A Prostitute walked into the Delta State drivers license office Asaba to do her driver's license and a consultant started typing her info into the computer. Name, address, date of birth and then he asked her what her occupation is. She boldly stated, "I'm a Prostitute". He told her, "Young Lady, I can't put that in the computer, you will have to come up with something else." "Well, she said, "I don't know what to tell you except that I'm a Prostitute." "Listen lady you really have to come up with something else or we can't go on." She thought for a minute and said, "Okay, I'm a chicken farmer." He retorted, "Chicken farmer? What makes you think you are a chicken farmer?" "Well," she said, "LAST YEAR I RAISED OVER 1,000 COCKS". http://www.njuwo.com/2016/03/see-prostitute-who-is-not-ashame-of-her.html?m=1

Oh my God. What is Timaya thinking in this picture that he neglected drinking coke?
http://www.njuwo.com/2016/03/picture-of-timaya-when-he-was-little-boy.html?m=1

A woman pregnant with triplets was walking down the street when a masked robber ran out of a bank and shot her three times in the stomach. Luckily the babies were Okay.
The surgeon decided to leave the bullets in because it was too risky to operate.

She gave birth to two healthy daughters and a healthy son.
All was fine for sixteen years, and then one daughter walked into the room in tears. "What's wrong?" asked the mother. "I was taking a pee and this bullet came out," replied the daughter. The mother told her it was okay and explained what happened sixteen years ago.
About a week later the second daughter walked into the room in tears. "Mum, I was taking a pee and this bullet came out." Again the mother told her not to worry and explained what happened sixteen years ago.

A week later her son walked into the room in tears. "It's okay". said the Mum, "I know what happened. You were taking a pee and a bullet came out. ' 'No,' said the boy, "I was playing with myself and I shot the dog." http://www.njuwo.com/2016/03/boy-accidentally-shot-dog-with-his.html?m=1

NYSC (Now Your Suffering Continues) Episode 2


As Bianule was coming out of the house the next morning, his phone rang. He stopped and reached for it in his pocket. He stared at the screen. "Hmm! LLD, my love." he murmured and answered the call. It was Tricia, his girlfriend. "Hahahahaha!!Bianu my love, guess what? I've checked my posting, and it's Maiduguri." She said laughing. "What? And you are happy?" he asked in shock. "Of course! Why wouldn't I? Isn't that what I've been praying for? I've heard about life in Maiduguri too much and need to experience it, and here is my chance." She said. "This girl, what is wrong with you, are you possesed? Here I was praying for me not to be posted to the north especially Maiduguri and paradventurely I was posted to the north, Sokoto in particular and not Maiduguri, and I thanked God. And now you call to tell me that you've been posted to Maiduguri itself. Well, It's all okay, but you wouldn't be going o?" asked Bianule. "Why wouldn't I be going? Do you want to join the bandwagon with my parents in stopping me? That is the last thing I think you would do. I called you to congratulate me and not scold me. Am I the one that compiled the lists for Maiduguri? If it's about death, I trust God, he will see me through, death don't scare me one bit, cause one that trust and communicates regularly with Jehovah God is above untimely death." Tricia said. "Okay, okay! So where are you?" "I'm at home." She replied. "I'm coming to see you right away let's talk this over". He said. "My parents are around. Don't worry, I'll come and see you in the afternoon. Shey you will be at home?". She asked. "Who wouldn't be at home for his LLD (Lovey Lovey Darling)?". He retorted. "I trust you would. Take care of yourself love, till then." She said. "Alright LLD!". The call cuts. Bianule said to himself, "When I thought mine was overboard. Not knowing hers was the one overboard. She's not going to go. I wouldn't allow that. Just because my mother is afraid to lose me doesn't mean I shouldn't be afraid of losing my girlfriend."

Stay tuned! Episode 3 on the way.
http://www.njuwo.com/2016/03/nysc-now-your-suffering-continues_3.html?m=1

As a butcher from Nigeria in London saw a dog in front of his shop, he saw 10 pound and a note in his mouth that read, "10 pound meat, please." Amazed, he took the money, put 10 pound meat in the dog's mouth, and quickly closed his shop.
He followed the dog and watched him wait for a green light, looked both ways, and trot across the road to a bus stop. The dog stood waiting. When a bus arrived, he walked around to the front and noticed the destination, then boarded the bus. The butcher followed, dumbstruck.
As the bus travels out into the suburbs, the dog took in the scenery. After a while he stood on his back paws to push the "stop" button, then the butcher followed him off. The dog ran up to a house and dropped his bag on the stoop. He went back down the path, took a big run, and threw himself -Whap!- against the door. He does this again and again. No answer. So he jumped on a wall, walked around the garden, beats his head against a window, jumped off, and waited at the front door. A big guy opened it and started cursing and pummeling the dog. The butcher ran up, screaming at the guy, "What the hell are you doing? This dog is a genius!" The owner responded, "Genius my ass. IT'S THE SECOND TIME THIS WEEK HE HAS FORGOTTEN HIS KEY!". http://www.njuwo.com/2016/03/the-dog-that-acts-like-humans.html?m=1

Fire on Thursday evening gutted an MRS filling station and two buildings in Lawanson, Surulere Local Government Area, Lagos. The fire destroyed two houses and few shops before the arrival of men of the Lagos State Fire Service.
One of the houses, a storey building beside the filling station, was completely burnt down. Johnson Okorie, a phone operator in the area, told njuwo that the tanker was discharging petrol in the filling station around 5p.m when it exploded and started the fire. “"I was attending to a customer then but I did not know how the man disappeared till this moment.
"

njuwo reports that fire fighters were seen at the scene battling to put out the fire as at 6.30 p.m and learnt that survivors
who didn't burn to death
are struggling to accept
the devastating loss of so
much fuel.

http://www.njuwo.com/2016/03/survivors-of-filling-station-explosion.html?m=1

"Okay, if you are sure, then I can eat." Ofego said and picked up the spoon, dipped it into the food, took a little and raised it up, placing the spoon in front of his mouth and about to eat. But he asked, "Are you sure that you are sure that there is no poison inside this food, because after God, I fear girls o." "What is wrong with you sef Ofego, give me jor, why will I poison you, my love." She collected the spoon from him and ate the beans. "You are now safe abi, eat your food jor. I'm not only safe but now with peace of mind to eat this food jeje." Ofego retorted. "It is you that will kill your own self." Lovingtime said.


After eating, Lovingtime washed the plate and pot and was about leaving. It's getting late and I'm leaving, my parents will be worried by now!" She said. Are you a baby that they will be worried? Ofego shouted. "Yes, I'm a baby, to you, come and give me leg jor." She said. "I would have given you something to give to your sister o." Ofego said. "Something like what?" She asked. "A letter of acceptance!" Ofego said. "Acceptance of what?" She asked, curious. "Acceptance of friendship." "She wrote me a letter of friendship that she wants to be my friend, so, I want to reply her with a letter of acceptance." Ofego said. "You are mad, I say you are very mad. You are dating me, you are not satisfied, you still have it in mind to have my sister. What is wrong with you Ofego, is this how you were born, being wicked on weekends?" "No o, this not how I was born o. This is how I was baptised." Ofego said. "You better stop this, I don't like it. Stop having my sister in mind." She said. "Okay, I have stopped. When you get home tell her to stop having me in mind cause I'm trying hard not to fall so that I will not hurt you again." Ofego said. "Come and give me leg jare!". She said.
Ofego got up and said, "Take leg!" Stretching one of his legs. "Don't be silly Ofego. I mean come and escort me." She explained. "Okay, but take the leg, let the leg escort you. Only the leg will come back to me." Ofego said. "No, I want you to escort me." she said dragging him up.

As Ofego was escorting her home on the road, she said, "Ofego, for the first time since we started dating, I've been to your house. When are you coming to mine, I mean my house and not my gate that you've been times without number?". "You mean your Parents house actually." Ofego corrected. "Which ever way." She asked, "So when are you coming?".It's so soon na". He complained. "What is so soon?" She asked. The return leg. You know, when a football team goes to play away. And the away team wants to come to the team's home for the return leg, it takes time, so that they will plan well before coming, in order not to lose. Allow me to strategise before returning this visit." Ofego said. "What do you want to strategise, and what do you not want to lose." She asked. "I want to strategise on building this relationship to a marriage level, and I don't want to lose you in the process." Ofego said. "That's thoughtful of you sha, but you won't be need to do all that because I'm all yours till Jesus comes. Anyway, I would like you to come keep me company at my parents house next saturday." She said. "What about your parents, and your sister Maryjane? Am I coming to keep all of you company?". Ofego asked, surprised. "No o, only me. They will all be going to vote that day, you know there will be elections that day, Governorship and the rest, and I don't have voter's card. So I will be staying at home all alone." "Wow! I must be there live and direct, what time?" He asked. "8am till 2pm." She replied. "Enough enjoyment that day". Ofego thought.


The following saturday, he visited Lovingtime at their house, she was home alone. Ofego arrived as her parents and sister were just leaving for the election ground.

They played cards, ludo game, snapped pictures, ate indomie, watched telemundo. As they were watching, NEPA took the light, and they sat alone in the parlour. Around 1:50p.m Lovingtime started saying, "Ofego, my parents and sister will soon be back o. My parents and sister will soon be back o." She said this continuously. Ofego said, "But I'm not doing anything na?" She answered, "That is why I want you to start doing something o."

Episode 15 coming up next.
http://www.njuwo.com/2016/03/being-wicked-on-weekends-episode-14.html?m=1

A man bumped into a woman in an hotel lobby and as he did, his elbow went into her breast. They were both quite startled. The man turned to her and said, "Ma, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you will forgive me."
She replied, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 202."
http://www.njuwo.com/2016/03/see-what-woman-said-to-man-in-hotel.html?m=1

Two lawyers went into Sheraton hotel and ordered two drinks. Then they produced roasted plantain from their briefcases and started to eat. The waiter became quite concerned and marched over and told them, "You can't eat your own plantain in here!". The lawyers looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged plantains. http://www.njuwo.com/2016/03/what-two-lawyers-did-in-sheraton-hotel.html?m=1

"Chineke! Oh my God they are here already!" Ofego cried, and ran out, running home. "They are not here, where are you running to?" Lovingtime screamed after him. "I'm running to my house!" Ofego replied. "Foolish boy". Lovingtime breath.

The next time they saw each other again was in the evening two sundays after. Lovingtime came outside to get recharge cards for her Dad at the Mallam's kiosk in the estate. "Ofego!" She called. "What are you doing here?" He was sitting down on a bench with a man who was smoking cigarrete. "I accompanied my neighbour to come and smoke cigarrete." Ofego replied pointing to the man who sat beside him, smoking. "You tried. You deserve an AMAA award for forgetting I existed ever since that day I invited you over to our house." Lovingtime said. "Lovingtime, it's not like that. I've been busy." Ofego explained. "Yes, you've been busy accompanying your neighbour to come and smoke cigarrete here, abi?" Lovingtime queried. "No na, it's not like that, you wouldn't understand." Ofego answered. "Mallam, give me recharge card." Lovingtime said. "Fine girl no pimple, which one?" The Mallam asked. MTN, 1,500 Naira." she said. "Wouldn't you buy for me?" Ofego asked. "Have you ever bought for me?" She queried. "But I've taken you out to flex you na." Ofego said. "All those your local flexing." Lovingtime said. The Mallam gave her the card and she handed him the money. "Have I not taken you out for an international flexing before?" Ofego asked. "No, you've not, and I don't think you can, ever. Anyway, the card is for my Dad. Let me go, before he starts looking for me." She said, and was about leaving. "You have challenged me Lovingtime, don't worry, I will take you out on an international flexing this coming saturday." Ofego assured. "That is what you say, but end up taking me to a Mama Put Joint, where local gin is their juice and pounded yam is their snacks. I'm going home jor." She said. "Let me accompany you. Neighbour, I'm coming!" Ofego said. "Okay!" The Neighbour replied and said, "Ofego when you have used and dump this one, leave her for me o, let me start from where you stop!". Ofego looked at him and said to Lovingtime, "Don't mind him, It is the cigarrete that is talking." "Are you sure he's okay?" Lovingtime asked, feeling concerned. "He's not. He's my neighbour." Ofego replied.

Episode 16 on the way.
http://www.njuwo.com/2016/03/being-wicked-on-weekends-episode-15.html?m=1

Three Easy Ways to Die: Take a Cigar daily - You will die 10 years early. Drink Rum daily - You will die 30 years early. Love Someone Truly. You will die daily.
A foolish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man tells her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED.
Three FASTEST means of Communication:

1. Tele-Phone.
2. Tele-Vision.

3. Tell-A-Woman . If You want it FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANYONE.
Love your friends, not their sisters. Love your sisters, not their friends.
Let us be generous like this: Four Ants were moving through a forest. They saw an ELEPHANT coming towards them.

Ant 1 said, "We should KILL him. "
Ant 2 said, "No, Let us break his Leg alone.

Ant 3 said, "No, let's just throw him away from our path."
Ant 4 said, "No, we will LEAVE him, because, he is ALONE, and we are FOUR.
If you do NOT have a GirlFriend - You are missing SOME thing in your life. If you HAVE a GirlFriend - You are missing EVERY thing in your life.
When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY to GOD and ask him to free you from Darkness. After you have prayed, If are still in Darkness - Please PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL. http://www.njuwo.com/2016/03/you-need-to-see-this.html?m=1

An 80-year-old man asked his
wife, "Do you feel sad when you
see me running
behind young girls?". The
wife replied, "NO, NOT AT ALL, EVEN DOGS CHASE CARS BUT THEY CAN'T DRIVE IT". http://www.njuwo.com/2016/03/the-epic-reply-old-woman-gave-to-her-80.html?m=1

Why, is that, Judas is refusing to betray Jesus this year. He claims that 30 pieces of silver is too small due to the current economy situation and high rate of US dollar. He is demanding <!--more--> 100% increment on the amount. Negotiations are still on going. You are hereby advised to free your cows, goats, turkeys and chickens awaiting crucifixion during the Easter season, pending when he will receive alert from his bank. Judas and his entire family duly apologize for the inconveniences caused. http://www.njuwo.com/2016/03/easter-might-be-postpone-cause-of-this.html?m=1

Dear P.Square, I want to
ask, "WHY E BE SAY" you guys
want to split after all these
years? Cause you guys seem to
have forgotten that there
is NO ONE LIKE YOU in Africa, and you also forgot
that God used IFUNANYA
to make it a
POSSIBILITY for you guys
to be UNLIMITED
today. I feel so bad over your latest STORY cause I LOVE YOU and I urge you
to deal with your present
situation PERSONALLY and do not let your BEAUTIFUL ONYINYE's make you separate. Don't
forget that they are only
there to CHOP YOUR
MONEY.

I know that E
NO EASY but you guys
should try not to get involved in any BIZZY
BODY because, it will only
lead to more DANGER
in your carreer, there will be more TEMPTATION and if you fall for it your
fans will no longer be able to dance ALINGO
again. Settle the problems yo
u guys are having, cause e
get as e dey DO ME
anytime I hear say you guys
want to GET SQUARED. I also heard you
brought OGA POLICE in
to the matter. I want you
guys to be MORE THAN A
FRIEND to avoid any ROLL IT that will lead to GAME OVER. We
are hoping to hear your TESTIMONY soon.

http://www.njuwo.com/2016/03/open-letter-to-psquare-on-their-recent.html?m=1

Nice New hairy Armpits Fashion, Love it , for independant woman. How you like this guys ?
http://www.smstv.org/fotogalerija/fotogalerija/369

Lady Caught Sleeping In Church And Disgraced > http://www.njuwo.com/2014/12/lady-caught-sleeping-in-church-and.html?m=1

Warri Ofego Episode 1 > http://www.njuwo.com/2014/09/warri-ofego-episode-one.html?m=1

Evil Comedian Episode 1 > http://www.njuwo.com/2014/10/evil-comedian-episode-1.html?m=1

Ridiculous Names Of Churches In Warri > http://www.njuwo.com/2014/10/ridiculous-names-of-churches-in-warri.html?m=1

Devilish Comedian (The Sequel To Evil Comedian) Episode 9 > http://www.njuwo.com/2016/03/devilish-comedian-sequel-to-evil_7.html?m=1

Find Out The Meaning Of These Words > http://www.njuwo.com/2016/03/find-out-meaning-of-these-words-they.html?m=1

The Proof That Warri People Are The Wisest In Nigeria >
http://www.njuwo.com/2014/10/the-proof-that-warri-people-are-wisest.html#more

Video: How To Attend A Blind Date > http://www.njuwo.com/2016/03/video-how-to-attend-blind-date.html#more

NYSC (Now Your Suffering Continues) Episode 3
>
http://www.njuwo.com/2016/03/nysc-now-your-suffering-continues_8.html#more

See What This Pastor Did In A Funeral > http://www.njuwo.com/2016/03/see-what-this-pastor-did-in-funeral.html#more

Devilish Comedian Episode 10

>

"Otega, I'm tired of all these." Said Angel barging into her son's room. An earpiece was on his ears. He removed it and asked, "Mummy what are you saying?" "Your sister called me that your first semester exams is starting next week and you are at home." Angel said. "And so what mummy? I'm I not free to be at home?" He asked. "Otega, you are a fool! Do you know that you are tampering with your future?" She asked. Mummy let me tamper with it. It is my future and not your own. In . . Read more > http://www.njuwo.com/2016/03/devilish-comedian-episode-10.html#more

How A Man Got To Know He Had Just Married A Prostitute On Their Honeymoon

>
A man took his wife to a hotel for honeymoon after their wedding. The lady who had been claiming to be holy before their wedding suprised him as they approach ed the hotel staircase. "Darlingwhich room did you pay for?". She asked. "Room 42". The man replied. "Oh! The lady bursted out. The last time I . . Read more > http://www.njuwo.com/2016/03/how-man-got-to-know-he-had-married.html#more

See The Shocking Thing A Comedian Did To A Young Lady

>
Hello Everyone, Mc Wazobia Steals My Video On alopecia, Edits It As A Comedy Skit & Releases It Online Please grant me a listening ear and help me use your online channel to expose this issue.
Introduction: My name is Jasmine Oguns. I have suffered from a disease called alopecia for the last ten years of my life. If you are reading this and you do not know what alopecia is, I will . . Read more > http://www.njuwo.com/2016/03/see-shocking-thing-comedian-did-to.html#more

What You Must Know About Marriage Before Getting Into It

>
You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead. At a get together party, one woman said to another, "Aren't youwearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The woman replied, "Yes, I married the wrong man."
A lady published an AD on a newspaper: "Husband Wanted". The next day she . . Read more > http://www.njuwo.com/2016/03/what-you-must-know-about-marriage.html#more