My younger brother met this white girl online for about 5 years now. They have been chatting, calling each other on phone and sending cards. My brother is 23 years and the white girl is 25 years. She's been so close to my family especially my mum and my siblings. I speak to her on phone and chat with her often. My brother has had the opportunity to speak to her family too.

Now what bothers me is that she wants my brother to come over to Canada where she lives. She's a Canadian by the way! My kid brother is still in 300 level in one of the universities in the east. She's been talking to my family to allow my brother come over to Canada. My brother is eager to go over to Canada and probably start a new life.

Everyone in the family seems confused whether to allow him go.
I just need advice because as the first born of the family, my decision is very important.

Dear friends, should my brother be allowed to go to Canada? No insults please!

why not?
The only thing here is that he is not yet through with his schooling... She just have to wait for one year or more. Or would he forego his studies because of a lady? That sounds like infatuation+childishness.
He can go but only if he finishes his academics.

idnoble135: why not?
The only thing here is that he is not yet through with his schooling... She just have to wait for one year or more. Or would he forego his studies because of a lady? That sounds like infatuation+childishness.
He can go but only if he finishes his academics.

I forgot to add that she wants him to come for a visit first before the end of this year. she said she needs a picture of both of them together to prove they are both in a relationship for tourist visa or so. Then after school, he will join her finally.

Another thing i fear is racism. with the way Nigerians are being killed because of white chicks, am really scared.

If she needs your brother that much let her come to Nigeria. Women suppose to follow men and not the other way round. You brother is still young and should not be allowed to devote his time on chasing love. You said he is a student? So u want him to forget school and chase love?

Berem, u fall my hands

berem: I forgot to add that she wants him to come for a visit first before the end of this year. she said she needs a picture of both of them together to prove they are both in a relationship for tourist visa or so. Then after school, he will join her finally.

makes sense to me. I was actually thinking also that she needs to come to check him here in Nigeria first. And to be recognized by your parents. What do you think of everything?

I will advice your brother to convince her to come to Nigeria first. After staying like one week or two weeks with your family, she can then go back. Then your brother will then try to finish his school. I guess it's a normal degree of 4 years, which means it remain a year for him to finish. Then after his studies, he can then travel to Canada with someone from the family for the wedding. When the wedding is over, the other member of the family that accompanied him can then return while ur brother stays back to enjoy his marriage and then start a new life there.

But he should also calculate all the pros and cons of marrying white ladies. There are things they dont tolerate.

xynerise: If she needs your brother that much let her come to Nigeria. Women suppose to follow men and not the other way round. You brother is still young and should not be allowed to devote his time on chasing love. You said he is a student? So u want him to forget school and chase love?

Berem, u fall my hands

That's why i need advice. Am not saying he should go just because he yearns for greener pasture. I told the girl to come to Nigeria, but she says the horrible news she reads about Nigeria scares her. though she promised she will come to Nigeria after my brother visits first. she's been to some African countries, so this won't be her first visit to Africa.

CreativeWeb: I will advice your brother to convince her to come to Nigeria first. After staying like one week or two weeks with your family, she can then go back. Then your brother will then try to finish his school. I guess it's a normal degree of 4 years, which means it remain a year for him to finish. Then after his studies, he can then travel to Canada with someone from the family for the wedding. When the wedding is over, the other member of the family that accompanied him can then return while ur brother stays back to enjoy his marriage and then start a new life there.

But he should also calculate all the pros and cons of marrying white ladies. There are things they dont tolerate.

Your last paragraph is my problem. marrying a white lady is what am still trying to imbibe. If he does marry her, she is not the first white wife in my family. My paternal cousin married a German and they have 2 kids.

No. She should visit first.

CreativeWeb: No. She should visit first.

Thanks for your advice.

I also think she should visit first.

trust and dedication is very important in any relationship, He is doing ok. She needs to understand that he is not desperate to move abroad.

Oohrhii: I also think she should visit first.

trust and dedication is very important in any relationship, He is doing ok. She needs to understand that he is not desperate to move abroad.

Actually, she's the desperate one here. I'll still have to do more convincing for her to come. Thanks.

Your brother has never met the girl nor spend quality time to see if she is the one for him. Let us remove the fact she is white and if she was Asian...the issues would be the same.

Five years is a long time to not spend quality time with a person that you are talking of marriage and starting a new life. He knows nothing of her but what she tells him.

How is going to get a picture of them together if she has never visited him and vice versa?

What if he decides to meet her in Canada and it doesn't work out? Just because you chatted with a person for five years doesn't mean you are compatible with each other. .

Scamming goes both ways and there are foreigners who do prey on immigrants and if he has no one in Canada...she can mistreat him or put him out. He need to carefully think about what he is getting himself into and protect himself at all time.

It's impossible to truly love a stranger. He may be infatuated but certainly not in love with her.

Once two strangers meet and face reality that is when the love test starts....not over the internet.

berem: Actually, she's the desperate one here. I'll still have to do more convincing for her to come. Thanks.

She appears to be lonely and desperate. She is self conscious and apparently isn't a hot cake. She is putting her happiness with a guy she has never met and will probably kill herself if he let her down.

It may be an assumption but do you find it odd that a girl chats with a guy for five years and never met him physically but INSIST that he come to her knowing his financial and security status?

I am assuming that he is a struggling student living with parents.

Does she have financial stability to support both in case he doesn't get a work permit? What if she decides that he is not what she thought of him...where would your brother go?

Are you guys able to send for him promptly?

see people analyzing another person's future. Let the man go to Canada and see for himself. whats the worst that could happen? they break up they fight etc. which relationship is perfect? weren't we all strangers before we became close?

So your brother finishes his education which by the way won't be honored in canada then what? what has him finishing school have to do with anything? The only bearing finishing school in nigeria has is if he comes back to Nigeria which i'm sure he is not planning to do.

Even if she comes to nigeria and you like her or she shows to be nice and gentle she can still be evil. Basically you never know and hindering someone from pursuing love or opportunity can make them hate you later on.

one last thing, who is buying the ticket for him to go?

Mrs.Chima:


She appears to be lonely and desperate. She is self conscious and apparently isn't a hot cake. She is putting her happiness with a guy she has never met and will probably kill herself if he let her down.

It may be an assumption but do you find it odd that a girl chats with a guy for five years and never met him physically but INSIST that he come to her knowing his financial and security status?

Are you guys able to send for him promptly?

come on Mrs Chima i know you have cable and you watch catfish on MTV. People fall in love online for years before they meet each other. Most of the time the online persona is usually different but they should let the man go and find his own way because life is full of risks and if you don't take any risks, you wont get anywhere.

my wife is white......and im not typing from the grave... there is a general misconception about this issue which amounts to fear mongering...there are just two issues here and ur fear is not one of them..
1.experience/maturity
2. marriage...
these are where your fears should lie

PS , FORGET ABOUT HER COMING TO NIGERIA FIRST... AINT HAPPENIN.......the kidnapping stories have gone too far....the truth is ur brother would have to go there first... and if he decides to, u cannot stop him, so dont force him, support him but make him understand that what he is about steping into may go both ways... depending on the girl.. canadian girls are not as mad(quite chilled) as their american and english cousins(black and white all they crase-and it includes,british nigerians and american nigerians). whatever the Bleep.. all join....lol

berem: I forgot to add that she wants him to come for a visit first before the end of this year. she said she needs a picture of both of them together to prove they are both in a relationship for tourist visa or so. Then after school, he will join her finally.

Another thing i fear is racism. with the way Nigerians are being killed because of white chicks, am really scared.

berem: That's why i need advice. Am not saying he should go just because he yearns for greener pasture. I told the girl to come to Nigeria, but she says the horrible news she reads about Nigeria scares her. though she promised she will come to Nigeria after my brother visits first. she's been to some African countries, so this won't be her first visit to Africa.

Ok let them meet at a neutral ground first if she's scared of naija. I suggest cotonuo or lome

25omega: come on Mrs Chima i know you have cable and you watch catfish on MTV. People fall in love online for years before they meet each other. Most of the time the online persona is usually different but they should let the man go and find his own way because life is full of risks and if you don't take any risks, you wont get anywhere.

I won't force you to vhange your opinions and don't force me to change mine.

You do you.

25omega: see people analyzing another person's future. Let the man go to Canada and see for himself. whats the worst that could happen? they break up they fight etc. which relationship is perfect? weren't we all strangers before we became close?

So your brother finishes his education which by the way won't be honored in canada then what? what has him finishing school have to do with anything? The only bearing finishing school in nigeria has is if he comes back to Nigeria which i'm sure he is not planning to do.

Even if she comes to nigeria and you like her or she shows to be nice and gentle she can still be evil. Basically you never know and hindering someone from pursuing love or opportunity can make them hate you later on.

one last thing, who is buying the ticket for him to go?

You are entitled to your ooinion and judgement so are we.

Don't have a temper tantrum because you disagree with some opinions.

She asked for advice and we gave it to her. It may not be in a manner that YOU would like but that is what make the world fun.

Diffefent strokes for different folks.

I find it odd that she has visited other African countries but she is afraid to come to Nigeria

Smell like bullshit to me.

25omega: see people analyzing another person's future. Let the man go to Canada and see for himself. whats the worst that could happen? they break up they fight etc. which relationship is perfect? weren't we all strangers before we became close?

So your brother finishes his education which by the way won't be honored in canada then what? what has him finishing school have to do with anything? The only bearing finishing school in nigeria has is if he comes back to Nigeria which i'm sure he is not planning to do.

Even if she comes to nigeria and you like her or she shows to be nice and gentle she can still be evil. Basically you never know and hindering someone from pursuing love or opportunity can make them hate you later on.

one last thing, who is buying the ticket for him to go?

The lady is doing everything including the flight ticket. she has volunteered to do it. We think it might be too much for her so we will support too.

@Mrs Chima, thanks for your advice. I appreciate.

Mrs.Chima:
I find it odd that she has visited other African countries but she is afraid to come to Nigeria

Smell like bullshit to me.

yeah, she came to Togo and Botswana for a trip that was organized by her school . Nigeria wasn't included in the countries to visit.

The way it stands, it seem your family decision is final. That's pure tosh! You all should let the young man live his life. The concern should be how he's going to live over there. The lass is 25, she got all privileges but does she work and earn well or will her family pay the bills. 9ja certificate makes no sense there and getting a job isn't that fast, hence, his survival strategy should be settled before leaving. Talking about tourist visa, i think that's the fastest, she could work his permit within the months and i also think she doesn't necessarily need a picture of them together.

Let her present an evidence of an existing relationship and that could be their past chats, facebook msgs or relationship status, they're all allowed at the embassy. Again, i hope she doesn't work any other visa from canada because doing that will make major permits difficult since they directly have his data which indicates that he's getting into the country for the first time. The better way is a tourist route while she finishes other papers within the month esp permanent residency visa.

Don't let your fears affect that dude's relationship. His motive is sincere. Know that all relationships got some trouble. In as much as he's careful (all foreigners do) marrying a white isn't a violation. All the best!

Sounds like she's a catfish...

D-Explorer:
The way it stands, it seem your family decision is final. That's pure tosh! You all should let the young man live his life. The concern should be how he's going to live over there. The lass is 25, she got all privileges but does she work and earn well or will her family pay the bills. 9ja certificate makes no sense there and getting a job isn't that fast, hence, his survival strategy should be settled before leaving. Talking about tourist visa, i think that's the fastest, she could work his permit within the months and i also think she doesn't necessarily need a picture of them together.

Let her present an evidence of an existing relationship and that could be their past chats, facebook msgs or relationship status, they're all allowed at the embassy. Again, i hope she doesn't work any other visa from canada because doing that will make major permits difficult since they directly have his data which indicates that he's getting into the country for the first time. The better way is a tourist route while she finishes other papers within the month esp permanent residency visa.

Don't let your fears affect that dude's relationship. His motive is sincere. Know that all relationships got some trouble. In as much as he's careful (all foreigners do) marrying a white isn't a violation. All the best!

Thanks a lot for your matured advice. I appreciate.

BoboYekini: Sounds like she's a catfish...

How do you mean?

berem: Thanks a lot for your matured advice. I appreciate.

You're welcome berem!

berem: My younger brother met this white girl online for about 5 years now. They have been chatting, calling each other on phone and sending cards. My brother is 23 years and the white girl is 25 years. She's been so close to my family especially my mum and my siblings. I speak to her on phone and chat with her often. My brother has had the opportunity to speak to her family too.

Now what bothers me is that she wants my brother to come over to Canada where she lives. She's a Canadian by the way! My kid brother is still in 300 level in one of the universities in the east. She's been talking to my family to allow my brother come over to Canada. My brother is eager to go over to Canada and probably start a new life.

Everyone in the family seems confused whether to allow him go.
I just need advice because as the first born of the family, my decision is very important.

Dear friends, should my brother be allowed to go to Canada? No insults please!

Let the lady be asked to come visiting here before anything and he must stay here to complete his education before proceeding to Canada.
Canada is ok and pretty very difficult also as most of my friends had to relocate to the US

I'll advise your brother to have some cash (around N500,000) before travelling to Canada. He could hustle in Naija for sometime. At least, the financial burden won't solely be on the lady.

andyanders: Let the lady be asked to come visiting here before anything and he must stay here to complete his education before proceeding to Canada.
Canada is ok and pretty very difficult also as most of my friends had to relocate to the US

Do you have any idea how racism is in Canada?