I'm going to make my story as brief as possible. I married my wife few years back and Infact she has never been pregnant. But that's not the real story. I've promised myself never to have anything to do with a woman older than I am. Not because of any reason in particular, I just despise the whole idea of dating women Older than I am not to talk of marrying them.

Unfortunately, I told my wife this when we met and because she was desperate to marry me, she lied about her age. My wife is 5 years older than me. I got to find out from a school mate of her who happened to be a new colleague in my office. We were gisting and getting to know ourselves better, I quickly showed her a pic of my wife so she could know how beautiful she is.

She referred to my wife as aunty Kemi, and narrated how close they were, her real age and so many other things my wife actually hid from me. I confronted my wife and threatened her that if she didn't reveal her true age and all that I need to know about her past to me, I am going to divorce her.

That was when she confessed that she didn't tell me her real age because she found out before we got close that I was younger than her and because she didn't want to lose me and that age is just a number she had to lie. Not only that, she confessed how reckless and wayward she was in the past.(that could probably be the reason she's yet to give me a child, who knows?) I am so confused, and considering the fact that we don't have a child together yet, should I divorce her or just continue to live with her while I make her pay for all the lies she's told me. I need your advice urgently, thanks .....
More on Intimate Talk With Aderonke Bams(ITWAB)
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aderonkebams: I'm going to make my story as brief as possible. I married my wife few years back and Infact she has never been pregnant. But that's not the real story. I've promised myself never to have anything to do with a woman older than I am. Not because of any reason in particular, I just despise the whole idea of dating women Older than I am not to talk of marrying them.

Unfortunately, I told my wife this when we met and because she was desperate to marry me, she lied about her age. My wife is 5 years older than me. I got to find out from a school mate of her who happened to be a new colleague in my office. We were gisting and getting to know ourselves better, I quickly showed her a pic of my wife so she could know how beautiful she is.

She referred to my wife as aunty Kemi, and narrated how close they were, her real age and so many other things my wife actually hid from me. I confronted my wife and threatened her that if she didn't reveal her true age and all that I need to know about her past to me, I am going to divorce her.

That was when she confessed that she didn't tell me her real age because she found out before we got close that I was younger than her and because she didn't want to lose me and that age is just a number she had to lie. Not only that, she confessed how reckless and wayward she was in the past.(that could probably be the reason she's yet to give me a child, who knows?) I am so confused, and considering the fact that we don't have a child together yet, should I divorce her or just continue to live with her while I make her pay for all the lies she's told me. I need your advice urgently, thanks .....
More on Intimate Talk With Aderonke Bams(ITWAB)
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Going by your story you have every good reason to divioce her, though you don't expect any woman to tell you the truth about her bad past life when she knows you guys will be getting married.

On the aspect of the age age 5 years is just too much for a women to be older tban her husband. My advice is that you sick another alternative to give you children, my best bet here is that you wife knows what is responsible why she has given birth. You are the one paying for her past sins now.

On the other hand, you need to take her to a good doctor for martanity test let doctor confirmed it if she will still be able to mother a child. On the whole bcareful of that your wife. I wish you good luck.

delonz:

Going by your story you have every good reason to divioce her, though you don't expect any woman to tell you the truth about her bad past life when she knows you guys will be getting married.

On the aspect of the age age 5 years is just too much for a women to be older tban her husband. My advice is that you sick another alternative to give you children, my best bet here is that you wife knows what is responsible why she has given birth. You are the one paying for her past sins now.

On the other hand, you need to take her to a good doctor for martanity test let doctor confirmed it if she will still be able to mother a child. On the whole bcareful of that your wife. I wish you good luck.

I didn't read this!
ofcourse, I didn't.

aderonkebams: I'm going to make my story as brief as possible. I married my wife few years back and Infact she has never been pregnant. But that's not the real story. I've promised myself never to have anything to do with a woman older than I am. Not because of any reason in particular, I just despise the whole idea of dating women Older than I am not to talk of marrying them.

Unfortunately, I told my wife this when we met and because she was desperate to marry me, she lied about her age. My wife is 5 years older than me. I got to find out from a school mate of her who happened to be a new colleague in my office. We were gisting and getting to know ourselves better, I quickly showed her a pic of my wife so she could know how beautiful she is.

She referred to my wife as aunty Kemi, and narrated how close they were, her real age and so many other things my wife actually hid from me. I confronted my wife and threatened her that if she didn't reveal her true age and all that I need to know about her past to me, I am going to divorce her.

That was when she confessed that she didn't tell me her real age because she found out before we got close that I was younger than her and because she didn't want to lose me and that age is just a number she had to lie. Not only that, she confessed how reckless and wayward she was in the past.(that could probably be the reason she's yet to give me a child, who knows?) I am so confused, and considering the fact that we don't have a child together yet, should I divorce her or just continue to live with her while I make her pay for all the lies she's told me. I need your advice urgently, thanks .....
More on Intimate Talk With Aderonke Bams(ITWAB)
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Unbelievable!
My advice, let her go. You are too immature and infantile and would make life miserable for her. She doesnt deserve your whine.

Men and insecurities. What's wrong in confronting her about the issue and settling things in a mature way? Divorce her na. Then marry another liar and divorce that one too. By the time you marry 17 women, your eye go clear.

Btw, you can divorce her if you have NEVER lied to her. I mean NEVER. Either a simple or minute lie. If you have never lied, then....

delonz:

Going by your story you have every good reason to divioce her, though you don't expect any woman to tell you the truth about her bad past life when she knows you guys will be getting married.

On the aspect of the age age 5 years is just too much for a women to be older tban her husband. My advice is that you sick another alternative to give you children, my best bet here is that you wife knows what is responsible why she has given birth. You are the one paying for her past sins now.

On the other hand, you need to take her to a good doctor for martanity test let doctor confirmed it if she will still be able to mother a child. On the whole bcareful of that your wife. I wish you good luck.

I can't believe this! Smh...

God save our generation

Erm......I don't know if I should comment at all cos this situation is just twisted and it can spiral outta control at any time and point.

While I believe that her past is not connected with her not being able to conceive a child I am worried about the lie about her age.

Your issue about a child can easily be resolved as all you need do is go to a medical practitioner and get some tests done as you might actually be the person with the problem. Perhaps their is nor problem at all so you can't link her past with that.

The issue about her living a wayward and reckless life is inconsequential. As long as she has been loyal and faithful, I don't see why you should hold it against her. She has a past before she met you(a lot of women do) and that's it was.

Now to the huge lie, is this so much of a problem? I know it is not to me but it seems like a big deal to you cos it is one of your rules and principles. But I have to ask, has she been a good and supportive wife? Does she love you and you her? We all make mistakes and tell lil lies to make ourselves look attractive but that's cos we want that person.

Do some soul searching as see if you can be with her irrespective of her age and make a decision. You seem pretty rational and intelligent so think well and if you can't go beyond the age thing, then get a divorce. Staying married to make her suffer just hurts you more. Believe me.

Have a great day

ok,u want to make her pay for all the lies?
GOODLUCK.

Any relationship built on lies will not last...i still preach that we are human beings and since we cant know the past or the future, we should be esperimenting with the present. Be intimate before marriage, get her pregnant before marriage. These are sins b4 God, but its good to know the rules and break some. You can easily forgive your spouse, but you will hardly forget it. The only thing that would help you guys is the cry of a new baby. Women live reckless life during their teens and school days and sometimes, makes costly mistakes. It is very painful when an innocent guy pay for the mistakes with her. I call you innocent because, if you are not, you could have gotten her pregnant b4 marrying her. The age issue should not be a problem as far as she looks young to your liking but by dating, you could have known all these before now.

That is y i trust myself. I investigate a lot!

The question is how did she get to hide that? No facial appearance for suspicion? You didnt get to see any of her certificates? @all? I think you were too gullible!
Now you want to divorce her? What would you tell the kids? Because she lied? It does not just seem like the right step.
Going by what you typed, she didnt behave in any arrogant way, meaning she is submissive in spite of the age difference. Thats okkk by me.
To drive home how bad you feel, i think you should let her know. Talk things over, express how hurt you are and how bad it has attacked your trust for her. A sane lady should be sober about this.
If you notice remorse, then the case is settled. Maybe she didnt want to lose you or was trying to hide something sinister thats why she did what she did.
If she sounds indifferent, you must apply another strategy. But at all cost, avoid divorce like a plague. If for no reason, at least for your kids when they arrive the earth.

Mynd_44: Erm......I don't know if I should comment at all cos this situation is just twisted and it can spiral outta control at any time and point.

While I believe that her past is not connected with her not being able to conceive a child I am worried about the lie about her age.

Your issue about a child can easily be resolved as all you need do is go to a medical practitioner and get some tests done as you might actually be the person with the problem. Perhaps their is nor problem at all so you can't link her past with that.

The issue about her living a wayward and reckless life is inconsequential. As long as she has been loyal and faithful, I don't see why you should hold it against her. She has a past before she met you(a lot of women do) and that's it was.

Now to the huge lie, is this so much of a problem? I know it is not to me but it seems like a big deal to you cos it is one of your rules and principles. But I have to ask, has she been a good and supportive wife? Does she love you and you her? We all make mistakes and tell lil lies to make ourselves look attractive but that's cos we want that person.

Do some soul searching as see if you can be with her irrespective of her age and make a decision. You seem pretty rational and intelligent so think well and if you can't go beyond the age thing, then get a divorce. Staying married to make her suffer just hurts you more. Believe me.

Have a great day

You jus saved me from writing that epistle myself.

uj_sizzle:
You jus saved me from writing that epistle myself.

Lol

uj_sizzle:
You jus saved me from writing that epistle myself.

Ditto

.

Op you particularly want to divorce your wife because she did not give you her right age. May God help those who call His name but hate His instruction. Where in the bible were you advised to divorce on the basis of lies about age? So because of lie about age and not even immorality you now want to stop loving her? Where do you place forgiveness? Where you not taught on marriage class to always forgive so as to avoid the devil tempting the marriage? Do you not know that without forgiveness no marriage on earth will sail through? I hope that you have never slept with another woman since you married your wife because if you have, until resistitution is done by you confessing to her the right to divorce has biblically being taken away from you. That is the painful truth. Read your bible if you have one especially what God said about divorce. But if you don't give a damn about heaven, God or His blessings, then go ahead and divorce.

Caracta: Men and insecurities. What's wrong in confronting her about the issue and settling things in a mature way? Divorce her na. Then marry another liar and divorce that one too. By the time you marry 17 women, your eye go clear.

Btw, you can divorce her if you have NEVER lied to her. I mean NEVER. Either a simple or minute lie. If you have never lied, then....

Another thread to justify Deceit and Lies in Marriage that is suppose too be based on Trust...

Watching this thread..

kind.way:



Another thread to justify Deceit and Lies in Marriage that is suppose too be based on Trust...

Watching this thread..

Of course, marriage should be based on trust. She did wrong by lying. I wasn't trying to hold brief for her actions. Neither do I throw stones at people...I am not perfect too. The husband should seek first to understand before tearing their wedding certificate.

Listen to her. Settle things amicably. Don't throw all the good years away. Watch her reaction too.

Caracta:

Of course, marriage should be based on trust. She did wrong by lying. I wasn't trying to hold brief for her actions. Neither do I throw stones at people...I am not perfect too. The husband should seek first to understand before tearing their wedding certificate.

Listen to her. Settle things amicably. Don't throw all the good years away. Watch her reaction too.

I respect your maturity but also empathise with poster....so the only thing I'd say is now that the wife had cast aside the burden of deceit, there's a good chance she'll conceive

Go ahead son, dissolve the marriage. I'm not saying so because she lied about her age, but because of the pure spite and resentment you hold towards her. Don't play all godly and sanctimonious like you have never told a lie before or kept a secret from her. If at any moment you grow up and decide to make it work by forgiving her, goodluck!

DJTee:

I respect your maturity but also empathise with poster....so the only thing I'd say is now that the wife had cast aside the burden of deceit, there's a good chance she'll conceive

lol...was that why she couldn't conceive before? Then I wonder why pathological liars breed children like rabbits. Some people have done worse things, yet they have children. Please, let's draw a line between her inability to conceive and her deception. She lied, fine. Has it been proven? If yes, what did she say about it? Did she give unreasonable excuses? Did she apologize? Was she sober?

Divorce has become so cheap that a woman can get divorced for even sneezing at home.

uniqueval:
Go ahead son, dissolve the marriage. I'm not saying so because she lied about her age, but because of the pure spite and resentment you hold towards her. Don't play all godly and sanctimonious like you have never told a lie before or kept a secret from her. If at any moment you grow up and decide to make it work by forgiving her, goodluck!

Tough love.

What could a married man be discussing with a wife school mate in the office to the extent that u did not only show her your beautiful wife's picture, she went ahead to blast ur wife's past dealings to u. What was her intent wen she was washing ur wife's linen? May be u have found a better wife in this one.(Suspect no 1)
I guess u don't have a past and u never lied to her hence forgiveness is not in the option.

In as much a I hate deceit, yes ur wife lied which is very bad. but is that enough to devolve the marriage having confronted her and she confessed why she lied even thou she was wrong? On the issue of not having a child yet, there are hundreds out there who are medically fit but no trace of conceiving yet and still they are hopeful about the future.

Experiences has shown that most time when men accuse their wives of being responsible for not having a child medical tests prove the men are the problem. I suggest you go with ur wife and do the necessary tests and stop assuming base on hear say.

delonz:

Going by your story you have every good reason to divioce her, though you don't expect any woman to tell you the truth about her bad past life when she knows you guys will be getting married.

On the aspect of the age age 5 years is just too much for a women to be older tban her husband. My advice is that you sick another alternative to give you children, my best bet here is that you wife knows what is responsible why she has given birth. You are the one paying for her past sins now.

On the other hand, you need to take her to a good doctor for martanity test let doctor confirmed it if she will still be able to mother a child. On the whole bcareful of that your wife. I wish you good luck.

divorce ke?u dy joke ni,she lied and it hurts though..op try and move on with her.4 Beta 4 worse tinx...

Marriage is for better for worse (in all ramification). I know its not easy but just forgive and move on. And please stop talking to people whose aim is to break your home E.g that your wife's friend.

aderonkebams: I'm going to make my story as brief as possible. I married my wife few years back and Infact she has never been pregnant. But that's not the real story. I've promised myself never to have anything to do with a woman older than I am. Not because of any reason in particular, I just despise the whole idea of dating women Older than I am not to talk of marrying them.

Unfortunately, I told my wife this when we met and because she was desperate to marry me, she lied about her age. My wife is 5 years older than me. I got to find out from a school mate of her who happened to be a new colleague in my office. We were gisting and getting to know ourselves better, I quickly showed her a pic of my wife so she could know how beautiful she is.

She referred to my wife as aunty Kemi, and narrated how close they were, her real age and so many other things my wife actually hid from me. I confronted my wife and threatened her that if she didn't reveal her true age and all that I need to know about her past to me, I am going to divorce her.

That was when she confessed that she didn't tell me her real age because she found out before we got close that I was younger than her and because she didn't want to lose me and that age is just a number she had to lie. Not only that, she confessed how reckless and wayward she was in the past.(that could probably be the reason she's yet to give me a child, who knows?) I am so confused, and considering the fact that we don't have a child together yet, should I divorce her or just continue to live with her while I make her pay for all the lies she's told me. I need your advice urgently, thanks .....
More on Intimate Talk With Aderonke Bams(ITWAB)
www.it-wab.com

See her scheming all the way? That is what a desperate one would do. The amazon folks would be talking that the sons of adam are synonymous with deceit and lies!!!. What a shame *sheddingTears*
whup her a.s.s ,get your best Timberland boots and kick her da phucck outta yo crib.
Luckily for you, she ain't yo baby mama yet so no much drama.
Menh phuccck ds lying h.oes that don't stay true to a good man *sheedingTears* . This ish be real!!

aderonkebams: I'm going to make my story as brief as possible. I married my wife few years back and Infact she has never been pregnant. But that's not the real story. I've promised myself never to have anything to do with a woman older than I am. Not because of any reason in particular, I just despise the whole idea of dating women Older than I am not to talk of marrying them.

Unfortunately, I told my wife this when we met and because she was desperate to marry me, she lied about her age. My wife is 5 years older than me. I got to find out from a school mate of her who happened to be a new colleague in my office. We were gisting and getting to know ourselves better, I quickly showed her a pic of my wife so she could know how beautiful she is.

She referred to my wife as aunty Kemi, and narrated how close they were, her real age and so many other things my wife actually hid from me. I confronted my wife and threatened her that if she didn't reveal her true age and all that I need to know about her past to me, I am going to divorce her.

That was when she confessed that she didn't tell me her real age because she found out before we got close that I was younger than her and because she didn't want to lose me and that age is just a number she had to lie. Not only that, she confessed how reckless and wayward she was in the past.(that could probably be the reason she's yet to give me a child, who knows?) I am so confused, and considering the fact that we don't have a child together yet, should I divorce her or just continue to live with her while I make her pay for all the lies she's told me. I need your advice urgently, thanks .....
More on Intimate Talk With Aderonke Bams(ITWAB)
www.it-wab.com

See her scheming all the way? That is what a desperate one would do. The amazon folks would be talking that the sons of adam are synonymous with deceit and lies!!!. What a shame *sheddingTears*
whup her a.s.s ,get your best Timberland boots and kick her da phucck outta yo crib.
Luckily for you, she ain't yo baby mama yet so no much drama.
Menh phuccck ds lying h.oes that don't stay true to a good man *sheedingTears* . This ish be real!!

she did wrong by lying and wasnt gonna tell her husband the truth in the nearest future. maybe she was scared and thought that if she told him he would leave her but guess what he found out from an outside source.......she played him and deserves whatso ever treatment she gets..