depressionkills:

I kind of know what you mean.
I, too, had to deal with and am still dealing with close-minded relatives who do not understand how devastating depression can be.
I know that I will always be the shame of my mother because while her friends' daughters have already graduated and are getting married, I spend my days bed-ridden crying, sometimes it so bad that even eating seems too hard to do. I constantly feels like a burden and an oddity and even an embarrassment, because I dont understand why I am this way and not 'normal' like other people.

When you say depression to non-depressed people, they immediately think about the fake disease invented by 'weak and soft' white people. They dont think our pain is real because our suffering is not physical and visible to them so they dismiss it as if it didnt exist.
Yet there are a lot of things that we cant see that do exist!!
No one who has ever been depressed can know what depression feels like, NO ONE!! It is terrible a terrible gloom and fog that takes over your soul and taint your reality and mkes you powerless. DONT BLAME YOURSELF FOR THAT.
Depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain that actually affects several parts of the brain and alters the good functioning of a person. So it is like any disease, just as real as cancer.

Maybe you should try and show some literature to your wife about it so that she understands how serious your illness is and share the depth of your distress with her, especially since you just moved to a totally different country and it can take a huge emotional toll on people. Something is certain, if you kill yourself, she will regret it the rest of her life. Tell her how much you need her support, be honest, tell her about your suicidal thoughts, after all when you get married, it is for bets and worst, right??

I know how hard it is to try and communicate your turmoil to others and know that they would never understand what you are going through which makes you feel even more isolated and depressed but dont take it at heart, PLEASE. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT, it is THEIR ignorance. It is a fault in their character, not yours. Dont be ashamed and feel guilty for being made fragile and vulnerable by something beyond your control. It is in our vulnerability that we humans find ourselves, find our strengths and the meaning of life, as Dr Renee Brown would say.

It is not because they do not understand it that your pain is not valid. YOUR PAIN IS VALID, I promise you. Just like the pain of someone SUFFERING FROM cancer or any other physical and non-mentall illness.


Dont be hard on yourself
Please forgive yourself for being imperfect and broken because it is your imperfections that makes you human.
It is not because this world has on mercy on you that you deserve none. Actually you deserve mercy and compassion even more in your fragility.
You are made of star stuff literally, a child of God and the universe and because of that, you will always be loved and cared for *hug*


If you need to talk, I am here, well as long I dont kill myself as well

Pple with depression need love. There're so many causes of depression. First, worry, low self esteem, rape, child abuse, racism, societal ostracism, neglect and segregation, spousal abuse e.t.c. Pple with it shld turn to God and lean on Him even as they seek both medical and spiritual treatment 'cos God is d best physician.

emmog25: Hmmmm this is interesting... The truth is every living being feel depressed, and sometime contemplate sucide. People I want you to know that you are stronger than nature if you can see the inner you... U'll will defeat depression. Jst try and look inwradly... Don't let uncertainty end your life... The most successful person on earth is also scared abt 2mao (because it is so uncertain).

Not true! Not everyone contemplates suicide. I have NEVER contemplated suicide. Yes, it is part of life to feel dissappointed but it is NOT a usual, natural occurrence for every "being" to contemplate suicide.

Plz dnt be depressed--- He knows the plan he has 4 yhu. The plans of gud and not of evil. 2 give yhu a hope and a future. Says ur God----

Lovely thread. Nice job op :-)

Hi, thanks for having a thread like this, am a young man of 27yrs marrif early dis year nd av been blessed with a son, i used to be a very fun person,i have one of the best job nd a car to go wit it. I lost my job jst afta i fixed the date of my wedding, it was ok cos i was sure am gonna get anoda one bt til nw i cnt nd my wife has been taking care of the family,it became embarassing cos of the way her mum tink of me nd luk at everytin i do,anytime she is around she makes me feel very little nd frm then i started shutting the doors of my life to myself,i stay alone nd tink of so many tins nd even wan commit suicide cos so many tins happen as a result of nt having a job again,u knw hw it cn be being a hight flying banker to being jobles nd broke,the only tin i ve i my house nd everytin in it nd the car. So many times i wan go out bt no one to hang out wit cos al my frnds are busy wit there jobs nd no one wil wan listen to ur problems, most times i end up driving to the fields close to my house nd seat there nd cry cos i dnt knw hw i became such an embarasment. I became a burden to ppl around me,my wife has been there bt u culd feel she is nt free to do wat she realy wan do cos of the fear of ha mum.i jst nid ppl to talk to nd hang out wit jst friends cos am scared of fallen into that dark hole of depression.thanks alot to whoeva wan listen.

I've been depressed for some couple of times though. Being a student, I feel it when am broke having problems with some courses and as an Architectural student, not meeting up with the scheduled time to submit my design caused by the lecturer writing redesign on my so many design concepts while the time of submission draws nearer(Architectural student will know what it take to make a design coupled with the modelling). Am not here to lay my academic complaints but how I felt at those moments of trials. Sometimes it felt like Architecture was not my call that I should change to another. Thank God that now am coping and am actually getting better. Just reading through this thread, I found out that I wasn't even suffering anything other than mere stress but forgive me if I still call it depression cos those times felt like it. Am actually feeling for some of us here especially the graduates among us. I've decided to strive harder, top up my games and always positive in whatever I do in other to prevent a lot of depressive issues. May God strengthen us .......Amen.

Nice thread, a lot of people have depression but are not aware of it, while others are afraid to come out and say it because out because they know they will be judged and be treated like an outcast.

I have had it for years, became one lonely person and found it hard to keep friendships couple that with the introvertness.

It got worse last year and my aunt realised early this year, took me to the Psychiatric hospital, have been on medication since and I feel so much better, what I hate is the side effects of the medication sometimes.
When one doesn't go your way you will feel like the world has reached an end, and I felt suicidal but on the brighter side of life, Jesus Christ has all the nukes of my life and whatever that comes my way lately, I just take it to the Lord in prayer. I know that I am not perfect and will never live a flawless life but the Grace of Christ always gives me hope for the second day.

.

.

That's africa for u.

.

onila:

my dear, I thought I was the only one who is going thru this

these days, I have been thinking abt death and I wont be able to live a good life in the future

I really need help

Are you for real You that I have always seen as being lively and wanting to catch fun? Come on. You have a will to live.

onila: Hi, Depressionkills

am kinda feeling ok today

when someone said am a wonderful person

compliments help

I hope yr doing good

Mindfulness meditation is a life saver. It cured my anxiety for me.

Try and get this book if you can or I can email you mine.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Mindfulness-Eight-Week-Finding-Peace-Frantic-ebook/dp/B004TTHD9O/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1384964721&sr=1-2&keywords=mindful

Great topic, going by the above contribution and judging by my day to dat interaction with peoploe I can catrgorically say dat 95% nigerians are depressed.

Am curing mine with reading books and fervent prayers, may GOD help us all.

You know, there is something called middle child syndrome effect in psychology.
I suffered great moments of loneliness and depression, I would even go as far as putting my bb pin every where and on every blog just to see if there would be someone to talk to. I'm the quiet type of guy, so chasing girls is not my thing. I realise girls like the loud and out going type of guys. I became sequestered from all social activities in school, sometimes, I wished I wasn't born in the first place. I read a lot of books, browsed all the time, developed my writing skills, I write poems about my troubles whenever I'm so bothered. I read the prince by machiavelli, I read an islamic book titled Don't BE SAD. But you know what, I realised happiness comes from putting joy in the next mans face. I play with babies, I run (sports), I can say so far, I'm very appreciative to God for all HE has done for me. I visit hospitals, I see very ill people, then I appreciate life again, I try hard to fight my depression, I see its easier to battle with loneliness than cancer for example. If I was blind for instance, I wouldn't be reading this, no matter how hard it is, please just try to keep your head up. I lost a Facebook friend to suicide, and guess what, we became friends the day I wrote an article on suicide on bbc. Never knew he nutured siucidal fantasies. I don't wanna make a screed outta this write up, but just remember always that: there is no need to fear tommorrow. Live like all you have is today, be happy! And you can send me your pin if you feel like talking to somebody. I'm a good listener. Blakky97@yahoo.co.uk, facebook I'd: steady gee

Sigh......Depression is hereditary/genetic in my family (Father's side to be precise).....Mine is manageable with prescription drugs and it's amazing how one can tell the difference. I hope mine will eventually go away for the sake of my unborn kids....Hopefully i can breed this sickness away from my bloodlines by marrying a woman who is not susceptible to depression and maybe it can become recessive in my off-springs.
Exercise also helps.....I think being a reserved, quite and mostly reflective person makes matters worse.......
My name is Tunde Gbajamila, and i'm a recovering NUTTER [kidding]..

I ve learn a lot from dis thread bt in my own situation each time I feel like I ve gotten my life back my family pull me back to my depressed mood and say hurtful words at me, I ve tried suicide bt d thought of going to hell won't let me pls wat do I do?

this is really interesting. When you lost your job and it seems non is coming then you have to depend on your sibling. Those that always look at u for support now see you as nothing. They give different advice that are for teen. But you just av to fight to end and am sure u will be a victor

I understand what it feels like when depressed as I have at some points in life being through it particularly at those state when parents too do not understand and feel one style method fits all children and all situation. My advice to everyone going through such state is try to gain strength from within and also, look for counseling centers where you can get help from.
Lastly, take a long walk, make anonymous friendship on such long walk and talk to the person what the problems are. I tell you, saying out those problems sometimes, help make you feel relieved.
When this does not work, seek counseling over and over again. Note, there is no crime in counseling provided it is from a good psychologist/psychiatrist. Please, do not bear it all alone, it doesn't help.

Wow...@depressionkills, onila and y'all.....i am raising a glass to u tonight...

When i think of heroes, I think of those who fight the greatest battle of all- :the battle of the mind (depression, addiction et al) and refuse to give up! you are HEROES. You are the true champions!


I want u to know that u are stronger than u think u are
That u are more loved than u think u are. I am not just saying this...its straight from the heart.

You are Heroes and indeed you are far MORE than u think you are.


When u fall into those pits of despair and u think u cant go on and you just have to end it all, here is a quote from Lance Amstong : "pain is temporary, it may last a second, an hour, a day, or a year. But it is only for a while. But if you quit, it lasts forever."

Champions dont quit

*nairalanders, raise your glass to the HEROES*

@o.p,i actualy undstd how u feel bcuz am in dz situation nw though i v neva thot of commiting suicide.i feel empty alwz.i have alot on my mind nd nobody to talk to.i feel if i tell my frds,dy wnt undstd so i kip it to myself.nobody rly undstds bt i help myself by praying,reading book nd talkn to a friend helpz.am rly working on myself though i stil need to see a therapist.@o.p,pray,have positive thought nd do sumtin to keep u busy

Am glad I came across ths beautiful thread, it gives mi hope and d fact dat am not alone in this, well makes mi feel a bit btr. Been suffern 4 a long whyl, sumtyms I feel so lonely evn wth ppl around, d emptyness inside mi quite much nd lately iv been tinkn of suicide, bt knwn dat it isn't an option I hv 2 let go. Couple wth a mum dat tink I nvr do d ryt tin no mata hw hard I try. Nways, tnx a bunch 4 all ths gvn us hope here, I wll dfntly follow.

HumbledbYGrace:

What I hate is the side effects of the medication sometimes.

Trust me, I have been dealing with the side effects for years, I stop taking the prescribed medication last year, felt good for some week, but then again I became really bipolar, couldn't make my own decision, couldn't sleep, it became worse that I had to start taking the medication again.

peckhamboi:

Mindfulness meditation is a life saver. It cured my anxiety for me.

Try and get this book if you can or I can email you mine.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Mindfulness-Eight-Week-Finding-Peace-Frantic-ebook/dp/B004TTHD9O/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1384964721&sr=1-2&keywords=mindful

ok! Am interested. Icerex2011@gmail.com

Lyf z swt wen pple around u value ur person...I remember vividly when i was much younger.Precisely, stl in pri skul dat i almost commited suicide since no one was @home..The main reason 4my action was cuz of wat i went through in d hands of my dad..he didnt value me..lil things that happen,he wil flame up nd begin 2scold me...cuz of dat,i hated myself,i did things which a child of my age cnt dream of doin...I lived a rough nd dirty lifestyle...infact,it's as a result of dat,dat 'm avin dx hot temper...sumtymz,i even ask myself,if ama live up2 my destined age!!! Depression z caused by somany fins...I juz op 4 a best future...cuz d way 'm seein fınz hmmm..

Depression can be traced to a particular cause. I think the way out is to trace the cause and prayerfully deal with it.In my opinion depression can only be alleviated medically but sincerely faith in God for better tomorrow and change of circumstance Is the way out.. I was once depressed but God took me out of it and it is gone forever. You see, i broke out of a much treasured relationship.i felt like where do i start from, subsequently i lost 4 immediate family members within period of 4 year, all this coupled with the fact that i have a medical condition that i am battling with but with all this my faith in God was unshakeable. I believed the bible says many are the affliction of the righteous but the Lord delivers him from them all-ps 34 v 19.You see i had strong will to live and i did all to sustain that. I will wake up in the night everyday and prayed. I will bind and loose and i will tell God that i knew He was the only solution, honestly He was the only solution i could see having tried a lot of positive thinking but but did not work.i had book by rev Kenneth hagin titled 'Bible faith study course'.it was my companion.he would teach me how to apply my faith, confession, my thinking all along the word of God and i will begin to get relieved and with the word of God i was able to condition my thought.After i thought oh thank God it was over, it would want to recur but i will run close to the book and read again until i am in control. You see sis and bro run to God get close to a true knowledgeable Christian person surrender your live To God and you will find a new strength and hope for life.Don't let the devil deceive you there nothing in the world that God cannot handle.is it marriage He handled it for me and He will do for you.do you need job consider a business if job is not coming all thatmatter is God should bless u and if u insist. On job He will do it. I am free for live not because of antidepressant or medical effort but God.

Depression is real! I am a victim. I worry a lot, worry about anything and everything. The funny thing is that people look at me and they think I have got everything going on well for me. Became a chartered accountant at 22, I have a good job&people think I should be the happiest person on earth. But deep down within, I know I m very sad. I really don't know the reason.Nothing seem 2 excite me. I find it difficult to sleep sometimes, lot of mood swings.

Ways you can reduce depression: first,you need to make room for happiness what do i mean? Just take out time to give yourself a treat.you deserve it.try to ease the stress by looking for those things that make you laugh.maybe watching a programme leave your worries don't spend so much time on thinking it. 2. Listen to music that you love take a deep breath and out it helps ease the tension.3.watch out what you hear,how you hear and remain positive know that you got no one to believe in you if you never believe in yourself.know you are special you,and remain who you are.dont allow people words or dreams to overcrowd you be yourself.you are who you are different from me.dont loose yourself. I will stop here for now. But at all cost make yourself happy surround yourself with people who make you smile.