About a week ago, a close buddy of mine
tied the nuptial knot. It was a colourful
ceremony and my friend was overjoyed that
the day had finally come. As one of his
groom's men, it was natural that I had to
donate efforts to ensure that the day was
a success.
One of the tasks I was saddled with was to
give the toast at the reception. Given that
we both shared apathy for the opposite sex
for a reasonable while, I was thus in the
know when the relationship started. What
was shut out of my knowledge was the blow
by blow account of how the relationship was
initiated. By the time I debriefed him of
the genesis of the relationship to prepare
me for the toast, it was apparently a union
activated by the tools that have come to
define our time.
It was a relationship primarily cooked in the
crucible of the social media. The 'business'
of transacting relationships have changed in
a great deal. For both the timid and the
brave, the platform has been levelled -
because of the relative ease with which
contacts are now made and such contacts
are sustained on social media. For the timid
ones, social networks are a huge relief. And
for the bold, social media means providing
more options to exercise the gallantry that
comes with wooing a lady, especially when
the overtures are not hitting the right
chord with her.
My friend, decent and brainy, met a lady on
one of Nigeria's most prominent fora -
nairaland.com about three years ago. Their
mutual interests would see them sustain
the friendship till date. They took it off
nairaland.com and exchanged Blackberry's
Personal Identification Number (PIN) and,
with that, it was easier to say 'Hello'
every now and then. Somewhere along the
line, the lady who would later say 'I do' to
my friend was used as a digital profile (DP)
by my friend's friend.
Curiosity would lead my friend to inquire
about the identity of the 'DPed lady.' It
turned out that both of them work in the
same organisation in Lagos. My friend,
apparently disposed to being in a
relationship, was willing to strike
acquaintance with her. The introduction was
made; of course, still using the instant
messaging facility of Blackberry. Gradually,
they were finding common grounds after
intense pings and were becoming enamoured
of each other.
They agreed to meet and see each other
physically. My bet is that they both loved
what they saw and the new media form of
mobile phone communication took over,
given the little time that work pressure
and demands permitted. On a number of
instances whenever I'm at his place, my
friend would come in with his phone glued to
his ears, say a brief 'Hello' and continue
the discussion for hours with the lady, who
later became his wife two weekends ago.
After giving me the gist, I teased him
about his method. But it also struck an
adventurous note in me. Research today
holds that the third most common way to
find a partner next to meeting through
friends and in public places is the use of
communication technologies. Before now, it
strictly took having a network of friends in
various social groups to meet someone one
would eventually consider dating. Way
before then, at least in this part of the
world, it was parents who bore the task of
using their social networks to seek for
someone befitting for their daughters or
sons.
The false sense of intimacy that a network
like Facebook will allow for with a total
stranger is an ideal solution for an
introvert. The only challenge will be how to
sustain such when eventually it's time to
transit to a face to face status. There are
instances of very humorous people on
Facebook, turning humourless when one
meets them in the real world. Meaning the
online personality is different from the
offline capacity! This is the part anyone
willing to have a relationship on the social
media wings would have to sort out - letting
the potential partner know the real you
before meeting so that hopes are not
dashed.
When it comes to the formation,
sustenance and even dissolution of
relationships, the role of social networks is
a central one. We find a potential mate and
we stalk the person online by checking his
or her comments and when last a status
was updated. There is also that public
display of affection on Twitter et al that
some prefer while others will prefer to
keep their relationship off social networks.
The digital togetherness these platforms
provide for couples, especially those in
long-distance relationships, is rich enough
to lubricate the relationship. Those days
when long-distance relationships were
endangered are gone.
There are instant messaging options – live
video chats with Skype is possible; there is
also free phone chat using Viber; pictures
can also be shared with each other as post
cards using Postagram. The couple can also
play video games like star war and chess
together while online, they can also use
Google hangout to watch live Youtube
content together on different screen,
amongst others.
Yes, we find love in strange places and
social networks are now one of such. And
when relationships are broken, we block,
'unfriend' or 'unfollow' one another other
even though the entanglement makes it
nearly impossible to totally part ways
because of our mutual friends.
There will soon be a new generation that
will know nothing of how difficult it once
was to woo a lady, given the social media
assistance there are now.
It was an elated me that went ahead to
deliver the toast to the friends and family
members present at the ceremony. I recall
toasting to friendship and to the connecting
power of the social media. The verdict by
another mischievous mutual friend of ours
present at the event was that I had
offered a power point presentation in lieu
of a toast! I am not sure of what to think
until I see the video! Meanwhile, here's
wishing the couple a blissful married life.
Source: http://www.punchng.com/i-punch/dear-
facebook-i-am-in-love/