•continues story•
"Mary relax now"I said
"Pay me my money you this yeye man"
"Ok take this five thousand naira I go give u the rest later I no hold reach 10k here biko"I pleaded
She snatched the 5k and pointed to a post on the wall it read
"Sorry no credit today come tomorrow"
"When you dey suck bobby u knw abi?you go produce the money ryt here"she shouted in anger
"So as you fine lyk foreign witch you also wicked lyk local witch"I said
............................................................................
Kukurukuuuuuu
A chicken crowed from the next compound
I got up looked at the time it was 2 am
"This fowl na witch o,see time e take dey crow"I said
I layed down to sleep but ruki's snorr kept me wide awake
"Oohhhhh'
"Wey you use ur belle sleep na see as you dey snorr lyk pisin wey dey service kpekus 4 dream"I said
He rolled and continue playing his music
It was so unbearable so I got up opened ruki's locker and searched for it!
I opened the door and sat at our door step and lit the igbo«weed»I stole from ruki's locker
Early mawin kpo sweet pass kpekus I said to my self.
as I smoked I recalled how I was rounded up by up to 10 ashawo's and r.aped!!
"Kia those Asha's no get consciense see as them weyley my john thomas" I said feeling sorry for my manh.ood
"Them naked me like person wey steal blackberry!!!chai marry na God go punish you"I shouted aloud
As weed began to take effect on me I started a song
"Come carry me go my hux o cuz I no one Bleep up for this place ooo,I don 2 shayo o oo..."I sang
"Shut uppppp you gey mad you no knw wetin tym b??!!!"I could hear other tenants scream
It only gave me more inspiration I changed my song
"Today,today 2morrow no more if I die 2day I go die no more..."
"2pac your papa!!!"I heard curses
...............................
"2pac fire!fire!fire!"I heard ruki's voice from dreamland
I got up with a stat
"Where the fire na?"I asked
"Olodo go baff make we dey church"ruki said laughing
"The day wey I go use you do ritual dey come"I said walking away to the bathroom
Our bathroom is shared by every one in the compound
On getting to the bathroom someone was there already.so I waited,after like 10 mins the person was still not out so I decided to peep through a small opening
Behold lucy a copper in our compoud was in but instead of bathing she was masturbating!!
Chai see benin firm
I stared at her watching keenly
"2paccccccccccc"
Our land lord screamed bring me back to reality
I turned with my john thomas about to break out from my boxers
"Na wetin you dey do there"he asked
"Hmm I dey watch match"I said confused!!!

"Na who and who dey play"he asked bring down his voice
"Me no 2 sabi basket ball come check urself"I said
He came closer and tried to peep
Immediately lucy opened the door and poured her bucket of water on him!!
"Ewoooo"he screamed
"Yeye man"she hissed
I took to my heels

"You never baff?"Ruki asked
"Omo if you see wetin happen now ehh you go sow seed for my life now"I said
"Abeg I no one hear yare make we dey go church"he said
I dressed up in a flash looking at the mirror I said
"Swaga of a militant babes go suffer today"
On getting to church we sat at the back pew

"Turn to your neighbour and say b4 the end of the week you shall get a new car"the pastor said
I turned and saw the guy sitting next to me the guy face b like obituary this one na theif o I said in my mind
The service progressed and came to the part y we came to church!!offering time!!!!
When it got to my turn I danced like an epileptic patient on getting to the offering box I dropped 10 naira and collected 1000 naira note from the offering box!!its called foreign exchange
I and ruki had perfected the act so well that its very had for you to know in a matter of seconds we would exchange it!!
Ruki also did the same !!we did that for all offering that day!!it was time for thanksgiving I was satisfied with my loot so I didn't go but ruki stood and danced to the alter alond with other members
As he dipped his hand into the offering box,the pastor suddenly said
"Hey theif stop there!!!"

Astro u funny die..i dey feel u...more parcels of kpoli 4 u...if only u kud update more regularly....twuale oko

Cvesta: Astro u funny die..i dey feel u...more parcels of kpoli 4 u...if only u kud update more regularly....twuale oko

me go try update if them comment

Diz tori don dey sweet me die... So hilarious!!!

astronautog: me go try update if them comment

bros no reason am...we dey feel u die...me na strong Paper Boi fan,so i dey always feel d way u drop ur story..dis na lik ur 4th story i dey read...but all dos 1 update in 2wiks dey dull me...anyhow u 2much....e no easy....mre Parcels of spleef n Rizla 4u

new update loading......

astronautog: new update loading......

we stil dey wait oo

tolam4skywd: bro u still carry ur colour writin come here... Abeg no blind me ooo

I Never even start to use Colours sef u don dey complain !!

Rick9: I Never even start to use Colours sef u don dey complain !!

no come here they form joseph o with ur coat of many colors o

Astro i go shoot u go sky oo! O boi u funny die. Thumbs up!

https://www.nairaland.com/1523938/washing-setting-unizik-fine-boy

Check dis my story i just started out..show some love

Nd warri 2pac we dey wait u ooo!

stealing from God is a very grave sin,that i know but taking from God is no sin..................
from where i sat in the church i knew ruki had been caught so i surveyed the church looking for the safest exist.
ruki was rounded up by the ushers and was given a mic y the pastor interviewed him
"stealing from the offering box?"the pastor said
"its the devil sir"ruki replied
"spirit of stealing!"
by now the church had become noisy everybody wanted to see
"well we are going to pray for you and then flog out the devil from you"the pastor said
on hearing that like judas to jesus i kissed ruki goodbye and fled the scene.


i ran home b4 i would be identified as one of the disciples
"na wetin they worry una self y u dey run like say u miss rapture"our land lord inquired
"notin o na just say shiit dey catch me"i lied
getting to our room the door was open
"ha dis guy no lock door ni?"i wondered
jesuuuuuuuuuu
"ruki you first me reach house??abi na ur ghost b dis"
i asked
"omo na me flesh and blood ooooo"he said still breathing heavily
"how you take comot con run pass me self??"
"as them close eye begin pray na em i port oo b4 i go enter armed robber moto"ruki replied
"i no knw where you 4 learn that habbit y u no b like me wey no dey theif"i said
"ur papa left yanshh"ruki said
"na my papa u dey insult?"i asked furious
"sorry no vex ur mama left yansh"he replied
i grabbed him,just then there was a knock at the door.
bang bang bang
chei na here my fowl take lay cooked egg??i wondered
"na who b that i asked"
there was no reply
bang bang the person kept hitting
in fear i climbed into the ceiling saying to ruki"na ur mess up so treat am"
from my place of hiding i heared ruki open the door
"boko haram"ruki screamed
"chei na that zombie self"i hissed
boko haram was the nick name we gave to a copper "musa" who was posted from the north to serve in waff town
i jumped down angryily "na wetin u want i asked?"
he continued nodding to the music coming from his beat by nnemeka and sons head phone.
"bokoooooo wetin u want" i said aloud
"sorry no vex help me with corn flakes"he said
"go take 4 that bag "i said pointing to a sack
"na garri i talk o no b cassava??"he said
"ur papa come on dissappear from here "i said
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

"hmmmmm,yeye baby yeye" i moaned slowly as she licked my john thomas instantly my jimmy regained himself and stood up
she brought him out and sucked him mad
"take am easy o jare"i said slowly
she continued and i was enjoying every moment of it.
kukuruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
"that witch fowl again"i thought
i opened my eyes it was still dark
"na wa o no b dream oo"i said in my mind
"but i no carry any ashawoo come house na"i wondered
"jessuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu"i screamed loud enough for the whole world to hear
"rukiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii"

hmmm

Businesslocator: hmmm

throat dey pain you??that na comment?

astronautog: throat dey pain you??that na comment?

Lool...nice story boss
I'm writing a story too
Can i drop a link?

Una no one comment abi?oya mod close this thread jare

U knw wan acknowledge our presence na

O gat about 3 uncompleted stories so am gona try and complete all so I would be updating every 2 days!!yes 2 days interval

"YEeeeeee"
"Ruki u b gay"I shouted
"Na today u die"I said grabing by the neck
We fought and quarreled,people gathered and we where later separated!!
I took my bath and headed to work!!
I was darm late the time was 10:15 am I was suppose to report for duty by 7:30 am
I got to the gate I saw my boss there
So I greeted!!
"Good morning sir"
"What's good about the morning "he replied
"Y are you just coming"
"Emm oga u no go believe wetin happen wey make me late"I said
"Just cut the crap and go back to where u are coming from,you are fired!!"He said
"Fire?no e neva reach fire o oga abeg hear me out"I said
He walked away and banged the door!!!
Ahhh na die I dey ooo ahhh
So am now jobless but that man no get manner of approach o na so them dey fire person??I asked myself
............................
I retired to a beer parlour drank away my sorrows by now it was 9pm and I was flying due to excess alcohol I decided to go home,I paid the bills and stopped a bus!
"Where?"
"Ejeba"
"Oya enter quick"
I jumped in thanking my star I found a bus so quick
Ten minutes into the trip
"Hope all of una hold una atm card here o"the conductor announced
"Atm ni?wetin that 1 mean na"a man asked
"E mean say una don enter one chance"a guy from the back said bringing out an ak47 riffle
This na y I no dey drink star o!!I said to my self watching as this movie unfolded!!
They dragged us to an atm and told us to check balance then withdraw!!!one by one!!!
We where divided into 2 groups those that had atm and those that did not have!!
I fell into the group of those that had!!
Getting to my turn to withdraw
"Bros na the last cash 4 my life dey that acct o abeg try reason me na hustler like u na"I said
"O u tink say na toy gun I carry so?bullet na 20 naira o!!"He said pointing the gun to my head
"All die na die "I said sloting my card to the machine
I checked my balance it read
"5500 naira"
"Oya withdraw am sharperly"the guy said
"U no get conscience?"I asked
I got a slap 4 that
I withdrew 5k and gave to him
"4 d 5h come on withdraw am my friend"he ordered
"Ahhh even if na abasa juju u chop I no withdaw that last 5h all die na die"I said furious...........
»U no what happened next na«

update fast fast before i slap you join your grave make d robbers don put u.u try well well

merit12: update fast fast before i slap you join your grave make d robbers don put u.u try well well

lol

([color=#550000][/color] A very nice story line, captivating, but you shouldn't have used the word or name blackaxxx on it, try work on that area and also try and make ur slangs legible

yeah back from a month ban......
story continues.......

astronautog: yeah back from a month ban......
story continues.......

Guy abeg come continue

astronautog: Una no one comment abi?oya mod close this thread jare

oga astronaut if u watch uduak thread 4 example,u go see say na d way he tak dey update naim mak comments excess dia...if u go ft dey drop lyk 3 updates a day,i swear ur thread wil neva remain d same

Chimaritoponcho:
oga astronaut if u watch uduak thread 4 example,u go see say na d way he tak dey update naim mak comments excess dia...if u go ft dey drop lyk 3 updates a day,i swear ur thread wil neva remain d same

ok baba I go start 2morow

astronautog: ok baba I go start 2morow

tmoro don come o..oya sama us update

Hahaha,thumbs up on this! more updates abeg...