Play your guy like a ball and other girl catch him like a goalkeeper. You will regret watching the highlight.

# U dey do opening prayer 4 Night club, Na God go slap ur
mouth
# U come back from Dubai dey form British accent. Na rat go
chop ur mouth
# U be house boy u come dey play Rick Ross - I am the Boss. 4
where na.....
# U dey add water to egg say e go plenty when u fry am Why u
no add yeast join am...
# U no go university, and u dey find ur name for NYSC posting.
# U come dey try read this one...sjhshgshflkljdjfl a sorry 4 u.
# Dem wan inject u with HIV infected blood u come wear
condom mtcheeeew u dey mad
# House dey burn, you wan use gas do fire extinguisher
Hahahahaha..u don die.
# As a girl u wear one undies for 2 weeks. Wetin do u. #50 own
dey nau.
# Terry G's music dey inspire u unto which level na
# U carry candle dey look for where fuel dey smell from
continue u go soon see am
# U call MTN to tell dem sey ur free browsin cheat has stopped
workin Lolzzzzzz.... Just wait for anoda 40years dem go give u
anoda one... Ω̴̩ɑ̣̣̝̇̇ dere u go old put
# When pastor talk say "Do somethin crazy for the Lord" u come
carry church offering run na who wan hold u.

Ways To Know If U Are Cursed.
1. If u download anything from the
internet & it fails in 99%.
2. If u take cheat into the exam hall &
can't understand ur own handwriting.
3. If you buy a phone at the rate of 50k
today & the price drop to 16k
tomorrow.
4. If u break with ur lover & he/she win
200MUGX the next day.
5. If u use a heavy perfume, ur body
odour still remains.
6. If u work in a company for 10yrs
without
promotion or rise in salary.
7. If to lie 2 Armed robber that u don't
have a phone & it rings..
8. If the person that u are cursing in a
traffic turns out to be the person
interviewing u.
9. If u don't pass both mathematics &
english in ur
final exam.
10. If u get to the exam hall and you
can't remember ur first name.
11. If u are signed as the defender for
a Europian club & your first task is to
mark Lionel messi.
12. After photoshopping your
picture you still look ugly.
13. If a rat eats only your name out of
your
important document.
14. If your ticket money remain 1k nd you can't find it
till the closing date
15. Fashola come dash u okada, nd d next day him come ban
am
16. If u want 2 use d Atm and it got 2 ur turn and
Atm machine. IS writing Error in connection.
17. If your BB get stole the day you renew your
subscription
18. If u fart during interview nko
19. U̶̲̥̅̊ get speal over for school,U̶̲̥̅̊ register for the
course ΑϞ∂ on the exam day,before you enter
school d̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ don finish the paper
20. If u're posted to MAIDUGURI, as a copper
21. If u wan enta bnk nd d security door rejects u,
anoda persn try am nd d persn enta. U try again
bt d same prob. Na d security man go tell u say,
oga abeg shift, mke anoda persn enta.
22. whn u pick a fight wtf MARK HENRY...u don reach
heaven b dat oo
23. If u no hold money and u 1 travel on friday evenin
reachn ATM d machine swallow ur card
24. if usain bolt chases u with cutlass
25. If u enter public transport only to discover dat u
left ur wallet @home! Ur own don red be dat!
26. U were d 1st of 1thousand people waiting to take
a biometric test before your english exam starts
and the scanner rejects only you of all..

.......pls always
click on those LIKE buttons whenever I got you
smiling,giggling,laughing..........

L L

"Popping champagne","getting high on Rozay","chilling in VIP
section" ---->Things I don't want to see on your PM when you
are owing me money

GOOOAAAAALLLL!! !! Finally, FG have sc0red and
it's FG 1-0 ASUU.... It was a lovely pass
from
Namadi Sambo to GEJ wh0 wasted no
time
bursting the net and leaving the ASUU keeper Dr.
Faggie with no chance to stop the shot! It
was a
nice build up from David Mark, to Sambo
and unto the feets of GEJ who did pretty
well... Oh ma worth, #Jon Champion and #Jim Beklyn, u've to
admit that the way this game is
going, ASUU will
probably get the defeat in this
tournament!
Wonderful play though. But the question
is can FG maintain the victory in Asso Rock,
because ASUU
has great qualities of players and has
played
unbeaten this season, with the record
kept, ASUU has beaten FG several times in Asso Rock
stadium,
they even draw Fc Gabriel Suswam and
Fc Anyim Pius Anyim in 'Strike stadium'
this season, luckily,
this maybe FG turn because they have remain
trophiless for 4yrs now since 2009, but
let's wait
until the final whistle is blown.

Any man that uses his teeth to cut shaki from pepper soup with his eyes open is not afraid of anything ~ Barack Obama

Weekly promo!!!slap d person next 2 u and get 1free.it's real.I just got mine now!!for more rewards,slap mopol or a soldier! Hurry now while d offer lasts.

If you think meeting your girlfriend's parents is hard, just remember, someone is gonna try to date boko haram's daughter

Ladies are you bored?simply send a text to a random number saying Am pregnant"

Girls of nowadays, All you know is MY BOO BOO BOO BOO ' Where is your "K" Do you even read your book?

nice thread here
I swear I dey feel u

At a movie shoot
Director: we are goin to release the lion and it will chase u. but
dont worry it wont bite u?
Dennis: How sure are u?? ?
Director: it is written in the script
Dennis: has the lion read the script?

Only in Nollywood will a man with functioning eyes visit a
BLIND 'babalawo', and say 'Pls tell me what U see in my
FUTURE

Ibadan girls be like my names are 'Deola Suliake Titi Victoria'
but you can call me DSTV !

Yoruba boys be-like my name is Babatunde Balogun Michael,
you can call me BBM.

Since plane no safe again, na trekking sure pass o, even to UK,
when we reach red sea, na to call Moses number

Education is the key, but ASUU don spoil the padlock.

“Any man that drinks Alomo Bitters without squeezing his face
is capable of murder.” - Sam Loco Efe.

6000 naira for ordinary boxers There's no way I'm not
wearing it on top of my trouser o.

Weneva u tink life is hard just remember that somewhere in 9ja
an Anambra man is trying 2 pronounce d word
“PARALLELOGRAM”. So, cheer up!

I just saw this on BBM -----» “Dear unborn child, no be me dey
delay o. Na ur papa. Him still dey form BADDEST GUY EVER
LIVETH.”(Lol)

Men socialize by insulting each other, but they don't mean it.
Women socialize by complimenting each other, and they don't
mean it either

Dis Tym Last Year, I neva Imagined dat some one Using
Techno would walk up to me and Ask *fflamingo can I ave your BB
Pin* BlackBerry Why)
Don't let's bbm turn 2go na...

That Awkward Moment When You See Your Debtor In The
VVIP Section And You're In Regular.

Play your guy like a ball,
And you watch other girls catch him like a goal keeper.
You will regret watching the highlight. #DontDull

Bbm on Tecno is just like installing Obama's brain in Jonathan's
head. it doesn't jst fit...

-RACISM is when a white BB
Bold
6 cost more than a
black BB Bold 6.
-NEMESIS is when you submit
your answer
sheet
with your expo inside.
-LONG THROAT is when you
take
a girl out on a sunny day &
she orders for a
hot
plate of pepper
soup.
-A WITCH is that girl that eats
nkwobi, fish
pepper
soup, shawama, suya,
chicken, smirnoff,
fayrous &
when you take her home she
says
sorry I'm on my
period.
-OVERSABI is when you are
eating salad
witha girl
& she says 'honey, this food
no
done'.
-OLODO is when you are in a
plane
with a girl & she says 'honey
I'm hot, can you
please roll down the glass'.
-A HUNGRY CHILD is that kid
that sees you
eating &
says 'my mummy said I
shouldn't take food
from
strangers'.
-A STUBBORN CHILD is that kid
that
wakes up in the
middle of the night when
daddy &
mummy are
having good time & says
'mummy
I want to piss'

Hey houe not that am not a serious dude who is jobless posting jokes here...it just my passion to let's Nigerian forget the pains our Leaders had caused us....so whine away the sorrow and smile...like FELA said.....we dey shuffering and smilling...
Please click Like if you get my alaye.!!!!....one love
Should I continue........