depressionkills:

OMG thanks so much for your support.
i know what you mean. I have tried changing my thoughts patterns with Cognitive Behavioral therapy but it is very hard to get over toxic mental habits like focusing ob the negatives, worries. Getting over habits that I have developed for over a decade is very difficult, it is almost like getting rid of an addiction...
i also do mindfilness meditation and gratitude prayers
But thanks anyway, it feels good to know that there are people that cares and are open-minded

Just live your life and enjoy it. You are young, wild ( ) and free. What more could you want. Live your own life. Forget anyone's expectations (family, cultural), forget family sickness and with therapy save your own life and move on. At the end of the day, you would be alone in your grave, alone with all your lifes expectations and deeds. You can either choose to smile as you are rested in old age, knowing you lived a good life. A fulfilling life, and a life that touched many. Or you can decide to go early, hurt family and friends and be another family statistic. The choice is yours. . I hope you choose to live and be happy. When you are happy, people around you will be happy.

baby_123:



Just live your life and enjoy it. You are young, wild ( ) and free. What more could you want. Live your own life. Forget anyone's expectations (family, cultural), forget family sickness and with therapy save your own life and move on. At the end of the day, you would be alone in your grave, alone with all your lifes expectations and deeds. You can either choose to smile as you are rested in old age, knowing you lived a good life. A fulfilling life, and a life that touched many. Or you can decide to go early, hurt family and friends and be another family statistic. The choice is yours. . I hope you choose to live and be happy. When you are happy, people around you will be happy.

What you said is so important! The notion of choice is very central to many depressed and anxious people who feel trapped life and not in control os they give up. I often forget that at the end of the day it is MY choice, my life because my mind is so clouded and also in our African cultures the sense of duty towards our family is so important and can be a deadly burden. So thanks for reminding me because i forget all the time
BTW I love your profile picture.
It is Ataui Deng, right? She looks like goddess!! So beautiful *_*

depressionkills:

What you said is so important! The notion of choice is very central to many depressed and anxious people who feel trapped life and not in control os they give up. I often forget that at the end of the day it is MY choice, my life because my mind is so clouded and also in our African cultures the sense of duty towards our family is so important and can be a deadly burden. So thanks for reminding me because i forget all the time
BTW I love your profile picture.
It is Ataui Deng, right? She looks like goddess!! So beautiful *_*

Yes, It is your choice. Always remind yourself of that! No one can take anything from you except you let them. So make the conscious decision to live, and live happy. It should be your "Pursuit of Happiness". Not your pursuit to please everyone. If you can support your family fine, if you cant let them know you are struggling. You can find a better job or a job that you are happy doing while making money. So you kill two birds with one stone. After taking care of your needs, if you can support them, do. If you cant, keep pursing your degree. When you get a job then you fulfill your obligation. Right now, your life should be about you, and you getting to where you want to be. Physically, emotionally and health wise.

Yes that is Ataui, shes a gorgeous woman. Black beauty that would stun anyone. . Not dark but i think dark women are beautiful.

baby_123:

Yes, It is your choice. Always remind yourself of that! No one can take anything from you except you let them. So make the conscious decision to live, and live happy. It should be your "Pursuit of Happiness". Not your pursuit to please everyone. If you can support your family fine, if you cant let them know you are struggling. You can find a better job or a job that you are happy doing while making money. So you kill two birds with one stone. After taking care of your needs, if you can support them, do. If you cant, keep pursing your degree. When you get a job then you fulfill your obligation. Right now, your life should be about you, and you getting to where you want to be. Physically, emotionally and health wise.

Yes that is Ataui, shes a gorgeous woman. Black beauty that would stun anyone. . No dark but i think dark women are beautiful.

African parents, we all have them LOL!!
Dealing with them is so hard because they place expectations soooooo high on their kids just to keep up with the Joneses and it is very hard to rise above that. Btw are you Nigerian too?? If you are you must know what I am talking about. I have often hear my Nigerian friends talking about how their parents force them to be doctor, lawyer or Engineer even when they have no interest in those fields and tell them that their best is never good enough Same in Cameroon and all over Africa
Well that is the typical life of the African kid

I think that everybody is beautiful in their own way but yeah there is definitively something special about South Sudanese women. Did you know that South Sudan has now become the first exporters of Fashion models in the world? Their skin is so smooth and beautiful and even with an amazing bone structure. *_*

depressionkills:

African parents, we all have them LOL!!
Dealing with them is so hard because they place expectations soooooo high on their kids just to keep up with the Joneses and it is very hard to rise above that. Btw are you Nigerian too?? If you are you must know what I am talking about. I have often hear my Nigerian friends talking about how their parents force them to be doctor, lawyer or Engineer even when they have no interest in those fields and tell them that their best is never good enough Same in Cameroon and all over Africa
Well that is the typical life of the African kid

I think that everybody is beautiful in their own way but yeah there is definitively something special about South Sudanese women. Did you know that South Sudan has now become the first exporters of Fashion models in the world? Their skin is so smooth and beautiful and even with an amazing bone structure. *_*

I am Nigerian and understand the expectations very well. The good thing is my parents were liberal. I think they were even more liberal because i am a natural rebel. They learnt early that i am fiercely independent with a mind of my own, and make practical decisions. Even my dad will go over things with me because he trusted by judgement. I learnt very early that at the end of the day, no matter what i would be left with the consequences. So why not create consequences i know are my own making? At least i could laugh at how silly i was, and learn from my mistakes. Now, my own actions are done with a certain level of morality which i have been raised with. Even if i break that code, i dont beat myself up at all. I look at what next now that i have fu&cked up. And i say that with a smile. I never dwell on any mistakes at all, because i made those decisions eyes wide open. I learn from it and move on. I also shut anyone up who would judge me when i have never judged myself. You have to live for you, but that doesnt mean you lose emotional bonds or human affections. Learn to balance your life and create a moral code based on your upbringing and understand the power of empathy.

South Sudanese women are beautiful. Did you see miss world South Sudan?? . she was almost purple yet the most beautiful.

baby_123:

I am Nigerian and understand the expectations very well. The good thing is my parents were liberal. I think they were even more liberal because i am a natural rebel. They learnt early that i am fiercely independent with a mind of my own, and make practical decisions. Even my dad will go over things with me because he trusted by judgement. I learnt very early that at the end of the day, no matter what i would be left with the consequences. So why not create consequences i know are my own making? At least i could laugh at how silly i was, and learn from my mistakes. Now, my own actions are done with a certain level of morality which i have been raised with. Even if i break that code, i dont beat myself up at all. I look at what next now that i have fu&cked up. And i say that with a smile. I never dwell on any mistakes at all, because i made those decisions eyes wide open. I learn from it and move on. I also shut anyone up who would judge me when i have never judged myself. You have to live for you, but that doesnt mean you lose emotional bonds or human affections. Learn to balance your life and create a moral code based on your upbringing and understand the power of empathy.

South Sudanese women are beautiful. Did you see miss world South Sudan?? . she was almost purple yet the most beautiful.

You are exactly the kind of person I hope to be one day!!
I am your total opposite, I spend hours dwelling on the past and telling myself 'what if', 'I should have done this and that' and it is very exhausting emotionally because it stops me from enjoying the past and at the end of the day I feel as if I has wasted my life

And yeah, Miss World Sudan is absolutely stunning! !!!

She even ended in the top ten of Miss world 2013

The funny thing though is that when her pictures were posted on lINDA iKEJI'S BLOG, people were going on and on about how 'dark and ugly ' she was. So so sad!! No wonder that about 70% of African women bleach their skin with such a mentality. It is very rare to meet other Africans that appreciate the beauty of dark-skinned people. I know so many women who feel less than because they are dark and are ready to mess up their health and finance to be light.
Body image issues are also another big cause of emotional pain for many black women.

depressionkills:

You are exactly the kind of person I hope to be one day!!
I am your total opposite, I spend hours dwelling on the past and telling myself 'what if', 'I should have done this and that' and it is very exhausting emotionally because it stops me from enjoying the past and at the end of the day I feel as if I has wasted my life

And yeah, Miss World Sudan is absolutely stunning! !!!

She even ended in the top ten of Miss world 2013

The funny thing though is that when her pictures were posted on lINDA iKEJI'S BLOG, people were going on and on about how 'dark and ugly ' she was. So so sad!! No wonder that about 70% of African women bleach their skin with such a mentality. It is very rare to meet other Africans that appreciate the beauty of dark-skinned people. I know so many women who feel less than because they are dark and are ready to mess up their health and finance to be light.
Body image issues are also another big cause of emotional pain for many black women.

All these life lessons did not come easy. I learned over time to take everything with a pinch of salt. if you annoy me i tell you immediately and move on. I never sleep on my anger or issues. I have also learnt that the people i am worried about are out there living, so why should i kill myself over their own personal short comings? I am not perfect and can never be. SO i dont even try. I chose to be who i am over time in life. So i am passing on my experience to you.

Dont mind Nigerians. Their low self esteem is crazy. And most of those people on that blog are not well at all. They project their own issues which is mostly full blown mental issues. So never take what you read seriously, the negativity there is mind boggling. When they bleach they kill themselves now. That girl was so pretty. She made our nigerian miss world look like a white wash. Absolutely out shined her. hahahaha.

baby_123:

All these life lessons did not come easy. I learned over time to take everything with a pinch of salt. if you annoy me i tell you immediately and move on. I never sleep on my anger or issues. I have also learnt that the people i am worried about are out there living, so why should i kill myself over their own personal short comings? I am not perfect and can never be. SO i dont even try. I chose to be who i am over time in life. So i am passing on my experience to you.

Dont mind Nigerians. Their low self esteem is crazy. And most of those people on that blog are not well at all. They project their own issues which is mostly full blown mental issues. So never take what you read seriously, the negativity there is mind boggling. When they bleach they kill themselves now. That girl was so pretty. She made our nigerian miss world look like a white wash. Absolutely out shined her. hahahaha.

Does that mean that you have never felt down??
For example, our society is very competitive. Every body want the biggest car, the biggest wedding, the most expensive watch, the biggest house ... etc and people who fail to get that are constantly put down and made to feel useless and worthless.
How do you go about with your self worth and emotional life intact without always comparing yourself??


Basically how do you manage not to care and be so strong and always put your choices before what everybody else's think without letting it get to you??
What trick do you use?

Because like I told you I am aware of what I should do, aware that it is all about my choices but it is very hard to keep that in mind in a world were we are constantly judged and put down and our individuality attacked, if you know what I mean
PLEASE SHARE!!!

check these out:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ft41WNPEEmg

she is brave for putting her biz out there like that.
esp on youtube.

*edited, i felt bad posting that young girl up*

@ op you should try listening to this guy:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhfhcv9LF2I

At the end of the day just know,
you are OK. It's all in your head although the symptoms may feel real
and you just need to relax. Your "fight or flight" instincts are kicking in
and since there is no real danger, the adrenaline that builds up can't be
released so it has a negative affect on the mind/body.

So try to relax and do things that make you feel better.
You'll be fine.

Hi, Depressionkills

am kinda feeling ok today

when someone said am a wonderful person

compliments help

I hope yr doing good

onila: Hi, Depressionkills

am kinda feeling ok today

when someone said am a wonderful person

compliments help

I hope yr doing good

Hi Onila, I am glad that you are doing better (^_^) I know how uplifting compliments can be especially when one is haunted by negative self-talk always telling you that you are not go enough and deserving of love and nice things. Learning to accept compliments may seem meaningless but it is actually a major step in the right direction and away from a negative though patterns that always discards the positive. I am happy for you (^_^)


Thanks to all those who contributed to the thread and the poster above with the videos, they are relly really helpful. I am really sorry for not checking this thread in days but as I said in my OP Im depressed and anxious and I procrastinate and avoid A LOT. It is very very crippling.

But today, I am feeling better
I just watched this video on Depression by the incredibly brilliant Dr Sapolsky
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOAgplgTxfc in which he debunks many misconceptions about depression and mental illness.
I encourage anyone feeling down or guilty because of their depression to watch this and understand that IT IS NOT THEIR FAULT and DEPRESSION IS JUST AS DEBILITATING AS ANY OTHER DISEASE


I will try and update this thread more often, I promise

.

"Depression is short end for devastating illness." Stephen Ilardi

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=drv3BP0Fdi8

.

I know someone who I think is suffering from depression. The problem is that I am not sure if he knows what is wrong with him and I don't know how to help him, please any ideas how to approach this issue?

pick up a sport, preferable a team sport

start exercising- go to the gym

dont stay idle

its true

Hmmmm this is interesting... The truth is every living being feel depressed, and sometime contemplate sucide. People I want you to know that you are stronger than nature if you can see the inner you... U'll will defeat depression. Jst try and look inwradly... Don't let uncertainty end your life... The most successful person on earth is also scared abt 2mao (because it is so uncertain).

Now I'm depressed, which is exactly what happens when you talk about depressing stuffs, but since this is a serious issue, I'm going to advise you see serious people, I mean the professionals, cause contrary to what you think, its widely studied in Nigeria and there are many drugs for treatmen.

Following sharperly, i thought i was alone in this world.

Depressionkills and Onila:

I felt really touched by your posts.

I can only suggest to you a sure solution. Trust God and seek a relationship with Him. Truly, in His presence there is fullness of joy and where there is joy, depression is non existent.

Please my intention is NOT to be spooky or religious, the plan of the enemy is to STEAL, KILL and DESTROY..your dreams, your destiny and if you are afflicted with depression, it means you cannot experience the rich life God has planned for you.

DK: you mentioned it runs in your family, you can decide to put a STOP to it! When you become born again and fill your spirit with Gods word, your life takes a whole new turn.

I am so sorry for all you've being through and pray you come out totally renewed and restored to the state that God originally designed for you, in the name of Jesus.

Lots of love

Please op, do you live in Chicago? I know a lady from Cameroon currently facing the same thing. Meanwhile, you are not alone, I'm also suffering from this but not too deep. Thanks a lot for this thread.

Let me share what I got from Treating Depression Naturally
I hope it helps somebody



Top 3 signs of depression

Look, there are lots of lists of depression symptoms that can be interpreted in different ways. Here is the standard list

Dark mood swings. Insomnia. Loss of appetite. Too much sleep. Loss of energy or fatigue. Lack of enjoyment of things you used to enjoy. Feeling despair or despondency. Feelings of meaninglessness emptiness. Suicidal thoughts. Let's discuss the top three symptoms, in my view:

1. Dark mood swings. This includes feeling hopeless, despondent, meaningless and empty. For me, it meant everything just seemed bleak in my life. I didn't feel that way all the time, but I felt it strongly at various times of the day, usually when I was alone or by myself before and after work. Work distracted me from depression, for the most part. Being alone seemed to generally heighten my sensitivity to negative feelings.

If you have dark mood swings that occur once or more per day, and that last for 7 days or more, you are depressed, in my view. Dark mood swings can be vicious! Your whole world can start to look dark and threatening or unpleasant and burdensome.

2. Lack of energy/fatigue. Another major symptom of depression is low energy. It's hard to get out of bed. You may just want to nap a lot. You often just don't feel like doing anything, so you end up sitting around a lot doing nothing, which can be depressing in itself.

If you have felt a loss of energy and a growing fatigue for more than a week, you are likely depressed (unless related to an illness like the flu, of course). Feeling like your energy is sapping away is VERY depressing. This depression symptom also includes feeling joyless or not getting pleasure from things that used to give you pleasure. It's almost like joy takes energy, and you just don't got much. Ugly, isn't it?

3. Suicidal thought and feelings. Remember those dark mood swings mentioned above? Well, when you're in one for long enough (which can just be ten minutes!), you can start to think suicide would be better than feeling this ugly and bad for much longer.

Suicidal thoughts are clearly a top depression symptom. And let's be very clear. If you are having suicidal thoughts, and feeling sometimes like maybe you should end it all, you are depressed, and it is the disease of depression that is causing those thoughts and feelings, its not you!

Hun,
have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror? try it , get a mirror and look at yourself long and hard ,when you do what/who do you see looking back at you ?

i'm hoping that you will find that the person staring back at you is no looser, the person staring back at you will be someone who is selfless, a strong person who has had the strength to recognize that there is a problem and has had the sense, the mind to invite other people who might be in the same situation , who is giving others in a similar situation a platform to air their feelings of vulnerability their emotions.

Do you know that by starting this thread you might have saved a life or two? do you know that by starting this thread , some people will finally start realizing that they are not alone.

Learn to self appreciate , this is very crucial , there must be something that you appreciate in yourself , recognize people around you who have a a negative aura ,avoid them, they will never encourage you to see the brighter side of things.

You might not think anything of yourself , all you can see are negatives because we humans are our own best critics , we can single handedly run ourselves down, we humans literally hand people what they use to run us down unknowingly because of the way we carry ourselves but i tell you there is someone out there who will give everything and anything to be you FOR A DAY, believe that .

i have learnt to appreciate ME, i might not have millions, not the best job or whatever but I'll be damned if i feel nothing but pride in the little I've been able to achieve.

what makes you happy?? think about it, what makes you happy? list them, write it on a piece of paper, it could be people , things, just anything , what makes you happy ? there must be something that can put a smile on your face.

Try and enjoy the simple things being alive offers you

Curing depression naturally

Now we are going to look at the Good News About Depression, including a 24 hour "cure" you can start today.

The first bit of good news about depression is that it is a learning experience. The pain of depression motivates us to learn and grow. You're taking this mini-course is a way that you are going to learn and increase your emotional intelligence. In the long term, you will be stronger from having had to deal with depression.

The second bit of good news is that Feelings Have Causes. I know this is not groundbreaking information, but you need to consider it.

If you walk into your home and the music or tv is too loud, you likely get irritated. The irritation, that feeling, is caused by the outer circumstance of the noise. Too much noise equals irritation. Turn the music down, the irritation goes away. This is an obvious example.

Okay, so it follows that depressive feelings have causes. Depression has emotional, spiritual, physical, mental and circumstancial causes. Today, we are going to look at physical or biochemical causes of depression that you can begin to heal today!

Here is some powerful emotional intelligence for you. A lot of very powerful feelings are caused by your biochemistry. The firings of your synapses, the balance of your blood sugar, what you eat, etc. For this lesson, we'll focus on what you eat. It is high emotional intelligence to understand that many of your moods and emotions are caused by what you eat.

You can test this out for yourself. Eat four or five doughnuts for breakfast and then tell me how you feel in an hour. No coffee, no stimulants with the doughnuts. Just eat the doughnuts. You'll likely experience the "sugar blues" within an hour. You'll feel tired, sleepy, listless, apathetic. Just from eating doughnuts.

For example, you can have very dark mood swings that are caused by sugar. The first time I experienced depression I was 21 years old. I was having some very dark mood swings "for no apparent reason." I was in school, my life was good, but I felt awful at times. Black. Life seemed bleak and burdensome. I couldn't figure it out.

A doctor told me I probably had low blood sugar, and had me stop eating refined white sugar. In 3 days, I was a completely new man! I had more energy and vitality. I felt much better about my life, and I stopped having dark, black, ugly mood swings from the second day on. Wow!

Who knew that sugar was a culprit behind my depression? I had no idea that food causes emotions. When you eat sugar, it causes a spike in your blood sugar levels. Your body secretes insulin to lower your blood sugar. Too much insulin over too much time causes various bouts of low blood sugar in all of us. Low blood sugar often = dark mood swings.

Now, sugar isn't the only cause of depression, there are many others, but it is a great place everyone should start. There are estimates that about a third of all depression cases can be healed by simple dietary changes. Junk in junk out can apply to depression.

So, now you know a real depression secret. And you can test this out for yourself. Get off sugar for just five days. No sodas, no doughnuts, no cake, nothing with sugar in it. And see for yourself how you start to feel.

Notice an emotional and energy shift. That there may just cure your depression all by itself. And it will likely help, in any event, reducing if not eliminating the frequency and intensity of mood swings.

So can you do it? Depressing just to think about giving up sweets, isn't it? Well, you can still use sweeteners, just not sugar. Go to your local health food store and get natural sugars, like xylitol. stevia and fruit juice sweetened stuff.

There's a lot more to biochemical causes and cures for depression, but this is a good start. You really CAN often cure yourself of depression.

.

Phder: Suffering from Bipolar disorder and GAD (general anxiety disorder), have been on medication since 2009. It's helping a lot.

glad you are getting better

Would really love to be a part of this thread!

Have you tried seeing a psychiatrist?
There are medications for depression, you know
Depression is a disease, just like cancer, AIDS, and what have you.....Too bad we don't understand that in our society!

The Depression Killer Exercise


Today lets look at some of the physical causes of depression and what you can do to counteract them.These are not so much primary causes, but they can help get you into depression or lift you out of it.

One thing is breath. Your brain and your body work best with lots of oxygen. However, when you work in a cubicle and don't get much exercise, it is easy to get less oxygen into your cells over time. This can cause you to feel despondent.

So one thing you should be doing if you are curing your depression is to exercise regularly. 30 minutes a day of some kind of aerobic exercise. Walking, biking, treadmill. Not only will this help you feel more vitality, it will oxygenate your system. This can buffer you against depressive episodes in a short amount of time.

Another thing is posture. Sitting slumped in a cubicle all day long derails your natural vitality. Slumped shoulders and hanging head contribute to feeling low. So notice how you hold your body, sitting or standing. Get in the habit of sitting more straight. When standing, throw your shoulders back some. It really does help.

Regular exercise will help with posture as well. Your body is a finely tuned machine. Take good care of it and it will help you ward off heavy, depressive feelings.

One major benefit of having a relationship with Jesus is that, you will UNDERSTAND your TRUE worth! You will realize how valuable you are and know your purpose, why God created you and your assignment.

When you get busy doing the things He planned for you to do on EARTH, you'll experience total fulfillment and joy