Coming from a pseudo-feminist, it shouldn't be all that alarming.

I was reading a thread yesterday about a young women who tried to commit suicide because she found out her supposedly perfect husband was cheating on her. If she were my kid Sis, I'd have dashed her free slap for that stupidity. This same lady was just justifying her husband's actions when after an argument he pushed her so her hard she banged her head on the edge of a glass table (in the risk of a permanent head injury). This same lady condoned and even justified her husband hating her OWN mother for the flimsy reason that she made some strong recommendations while they were planning their wedding. And suddenly she finds out her husband had a plethora of runs girls at his beck and call, and she overdosed on pills! You've got to be kidding me!

Now, I know my opinion on cheating males is going to be hugely unpopular amongst the female folks in the house (especially the married ones who for some reason think their life's happiness is tied to their spouse's fidelity). I'm also not making excuse for the male folks for cheating, I'm just trying to be realistic about this society. For some reason, men cheat. Most men infact. The sooner women realise this, the happier marriages will be. Sex is not love. To men especially (and me too) sex is just a function that can stand on it's own independent of love and even affection. It's like eating.

Don't be 100% sure that your husband is not cheating or will not cheat on you. That will be living in a fools paradise my dear. It has nothing to do with how pure or holy you were growing up. let's lower our expectations as far as marriage is concerned, and I bet you you'll have a happier and fulfilled marriage.

Or you can always choose not to get married. Divorce is also an option.

Yeah, Yeah I know about the bringing another woman into the house or infecting HIV to the poor innocent wife. Yeah let's hope your husband is sensible enough to not commit to these ladies and he's not stupid enough to not use protection.

Amya:

For some reason, men cheat. Most men infact. The sooner women realise this, the happier marriages will be. Sex is not love. To men especially (and me too) sex is just a function that can stand on it's own independent of love and even affection. It's like eating.

this is the truth majority of young married ladies don't understand. But older married women do and that is why they are never bothered when they learn their husbands in cheating outside ,their only problem is him marrying them. Now we have married women who even pack condoms into their husband things when he is traveling. Women must know that the first thing in a man brain about the opposite sex is sex .that is the way god created us.

I like no love your points
However your post got me thinking what is the worst thing that can happen to a marriage?

OP, your so on point, So ladies think a man marries them because of sex, but that's a big lie. Most men don't get married because of sex, its over rated, so any woman who gets married and wants to kill herself because her husband cheated on her, Can do so, its her life.

For most men, the reason they get married is for companionship. So if he finds u gud enough to be his companion, then bother not abt his cheating habit, but guide him better and talk with him if u suspect that he's cheating. Show how much of a gud companion ur to him. That's why he married U

onatisi:
this is the truth majority of young married ladies don't understand. But older married women do and that is why they are never bothered when they learn their husbands in cheating outside ,their only problem is him marrying them. Now we have married women who even pack condoms into their husband things when he is traveling. Women must know that the first thing in a man brain about the opposite sex is sex .that is the way god created us.

Keep making excuses to cheat! No go learn self control!

What exactly is your point? So women should expect their husbands to cheat? What nonsense is this?

TooNoisy:
What exactly is your point? So women should expect their husbands to cheat? What nonsense is this?

you don't expect him to cheat, but u don't also rule out d possibility of him cheating(flings) if ur a gud companion to him, he will find it hard to cheat. Being a gud companion is d biggest challenge women are faced with. A woman can be a gud wife, but will still not be a gud companion.

I can only speak for Christians.

Bible said love your wife as Christ loved his Church.
Any Christian man that supports OP will definitely not eat his cake and have it.
Adultery and Pre-marital sex is evil - shun it.

Don't be a cheat and expect submissive/respectful wife.


N/B - Quote responsibly...

sunnydayasaba:


For most men, the reason they get married is for companionship. So if he finds u gud enough to be his companion, then border not abt his cheating habit, but guide him better and talk with him if u suspect that he's cheating. Show how much of a gud companion ur to him. That's why he married U

May the same be done to you, when your wife turns you into nothing more than a sperm collector and starts trying out bigger sizes out there, since cheating isnt the worst thing that can happen in a marriage

Tay16:


I pray to God you will follow your own advice when your wife turns you into nothing more than a sperm donor and starts trying out bigger sizes out there, since cheating isnt the worst thing that can happen in a marriage

Dnt go personal nw....easy....meanwhile, i knw i will be a gud companion to my wife so cheating wont even arise in d first place

How many Nigerian women have left their husbands for cheating only? Most cases of divorce I've seen is because of abuse, neglect, irresponsibility and maybe in addition to cheating.

Yet to see a woman who marries a hardworking, providing, and decent man whose only weakness is cheating. Men fantasize about sleeping with any good looking female. Sex doesn't equate to love for men, more like adventure.

sunnydayasaba:



Dnt go personal nw....easy....meanwhile, i knw i will be a gud companion to my wife so cheating wont even arise in d first place

like I said let God put you in the same position and pray you will take your own advice

Tay16:
like I said let God put you in the same position and pray you will take your own advice

I reject ur prayer in Jesus name...Quit quoting me if u hv nothing meaningful to say...Am entitle to my opinion.

Married women should know that men who cheat aren't a problem. But what is worse than is cheating husband is when your husband or partner becomes your arch enemy at this point you don't know what will happen next,he can decide to slap,punch or even kill the woman. In such situations ,women do realize that having a cheating or poor husband but who still loves you isn't a problem at all.

zed7:
How many Nigerian women have left their husbands for cheating only? Most cases of divorce I've seen is because of abuse, neglect, irresponsibility and maybe in addition to cheating.

Yet to see a woman who marries a hardworking, providing, and decent man whose only weakness is cheating. Men fantasize about sleeping with any good looking female. Sex doesn't equate to love for men, more like adventure.

may God give you a sexually adventurous wife in Jesus Name

onatisi:
Married women should know that men who cheat aren't a problem. But what is worse than is cheating husband is when your husband or partner becomes your arch enemy at this point you don't know what will happen next,he can decide to slap,punch or even kill the woman. In such situations ,women do realize that having a cheating or poor husband but who still loves you isn't a problem at all.

Really??

Trust me, an abusive man is better than a promiscuous man.

P.S - I'm not supporting any.

sunnydayasaba:



I reject ur prayer in Jesus name...Quit quoting me if u hv nothing meaningful to say...Am entitle to my opinion.

talk about wanting to have your cake and eating it. My opinion was very meaningful and God will surely make it come to pass. As a man sows, so shall he reap.

FrancisTony:

Really??

Trust me, an abusive man is better than a promiscuous man.

P.S - I'm not supporting any.

an abusive man that may pull the gun trigger on ur brains anytime his brain turn upside down or may even throw u down from a 6 storey building is better than a man just catching his fun outside and making his woman happy at home ? Bros abeg things dey happen ooo. Just yesterday an abusive white husband shot and killed his young nigerian wife in the usa . Sex is nothing, boys will always be boys and men will always be boys. A 70yr old man still wanna catch his fun once in a while . The way god made man is ,we are moved by what we see , so if I see naked boobs and tits ,there is no amount of spiritual power that will stop my prick from waking up.

Tay16:
talk about wanting to have your cake and eating it. My opinion was very meaningful and God will surely make it come to pass. As a man sows, so shall he reap.

Ignore....Afterall we ball differently.

Tay16:
talk about wanting to have your cake and eating it. My opinion was very meaningful and God will surely make it come to pass. As a man sows, so shall he reap.

I will simply Ignore U....Afterall we ball differently.

onatisi:
an abusive man that may pull the gun trigger on ur brains anytime his brain turn upside down or may even throw u down from a 6 storey building is better than a man just catching his fun outside and making his woman happy at home ? Bros abeg things dey happen ooo. Just yesterday an abusive white husband shot and killed his young nigerian wife in the usa . Sex is nothing, boys will always be boys and men will always be boys. A 70yr old man still wanna catch his fun once in a while . The way god made man is ,we are moved by what we see , so if I see naked boobs and tits ,there is no amount of spiritual power that will stop my prick from waking up.

and today there are millions of wives dying from depression and HIV because of their cheating husbands. So what's your point?

onatisi:
an abusive man that may pull the gun trigger on ur brains anytime his brain turn upside down or may even throw u down from a 6 storey building is better than a man just catching his fun outside and making his woman happy at home ? Bros abeg things dey happen ooo. Just yesterday an abusive white husband shot and killed his young nigerian wife in the usa . Sex is nothing, boys will always be boys and men will always be boys. A 70yr old man still wanna catch his fun once in a while . The way god made man is ,we are moved by what we see , so if I see naked boobs and tits ,there is no amount of spiritual power that will stop my prick from waking up.

There's something we call control, and you've to do it.
Why should you be with a naked woman at first, if you haven't lured her when she was covered?
Nigerian case of abusive husband is when he beats and batters his wife.
Meanwhile, that scenario you narrated can be reversed where a woman shoot her husband.

By the way, have you heard of Sexually transmitted disease? Oh-kay, till he contacts it and pass it to his wife, then you'll know that abusive husband is still better than a promiscuous man.

Nonso23:


God bless you
I'm really moved by this truthful post. Such rare wisdom.

I can't believe I belong to the same species as you people......justifying cheating.

The worst thing that can happen to a marriage depends on the two individuals in a marriage and what their ideals and values are

e.g. A runs girl who dated 15 married men as a young lady was hardly ever in school and sha graduated with a pass and no employable skills whatsoever.She was eventually able to snag an 'island' big boy who married her. They live on Bannana Island she drives the best cars, always decked in Louboutins and Ferragamo (y'all know the pic i am painting ) might feel the worst thing to happen to her marriage is if she has to move to Akute, jump Marwa and have to go to yaba to buy bend down select To her sef as she knows from experience her husband cheating is no biggie. As long as she is the 'wifey' with all the perks its all good.

I know people who believe that a man must cheat but its all good as long as he is a 'great provider'. To some women a faithful poor man is of no use to them .I am just being truthful and factual here.

On the other hand some other women believe cheating is a deal breaker and don't mind being the co/main breadwinner as long as he does not cheat.To some its their spouse not having their back with his/her family.

I personally know someone who divorced her husband after so many years without kids. She is now married to someone else and has kids. She told me the deal breaker was the fact that he was unable to give her children. Some other person might have stayed in that marriage. I equally know another couple married for over 20 years without children and they are ok with it.

In other words like most family issues diff strokes for diff folks.

onatisi:
an abusive man that may pull the gun trigger on ur brains anytime his brain turn upside down or may even throw u down from a 6 storey building is better than a man just catching his fun outside and making his woman happy at home ? Bros abeg things dey happen ooo. Just yesterday an abusive white husband shot and killed his young nigerian wife in the usa . Sex is nothing, boys will always be boys and men will always be boys. A 70yr old man still wanna catch his fun once in a while . The way god made man is ,we are moved by what we see , so if I see naked boobs and tits ,there is no amount of spiritual power that will stop my prick from waking up.

This is a clear definitions of men that lacks self control.
Catching fun goes both ways after all you ain't doing it with your fellow men but sexually charged women. Women are equally sexually charged but they tend to suppress it for the sake of the family values especially the married one.

The cheats always looks for excuses to justify their actions, researches that will lay credence to their lack of self-control.

FrancisTony:

There's something we call control, and you've to do it.
Why should you be with a naked woman at first, if you haven't lured her when she was covered?
Nigerian case of abusive husband is when he beats and batters his wife.
Meanwhile, that scenario you narrated can be reversed where a woman shoot her husband.
By the way, have you heard of Sexually transmitted disease? Oh-kay, till he contacts it and pass it to his wife, then you'll know that abusive husband is still better than a promiscuous man.

look let's just be honest with ourselves and not try to be a saint here . 95% of married men have cheated or still cheating on their wives. You maybe one of the remaining 5% who aren't. But that doesn't make u any better or more loving and caring than the other 95% who cheat. With cheating ,there is protection but with abusive husbands there is no protection. Forget about self control or not, men need sex and when the urge comes it isn't all men that have the capacity to contain it and cheating on a wife doesn't mean the man doesn't love his wife. I am just been plain honest about this. Women should do a research about why men cheat and to be candid calling it cheating is even not the right word to use ,it should be why men have sex with other women apart from their wives . If a woman doent want her man to have sex outside , will she allow the man to marry more women then?

onatisi:
look let's just be honest with ourselves and not try to be a saint here . 95% of married men have cheated or still cheating on their wives. You maybe one of the remaining 5% who aren't. But that doesn't make u any better or more loving and caring than the other 95% who cheat. With cheating ,there is protection but with abusive husbands there is no protection. Forget about self control or not, men need sex and when the urge comes it isn't all men that have the capacity to contain it and cheating on a wife doesn't mean the man doesn't love his wife. I am just been plain honest about this. Women should do a research about why men cheat and to be candid calling it cheating is even not the right word to use ,it should be why men have sex with other women apart from their wives . If a woman doent want her man to have sex outside , will she allow the man to marry more women then?

Okay!

95% of married men cheat? That's your statistics, anyway.
Well, I haven't seen any trace of cheating in all married men around me.

Since I've heard few news about men that cheat, I'll say they are not up that 95%. like you ascribed

Maybe, about 40%...

Just when you thought you have seen/read it all.
how low can the nigerian women go.

After husband cheating with women, prostitute that might have 5 to 6 client per day. He might even go in the extent of giving her mouth action. The same mouth he then uses to kiss you etc.

*spits*

Make una endure abeg. After all cheating is better than poverty abi?

FrancisTony:

Okay!

95% of married men cheat? That's your statistics, anyway.
Well, I haven't seen any trace of cheating in all married men around me.

Since I've heard few news about men that cheat, I'll say they are not up that 95%. like you ascribed

Maybe, about 40%...

I no agree with you. Nigerian men can cheat ehn. No country competes with them.

Like 99%.

Only 1% of the population practise good morals. Other Na jagwuda!

Poverty follow they cause am.
Just 100naira recharge card one sisi go follow you like fly.