Xplicit.:
Don't blame her too much, blame d way she was brought up. When she goes to shops & find them every were, she'll get use 2 d system & start believin what u said. In no distant tym she'll kum to apologize. Give her tym. Meanwhile, how is America?

bigheart2013:
How can anyone be talking about 'juju' in the USA -what do you need it for - to attract spouse, money, or protection from what abeg?

bellong:

You think there are no spiritualists or juju loving people in the USA?

bigheart2013:

Yea you are right. Many Haitians practice voo-doo here. Few years ago they arrested an African man at the airport bringing in dried animals and fetish items into USA for spiritual purposes. I also heard that some Nigerians in the UK are way into the practice there.

But can't you see what all this group of people mentioned have in common?...they are black, or African decent, usually the poorest and the most unproductive in any community they live in, even abroad. The most successful Nigerians/ Africans abroad are usually the least religious ones.

bebe2:

Eh eh eh park am there. Which uk? Abi u mean italy.

bigheart2013: My people, like many Americans I prefer scented colored candles (Red/ garden orchid scents) to oil air-fresheners in the house, which I’m allergic to. Many families in USA decorate their houses with these scented colored candles available in almost every shop. Even American ladies love them when they visit. These are the most popular air-fresheners in USA. However, my friend’s wife who recently came from Nigeria has warned him not to visit me again calling me an occultist, & secret society member because she saw burnt colored candles in my house. This is very judgmental and a display of frivolous superstition by a very ignorant woman. Is it because the candle is colored? A more than 10years+ friendship is about to end because of what I describe as a ‘self-righteous timid woman’ with unrefined prejudice (pardon my use of angry words).

My friend shared this with me confidentially as why he hasn’t been coming around because he doesn’t want to start a conflict with his new wife. He's been trying quietly to convince her to give up her several uncivilized prejudices/ superstitions from Africa, but apparently she appears to be holier than everyone else, as usual reeling out bible quotations to justify her mediocrity. I’m a Catholic, decent and educated. I feel very insulted because this is how rumors circulate in Nigeria, once she gives a bogus testimony at her church of how she delivered her husband from an occult friend, then my name and reputation will be gone. I'm angry at self-righteous, ignorant people destroying friendships and families with their prejudice.

Please how do I handle this to save this age-old friendship, and stop this woman from soiling my name before they start calling me an occultist/ wizard, and nobody will accept a gift from me back home again? Some people in Nigeria are too judgmental.

Efemena_xy:

Illiteracy is indeed a crime.... Trust me, if she's capable of accusing you of engaging in occultism, nothing stops her from saying you don't wish her marriage well / you're jealous / tying down her husband.

bigheart2013:

Honestly I am more concerned about my name than the friendship. You can imagine if this craps makes rounds back home. I've seen a lady who claimed she's repented & became born-again, mount a podium in a church during 'testimony time' and spills out (confesses) what's been going on between her and her boss (where they slept, how many times, what he bought for her, what he tells her about other managers..etc), the man's career went to the drains from there.

Sometimes too I feel that most pastors should hear some testimonies/ confessions privately first like the Catholic church does, than letting people mount podium on impulse to destroy others.

Efemena_xy:

You do know that if that's what she intends to do, there's nothing you can do about it - yes?

Re: the bolded bit... For real??

salsera:

And about juju not being native to US, abeg wisdom there. Na Africans teach Us Halloween? Check the real origins of it na serious fear of witch start am.

The aim is still the same human being talking to a spirit to get knowledge for someone else, and that someone pays money for it.
The only difference na say oyinbo babalawo get washing machine and pays tax.

bigheart2013:

Real and live! People hailed, clapped, shouted praise, but someone's life was ruined forever. Sometimes it's better to stay way from certain types of people. All they bring is bad news in your life..

pickabeau1:

People clapped when someone confessed she slept with a married man..?

church is showbiz

bigheart2013:

You said it all in your last paragraph!! Halloween is a celebration of an age-long believe that witches & wizards make an outing in the night. Apart from having fun and make jokes of witches/wizards people don't take it serious and nobody accuses another of witchcraft in USA. USA is a conglomeration of cultures from different parts of the world.

The difference in Nigeria is that people believe it and believe in it. They take it serious, even churches in Nigeria form beliefs and instill fear around witches/ wizards and make money out of it. So while calling someone a wizard in USA will only attract laughter, in Nigeria it's taken seriously because people believe it. I know many ladies in Nigeria who believe that spirits and witchcraft by their colleagues, rather than their bad attitude, are behind their not getting married. Even some Nig men believe witchcraft, rather than their habitual dishonesty, is behind their hardships.

bigheart2013: My people, like many Americans I prefer scented colored candles (Red/ garden orchid scents) to oil air-fresheners in the house, which I’m allergic to. Many families in USA decorate their houses with these scented colored candles available in almost every shop. Even American ladies love them when they visit. These are the most popular air-fresheners in USA. However, my friend’s wife who recently came from Nigeria has warned him not to visit me again calling me an occultist, & secret society member because she saw burnt colored candles in my house. This is very judgmental and a display of frivolous superstition by a very ignorant woman. Is it because the candle is colored? A more than 10years+ friendship is about to end because of what I describe as a ‘self-righteous timid woman’ with unrefined prejudice (pardon my use of angry words).

My friend shared this with me confidentially as why he hasn’t been coming around because he doesn’t want to start a conflict with his new wife. He's been trying quietly to convince her to give up her several uncivilized prejudices/ superstitions from Africa, but apparently she appears to be holier than everyone else, as usual reeling out bible quotations to justify her mediocrity. I’m a Catholic, decent and educated. I feel very insulted because this is how rumors circulate in Nigeria, once she gives a bogus testimony at her church of how she delivered her husband from an occult friend, then my name and reputation will be gone. I'm angry at self-righteous, ignorant people destroying friendships and families with their prejudice.

Please how do I handle this to save this age-old friendship, and stop this woman from soiling my name before they start calling me an occultist/ wizard, and nobody will accept a gift from me back home again? Some people in Nigeria are too judgmental.

bellong:

You think there are no spiritualists or juju loving people in the USA?

xtassie: . The guy is a full blown nigerian forming american citizen he even used pidgin english sef 'abeg'

bigheart2013: my friend’s wife who recently came from Nigeria has warned him not to visit me again calling me an occultist, & secret society member because she saw burnt colored candles in my house. This is very judgmental and a display of frivolous superstition by a very ignorant woman. Is it because the candle is colored? A more than 10years+ friendship is about to end because of what I describe as a ‘self-righteous timid woman’ with unrefined prejudice (pardon my use of angry words).

Some people in Nigeria are too judgmental.

Mamacita007:

You have a bad impression of her wat do u expect? i prefer scented candles even in the summer that my former roommates used to complain. i dont believe ur story one bit becos scented candles are usually in a nice container & even the single coloured ones dont look like the type they use in naija movies for prayers. my sister always buys scented candles from UK & they rush it back home. even if she's ignorant, why dont you jokingly explain that you love candles in front of your friend & make her understand becos maybe you dont know but you sound judgmental too. she's ignorant means she doesn't know.

bigheart2013:

1. No please! Not all candles (scented or unscented) are in containers, otherwise walmart and other deco shops won't be selling candle holders. If you haven't seen one before ask questions.
2. On making joke with her, please no smart man get's into a direct communication with his friend's wife if you have respect for your friend. If you see anyone doing that, please caution him, it's unethical and can breed trust issues. A decent man communicates with his friend's wife through his friend (her husband). It's a mark of respect for the family. Eg. If your friend's wife dressed beautifully you don't admire her directly, you tell your friend that his wife is looking beautiful. Moreover, you cannot explain to someone who didn't ask you. She didn't talk to me, she spoke with her husband. Whom should I tell her told me?

Now you can see you rush to conclusions.

soul_glo:


You have got to be kidding? I think you have woman issues. No offense

Royal Roy:

Big time showbiz.

What with all these jerry curling and bling-bling wearing pastors.

veave: sowie dear... you can be my fwend if you're lonely... @least am not scared of red or yellow candles... so long as its not the 'black' one...