I have this problem which i don't know how best to solve, so please fellow nairalanders i need ur sincere advice on this one please. There's this girl that has faleen head over heels for me, the problem is i have a girlfriend of over 6yrs whom i love so dearly. Now, this new girl according to her don't give a rat's ass about that fact so long as (her word) i spare a little time for her. I don't want to do anything that would hurt my girl because on my own i know that God will punish me if i should hurt her in anyway cos she's been thhe best thing that has ever happened to me. On the other hand, i have tried in all the ways i felt were mature to dissuade this other new girl but she won't be bugged. She calls me at odd times telling me much she misses me (she's in school right now) and at times she cries when i try to give her reasons why i can't go out with her, this is despite the fact that she knows my girl so well. I've gone ahead to barr her number on my phone but whossai, she calls me with different numbers all the time. This has been going on for quite a while now, i've tried all the tricks i could employ without seriously hurting her but to no avail and my plan now is to become harsh, nasty and so unfriendly but i don't know how to go about it cos she's been my friend for a while before all these dramas started, but she's obsessed with me and i am scared shitless. Please help me out.

sorry but r u sure [b]YOU ARE A MAN?[/b]cos if u r one u should know how to tell a girl to back off

Tell her like this:

If u dont respect the fact that i have a girlfriend, then u do not respect my happiness or that of a woman like yourself. . . I will have nothing to do with your sort!

She will feel insulted, but in truth - you have only been straight with her

I think you want to eat ur cake and have it 2. stick to ya girl!!!

kkk

@ poster

something similar happened to me, so d best shot is simply to ignore her, regardless of how much she unsettles u.
yes, she may continue to pester u, but u ignoring will soon make her realise dat she is only makin a fool of herself.
dat way u will still have ur integrity.

oh just grow up already. you cant expect to please everyone. you gonna have to be cut throat on this one and be straight up with this pyscho and tell her you are not interested. yeah there is a possibility that she might cry well that is a chance you are going to have to take. she might be your close friend but if you keep her as a friend, just start kissing your relationship goodbye.

Every attraction come with a focal point.

It is like flies and honey. Kill dozen of them, and they still return. But take away the honey, and you won't need to lift the broom.

My advice is: apply the above wisdom. Find out what she like in you and why she is attracted to you. Then remove it. Also do what the guy up here said, ignores her. When she found that you have changed, toward her, she would sulk and leave you alone. Also, show off your girl at every opportunity. Envy, jealousy would keep her away.

Brother poster, as a man like you or that most likely have been where you are, I think you are still deceiving yourself a great deal. Did I hear you say you are a man? Is she feeding you? Even a woman doesn't find it so hard to send a man off her back if she's not interested in any way. You better tell us wetin she dey take blackmail you. If she's not blackmailing you, then go to your room, drop your pants and check if you still have a dick.

Abeg tell her you are not interested. By the way what does she want from you? If na short term affair, simply tell her in plain language to get off your case. If she wants a long term relationship, then ask her how she will feel if, 6 years down the line, you tell her that another girl wants you to dump her for some fresher honey pot. If she tell you that it does not matter, then you can be sure that the only reason it does not matter to her is because she knows she would have dropped your ass long before then. Make your choice now. Love is not always about being desperate about what you want.

I sincerely thank u guys for ur advice especially onyinye2 and chaircover. Chaircover, u sounded so much like a person full of wisdom and one who will be good with counselling in the affairs of relationships. Again u made to realise that in truth i might have led her on from the onset, but thanks for ur sincere advice with which i feel i can use to put a stop to this mess. Thanks all.

@poster

I think you should talk things over with her _{not in private} and she how she will react. I believe she will understand the fact that 6years of relationship is not a joke. Also ask her if she is your girlfriends shoe and someone else wants to destroy their relationship?.

B