Lolzz. . . .hilarious thread

"I love u" jst gat to say it sumtyms cos u can't say otherwise.

Have never lied b4.....

I miss u

"i love u" jst gat to say it sumtym cos u cant say otherwise

1. How old are you?
2010 Answer: Am 18yo
2011 Answer: Am 17yo
2012 Answer: Am 18yo
2013 Answer: I would be 18 next month.

*Nigerian celebrity, football players, politicians and some girls*

g.friend : phemmy where are u going

me: am coming (whereas am still going)

In a game centre n sum1 calls, guy abeg call me baq I dey market..

I have never masturbated in my life.
I came tops in my class (parents)
I dont eat draw soup (but u dey blow ur guy job, ladies)
Bale is worth 100 million pounds.
The lord told me that... ( how u take know say na God and not ur conscience)
I started from the choir ( Nigerian artist, even terry gzuz or shay na lucifer Lol...)

"I dnt tink i've lied b4" and 'hav u read terms and conditions?-YES...are u 18 or older? YES...bt y i no dy fp na?

I've been single for 7 months

I lost my phone and couldn't backup all the contacts

I can't even remember having sex with her, I was kinda tipsy

I'm on my way

Stuck in the traffic " yea indoor traffic trying settle the side chick"

I missed your call " yea but I was starring at it while it rings" pressing the silent button


Flat tire on freeway. Waiting on AAA road side assistance

She's my cousin

I'm hanging out with homeboys

I slept over at my parent or Jake's

Question: What are your turn-offs?
Answer: {ladies} Lies, dishonesty, irresponsibility.


Shut up biatch!! You're the reference object when it comes to these qualities!

Don't come 2day, i wouldn't be at home. ( meanwhile you dey expect another girl to come)

i am looking for a serious relationship, am sick and tired of games ( meanwhile na you be game master)

You know i would never lie to you. ( even that statement itself na lie)

Am dead broke, i dont even have one kobo with me here. ( Haba, wetin happen, you be Job for bible?)

We are very close, she is just like a sister or brother to me ( Yea Right, indeed.)

Boss: Why are you late?

Employee: Sorry sir, I was held up by traffick. (abi u oversleep )

People who start sentences with 'to be honest' or honesty. I always count them as liars.

Baverly osu is a diamond..

Guy: Hey are you ok? What's wrong
Girl: Oh nothing, I'm fine.


*Breaking up a relationship*
Girl: It's not you, it's me.


Guy: Mehn i knack this gehl eh (hehe you prolly spilled just at the sight of her tits )


Size doesn't matter


I love sharwarma (ladies oo, even if na d first time you dey chop am)

I understand how you feel(do you)

lol(did you really laff out loud?)

No your bum doesn't look big in that dress.

"Hi, I was not with my phone when you called earlier" After the phone don ring tire.

uj_sizzle:

No your bum doesn't look big in that dress.

Nowadays, we make sure the bum looks big in the dress. Who wants a pancakey bum?

The most annoying lie I see on NL ( s.exuality section) those guys claiming to have 12+inches penis. Bunch of fat lieing bastards trying to toy with my complex

U didn't get my text?! Haba!! You are d 3rd person saying this oº°˚!! Maybe its d network..

Meanwhile I didn't send any text oº°˚!!

druid06: If you've read the terms and agreement, click YES...

Clicks YES..

If you're 18 and above, Continue...

Clicks Continue.

Damn to come up with this, you really gat degree in lies.. though am close too..

'Brb' to those who won't stop disturbin me wit pings

'I was just abt to call u'

Anything I say dat start with 'seriously' is also most likely to b a lie

'All is well my bro/sis'

For chewing gums"This is the last piece... "

sent from my ipad (whearas you are in an internet cafe)
facebook status update: chilling with my guys in a chinese restaurant (u dey for mama put!)

we are on top the situation (even when ASUU strike reaches 9wks oga Jona e beru Olorun o!)

I love you too...I try to avoid that lie but I cant help it.

"I was never fani-kayode's gf"

'I love you' and 'I love you too'...I have been telling this lie everyday since the past 10 months and will still tell it this nite before I sleep. The babe no be am at all, she wan use lie give me belle.

end time tins