After 73 years of marriage, 94-year old
Barbara Cooper knows how to get through
matrimony’s rough patches. The author
of Fall in Love for Life shares her hard-earned
wisdom.
black-couple-holding-each-other

On greeting your partner
“If you want your relationship to survive and to
thrive, you will have to train yourself to focus most
of your attention on the person you love. When
your sweetheart comes into the room, whether it’s
just from taking care of some chores in the garage
or from a long day at work, your job is to put down
whatever you’re doing, look him in the eye, and
verbally express your delight at seeing him again.
It’s really so little to ask, and delivers so much – to
both of you.”

On having affairs
“Some people have affairs because they tell
themselves that they deserve more attention than
they get at home. Or maybe they get annoyed
because they feel that all of their needs aren’t
getting met by their partner. Well, whoever told
them that one person could meet their every need?
You can actually live quite comfortably without
having all of your needs met. Try thinking about it
that way; you might be surprised how liberating it
is. You are not perfect, and neither is your partner,
but you can make a very pleasant life together if
you are both serious about providing the love and
support that go along with a marriage.”

On going from lovers to parents
“It’s true that when your babies are small, there
isn’t much time left over for romantic gestures. But
the wonderful thing about romance is that it is the
quality, never the quantity, that matters. So when
the baby is napping, throw a blanket on the living
room floor, slice some peaches or plums or
whatever you have in the house, pour a glass of
something bubbly, and enjoy a mini picnic. Write
love notes to each other and slip them in between
the clean diapers. Be creative, and if you want your
love to flourish, it certainly will do so.”

On overcoming money problems
“The most important ingredient for getting
through tough economic times is THE TRUTH – it’s
so important it should be capitalized and italicized.
So this means that if you have any financial secrets
you are keeping from your partner, you must put
them on the table. Doesn’t that sound scary?
I am sure it does, but as with so many unpleasant
things that only get bigger and stronger in the
dark, these secrets have a funny way of shrinking
in the light of the truth. And as they get smaller,
your stress and worry will fly away. There’s never a
better time to be honest with your partner and
yourself and make a plan for dealing with your
debts and your excess spending – together. I
promise, you will not regret it.”

On tuning in to your partner
“I think the place where good marriages break
down is when one or both parties begin to take the
other person for granted. And yet it’s
understandable that this happens. Life is
complicated and can be exhausting, so there is
always a temptation when you get home to just
tune out, because home is one place where you
should feel safe enough to let your guard down this
way.
But there’s a difference between relaxing and
disengaging, and while relaxing is a healthy way to
recharge your psychic and spiritual batteries,
disengaging is a drain on you and your
relationships. Nothing is more important than that
you recognize the difference and stay present for
all the people you love.”

On bringing up the past
“The most important lesson I can teach you from
our happy marriage is that we did not rehash. If
something was unpleasant, we got through it,
handled the fallout, and did not bring it up again in
happy times. So we both knew that once a problem
was solved, that was it – we would not have to
answer for it again, at least not in its current form.
And knowing this, we could give all our attention to
fixing the problems that came along, because once
they were fixed, we could forget about them, which
is a very wonderful feeling.”

On making time to make love
“I don’t understand couples who say they are too
busy or too tired to sleep together. Unless they are
building roads all day or running a multi-national
corporation, I expect they have just lost sight of
priorities. If you wish to stay connected and happy
in your marriage, my advice to you is to never be
too tired or too busy to feel love for your partner.
When your life is nearly over, you will regret it if
you look back and recall too many nights when you
made excuses instead of making love.”

On bickering
“The most important thing for any couple trying to
get along is to think before you speak. If you are
bickering and find that you are getting angry, take
a deep breath and change course, and ask your
partner to do the same. Try saying something
conciliatory like, ‘I don’t know why this is making
me so upset, but it is, so can you just humor me
and help me get over it?’ By simply admitting you
are losing your cool, you may find that the anger
quickly dissipates.”

On controlling your anger
“Have you ever noticed that you can’t spell
dangerous without anger? I’m no linguist, but I
don’t think that’s a coincidence. When you’re ready
to blow, you might say anything hurtful, things you
would normally spare the person you love from
hearing. Don’t say something you’ll regret forever.
Don’t give your partner an excuse to come back to
you with his or her own resentments. Instead, find
a way to get your anger under control. For myself, I
simply run through my mind a short movie of how
foolishly I have been acting. You may have better
luck singing a silly song, or patting your head while
rubbing your tummy, or doing whatever little trick
helps bring you outside of yourself long enough to
regain control

www.informationng.com/2013/10/relationships-9-secrets-from-a-73-year-marriage.html

Hmmm....! Na wa o... It now seems World War 3 is not a war of gun again but now a Marriage War!

I love this!
If only these NL 'HOLY NWENJE' do or die PSYCHOS will read and understand!

On having affairs
“Some people have affairs because they tell
themselves that they deserve more attention than
they get at home. Or maybe they get annoyed
because they feel that all of their needs aren’t
getting met by their partner.

[size=20pt]Well, whoever told
them that one person could meet their every need?[/size]

You can actually live quite comfortably without
having all of your needs met.

[size=20pt]Try thinking about it
that way; you might be surprised how liberating it
is.[/size]

You are not perfect, and neither is your partner,
but you can make a very pleasant life together if
you are both serious about providing the love and
support that go along with a marriage.”

GBAM!
Na rocket science?
Nor mind all these 'KOKOYE' boys and girls wey nor get experience in such matters. . . .AWON 'LES MISERABLES'!

Only for those who believe in a GOD that never PHOCKS, but wanno tell you how to PHOCK with a 'TROJAN HORSE OF A FREE WILL'!!!! The ALMIGHTY INDIAN-GIVER-GOD of EVERLASTING MERCIES!

Sheeeeeeeeeeeeesh!!!!

I am not interested A-NAL SEX! Period! That na one need I CAN NEVER 'FIT TO MEET' O!
Over to the leaking 'IKEBE DRUMS' please!
Thank you!


*time for work don reaaaaaaaaaaaaash? Hallelujah!!! LOGGING OFF THE DAMN NET*

LMAO @ Leaking ikebe drums. Dis backdoor and double entry thingy na waya o