hornipipe: Isn't marriage supposed to be a personal agreement between just two people?? Why should whatever two people decide to do affect anybody? Its all about personal preferences.

She didn't force you to marry her, if you don't agree with her own perspective on how the marriage should be run just shut up and leave her alone, its that simple, someone out there will definitely marry her with all her conditions, even though I agree some of the conditions stated are laughable.

Why would anyone take opinions from a survey of just 200 brides serious anyway??

coogar:

no wonder you are called kingkoboko, so you are a male-feminist, huh? i am sure you also wear sanitary pads every end of the month!

Aleeyouchalawa: am waiting for ladan to call for sallah, me wan drink water abeg...

carefreewannabe:
To your first question: Men are different and so they have different preferences. Many men would NOT mind marrying a Feminist. In fact, they would prefer to marry one. It doesn't mean these men are out of their minds. Some men just prefer Independent women who are into politics and who have big ambitions when it comes to their careers, women who have an opinion, women who want to be active and contribute to the family's income.

Feminism is not communism. Communism is based on the principle that everyone is equal. Feminism is based on the conviction that every woman is different. Consequently, some women are more family - oriented whereas others are more career - oriented, yet others want to have it all, career and family life. It's all about the FREEDOM to choose. Let women who want to be stay-in-home mums, be, and let women who are not meant to raise 5 children and do housework all day Long, do something else. Everyone should have the freedom to choose according to his interest and abilities.

Look, I DO consider myself a feminist, in the sense, that I am convinced that women should be EQUAL before the law and enjoy the same rights as men and be valued like men and I claim that I'm one of the most FEMALE creatures on earth. I have not turned out to be like a man. I am simply me, carefreewannbe, a NATURAL woman and happy about it. I enjoy it so much. It may come as a shock to but I love keeping the house warm, clean and comfy, I love cooking, I love Shopping and Fashion, I do my nails ...... and guess what, I'm interested in men.

I am really sad you have so many prejudices against the feminist movement which is also meant to serve your (future) daughters' safety and freedom.

coogar:

can they? you mean a feminist would buy herself a ring worth her 6 month salary?

coogar:

how can you fight for women's rights and then marry when the tenets of being married as a woman is submission, obey and honour?

why don't you people start fighting for body modification altogether? let everyone(both male and female) choose a neutral body features: same number of ribs, same brain size and 2 pairs of succulent brëasts for men so we can also be sharing the chore of breästfeeding our children

coogar: feminist wedding?

it sounds almost like an oxymoron - so feminists do actually marry? that's a big laugh!!! no engagement ring? well, that saves me a fortune....

keeping their maiden name? why marry at all then? isn't marriage supposed to be 2 becoming one? this is the most hilarious article ever. feminists are confused!

kingkoboko: I'M PROUD 2B A MALE-FEMINIST O! U NIGERIANS NEED 2LEARN WAT FEMINISM IS REALLY ABOUT SHA.

JST CHECK MY PROFILE & READ MY "I AM A MALE-FEMINIST" POST. OR GOOGLE "I AM NOT A FEMINIST BY SUGABELLY".

THANK ME LATER.

ekwah:

fair enough... I think the point about unfair and unbalanced roles is a little shaky but I get what you mean.

iamsaved: @op, this Is my typical daily routine. .
I am a "married" women who is currently pregnant and have a toddler.
I work 8am to 6pm Monday to Saturday in a private organisation while hubby works with government.

5am: wakes up, says morning prayer, brushes my teeth and head straight to the kitchen to prepare breakfast and lunch for my toddler baby.
6:30am, wakes baby up. brushes his teeth, feed him cereal, put him on the potty, stays with him to pet him to poopoo inside the potty (doesn't like using it). After cleaning him up, I bath him and get him set for his daycare.

7:20: I eat breakfast, tidy up the house, clean up an get ready for work.

I take baby to day care and proceed to work.

By the time I get to work, I am already 1hr late. This happens every blessed day.

By 5pm, pick baby from daycare and take him to my work place till I close by 6pm, then we go home.

Most times I go to the market from work to buy few stuffs.

As soon as I get home, I prepare and give baby food. Then sweat it out in the kitchen preparing dinner. depending on what I am cooking, I finish cooking most times between 8.30 - 9pm. serve hubby his food, eat mine, wash up all the plates. while cooking, every 3minutes interval, I take baby to the toilet or potty to weewee (he is still learning how to weeeee without pampers).

10pm: I bathe and go to bed. The struggle continues in the morning. same routine.

THIS IS MY HUSBANDS ROUTINE.
7:30am: he wakes up, go straight to clean up himself. Brush his teeth, baths and get set for work.

Eats breakfast and leaves for work.

7pm: he is at home, pings and chat and watch movies till dinner is ready. After eating, he bathes, continue watching movie, chatting and pings till 11pm.

Now I have begged, begged and begged he should assist me in the m
morning to bath our baby and dress him up for school but he refused. Said its a woman's duty to do everything in the home including solely caring for the children.

Infact last two weeks, I discusses this same issue with
him, explained to him how my boss has been complaining of my lateness. He shoul at least be considerate but he said i should go and ask other married women how to cope.

I dont have to go in too deep to expiain how thi his particular behaviour has affected me. I see myself now as a single mother! and oh I contribute financially to the home.

on sunday is busiest, church h, market, wash clothes, prepare soups and stew. no rest.

Cant afford to get a maid now. No much money!
Op if this is your idea of marriage, you need to think again. brb

Texas.Cowgirl:


Kini?

Maybe in Nigeria. With marriage comes societal concerns and benefits (health, life insurance,etc)

Still surprises me that marriage isnt being taxed sef

coogar:

that's why i said it's an oxymoron.....they want to keep their maiden name because answering their hubby's name is antifeminist. meanwhile, the maiden name is their father's last name which is also patriarchal!

see how confused these women are....

Shollypopz:

I hope the highlighted is in regards to this thread and not the fight for gender equality as a whole. For your own good, I really do hope.

souldust: @sholly, i was thinking you were going to open the english comon law which nigeria uses and show me where it is codifed or you can open the constitutuion of the Federal Republic Of Nigeria and show it to me not a wikipeadia that is not even recognised as a good reference point by serious university.

Calm down dude. You are making a lot of spelling errors

Yes, you're right. Wikipedia isn't a good source, but don't act like we don't use it and then leave it out in our work cited You can scroll down on the Wikipedia link I posted and look at it's cited source. The law was reviewed in 2003 but nothing was done. Marital r*ape isn't illegal in Nigeria, you can do the research yourself.

Shollypopz:
Are you an Idiot??!! Of course, there are women that earn more than men if they are in better positions or higher paying jobs. A female computer scientist is going to earn more than a male mechanic, you mor0n! I said counterparts, meaning women in the same workplace doing the same job as a man and earning less than he does.


LMAO!! You just shot yourself in the foot. I'm so disappointed cos I truly feel like I'm talking to a f00l. You just listed why males are viewed as more important than females and then you complain about people that are trying to remove the factors you mentioned above. The question I would want you to ask yourself which I'm def sure you already know the answer to, is:
Why is the male child the one allowed to carry the name of the family?? Why aren't you in support of women that also want to carry on the names of their families?? Don't you think that if equality truly exists, both children would be given a chance to choose whether they want to carry on their father's names or not?? How come that what you listed above hasn't had any influence on how a female child or male child is viewed??


I mean, for God sake! Look @ what you just wrote to me while telling me that there is gender equality. "A woman gets married off anyway". What sort of gender equality exists when women gets sold to males like a piece of property. And how does that make them equal to the opposite gender??


Biologically, men have more physical strength than women. No one is disputing that. Therefore women become easier targets to troubled souls. If you look @ statistics of r*ape victims, women are obviously the one suffering more from this. This is the only explanation I can give on why it might appears than when we talk of rape victims, we think women. I believe that a wife that rapes her husband, deserves to be jailed. I am for gender equality not for female superiority.



The issue with what you have above is the modern society. Earning a living doesn't require physical strength anymore as it does acquired skill, and brain power. I'm so mad that I'm talking to you and I have to be telling you the obvious. Women are not born with an innate power to cook, do the laundry, wash the bathrooms or lay the bed. There is nothing in our genes or organs that make us any better than men in doing those things I've listed.
Why should financial provision rest solely on the man??


D1cks doesn't make you any powerful than women. In fact based on history, most men that made decision with their d1cks got themselves in serious trouble, so permit me to say d1cks only makes you weaker than the female race.

hornipipe: Huh...

I don't understand you, maybe you quoted the wrong post or you should elaborate??

collynzo2: Feminists.
If you hate men so much, why are you always
trying to be like us?

REALITY101: I like this

Afam4eva:
I made my comment without throwing insults but you just to tow that part but i will ignore cos it seems some you women cannot make a point without insulting people.

No, there are women who earn more than men in the same position and as the head of IT for a company in lagos i'm privy to this information.

Men are different from women and not more superior than women. It's unfortunate that some of you women see taking up a different role as being superior or inferior as the case may be. It simply means you hate your own skin...As for who carries the family name, It depends on the culture and here in Africa, men carry the family because unlike them, the women marry and move out while the men inherit their father's property. I guess your next question would be why the men inherit the property and not the woman. lol

You can as well change the world by advisable female folk to start asking for the hand of men in marriage instead of vice-versa. Let me ask you, what religion do you belong to and what does your religion say about marriage. What does your culture say? What are you basing women being married off on?

We seem to be focusing on physical r.ape but not psychological rape. Women r.ape men just as much as men r.ape and molest them but no one cares.

I'm not equating having d1cks with having physical power. What i want to know is where you guys will draw the line with gender equality.