$ugardaddy:


Mind you, I apologized to my MIL too after she tendered her apology (both over the phone and physically) even though the generality of opinion was that I was right. I did that out of respect for her. I also apologized to my wife too for "over-reacting" as she puts it. I'm not sure that's what egocentric men do.

$ugardaddy:

My sister, I'm getting more confused now! It looks like I'm the one that should be apologizing for making myself available to be insulted simply because I married somebody's sister . Some views here are even making me feel like I should seek my inlaws opinions first before calling my wife to order whenever she errs so as not to be insulted by them .

m-ployer:
Well, we read nothing about you apologising in d post. We only read about ur wife and MIL apology and the need to straighten out ur BIL. I am not saying u lied but u didn't sound like someone who would do dat naturally.

Phema: Lol @ schooling him on how to respect his elders. . Guy, you get mind oooo. If na my brother, u go chop correct Slap!

$ugardaddy:

biolabee: If I read correctly, your wife and mil have apologised
So you won

And you are disturbing yourself with the bil who has no leg in your marriage

Forget about the boy

At all at all, let yoiur wife know and talk to him

ileobatojo:

Abegi, enough with the pity party.

It takes a special kind of wicked person to still be planning to 'deal with' someone months after they offended you when everyone else has moved on. You are not seething because you want to prevent a future occurrence, you are seething because of your wounded pride and your sense of self importance.

You have not said the bil has a pattern of being rude to you; the situation was that things had broken down between the two families, you disrespected his mother, he responded to you angrily because he got emotional about this. So what's hard in you moving on now? Shouldn't it be a simple matter of the next time you come across him, you say Lagbaja, I don't appreciate the way you spoke to me the other time. And the guy will say, bros e ma binu, my emotions got the better of me. End of story. Instead you are here months later plotting how to stab him in the back in the parking lot, months later. MONTHS o. You didn't 'deal' with it at the time it happened, you didn't deal with it the next day, not the next week, you didn't deal with it a month later, 2 months later you are still in a coma and you still didn't deal with it... Several months later, you are planning how to run him over with your car when he is crossing the road. What manner of wickedness is this? And people are busy petting you on the back and doing all manners of 'aponle'?

Imagine, you not only wanted your wife to apologize on his behalf, you also wanted your MIL to apologize on his behalf. Wow.

You disrespected your elder, your MIL, because you perceived she was overstepping her bounds, your bil did the exact same thing because he felt you were overstepping your bounds. Equation balanced. You now want to school someone on how to respect their elder? Spare me, please. Move on and stop feeling like people need to worship at your feet. If you don't go disrespecting people, no one will disrespect you. I don't care if you move on by having a candle light dinner with him or by having a spa date where you both cry on each other's shoulders. The bottom line is that you are quite out of line for still plotting revenge MONTHS later and you need to move the eff on!!



*Note that I never said you were not justified in your approach with your mil because I know some people will try to jump on that.*

soul_glo:


His wife and mother in law apologized to him and months later he still wants to possibly physically harm his brother in law. Seems to me the poster is on a power trip and is probably the trouble maker. His wife and mother in law probably apologized after his threats for the sake of peace. He just does not seem like a level headed person to me

$ugardaddy:

You certainly made that up, you didn't get it from this thread.

$ugardaddy:

You certainly made that up, you didn't get it from this thread.

$ugardaddy:
Ok, for the benefit of those of you who equate "deal with" to mean physical harm or injury to someone, let me explain what I mean by "deal with" :-

1. I will not call you for any reason whatsover.
2. I will ensure I don't participate in any event that will bring both of us physically together
3. I will ensure my children do not visit or have any interaction with you or your immediate family
4. etc, etc, etc

They are boycott actions and not physical harm as being misinterpreted here. Besides, they may take years to realize .

ileobatojo:

O'rly? So you mean to tell us that all this time you've been calling him, frolicking with him and his family at parties/events, meanwhile you are harboring beef and vengeful thoughts in your mind?

Yes? More evidence to your type of personality.

No? You haven't? So if you are already 'dealing with him', why this thread?

Lol.

redeemersave:

I pet/beg until I see him eat it. To crown it you stop sharing the same room with her, mennnn, its most hurting.

Above all, I like men who don't accept trash from so called mother in laws who come to play I be the mama and knows all and controling.

Well, whatever is good for you is good for your wife, I hope your wife will boldly tell your mother not to near her house when she misbehave too, deal with any sil or bil who try to come in, and stop cooking for you, sharing the room with you until you and your mother apologise.

I see this coming soon.

$ugardaddy:

No contact or calls to or from him since after that rude call of his. The thread is to seek better and quicker ways to deal with him It's also to seek opinion if dealing with him or letting go and moving on is a better option . I have actually tried moving on, especially with my wife being very remorseful now, but that urge to "deal with" my BIL keeps rearing it's ugly head

debrief08: I know people don't threaten legal action for minor offences. Heavens knows what you did.

As I said you seem proud and vengeful and egoistic.

debrief08: Still you are here most of the times boasting of how much and how well you cheat on your wife.

$ugardaddy:
Ok, for the benefit of those of you who equate "deal with" to mean physical harm or injury to someone, let me explain what I mean by "deal with" :-

1. I will not call you for any reason whatsover.
2. I will ensure I don't participate in any event that will bring both of us physically together
3. I will ensure my children do not visit or have any interaction with you or your immediate family
4. etc, etc, etc

They are boycott actions and not physical harm as being misinterpreted here. Besides, they may take years to realize .

debrief08: Just 2 days ago, we were sharing tips on bonding for couples and you were sharing your cheating tips.

chaircover:

which career path dare I ask

sugar daddy see ur sef? you don enter am today today today

$ugardaddy:
NLanders!!! Una no go kill me ooo!!! I asked for advice, instead of giving me, most of you have turned against me

Anyway sha, I appreciate all your comments, I actually made up my mind after that last post from debosky where maturity was advised as it was a family matter.

As a mark of respect for my wife, I will ignore and move on as advised by the majority of posters here. I have also picked up opinions as being proud, vengeful and egoistic or egocentric from a couple of posters. Surprisingly, those are vices I hate most in individuals no matter how highly placed -I will deal with them as well and come out a better person thereafter .

I will place a call to my BIL as advised and move on thereafter irrespective of whatever response I get from him. It may not be now but I certainly will do someday and I may not have to share that on this thread again.

I must say that all your comments have pushed that inner "deal with him" urge away now and I can feel it finally getting out of my system for good .

May God bless you all .