Hi
Im new here,
And would like to know if there is any other people who are suffering or have suffered from depression or anxiety and how they have manged to deal with.
For me, the main issue when it comes to depression is the huge ignorance and narrow-mindness of African people who trivialize it and even go the the extend of bullying or condemning suicidal people instead of providing the love, support and care they need during their vulnerability. All that in the name of religion, when religion preach non judgment and love SMH hypocrites!!

I am sick of the sigma and taboo surrounding metal illness. I am sick of the appalling and inhuman ways mentally ill people are treated in Africa or in African communities. The UN classes depression as one of the most wide-spread diseases in the world and one of the deadliest, yet most African people want to remain stubbornly ignorant about it.

I would like this thread to be some sort of refuge where people who feel vulnerable can come and expose their grief, express themselves without any prejudice or judgement, share their hardships and maybe provide tips or advise. I want to build a small network of support so that any African who feel depressed and suicidal know that they are loved and supported, cared for and most importantly NOT ALONE.

Depression is rampant in Africa, people are just blind to it, so many of us are depressed but don know it mainly because of the lack of amenities and facilities to treat and diagnose mental illness properly. My uncle suffered from it all his life. My mum and her siblings would call him lazy and berate because he couldnt leaveve his bed, had difficulty doing things and he found refuge in alcohol, became an alcoholic and died at the tender age of 33 - just like Jesus Chirtst. So it runs in my family. Even my great-grand-ma hanged herself. Had they been supported and cared for properly none of this would have happened. They were amazing people who could have done so much for their community yet depression killed them and destroyed their relatives who loved them.

As for me, I am 24yo, havent graduated yet because of my anxiety and depression, I have no job, feel lonely and pessimistic about the future and often suicidal and often feel like I will be dead by the time I am 30 too.

So if you need to talk, I am here. If you feel bum out because you cant function, be 'productive' remember that the chemical imbalance that cause depression is NOT YOUR FAULT, that your worth as human being is UNCONDITIONAL and that you are loved and precious xoxoxo.

onila:

I will try and update this thread with information about depression and anxiety when I feel better

Love your thread. I also suffer from depression a lot. I have come close of ending it all on two occasions. No one to talk or share idea with. Wifey does not help matter either she behave as if she doesnt care. I have being in the US for the past 4 month intially i was happy but with time the thought of going back also is making me going mad. If am still on this planet I will check here time to time but if not we will meet in the great beyond.

globalaid: Love your thread. I also suffer from depression a lot. I have come close of ending it all on two occasions. No one to talk or share idea with. Wifey does not help matter either she behave as if she doesnt care. I have being in the US for the past 4 month intially i was happy but with time the thought of going back also is making me going mad. If am still on this planet I will check here time to time but if not we will meet in the great beyond.

I kind of know what you mean.
I, too, had to deal with and am still dealing with close-minded relatives who do not understand how devastating depression can be.
I know that I will always be the shame of my mother because while her friends' daughters have already graduated and are getting married, I spend my days bed-ridden crying, sometimes it so bad that even eating seems too hard to do. I constantly feels like a burden and an oddity and even an embarrassment, because I dont understand why I am this way and not 'normal' like other people.

When you say depression to non-depressed people, they immediately think about the fake disease invented by 'weak and soft' white people. They dont think our pain is real because our suffering is not physical and visible to them so they dismiss it as if it didnt exist.
Yet there are a lot of things that we cant see that do exist!!
No one who has ever been depressed can know what depression feels like, NO ONE!! It is terrible a terrible gloom and fog that takes over your soul and taint your reality and mkes you powerless. DONT BLAME YOURSELF FOR THAT.
Depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain that actually affects several parts of the brain and alters the good functioning of a person. So it is like any disease, just as real as cancer.

Maybe you should try and show some literature to your wife about it so that she understands how serious your illness is and share the depth of your distress with her, especially since you just moved to a totally different country and it can take a huge emotional toll on people. Something is certain, if you kill yourself, she will regret it the rest of her life. Tell her how much you need her support, be honest, tell her about your suicidal thoughts, after all when you get married, it is for bets and worst, right??

I know how hard it is to try and communicate your turmoil to others and know that they would never understand what you are going through which makes you feel even more isolated and depressed but dont take it at heart, PLEASE. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT, it is THEIR ignorance. It is a fault in their character, not yours. Dont be ashamed and feel guilty for being made fragile and vulnerable by something beyond your control. It is in our vulnerability that we humans find ourselves, find our strengths and the meaning of life, as Dr Renee Brown would say.

It is not because they do not understand it that your pain is not valid. YOUR PAIN IS VALID, I promise you. Just like the pain of someone SUFFERING FROM cancer or any other physical and non-mentall illness.


Dont be hard on yourself
Please forgive yourself for being imperfect and broken because it is your imperfections that makes you human.
It is not because this world has on mercy on you that you deserve none. Actually you deserve mercy and compassion even more in your fragility.
You are made of star stuff literally, a child of God and the universe and because of that, you will always be loved and cared for *hug*


If you need to talk, I am here, well as long I dont kill myself as well

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=iCvmsMzlF7o

I have desperately been trying post a video please HELLLLLLLPPPPPPPP

GREAT THREAD. I wud be following this thread intensively from now-ish. And I hv lots of questns and tins to learn about smtin I know little about but affects 1 or 2 persons I know....

depressionkills:

As for me, I am 24yo, havent graduated yet because of my anxiety and depression, I have no job, feel lonely and pessimistic about the future and often suicidal and often feel like I will be dead by the time I am 30 too.

my dear, I thought I was the only one who is going thru this

these days, I have been thinking abt death and I wont be able to live a good life in the future

I really need help

depressionkills:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=iCvmsMzlF7o

I have desperately been trying post a video please HELLLLLLLPPPPPPPP

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCvmsMzlF7o

onila:

my dear, I thought I was the only one who is going thru this

these days, I have been thinking abt death and I wont be able to live a good life in the future

I really need help

Me too, my thoughts are plagued by anxiety and a panic fear of the future. I feel like life challenges are way to hard for me and I wont be able to handle them. My financial situation is so precarious. Not having a job, finishing school causes SOOOOOOOOOO MUCH STRESSS that I used to have panic attacks. I dont know if you ever had those but your heart starts racing very fast and feel like you are having a heart attack, you feel cold and start shivering and you literally feel your stomach shrink.
I panic all the time about school, bills, visa, blabla blabla LIFE IS SOOOOOO DAMN HARRRRRDDD!! Once I almost got evicted, can you believe this??

I 100% depend on my parents right now and it causes me so much shame, since they are getting old and since I am the eldest I am expected to be the one catering for my younger siblings yet life hardships just seems unbearable.
I cant even take care of my own self, how an I take care of somebody else??

I once read that Africans, unlike what must people think, are more likely to be affected by mental illness such as anxiety and depression because most of us live very very hard lives that lead us to worry and feel vulnerable all the time. Lets not even talk about the fact that so many Africans are victims of all types of violence, political, economical, sexual ...etc

This is why I m so much against violence because I know first hand how it destroy people form within. One of my ex was the type of guy, everybody looks at and envy. He had a BA at Ivy League university then went on to study Law at Georgetown. Brght guy with a bright future ahead and very handsome. Looking at him, noone can imagine how depressed and suicidal he really is. I remember the first time we spoke, we were talking causally and joking and all of sudden he just broke down and told me that he had tried to hang himself the night before. I was sooo shocked!!!! He looks like the type of guys who has it all but deep inside he hurts so much. He smiles, pretends that he is OK, but is suffering so much but because he projects the image of success, no one sees it!

You can never tell what people are going through, this is why people should be careful with their words and actions!! I admit that I am a terrible person a lot of the time but I am doing my best and learning form my mistakes. A word can kill just like it can save a person. So many people saved me with their words without even knowing. They reminded me that I matter

Depression can affect everybody!!

Many Africans may be depressed and have an anxiety disorder and they dont know it

depressionkills:

Me too, my thoughts are plagued by anxiety and a panic fear of the future. I feel like life challenges are way to hard for me and I wont be able to handle them. My financial situation is so precarious. Not having a job, finishing school causes SOOOOOOOOOO MUCH STRESSS that I used to have panic attacks. I dont know if you ever had those but your heart starts racing very fast and feel like you are having a heart attack, you feel cold and start shivering and you literally feel your stomach shrink.
I panic all the time about school, bills, visa, blabla blabla LIFE IS SOOOOOO DAMN HARRRRRDDD!! Once I almost got evicted, can you believe this??

I 100% depend on my parents right now and it causes me so much shame, since they are getting old and since I am the eldest I am expected to be the one catering for my younger siblings yet life hardships just seems unbearable.
I cant even take care of my own self, how an I take care of somebody else??

I once read that Africans, unlike what must people think, are more likely to be affected by mental illness such as anxiety and depression because most of us live very very hard lives that lead us to worry and feel vulnerable all the time. Lets not even talk about the fact that so many Africans are victims of all types of violence, political, economical, sexual ...etc

This is why I m so much against violence because I know first hand how it destroy people form within. One of my ex was the type of guy, everybody looks at and envy. He had a BA at Ivy League university then went on to study Law at Georgetown. Brght guy with a bright future ahead and very handsome. Looking at him, noone can imagine how depressed and suicidal he really is. I remember the first time we spoke, we were talking causally and joking and all of sudden he just broke down and told me that he had tried to hang himself the night before. I was sooo shocked!!!! He looks like the type of guys who has it all but deep inside he hurts so much. He smiles, pretends that he is OK, but is suffering so much but because he projects the image of success, no one sees it!

You can never tell what people are going through, this is why people should be careful with their words and actions!! I admit that I am a terrible person a lot of the time but I am doing my best and learning form my mistakes. A word can kill just like it can save a person. So many people saved me with their words without even knowing. They reminded me that I matter

Depression can affect everybody!!

Many Africans may be depressed and have an anxiety disorder and they dont know it

I really do like you, I think yr a great person
I see a gorgeous, articulate, smart, kind, positive, non-judgemental and a wonderful person when I read yr posts

I don't get why you are so depressed tho I wish you cld see yr good sides and use it for yr own good. Instead of focusing on your negative qualities

You are a very smart girl. I suggest u use yr smart brians and finish school instead of thinking of things that you shldnt worry abt

I know how to bring out the good in people
forget your past, I suggest you go to church regularly and hang around elderly people instead of b1tchy girls who will bring you down

CAMNEWTON4PRES: I guess Beti are the cause of your depression right?

No, People like YOU are! Bigoted, tribalist, prejudiced, cruel, mean-spirited and basic.

When I read what you said, I remember of how 'crazy' people are treated in Cameroon. they are stripped naked, many of them are raped and even kill, torture for the amusement of sick and cruel bigots like you who take pleasure in inflicting pain onto other SMH You shoudl hang you head in shame really.

If you were truly proud, you wouldnt found solace in your countrymen hardships! Do you know how many women, newly mothers suffer from postnatal depression in Africa and receive NO SUPPORT yet have to suffer stigmatization because of people like you??
Havent you heard about that African American woman who was shot in front of the white house and her daughter and was suffering from post natal depression? Do you find this funny??

Can go about without putting people down? Who made you so cruel, and why do you keep claiming Cameroon when you despite so many of us for being Anglophones, muslims, Bamilekes or depressed??

depressionkills:



Many Africans may be depressed and have an anxiety disorder and they dont know it

I went to a psychologist and was diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder
the psychologist told me I need medication and ordered my school doctor to give me drugs

I took it for a while and stopped
when I realized I needed to go back on medication
my pharmacist said since I haven't taken the drugs for over 7 months and she wnt be able to give me drugs because thats according to their law over here

that means I have to do another psychological evaluation again which takes over one month to complete
I have been so lazy to do the whole ish all over again


Hopefully I will soon


I know in Africa, you don't have access to all these things which makes it more difficult for you guys over there
but God is yr strength

onila:

I went to a psychologist and was diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder
the psychologist told me I need medication and ordered my school doctor to give me drugs

I took it for a while and stopped
when I realized I needed to go back on medication
my pharmacist said since I haven't taken the drugs for over 7 months and she wnt be able to give me drugs because thats according to their law over here

that means I have to do another psychological evaluation again which takes over one month to complete
I have been so lazy to do the whole ish all over again


Hopefully I will soon


I know in Africa, you don't have access to all these things which makes it more difficult for you guys over there
but God is yr strength

I dont live in Cameroon right now, which makes it better kinda, I guess but it is still hard
Those back home are left to fend for themselves and use drugs to cope, horrible
I hope you receive the help you need

tnature: I just read about a 35-year-old nursing mother who committed suicide few hours after dedicating her 3-months-old baby. The only reasonable explanation for such an act is Postpartum Depression, also known as postnatal depression. According to the report, the woman's husband noticed the signs of depression but it never occurred to him that she could take her life.

I was saddened by the news, so I decided to write this post to raise awareness, especially among the African community.

About 80% of new moms experience the "baby blues" in the first couple of weeks after childbirth, which are caused by hormonal changes that takes place in a woman's body after the birth of a child. Symptoms include irritability, crying spells, mood swings, trouble sleeping and sadness. These conditions are generally not serious and fades away quickly.

However, some moms experience a more severe, long-lasting form of these feelings known as Postpartum Depression. In addition to the symptoms mentioned earlier, it can also result in feeling of guilt or shame, withdrawal from friends and family, lack of joy, and difficulty bonding with the baby. It is usually treated by counseling and medication, but exercising, eating well, and getting enough rest can also help.

In rare cases, a woman may experience a severe form of depression known as Postpartum Psychosis. This condition is characterized by hallucinations, paranoia, irrational thoughts, and being a danger to oneself and the baby. This is an emergency that requires immediate medical attention because it can get worse and put the mother or others in danger.

It is important to understand that Postpartum Depression isn't a character flaw or a weakness. These changes can be caused by hormonal changes that occur after pregnancy. Any woman can get postpartum depression in the months after childbirth, stillbirth, or miscarriage.

Partners, friends, and family - your support during the first few months after pregnancy will go a long way to reduce the occurrence of Postpartum Depression.

Share Your Thoughts

Do you know anyone who has experienced Postpartum Depression? Please describe the experience and share tips on how to deal with the condition.

Source: http://www.infonubia.com/2013/10/the-dangers-of-postpartum-depression.html

iT IS FROM THIS THREAD: https://www.nairaland.com/1483953/dangers-postpartum-depression

This here shows you how widespread mental illness is. And it is a call for all people to be people to be more supportive of mentally ill people

These are links of other Nairaland threads which provide very useful tips on how to deal with depression:

What Are The Tips To Overcome Depression, Guilt,n Shame?
https://www.nairaland.com/753999/what-tips-overcome-depression-guiltn

How To Deal And Overcome Depression Without Drugs
https://www.nairaland.com/384229/how-deal-overcome-depression-without

How To Deal With Negative People.
https://www.nairaland.com/1462427/how-deal-negative-people
This thread in particular is very useful to deal with relatives who do not understand mental illness

depressionkills:

Me too, my thoughts are plagued by anxiety and a panic fear of the future. I feel like life challenges are way to hard for me and I wont be able to handle them. My financial situation is so precarious. Not having a job, finishing school causes SOOOOOOOOOO MUCH STRESSS that I used to have panic attacks. I dont know if you ever had those but your heart starts racing very fast and feel like you are having a heart attack, you feel cold and start shivering and you literally feel your stomach shrink.
I panic all the time about school, bills, visa, blabla blabla LIFE IS SOOOOOO DAMN HARRRRRDDD!! Once I almost got evicted, can you believe this??

I 100% depend on my parents right now and it causes me so much shame, since they are getting old and since I am the eldest I am expected to be the one catering for my younger siblings yet life hardships just seems unbearable.
I cant even take care of my own self, how an I take care of somebody else??

I once read that Africans, unlike what must people think, are more likely to be affected by mental illness such as anxiety and depression because most of us live very very hard lives that lead us to worry and feel vulnerable all the time. Lets not even talk about the fact that so many Africans are victims of all types of violence, political, economical, sexual ...etc

This is why I m so much against violence because I know first hand how it destroy people form within. One of my ex was the type of guy, everybody looks at and envy. He had a BA at Ivy League university then went on to study Law at Georgetown. Brght guy with a bright future ahead and very handsome. Looking at him, noone can imagine how depressed and suicidal he really is. I remember the first time we spoke, we were talking causally and joking and all of sudden he just broke down and told me that he had tried to hang himself the night before. I was sooo shocked!!!! He looks like the type of guys who has it all but deep inside he hurts so much. He smiles, pretends that he is OK, but is suffering so much but because he projects the image of success, no one sees it!

You can never tell what people are going through, this is why people should be careful with their words and actions!! I admit that I am a terrible person a lot of the time but I am doing my best and learning form my mistakes. A word can kill just like it can save a person. So many people saved me with their words without even knowing. They reminded me that I matter

Depression can affect everybody!!

Many Africans may be depressed and have an anxiety disorder and they dont know it

Sounds very intense. Sorry. How about you just live life as it comes and stop sweating everything? Let the future take care of itself. Just have your goals and work towards them. If the goals work out, fine. If they dont, when you get there you will figure something out. Not worrying too much about life may help. Because the more you worry, and the higher the expectations the worse the depression. Living a carefree life when it comes to the lemons life throws at you, makes you a happier, cheerful and more balanced person. Never dwell on your past, failures or negativity. Your attitude should be, "okay this has happened, what is my next step?". Life will take care of itself whether you are there or not. Decide you want to live and take life one day at a time. before you know it, you will be working on full speed with happiness as a companion. I think you should also keep away from negative people as you are a pessimist. And learn to pray positivity in your life every morning and night. Having a boyfriend who is just as depressed as you is scary. You both do not need to be together except you can work on your issues honestly. You both might have attracted each other without knowing it, because your state of mind is the same. Please leave such a relationship till you both seek help. The damage you could do together can be devastating to a lot of people. This is a time bomb kind of relationship. I am sorry to say.

baby_123:

Sounds very intense. Sorry. How about you just live life as it comes and stop sweating everything? Let the future take care of itself. Just have your goals and work towards them. If the goals work out, fine. If they dont, when you get there you will figure something out. Not worrying too much about life may help. Because the more you worry, and the higher the expectations the worse the depression. Living a carefree life when it comes to the lemons life throws at you, makes you are happier, cheerful and more balanced person. Life will take care of itself whether you are there or not. Decide you want to live and take life one day at a time. before you know it, you will be working on full speed with happiness as a companion. I think you should also keep away from negative people as you are a pessimist. And learn to pray positivity in your life. Having a boyfriend who is just as depressed as you is scary. You both do not need to be together except you can work on your issues honestly. You both might have attracted each other without knowing it, because your state of mind is the same. Please leave such a relationship till you both seek help. The damage you could do together can be devastating to a lot of people. This is a time bomb kind of relationship. I am sorry to say.

OMG thanks so much for your support.
i know what you mean. I have tried changing my thoughts patterns with Cognitive Behavioral therapy but it is very hard to get over toxic mental habits like focusing ob the negatives, worries. Getting over habits that I have developed for over a decade is very difficult, it is almost like getting rid of an addiction...
i also do mindfilness meditation and gratitude prayers
But thanks anyway, it feels good to know that there are people that cares and are open-minded