Dear Nairalanders, i have been wondering what makes one stay in a relationship for three, five or even ten years! Is it really love or other issues like the person has become so accustomed to the relationship and so used to his/her partner's flaws that he/she cannot leave the relationship any more ( after all, they say no human being is perfect) OR he/she does not want to hurt her the other partner by leaving since they have become really close OR he/she is just too apprehensive to start a new relationship as he/she doesn't know what is the offing for her/him in something new, OR he/she thinks he/she's gotten too old to start all over again. Na love or wetin sef Nairalanders? Please tell me.

for me oooooo cant date a guy for more than a year,infact mine was 5 and half months sef,before we tied the knot

anyway its an individual thing

@ topic

Na them know. Sofa they carry their cross!

i guess it kinda of the case of the devil u know

10 years huh? They are waiting for rapture, so that they can marry in heaven

it aint how far but how well. i had a case of a cousin of mine who dated her husband for 10yrs but after marriage she openly confessed to me that she never knew him.forget about the lenght of time, rather focus on the value the relationship has added to you.

tglaz:

it aint how far but how well. i had a case of a cousin of mine who dated her husband for 10yrs but after marriage she openly confessed to me that she never knew him.forget about the lenght of time, rather focus on the value the relationship has added to you.

Are you sure thosee 10 years weren't spent in toasting? Because I can't believe that after 10 years she opens her mouth to say "I had never really known him"!

michelin89:

Are you sure thosee 10 years weren't spent in toasting? Because I can't believe that after 10 years she opens her mouth to say "I had never really known him"!

True talk.

0-1yr - getting to know each other

2yrs - comtemplate if he/she is the one . . more getting to know each other (this where I fall)

3-5yrs - You ain't sure what u really want

10yrs - Are u nuts??

how can u stay with someone for more than 3yrs without no commitment? thats just plain crazy and both partners are dumb!!

buzyDiva:

0-1yr - getting to know each other

2yrs - comtemplate if he/she is the one . . more getting to know each other (this where I fall)

3-5yrs - You ain't sure what u really want

10yrs - Are u nuts??

how can u stay with someone for more than 3yrs without no commitment? thats just plain crazy and both partners are dumb!!

I don't think it's dumbness. It could be other issues, like the guy ain't buoyant enough for marriage. For instance, one of my closest friends dated her guy for 10years, i think they started b/4 the guy began his degree program. Then he finished school and went job searching for about 3years. Guy finally got a job and they got married in december, 2006 after ten years. I always wonder if the guy hadn't got a job till today, will babe have continued waiting, maybe for another ten years making it 20years?

Wokeyim:

I don't think it's dumbness. It could be other issues, like the guy ain't buoyant enough for marriage. For instance, one of my closest friends dated her guy for 10years, i think they started b/for the guy began his degree program. Then he finished school and went job searching for about 3years. Guy finally got a job and they got married in december, 2006 after ten years. I always wonder if the guy hadn't got a job till today, will babe have continued waiting, maybe for another ten years making it 20years?

we ain't talking bout high skool love stories o . . . obviously i don't expect high students to go get hitched

but 10yrs? . . . not me abeg!

Som hearts settle 4 comfort, happiness, wealth nd stuff.

Som hearts wil settle for nothing less than the one they love!

The latter could take: "x" number of years!

The longest i waited was 4 years and I am so glad that I waited that long. It took 4 years for the brotha to confess that he was not the person he was pretending to be. That his moral compass was not like mine and that he needed to come clean.

I cant believe he held up the charade for so long.

God is so good he knew this man was not for me. It took me a year to get over him but i did.

how bout 2 teengers fall in love @ 16 and ten years later they have grown so much in love and fond of each other. thats one of hte best kinda reelationship. iknow

@ buzydiva
i am not talking about high school love stories here. The girl was about 17 and the guy 23 when they met. Now were they children then?

@ sisterwoman
men are WICKED! and can disguise like forever.) I also know someone who dated a man for 5years before she discovered he was married. She felt she had gone too far to break up and thought the man may take her as a 2nd wife. After two extra years, making it seven, she got tired of his continous postings, go - no, marry me now, oh oh?. she sat him down for a real discussion and my guy said he wasn't going to double-up. Babe has been so devasted since then and she's 30years now, besides every one has associated her with this man so where does she start from?

Wokeyim:

men are WICKED!

I wonder why people talk like this! Is it ALL men? Hick!

Check out existing threads at below:

Is 4 Years Too Long For Courtship?
www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-91599.0.html

How Long Should Courtship Last?
www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-921.0.html

Is Dating Someone For 1 Year Too Soon To Get Married?
www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-7591.0.html

If only women would wise up then men wouldn't be able to use us. after 1 yr if the relationship does not have a future please move on. no need putting all your eggs in one basket.