I will not like my husband going clubbing on his own. If he does not go that is even better, I am not the clubbing type.

If he wants to go, I am coming along. lol

.

amber_ella:

I have a friend who thinks like you. She's always trying to tag along when her husband goes clubbing, so he goes without her and makes up lies about where he's been. It's such a disgrace for her to humiliate herself like that. If she doesn't trust him, why is she married to him?

Can you imagine my husband trying to come along with my girlfriends when we go clubbing - running after us like a little puppy? It would be disgraceful, and it's no different for wives.

I guess I going to marry someone like me to avoid lies. I don't care about going clubbing.

amber_ella:

I have a friend who thinks like you. She's always trying to tag along when her husband goes clubbing, so he goes without her and makes up lies about where he's been. It's such a disgrace for her to humiliate herself like that. If she doesn't trust him, why is she married to him?

Can you imagine my husband trying to come along with my girlfriends when we go clubbing - running after us like a little puppy? It would be disgraceful, and it's no different for wives.

How can she trust someone that makes up lies of his whereabouts ?

merge:

I guess I going to marry someone like me to avoid lies. I don't care about going clubbing.

Marry a good Christian man and that'll be one less thing you'll worry about
you both will be "clubbing" in the house of God.
It works for me.

sheniqua:

Marry a good Christian man and that'll be one less thing you'll worry about
you both will be "clubbing" in the house of God.
It works for me.

yes I will lol

@poster it is not a cultural thing.
I am guessing that most people on this thread are not married. If your husband is the waka about type
believe me there is nothing you can do,except maybe coming to nairaland to whine.
Most times i wish my husband can go out and have fun after working so hard but he is not the outing type
We all need some space once in awhile,if you don't trust your husband how can we help you?
Men generally hates clingy women,go get a life have your own friends,get a hobby,blog,paint,dance and do something
for yourself like earning money.When you are busy with work,children,school,and hobbies you won't notice
if he went to a club.Men leave their house if they have a nagging wife,an unkempt woman.They want you to be their
mother,wife,cook,girlfriend all in one.
@poster tell your friend to always prepare nice warm dinner ready for her husband.she should bathe, wear sexy night
wear with sweet smelling perfume,set candle light dinners,buy his favourite drinks,play cool love music.If he comes back welcome him and ask of his day at work.He wouldn't want to go out again but in case he still does,don't complain as time goes by he will start feeling guilty because of how nice you have been guess what? you will then have your husband back.Please try all these and give us feed back.

TOH, like a face like yours i bet your husband would be going clubbing everyday

@TOPIC

I won't be worried, if my Husband goes Clubbing without me. Like Hello, two can play at that Game.
He would get a shock when He finds out that, I'm the one doing Pole Dancing at the Stripper Joints.

.

yep clubbing with me of course

omo ale

Yeah well one man did it here in dublin, went clubbing without his wife and now a ugandan lady is about to give birth for him.

We dont even go to clubs only very rarely we go to houseparties together and when we do go we go to clubs we go together and even when people see you with your husband they are still over chatting you up (im talking men and women). I actually had this discussion with my husband and he said he is not even keen on going to clubs. Thankfully, hopefully it will stay this way

@Tyna1, she has tried absolutely everything.

I'm soon a husband to be, and this issue came up. First she took away my cigarettes, then my beers but the las bit is the clubbing.

Omo E go hard o!

I dont think it is cool to take your wife to the club, but if shes willing to join me then that would'nt be a problem.

But wetin person wife dey find for club wen childrens dey house wey she suppose dey look. Na wah O!

How sad that when the man is out misbehaving, the woman takes a hot bath and puts pretty-smelling lotion on!

Imagine the wife is out clubbing and behaving in a disrespectful manner toward her husband, so the husband takes a nice bath and cooks her supper.  

These women need stop to accepting this kind of treatment.  Don't chase your man like a lost puppy.  Don't dress in lingerie to reward bad behavior.  It's pathetic.  The first step is to develop a healthy self-esteem.

Esss:

I'm soon a husband to be, and this issue came up. First she took away my cigarettes, then my beers but the las bit is the clubbing.

Omo E go hard o!

I don't think it is cool to take your wife to the club, but if shes willing to join me then that would'nt be a problem.

But wetin person wife dey find for club when childrens dey house wey she suppose dey look. Na wah O!

@Esss wat do u mean by wetin wifey dey find 4 club,r u trying 2 tell mua dat a womans life shuld stop all in d name of marriage and children,y u no fit takia of d kids y wifey go club

chisimdi:

@Esss what do u mean by wetin wifey dey find 4 club,r u trying 2 tell mua that a womans life shuld stop all in d name of marriage and children,y u no fit takia of d kids y wifey go club

Nne dis is africa.

It is aluu (taboo) for wifey to go club. Ogini ka o na cho na club?

Her lyf will not stop, thats why they have august meeting.

On a more serious note sha, that culture is yet to catch on, maybe with our generation things might just change. But take me for example, my girlfriend would not even go near a club. I love clubbing. So what do we do??

Esss:

Nne this is africa.

It is aluu (taboo) for wifey to go club. Ogini ka o na cho na club?

Her lyf will not stop, thats why they have august meeting.

On a more serious note sha, that culture is yet to catch on, maybe with our generation things might just change. But take me for example, my girlfriend would not even go near a club. I love clubbing. So what do we do??

@esss nwanna o nwegi alu obu,except na onwere nwa godogodo ihaziri icho ibu ga di club,i thank god say my husby no dey like dat,anyway sha dim ma na di kochikochi.

@ chisimdi

Onye ga e nedo umuazi ngbe di na nwuye je club?

If the husband goes to the club, no problem, if the wife goes for prayer meetings, night vigil or crusade (with husbands permission) no problem. But in ome nala (tradition), a wife cannot go to disco. Imagine a woman drinking Nmaya Ngwo in a meeting of elders.

Tufiakwa. Ezigbo Aluu ka obu. Oda ghi ememe.

If you try it you will be stripped and taken around the market on the next Nkwo market day.

It is even a sin for a married woman to be seen in the club.

In europe do as the europeans do, in obodo anyi bu Africa, do as we do.

@esss nwanna hapu ihe edere na moto ba n'ime ya,europe or no europe, ala igbo or no ala igbo,it is not alu 4 nwanyi aluru alu iso di ya ga kuru ekere unless ma onwe ihe i bu n'obi.as 4 umuaka 4 sure somebodi go dey house wit them.because club starts late so umuaka ehi go ura b4 una go waka.

@ Chisimdi
That is why E no ireland. Ala ndi ocha aba go ghi n'isi. Odika E che fu go ome nala ndi ebe anyi. Anyways Nwanne, enjoy.

Mu na my wife ga ne je kwa club o! Mana oburo ka ndi be' anyi na eme.

Esss:

@ Chisimdi
That is why E no ireland. Ala ndi ocha aba go ghi n'isi. Odika E che fu go ome nala ndi ebe anyi. Anyways Nwanne, enjoy.

Mu na my wife ga ne je kwa club o! Mana oburo ka ndi be' anyi na eme.

@Esss owegi ala ndi ocha baramu isi,Abum Nwa afor igbo,na mu na dim na aku ekere has neva stopped me frm taking care of umuaka.we dey club 4 niga pass ireland here cos na 4 nigar wey d real activity dey.LOL

@4HERFirst of all, why don’t you post something reasonable towards the topic instead of poke nosing in someone else affair and mind your business because my comment was personally not directed to you or are you TOH, or when did she appoint you as her PR
Lmfao fight with who? You or TOH, or na both, girl get a life, I got no time for cyber war, I deal with real life issues/people.

Anyway am done with this thread , this is what happens when you stay to long on a thread

Like you said, why dnt I mind my business, well hon, I would have done that if you would have minded yours and ignored TOH's comment. I'm sure that no one whipped you and made you criticize her comment, so what were you doing not minding your business?
I dnt get some people and their way of thinking sha. You go up and down calling someone a hypocrite when you're not better off yourself. Please abeg, before you start preaching to me, make sure you're better off in that area.

As for not dealing with cyberwar, what happened on the other thread when you got your @$$ thrashed? oh yea, that was not cyber war, those two gals were just teaching you a lesson. A lesson well learned, I must say.

Uche2nna (m)
USA
Posts: 4646

Offline

  Re: Husband In Nite Clubs/discos
« #146 on: May 29, 2008, 03:42 PM » 

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Quote from: sheniqua on May 29, 2008, 03:03 PM
It is surprising that she tells us she can't take it if her husband were to go discoing when it's obvious she takes a whole lot more.



And then she comes out to make everything look like a Nigerian thing. I wonder how a white man would feel if I ask him if pedophilic tendencies is part of their culture?

Nobody is saying that it is not the same elsewhere in the world. Yeah!  She could take a whole lot more. . . but since she can't take the clubbing aspect. . . nothing wrong there.  Everyone has their limits!

Before we make comparative analysis of other men clubbin' without their wives culturally or geographically, please acknowledge certain things.

Is it the norm that Nigerian guys go out often without their wives?  In Nigeria, how many men above 25 years of age go to parties with their girlfriends or their wives. . . especially o the so called "coporate dinners"?

In this case. . . .I have to answer to the affirmative. . . yes it is the Nigerian culture.  Doing things as a family or as a couple is seldom the norm.  Most Nigerian men do not want that so they can play around as much as they want.  You all can deny it all you want.

The facts speak for themselves. . . polygamy!

Leilah (f)
UK
Posts: 388

Offline

  Re: Husband In Nite Clubs/discos
« #172 on: Yesterday at 10:12:26 PM » 

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Yeah well one man did it here in dublin, went clubbing without his wife and now a ugandan lady is about to give birth for him. 

We don't even go to clubs only very rarely we go to houseparties together and when we do go we go to clubs we go together and even when people see you with your husband they are still over chatting you up (im talking men and women).  I actually had this discussion with my husband and he said he is not even keen on going to clubs.  Thankfully, hopefully it will stay this way 

Leilah frankly, it is not a big deal.  If you want to go together fine.  Mine goes without me and I go without him. . .we are not divorced yet and neither has any other kids out of wedlock yet. Even if that were to happen, I would not bat an eyelid. Life is too short to make a mountain out of a molehill. My happiness always comes first and clinging to a man is not one of my strengths or weaknesses. 

Good thing that your husband has decided not to go to clubs without you.  You have got your wish there.  We do not always get want we want in life and as a result life becomes a compromise "ALWAYS"!!! Different strokes for different folks.  Nothing to get hypertensive about.

By the way, marriage is not a matter of life and death! We all make the best of it. Whenever your husband decides to go clubbing without you, I hope you will then get a divorce or buy a gun and shoot him in the head to death.  Since according to you. . . that is a cardinal sin from the vatican city!

A man going clubbing without his wife is no big deal. He probably has done worse in the marriage and the wife cannot do a damn thing about it but pack her bags back to her father's house if he decides to continue clubbing.  We as women have that choice.

Big deal!

TOH (f)
Posts: 58

Offline

  Re: Husband In Nite Clubs/discos
« #159 on: Yesterday at 03:31:34 PM » 

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I wont post it here for the world to see Builder, stop worrying

AJ, is it that serious. This is the first time you've ever come back after saying "Goodbye Thread". Lolz o ga o. Leilah fans 


Quote
She did not ask a stupid question like most imbecilic Nairaland 1-post opening liners do

Um yes she did. If the topic of the thread stayed as is, there wouldnt be a problem. Problem started when she decided to claim it as a cultural thing. Everything is "Is that Nigerian culture".  "My husband forced anal on me, Is that Nigerian culture. My husband beat me up for asking abouty porn is that Nigerian culture" Abegi make I hear word
I know you have no problem with people bashing Nigeria. Good to know, but sometimes some of us actually get bored of it esp when it's by clueless foreigners

What kind of naive woman thinks that men who leave their wives to go off and play "mr single" is a cultural thing. Lats I checked it seems to be a thing alot of men do unfortunately, crosses "cultural barriers". Dudes are bloody greedy. So yea it's kind of a foolish question

The original question (in the topic line) however isnt and that's how she should have kept it. 

Check well my dear!  I do come back to threads unless I find them very obnoxious in the sense that there is nothing meaningful to discuss.  Or the number of undesireable elements are just mind boggling.

All I can see here is that you have a personal gripe with Leilah describin' what she sees from an interacial perspective. Yes! It is a cultural thing. Yes!  It is the Nigerian culture! Are you denying it?

Go Lagos make you see super Nigerian marriages in action. When we discuss other cultures than we can bring in the similarities and differences. For now all you can do is write yes or no.

Heck yes, I don't have a problem with people bashing Nigeria, the US or any other country or culture in this world. . . AS LONG AS WHAT THEY BASH RINGS TRUE!

You never get bored with hearing/reading the truth unless there is a problem with denial or shame of exposure.

Don't bring in other threads unless they have bearing to what is being discussed.  You only derail the thread further into personal attacks.  Just state your observations to the matter in the affirmative or negative. Sometimes getting through to you can be pretty dann difficult.

Simple!

Anal sex or not, who cares?  That was her personal problem that has no business with this topic!: Abi?

@Leilah

Well over to you Leilah! I look forward to more interesting observations of our wonderful Nigerian men.  Let me see where I can help you out. I love to read from other cultures what they think of Nigerians. . .Nairaland being a predominantly Nigerian inhabited website. . .objectivity is gravely lacking for the most part. That is the height of my boredom.  Many think alike with no individuality.  Or worse still, like they are under a spell with missing brains!

My pleasure always!

This is what you get when you marry a man with the misguided idea that you can change him. Marry a man who respects you enough to not do those things that will get you upset, if you dont like clubbing then dont marry a clubber.

4 Him:

This is what you get when you marry a man with the misguided idea that you can change him. Marry a man who respects you enough to not do those things that will get you upset, if you don't like clubbing then don't marry a clubber.

well said.

Xiomarra:

All I can see here is that you have a personal gripe with Leilah describin' what she sees from an interacial perspective. Yes! It is a cultural thing. Yes! It is the Nigerian culture! Are you denying it?

Of course Im denying it. the act of removing your wedding ring so as to seem single is Nigerian culture as well? Forgive me for considering it to be Irresponsible Male syndrome. Such garbage is done everywhere esp by married men going thru "mid life crisis"

and the examples I mentioned from her past threads have everything to do with that one. Most people see the correlation hence Uche and osisi's replies. Im obviously NOT the only one.

ANYWAY nothing wrong with a couple having fun dancing wherever, some replies are just so off

What is wrong with that? Does mariage means LIVING IN BONDAGE?

I went to one of these clubs last night (friday) with buddies who were able to either negotiate or seize a night pass from their spouses. My only conclusion is that it is certainly not where you go with serious GFs let alone wives. Talk can be d urty and besides you just can't help stealing glances. And we know how ladies hate that. But the whole idea is to let loose. Methinks nothing wrong with a once in a long while j ive with pals but never forgetting Mi ssus is at home.

May I add that we were at our best behaviour.

It is Ok where there is love and respect. We at www.phcityonline.com will give you latest info about clubs and bars in PH City on our site, visit us sonest.