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Why Do We Sometimes Fall In Love With The Wrong People? - Romance - Nairaland

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Why Do We Sometimes Fall In Love With The Wrong People? by xknowhow(m): 10:50am On Jul 17, 2013
I know many people may be wondering where such a question arises but I want you to know that this is nothing strange to people who never managed to keep a successful marriage/love relationship.

Such people are common everywhere but don’t look further; I happened to be a victim to this. If I have to be very candid here, I will say that most of the girls I dated in my college school days were just the wrong set of people.

This therefore pushed me to the edge to an extent in life that I began to reflect on my past relationship failures and from there, I started wondering why we do fall in love with the wrong people and from there, I decided to prop into this issue and so, came up with this article after being satisfied with what I got as a result of my 30days research on the topic.

This is Why we fall in love with the wrong people sometimes

The points listed below will act as some kind of assistance in bringing out the reasons why at times, we may fall in love with someone believing we’ve met our soul mates but later on discover that the soul mate we found was just the wrong match for us.

Relationship dependency: Relationship dependency is when a person finds his relationship as a means of solving their financial or social issues. With this impression in mind, such people are likely to fall in love with anyone having or matching such qualifications. But for the fact that someone has what we want does not necessarily guarantee that we share emotional feelings for them, right? In my book 'Getting over your ex in few days', I explained in details how relationship dependency happens to be one of the reasons why some people find it hard or never recover after the lost of their loved once. A research was carried out by a team of researchers in California after which it was evident that, as a result of relationship dependency, many people fall in love with the wrong people (their opposites) as a result of getting what they could not afford and also as a means of escaping from unwanted situations or bad memories.
Relationship by command: Are you aware that around the world, they are people who are today in relationships as a result of external influences and not by their desires and love for their partners? Most Africans really know about this better. For examples, in Africa, at the age of even 10, the parents already decided a lifetime partner for the child even though as ignorant as the child might be. Now, the worse of it being that, as a child, he accepts without any form of resistance and later in life starts regretting since he never married his desired partner and so, it’s evidently clear that their relationship will constantly suffer from petty breakups all the time as an effect of relationship by command. The issue of relationship by command also goes beyond teenage circles. Even at the age of adulthood when we are influenced by the society, parents, friends, and relatives to marry a certain person. When it happens, the sort of marriage is not based on genuine love desires since it originated from influential factors and not true love itself.
Social approval: Another factor why we fall in love with the wrong people is when we tend to answer to the call of social approval. For instance, Claudine had two friends and the first got married to a certain star and the second got married to a famous business guy in town. Most of the time, they constantly keep reminding Claudine of their new life styles; they keep talking of their husbands and the big times that come alongside being with their husbands. Not too long Claudine turned down the proposal Mark had made to her. They had shared this relationship for five years, but since Claudine was now influenced by her friends she now wants a famous guy and so, she no more finds Mark interesting as before. The issue here is that, she will likely fall in love with anyone appearing to be popular or famous (scammers, thieves, drug dealers are also famous) whether he is Mr. right or wrong thereby, the issue of falling in love with the wrong person is born.
Out of age: Also the problem of aging usual forces others to fall in love with the wrong people since they are usually left with the impression that they might end up without getting married or have a child. This issue confronts both men and women but women know this better especially towards the age of menopause as they are forced to get a child no matter what and so, all they need is just a relationship and this is no wonder why the divorce courts are usually busy as a result of falling in love with the wrong people.

Final say on why we fall in love with the wrong people

There are many reasons as to why some people find themselves in the wrong relationships but what I mentioned above is not just all but the main reasons behind this act.

In order to have more clues on this topic, see the related articles below of this. I should have compiled all the reasons/factors to make them as one great article, but if I do, the majority of readers will not be pleased to read something longer than this
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Source www.xknowhow.com/relationships_and_breakups.html
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Re: Why Do We Sometimes Fall In Love With The Wrong People? by Nomski0(f): 11:14am On Jul 17, 2013
Nice write up. I'm also a victim of falling for the wrong guys......but hey, how many people meet the right person the first time?


I guess we date the wrong people to know what's really right for us and who we really love.
Re: Why Do We Sometimes Fall In Love With The Wrong People? by SLIDEwaxie(m): 11:34am On Jul 17, 2013
undecided
Re: Why Do We Sometimes Fall In Love With The Wrong People? by Enegod(m): 3:01pm On Jul 17, 2013
Nomski0: I guess we date the wrong people to know what's really right for us and who we really love.
smh
Re: Why Do We Sometimes Fall In Love With The Wrong People? by sexymoma(f): 7:47pm On Jul 17, 2013
Nomski0: Nice write up. I'm also a victim of falling for the wrong guys......but hey, how many people meet the right person the first time?


I guess we date the wrong people to know what's really right for us and who we really love.
Seconded

1 Like

Re: Why Do We Sometimes Fall In Love With The Wrong People? by Sanboy25: 8:24pm On Jul 17, 2013
Déjà vu... undecided
Re: Why Do We Sometimes Fall In Love With The Wrong People? by hrykanu231(m): 10:42pm On Jul 17, 2013
Life and its irony I guess

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