At a point in our lives, we might often have come across phrases like ‘Oh he is from so…so…place,’ or ‘People from such and such ethnicity are so.’ Thus the question need be asked whether tribe or ethnicity has effect on how we run our relationship with others. We cannot rule out the power of social influence in determining our outlook to life. Ibo girls are often regarded as being money-conscious, Yoruba girls are said to be too loose, Ibo men are considered too crude, African men generally are tagged as being unromantic and Calabar folks are seen as insatiable nymphos. No matter how we look at it or which class of people, something is attached to them negatively…even whites (Caucasians) are said to be so emotionally fraught a gun is the pill to settle love scores.

First question is thus, where is that ethnic class of people that are without any negative comment really? None. Whether an Ewe, Idoma, Hausa or Birom, there is always something to be said about a people. Secondly, how come such cross-ethnic relationships are still on the rise, than even what we had in the past, especially here in Nigeria? This xenophobic mentality, I believe, was a trait inherited from past generations who found anything beyond the ordinary a threat to their social mentality and deserving jingoistic scoffs. Even among the Yoruba or Ibo or any such large tribes, one would still find cases of a dude from Ibadan discriminated by those from Abeokuta and someone from Imo could be at the mercy of someone from Enugu or vice versa.

As much as it is easy to say an individual should not be judged by tribe, we should also not forget that sometimes the individual allows the tribe to lay upon him/her a kind of siege whereby he hence finds himself bending to tribal sway. An Ibo girl could fall victim to the harassment in her society whereby she sees Kelechi hanging out with a man who spends lavishly on her, thus our Ibo girl could then begin harassing her low-income-earner man to do what his mates are doing. An Ibo guy could also chose to do what his mates are doing, be it ritual or yahoo plus, to be in the trend of a society that judges you with the SUV you drive or the mansion erected in your hometown…ostensibly falling victim to societal influence unconsciously.

Unlike the more traditionally strict Ibo society, the southwest Yoruba are more liberal with tradition and this is obvious when it comes to marriage as it is commonly said by them, ‘we don’t sell our girls.’ This female liberty could be abused if a girl falls into a circle of friends no better than a pack of gaggling geese. Friends who talk nothing but excessive partying, damning your guy’s decision, behaving like ‘yea, I can still go back to my parent or leave you’ without a care in the world, or even enjoying life by cheating.

There is also talks that the white man is better than an African; why? Because God planted a chip in some race and not in others? No. It is still the influence of society. Not like the physiological keratin of skin color that a race has and another does not. Love is something we build, romance is an art or skill developed overtime and can be done by any man Hindi, black or red. The fact is the developed society is not as harsh on the mentality than the society the average African finds himself…don’t be fooled by the African who drives an SUV, society is also taking its toll on him/her..

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