My finance took me to a gathering with several couples there and none of the Nigerian women would talk to me. I dont understand if i did something to offend them. The guys were warm to me but I received a very cold shoulder from the women.

The only person that talked to me the whole night were two American girls.

Some people don't know how to mingle with people they are unfamiliar with.

I think they are of the mindeset that you stole their man, (you should stick to you own) kind of thing. Personally I believe once you live away from your origin, anything goes, anyone is fair game,

so there is still hope the more events i go to right?  The way they treated me almost made me not want to go again.  Should I have talked to my future husband about this?

You probably need to learn how to "gist" like a Naija woman , ask your fiance to teach you

How can you learn to gist like Naija women It's not like it's something you pick up as you go along.

@Sistawoman, I guess it depens on your husband's mentality. If he is easygoing openminded, I would mention it and that way he will not leave you by yourself when you are in such situations. I guess it also depends on the women at these gatherings.

People who are "passing through the country" would probably not be open to mixing whilst people that allow the country to pass through them will be open to new experiences.

I think that is key

I think a similar thing happens in a predominantly black club if you see a white woman with a brotha (a decent one at that) and you see the hostility. I'm sure the same can be said other people or cultures.

sistawoman:

My finance took me to a gathering with several couples there and none of the Nigerian women would talk to me. I don't understand if i did something to offend them. The guys were warm to me but I received a very cold shoulder from the women.

The only person that talked to me the whole night were two American girls.

did you talk to them?
They may also be wondering why you weren't talking.
Someone says probably because you stole their man
that's nonsense !
Nigerian women don't stress out a bit because a naija man is walking away with a white woman or African American.
_{If we wanted him,we know exactly what to do}

@osisi:

did you talk to them?
They may also be wondering why you weren't talking.
Someone says probably because you stole their man
that's nonsense !
Nigerian women don't stress out a bit because a naija man is walking away with a white woman or African American.
_{If we wanted him,we know exactly what to do}

I did try to talk to them but they were very short with thier answers and quickly turned away from me. They spoke in thier native tounge most of the night and one of the other girls there told me that she was surprised when she learned of his engagement because he was quite the batchlor and quite the catch.

proo212:

@Sistawoman, I guess it depens on your husband's mentality. If he is easygoing openminded, I would mention it and that way he will not leave you by yourself when you are in such situations. I guess it also depends on the women at these gatherings.

People who are "passing through the country" would probably not be open to mixing whilst people that allow the country to pass through them will be open to new experiences.

I think that is key

I think a similar thing happens in a predominantly black club if you see a white woman with a brotha (a decent one at that) and you see the hostility. I'm sure the same can be said other people or cultures.

He is very openminded and attentive to my needs and my feelings. So when he comes over tonight I will talk to him about how I felt.
I understand the hostility that white women feel when with a brotha, cuz i thow that hostility toward them, but I did not expect that from my own kind.

sistawoman:

I understand the hostility that white women feel when with a brotha, because i thow that hostility toward them, but I did not expect that from my own kind.

isnt it hypocrisy to be complaining then or is hostility ok simply because the other woman happens to be white? She's human too you know.

4 Him:

isnt it hypocrisy to be complaining then or is hostility ok simply because the other woman happens to be white? She's human too you know.

I understand the hypocrisy in my statement and the way i was treated last night has caused me to re-evaluate how I will treat them in the future.

Question??

could it be that i am high yellow? I know here in the states there is some dislike among women of different shades of black, is this also true in Nigeria?

sistawoman:

Question??

could it be that i am high yellow? I know here in the states there is some dislike among women of different shades of black, is this also true in Nigeria?

Maybe in the states, in Nigeria no one bothers what shade of color you are. High yellow, ebony black, brown, caramel . . . the most important thing is YOU.
Blacks in the US do have issues with color shades primarily due to their long experience with racism . . .

sistawoman:

Question??

could it be that i am high yellow? I know here in the states there is some dislike among women of different shades of black, is this also true in Nigeria?

Like 4 him said,not at all
amongst Igbos we have women yellower than high yellow.

Which one be high yellow?

Sistawoman, sure, depending on what event you attend you might encounter a crowd that's more receptive; however, you should not automatically expect a reaction any different from the one you experienced on that day.

Those are the twigs that come along with dating someone outside of your own world.  There tends to be some sort of animosity.  Eventually, as they get to know you more, they may become fond of you and actually like you, or they simply just continue to loathe your presence. It's life, deal with it.

@ stillwater my dear,I learnt that one today.
How about those of us that are low black abi high brown?
Skin color is not something Nigerians care that much about.

@ post

perhaps u r being overly sensitive. . . .

ever considered it probably had nothin to do with the fact that they are nigerian?

@post
I gotta agree o. . . some naija women got that attitude. . . they creep me out

but I dnt think it's cuz of skin color. . . maybe it's cuz you're not nigerian

4Her:

@post
but I dnt think it's because of skin color. . . maybe it's because you're not nigerian

I think that part is obvious. The Original Poster is just pretending.

BTw. . . she's not nigerian, right?

@poster,

i thought your a nigerian

you guys remember this was at a party
who goes talking to " strange women " at random in a party?
That's why I don't go when I won't know anyone coming.

Naija party is worst than any insult
they act nice to you and smile at you
larra on. . .they'll insult you behind your back and gossip. . .

naija women. . we try sha

4Her:

Naija party is worst than any insult
they act nice to you and smile at you
larra on. . .they'll insult you behind your back and gossip. . .

naija women. . we try sha

, i'm glad u sef even know

studio43:

, i'm glad u sef even know

naija men are no berra. . . dnt let me even get started on you guyz

Pls u guys shd leave Naija women alone. . .

Sometimes they themselves are afraid of rejection and that is why they stick with each other. . .

Nigerians generally are very proud but sometimes its just a minor case of inferiority complex

@osisi:

you guys remember this was at aparty?
who goes talking to " strange women " at random in a party?
That's why I don't go when I won't know anyone coming.

Excellent point. Maybe they acted "cold" because they dont know you at all. The average Nigerian tends to avoid pple they dont really know. Men do sometimes try to act cool and make you feel welcome, dont expect the naija woman to do so until she knows you very well . . . u'd be surprised how nice they could be . . . up to the point of becoming a nuisance.

I don't see anything these women did wrong.
did she know them  NO
did they know her   NO

Personally the most I say to a stranger at a party is hello and I move on.
I don't go striking off a conversation and taking bathroom trips with someone I don't know.
If she went to a party anywhere and didn't know anyone there, I'm sure it won't be any different.

i think she just needed to whine about something. Maybe she's still PMsing.

4 Him:

Excellent point. Maybe they acted "cold" because they don't know you at all. The average Nigerian tends to avoid people they don't really know. Men do sometimes try to act cool and make you feel welcome, don't expect the naija woman to do so until she knows you very well . . . u'd be surprised how nice they could be . . . up to the point of becoming a nuisance.

what do you mean by that rider?
It's not as though we can borrow okporoko and ukazi from her

Lmao

4 Him:

i think she just needed to whine about something. Maybe she's still PMsing.

Na wa for you .

David don't be so harsh

I do agree you were maybe expecting a little too much from the women - especially if they are having a 'parapo' (speaking mother tongue )moment. As you begin to know them more, you'll likely gain acceptance. It seems you went there and felt it was because you were foreign that you were ignored - its more likely due to the fact that you are not known to them or were yourself feeling a little apprehensive of being left out.