₦airaland Forum

ggg

Love has been defined, Re defined, under defined and over defined.

Love has been grossly abused and misused that I don't even understand love again.

Love is not about changing someone, it's about accepting her for who she is. You may propose change in certain aspects, if she refuses, then you accept her for who she is.

Eventually it's all about compromise, but if you really have big deals with certain aspects of her lifestyle, then it's better you leave her and go for someone that fits in into your description of a wonderful spouse.

Letting her go doesn't mean you don't love her, it just means you love yourself also and know what you want in a woman.

In summary, if it's a big deal, let her go and if you don't, it's going to be far dissatrous in the latter future.

If u want 2 love ha,u nid 2 take ha n love ha d way she is,don't change anyfin..

^^^ Disagree.
If you love someone and you notice deficiencies in them, you would try to improve them. Improvement IS change, innit?

In the OPs case, he may love her (I most times wonder if nairalanders really experience love the way they throw the word about) but he obviously has commitment issues. Work on yourself dude and discover what you want from life. And if marriage isn't one of them, clear commot make the babe see road. She obviously wants to get married. Either do it or get out of her way.

My brother, i feel you. I've been there too. You know you really care about this person, yet you don't know why you're easily irritated by her choices.

It is called ''Incompatibility''; means you two are not compatible. You love, respect, and care for each other, but your lifestyles/choices/principles just don't match.

Here are your choices:

A. The ''Love'' choice:
Decide for yourself if you love her enough to take her as she is. Does the way she makes you smile, the love and devotion she showers on you, does it out-weigh the intense dislike you have for her hairstyle and dresscode? Does the happiness of her presence outweigh the arguments it brings along? Are you in love with her simply because she's in love with you? Close your eyes and imagine being married to her FOREVER, and having to endure all you don't like about her FOREVER. If you can do that, then go buy that ring, tiger, cos she's your Queeeeeen tooo beeeee...
But if you can't, ahem, a-bobby scroll down...

B. The ''Reality'' Choice:
This is where you use your head instead of your heart. Its a hard, cruel choice, but it'll save you both heart-break, heartache, and a broken home. Call her, bare your mind to her, and BREAK UP. Shikena. I've done it myself, so i know this might be the hardest thing you'll ever do. After you've done it, the memory of the pain and hurt you caused her will haunt you for months. You will call yourself a monster.But that's why it is the ''reality'' choice, cos years later you'll be glad you did it. And when she's finally found a new man who takes her as she is, she'll call to tell you Thank you.

Love might be blind, but reality sees in 3D and technicolor.

Love her just in her own way, u dnt knw wat u got until u lose her. Love dey say it doesn't come easy @all! With time, things shud get well !

My che che che che che

This wayo thing called love ehn


You are already bored eh? You never jam. Enter marriage first you go know wetin dey


Imagine seeing the same face, same voice and same kpekus on a daily, weekly, monthly, yearly and steadily basis

Na that time you go know say boredom get part 9

Well, to try to improve someone ain't bad at all... Whether you choose to call it change or improve or ameliorate, whichever way you see it, it ain't bad at all. But then, what is worth taking into knowledge is the frequency or rather the intensity in bringing about that change.

Without further ado, I just wanna say you guys are not compatible hook, line and sinker. You might find areas where you are really compatible and thus would wanna conclude from such points, but in reality you guys are not very compatible wih eachother, and the earlier you realise that and do the needful before it's late, the better for the both of you.

Moreso, I think the chemistry between you guys is not seemless. And from my point of view, this, coupled with the issue of incompatibility is the reason you complain too many times. Yea! I said complain because in discerning the whole thing, I could conclude that it's not a case of trying to improve or change her in a positive way but rather complaints. And it seems you don't love her for the right reasons afterall...

This is what happens when your love towards another is conditioned to a particular feature. If your love were unconditional, you won't help but love everything about her still. That doesn't mean you won't try to improve her in some rather sensitive areas, but then not at such rate or frequency you are going about yours.

Please try to review everything from adam and see if it's worth being in this relationship of yours. And act accordingly subsequently.

.booked

There are some things that some people don't know. Changing people to suit your liking has 2 faces i.e it can make or mar the marriage. On the process of changing someone, she or he might start showing "fake" adaption just to suit you and not herself or himself. Such a person might start hiding under the coverage of pretences , making you believe that he or she is now changed just to make you happy and relaxed. This "trying" to change someone during courtship or dating is very risky. That is why after some years in marriage, you may start to see new characters(not really new but the person's normal character) which will start affecting the peace of the marriage. By then you will be surprised, and start blaming all the demons in your household or even her for an ugly character transformation whereas you as a person, has the whole blame when you were busy pursing a change in her character during courtship instead of pursuing a way to end the relationship or accepting her naturally the way she is. Whatever charater you saw in your spouse when you came into courtship, is definitely the character they will maintain after wedding or some years after. It is the holy spirit that changes people and not human doing the magic. Compatibility does not demand you start changing people. Compatibility demands that you two(without one trying to change one's ideology or character) concur with each others ideology and character. Quit trying to change people's character for what you see when you came has 80% chances of being there after wedding although might be hiddden just to please you. Is either you accept her the way she is or you walk way. Fortunatly what you are advised to do is "teaching" her what you think she "does not know". Like cooking well or how to cook some kind of food, etc. And not changing her attitude. You may regret it years later in marriage, when the heat of marriage comes in and she or he starts changing to their real characters in which they faked to have faded away only to please you. Every build up in a marriage must allow to flow naturally. Let us be guided.

There are some things that some people don't really know. Changing people to suit your liking has 2 faces i.e it can make or mar the marriage. On the process of changing someone, she or he might start showing "fake" adaption just to suit you and not herself or himself. Such a person might start hiding under the coverage of pretences , making you believe that he or she is now changed just to make you happy and relaxed. This "trying" to change someone during courtship or dating is very risky. That is why after some years in marriage, you may start to see new characters(not really new but the person's normal character) which will start affecting the peace of the marriage. By then you will be surprised, and start blaming all the demons in your household or even her for an ugly character transformation whereas you as a person, has the whole blame when you were busy pursing a change in her character during courtship instead of pursuing a way to end the relationship or accepting her naturally the way she is. Whatever charater you saw in your spouse when you came into courtship, is definitely the character they will maintain after wedding or some years after. It is the holy spirit that changes people and not human doing the magic. Compatibility does not demand you start changing people. Compatibility demands that you two(without one trying to change one's ideology or character) concur with each others ideology and character. Quit trying to change people's character for what you see when you came has 80% chances of being there after wedding although might be hiddden just to please you. Is either you accept her the way she is or you walk way. Fortunatly what you are advised to do is "teaching" her what you think she "does not know". Like cooking well or how to cook some kind of food, etc. And not changing her attitude. You may regret it years later in marriage, when the heat of marriage comes in and she or he starts changing to their real characters in which they faked to have faded away only to please you. Every build up in a marriage must allow to flow naturally. Let us be guided.

pDude: My che che che che che

This wayo thing called love ehn


You are already bored eh? You never jam. Enter marriage first you go know wetin dey


Imagine seeing the same face, same voice and same kpekus on a daily, weekly, monthly, yearly and steadily basis

Na that time you go know say boredom get part 9

Hehehehe na true yarn you yarn o jare