Hi all,
I can't just express howi feel when i went through your statement all, is good to study your man carefully which is very nice. i admire you all expecialy when you mention my country Nigeria hope you have an evalasting life with your guy. love you all

@jas_o

thanks for your kind words. through my boyfriend i have come to love nigeria and nigerians of all ages. your people have a lot of peace inside them, even though your country has some major problems with nepa, never mind the corrupt police and politicians. i hope to visit there some day, but as an american girl i don't know how i would handle the power being off all the time. it would make me crazy, as i'm sure it does all nigerians.

well Montana as a human beings i think every country has their own wahala i mean problem !! yes some people despite all the wahala in iraq still think its worth it to go and work there !! hmmm wonder why!
just like nigerias will worry about gttin their a$$ blowed up in usa high street ! or gettin stabbed in racial violence in usa!!

so Montana thanks for ur concern

cucchi
It doesnt really matter, black or white. the most important thing is your happiness with the man, if he is nice, caring loves you the way you love him then you go ahead. am black and am a nigerian. i really want to have a relationship/ married with a white girl. if any is interested then here is my email. oj62002@yahoo.com.
Ojay

i have no absolute problem with this and i wish you the best in your love life, i hope hell be able to give u wat u lost in ur ex!! bt i must say I absolutely hate it when us nigerian girls date foreign men and tongues start lashing!!

Remember, what ever you do (good or bad), tongues will always lash. But you knowwhat you want, and going for it is the ultimate thing.

yes, ah me i dnt care bout what people say really its just something I hate!! Thanx for your wise words

U r welcome. The best way to enjoy this life is doing that which pleases you, not minding whose ox is gored. like minds they say, think alike, i guess we are like minds & am happy meeting you here. though its my firstime but am really catching fun and you are making the stay here whortwhile. Bigger thankyou for your repplies.

no probs good lukin out

Mantana, all you need tyo do is whenever you are comming just come along with your generator. thats all

its been really interestin to hear what everyone thinks if interacial dating. thanks for all your kind words. i'll be visiting Nigeria next year adn hope the people i meet are as opened mined as most have u have been

Well, if you're planning to marry this man, his relatives in Nigeria will probably not be open-minded at all.

well he's asked me already. his mum knows about me and does not have a problem. as long as i look after my man all should be good. i can even cook a couple of nigerian dishes lol

As long as the woman is good to the man thats all that matters. Women who are trouble, have attitudes (can come in any color) and aren't worth anyones time.

My last girlfriend was white, very good girlfriend. Very kind and decent. I took her to my sisters wedding. Majority of my relatives were nice to her, grooms friends acted like stupid heyanas. Like they never saw a white person before. I felt like doing something to them.  

To each his own. I'm no longer with her but it was a great realtionship.

for me to say i no go fire oyibo thing if she manage to jingle my bell go be lie but one thing to say i go marry am i no no about that one ooooooo!! of because i never see west europian president in my life time marry blk woman as fine as blk dey na wahooo, no even wan see dat in de 1st place !! oh i think as a nigeria we shuld respect!! that abi so i think Nigerians shuld marry nigerians !! irrespective of your tribe dnt care what that white lady think !! history done show we nigerians there are a lot of passer passer going under in the world as a globe!so whether they go welcome u or not shuld not matter of because your people are not that welcome ! are they?

as for these emmm something ! oj62002  i be like say u dey tasty for oyibo ototo!! hahha hey hah! na wooo! na escape route bi that ! hmmm or na discharge nkuoo. watch him as long as u are happy do what ever u want! well my friend u might as well go barakata man back side na gay!! hmm stay happy !! however there is a warnin u  can stay away from nigeria with your gay lord bishop !

@ superman

i am concerned about nigerians. i don't think 99% of other people in the world know what you guys have to deal with over there as far as your electricity situation and the police corruption goes. i've only learned about it myself due to my interset in nigeria which comes from having a nigerian boyfriend. all the pics i've seen of nigeria are so beautiful and i would love to visit there. the part of the US that i live in is so quiet and safe, that most times the outside world doesn't touch us much. but nigeria and nigerians have touched my heart in the past 3 months, and i thank them all for that.

just dey wonder all the news wed dey come out from iraq day by day! rape , beatin etc! the latest is the massacre when one soldier was killed and the whole city was burn down! evil! hmmm or talk about how karina fund was embelzelled by the goverment !! hmm 419!! the crime in  new york! shootin !! povety in the neighbour hood !! millioniare celebrity stealin from the mega shop! wonder how quite that neighbourhood of yours is

Montana !! ha just wonderin !or how much more will africa be suked up just your subtenance haaaaaaaaa na wooooo

nigeria and america are country in the planent called earth

@superman

i wasn't saying we don't get the world news here or that bad things don't happen everywhere else in the world. jeez, lighten up. i like to learn about other countries, not bash them. i was just saying i happy to be learning about nigerians, their culture and the country. most people on nairaland have been very kind.

@Topic

I find it very interesting how black people in nairaland support this white Cucchi in her relationship with a brethren Nigerian man. However, when a AA sister comes in here and tells the story of how she is with a Nigerian man, she gets told things like the Nigerian man is using her, or that they are culturally different, when the thing is, any black person would be more compatible with another black person way before a white person would be. Why are you guys lying to this White Cucchi? Why do black people always feel the need to support and comfort white people even to the point of lying to them.

@Cucchi, the Nigerian brother is only using your for uninhibited sex, I am sure you give it to him in a way that our Africans sisters are afraid to give it to him. You are wasting your time, that Nigerian brother is infatuated with you, you are a living dream for him. Trust and believe, when he awakes from that living dream of white Cucchi, he will be sneaking around on the side getting him some of that Black Cucchi real soon. You are an infatuation for him, he probably needs papers and his family is probably in on it. Nigerian family's would never truly accept a white woman for their son, it just won't happen unless its out of convenience.

I know white men are boring and black men are the best but I think you need to learn to tolerate white men because they are your natural counterpart. Why don't you take what you learned from the Nigerian brother and go back to your white man and teach him what it means to have soul.

You said you wanted to know what people think, well there it is, no holds barred.

Sista, there you again very blunt and funny would love to have a one on one chat with you someday dat is if you are on msn or yim

@Gaby

Sista, there you again very blunt and funny would love to have a one on one chat with you someday that is if you are on msn or yim

No baby, not on YIM but that don't have to stop us from talking though. I have an email you know?

I just love my people and I don't like for them to be fooled, you know we have been fooled long enough? I am glad you appreciate my being blunt and exposing the plane old truth. I am also glad you have a good sense of humor

Email me anytime okay?

Sista:

I find it very interesting how black people in nairaland support this white Cucchi in her relationship with a brethren Nigerian man. However, when a AA sister comes in here and tells the story of how she is with a Nigerian man, she gets told things like the Nigerian man is using her, or that they are culturally different, when the thing is, any black person would be more compatible with another black person way before a white person would be. Why are you guys lying to this White Cucchi? Why do black people always feel the need to support and comfort white people even to the point of lying to them.

Interesting. Are you saying this b/c of what you've observed ppl saying to A.A. women on NL or b/c of what they've said to you? Really I don't think there's a face-to-face comparison for this.

I do think people find what they're looking for though. For instance, in the last few months there's been a rash of black women, American and Caribbean, (i.e., Jessilina, BigSis but there are others) coming on NL to dogg out Nigerians & Naija men so they get what they obviously came for -- a dogg fight.

However most white women come on for moral support, information, and/or to speak glowingly of Nigerians and/or Nigerian men. Few people can resist that sort of bold flattery and even fewer try. So those women too get what they're looking for -- a "thank you" for the validation they supplied to so many who are unsure about looks, income, career, (their new) identity and future.

Simple huh?

@Chinani


Something is wrong with my Java scripts so I can not quote you. If you know what is wrong with my Java scripts, please tell me. Being in nairaland without the ability to quote is useless.

Any way, no, I was not saying what I said because of what they have said to me. I remember this one AA woman who came in here for support, she said she was in love with this nigerian man but that she had been hearing some rumors about nigerian men. She talked about how in love they are but she also expressed some of her concerns. She made it very clear that she loved that nigerian man. Some of the sisters in nairaland was telling her that the rumors are true but not for all nigerian men, they were telling her to be careful however becuase when a nigerian man dates outside of nigerian women, he is more than likely to be doing it for the papers.

Another woman came in here, she was a white woman, she talked about how her nigerian man cheated on her with a woman down the street, or somethng like that, and got the woman pregnate. She went on and talked about how she had to find out in the streets that another woman was having her husbands baby. Nairaland members consoled her and told her they were sorry. None of them told her that he only used her for the papers and he never really loved her.

Also, of course white women flatter black men but that does not mean that black people should let flattery cloud them from telling white women the truth. To me, this shows that we validate our beauty by what people otside of the black race think about us. If they are going to give this woman advice, they should give her the advice the same way they gave it to the AA woman, from an objective and subjective point of view. Un my opinion, people in nairaland were jsut telling this white womna what she wanted to hear. At the same time, they were telling the AA woman something that may have caused her to loose hope. We black people love to hurt each other while we nuture and care for everyone else.

One woman was married the other woman not.
The have different stories,
Are we to tell the married woman "anyway he only married you for paper" ?
That will be adding salt.
The other woman is not yet married so one can advise her to be careful.
not everything is black and white.

Sista:

Something is wrong with my Java scripts so I can not quote you. If you know what is wrong with my Java scripts, please tell me. Being in nairaland without the ability to quote is useless.

I'm computer dumb, but I think it'll be temporary.

Sista:
Any way, no, I was not saying what I said because of what they have said to me. I remember this one AA woman who came in here for support, she said she was in love with this nigerian man but that she had been hearing some rumors about nigerian men. She talked about how in love they are but she also expressed some of her concerns. She made it very clear that she loved that nigerian man. Some of the sisters in nairaland was telling her that the rumors are true but not for all nigerian men, they were telling her to be careful however becuase when a nigerian man dates outside of nigerian women, he is more than likely to be doing it for the papers.

I remember that discussion/poster. I think you might have a point here. But again, the women came w/ doubts and she was given reason to doubt. See what I mean? When white women come in, some people will feel rude saying "be careful" out of nowhere. I feel bad about that thread though b/c I did feel as though that AA woman got discouraged.

Sista:
Another woman came in here, she was a white woman, she talked about how her nigerian man cheated on her with a woman down the street, or somethng like that, and got the woman pregnate. She went on and talked about how she had to find out in the streets that another woman was having her husbands baby. Nairaland members consoled her and told her they were sorry. None of them told her that he only used her for the papers and he never really loved her.

Still on that thread. The difference is what mamaput said (salt). And b/c it's already OBVIOUS that the man was using her. The woman went point for point telling how he'd humiliated & deceived her. It was no point, stating the "you know you got played" statement. With the AA woman we were warning her to shine her eyes (walk w/ her eyes open so as not to be made a fool of) w/ the white woman she'd already been made a fool of, so "sorry" is all that can be said.

Sista:
Also, of course white women flatter black men but that does not mean that black people should let flattery cloud them from telling white women the truth. To me, this shows that we validate our beauty by what people otside of the black race think about us.

That's exactly what it means! I wish people in general didn't do this and I wished women and black people didn't do it especially. But we do and so I wrote it b/c that's what the situation currently is. I just hope we can "grow ourselves up" or mature as adults while raising our children better than this.

Sista:
If they are going to give this woman advice, they should give her the advice the same way they gave it to the AA woman, from an objective and subjective point of view. Un my opinion, people in nairaland were jsut telling this white womna what she wanted to hear. At the same time, they were telling the AA woman something that may have caused her to loose hope.

You're right. NL posters, myself including, might be doing a disservice to some white women on here. But then, going back to my previous point, no one wants to talk out of turn. Like if you came in only talking about sunshine & lollie pops & I asked a negative question about your partner, wouldn't it sound unnecessary? Like hating?

Sista:
We black people love to hurt each other while we nuture and care for everyone else.

Black Americans really do believe this. I say that b/c I don't think Africans see things in this context. We're not doing it (saying it) to hurt anyone. I think some people have (a) bad advice (b) myopic views & (c) simply feed into other people's existing views/anxieties.

@Chinani

I remember that discussion/poster. I think you might have a point here. But again, the women came w/ doubts and she was given reason to doubt. See what I mean? When white women come in, some people will feel rude saying "be careful" out of nowhere. I feel bad about that thread though b/c I did feel as though that AA woman got discouraged.

That is my whole point, I think that black woman did get discouraged and I don't think they gave her any kind of comfort as a sister. She is a black woman though and she is going to ultimately let that Nigerian play his self out, if that is what he does. I don't see how it can be viewed though as being rude for telling the white woman the truth? Nairaland members tell me off all of the time and they don't care about being rude to me that is why I have adapted the attitude that I am damned if I love them and I am damned If I treat them as if I don't love them so why don't I just be me and keep it real at all of the times, even if the truth hurts

If I am not mistaking, that same white woman was seeing another Nigerian guy when she posted and she was talking about how he was there for her while she went through the ordeal she went through with with her husband, who was also Nigerian. She should have been told at that time to be careful that most likely that Nigerian saw how weary she was and he was going to get as much candy out of her as he could, just like the last Nigerian did

Still on that thread. Wink The difference is what mamaput said (salt). And b/c it's already OBVIOUS that the man was using her. The woman went point for point telling how he'd humiliated & deceived her. It was no point, stating the "you know you got played" statement. With the AA woman we were warning her to shine her eyes (walk w/ her eyes open so as not to be made a fool of) w/ the white woman she'd already been made a fool of, so "sorry" is all that can be said.

I don't agree because 9 times out of 10, white women know they are going to get played but they think that because they have something the black man needs, some where down the line, he is going to see that she is the only one who came through for him and at that time he will totally devote his self to her white behind. In some cases, the black man does devote his self but it is a gamble. Then, when he does not devote his self after her helping him, she plays like he hurt her so bad, when she did this to her self. Nairaland members have told many black sisters that they shouldn't be so stupid to marry a man who needed papers, they should have told that to the white woman as well. Again, we are so quick to comfort white people while shunning our own. Did you know about the white man who came hear saying that all Nigerians should be dead because he was cheated by a Nigerian woman? Well, Drusilla told me that Nigerians in nairaland comforted him and told him they understood his being angry and hateful. Then they tried to convince him that all Nigerians are like that when they should have cursed his ass out. Instead they are civil with angry white people and un compassionate towards their own angry black people, even if their own is not angry and in need of a little assurance,

That's exactly what it means! I wish people in general didn't do this and I wished women and black people didn't do it especially. But we do and so I wrote it b/c that's what the situation currently is. I just hope we can "grow ourselves up" or mature as adults while raising our children better than this.

That is what I do with my daughter and her friends, I teach them and it is working. The communication my girl has with her friends and her friends with her is to be admired. They keep is so real with each other and they take nothing the other tells them as personal but as an opportunity to grow.

You're right. Nairaland posters, myself including, might be doing a disservice to some white women on here. But then, going back to my previous point, no one wants to talk out of turn. Like if you came in only talking about sunshine & lollie pops & I asked a negative question about your partner, wouldn't it sound unnecessary? Like hating?

Hating? I don't think so. If someone asked me something I felt was out of turn, I would ask them the reasoning behind their question, after all we are all adults, even children come at each other with curious questions. Any way, If their reason made sense and I was secure, I would answer them. Example: I was telling another nairaland member to not marry a white man. Somegirl, she is a white nairaland member, I was not even talking to her but she made it a point to interject and ask me was I aware that specific African tribes fought each other? To me, she was talking out of turn because I was not talking to her and to me she was talking sunshine when I was talking lollie pops I first told her that their was nothing about my people that I needed her to inform me of and then I asked her what was the basis of her question? She took many days to finally tell me her basis, and to this day I don't know if her answer was based on further observation of me.

Black Americans really do believe this. I say that b/c I don't think Africans see things in this context. We're not doing it (saying it) to hurt anyone. I think some people have (a) bad advice (b) myopic views & (c) simply feed into other people's existing views/anxieties.

Black Americans Black Africans, what is the difference? The only thing I can agree with you on this one is more so, CA do not mind hurting black Americans more than they hurt each other on the continent of Africa. Also it goes both ways, AA people don't mind hurting CA more than they hurt each other here in America. Still, we are all hurting each other. And the only time we unite is when we set trip with another group of black people.


@Mamaput

One woman was married the other woman not.
The have different stories,
Are we to tell the married woman "anyway he only married you for paper" ?
That will be adding salt.
The other woman is not yet married so one can advise her to be careful.
not everything is black and white.

Just because they had two different stories, does not mean that both woman could not have received equal encouragement.

Well somehow i have to admitt that i go from the assumsion that black women are "stronger" than white women.

@Mamaput

Yes Mamaput, everyone thinks that blacks are stronger and that is why they let us suffer in order for everyone else to do good. It's okay, black people are the strongest, they can bare the burdens of everyone else.

At the schools I teach in, most of the teachers assume always that the little black children are the strongest. When they treat black children like they are the so called strongest, their treatment of these black children manifest in a form that suggest, little black children don't have any feelings, do you see what I am saying?

That in it self is a subtle racist thought to assume that black people are more stronger. Although it may be true, that black people are physically stronger, it don't mean that the more physically stronger they get, the less feelings they have. If anything, it means they have more feelings. To think that another person (feels) less or has less emotions than others is reducing that individual to less than human, now you see why black people have been treated less than human by their own and by non black people.

People, black people in nairaland, they feel they are stronger because that is what they have been taught. That is why they see it as okay to comfort white people, even by lying to them while clowning and discouraging their own.

This type of behavior took place on the plantation. Black people were taught that they were physically stronger so their feelings did not matter. In fact, white people felt that black people were so physically strong that they equated black people to animals. They even went as far as to take black slaves from different plantations and place bets on them to see who's nigger slave could beat up who's nigger slave. The one with the strongest slave won the money.

Sista:

That is my whole point, I think that black woman did get discouraged and I don't think they gave her any kind of comfort as a sister. She is a black woman though and she is going to ultimately let that Nigerian play his self out, if that is what he does. I don't see how it can be viewed though as being rude for telling the white woman the truth? Nairaland members tell me off all of the time and they don't care about being rude to me that is why I have adapted the attitude that I am damned if I love them and I am damned If I treat them as if I don't love them so why don't I just be me and keep it real at all of the times, even if the truth hurts

You're right here. I think the difference btw the reaction to the women along w/ what I previously stated is that "we" do think white women are malleable. They want to take on the man's identity more than the black American woman might want to so if she's already having problems whereas I do think of white woman taking more shiit. Not saying all white women do.

Sista:
If I am not mistaking, that same white woman was seeing another Nigerian guy when she posted and she was talking about how he was there for her while she went through the ordeal she went through with with her husband, who was also Nigerian. She should have been told at that time to be careful that most likely that Nigerian saw how weary she was and he was going to get as much candy out of her as he could, just like the last Nigerian did

Oh, I read/remember someone warning her not to get into a relationship w/ another one! I didn't write it personally others had and she hadn't wanted to hear it so I figured she'll reap what she sows.

Sista:
Again, we are so quick to comfort white people while shunning our own.

Yes, Nigerians are guilty of being "partial" or favoring to white people. We need to work on this but it's not all of us.

Sista:
Did you know about the white man who came hear saying that all Nigerians should be dead because he was cheated by a Nigerian woman? Well, Drusilla told me that Nigerians in nairaland comforted him and told him they understood his being angry and hateful. Then they tried to convince him that all Nigerians are like that when they should have cursed his ass out. Instead they are civil with angry white people and un compassionate towards their own angry black people, even if their own is not angry and in need of a little assurance,

Didn't see it myself but I read when you wrote about it on another thread. But some people are comforters or "devil's advocates". Did you read the thread called "IGBO GIRLS LOVE MONEY". A man (naija) was on there trying to bash Igbo girls and everyone came to insult him except for those who came to defend him and say whatever. So this isn't just a racial thing. There will always be people who defend or comfort others even if they don't deserve it.

Sista:
That is what I do with my daughter and her friends, I teach them and it is working. The communication my girl has with her friends and her friends with her is to be admired. They keep is so real with each other and they take nothing the other tells them as personal but as an opportunity to grow.

Good for them. Less heartache later on.

Sista:
Hating? I don't think so. If someone asked me something I felt was out of turn, I would ask them the reasoning behind their question, after all we are all adults, even children come at each other with curious questions. Any way, If their reason made sense and I was secure, I would answer them.

True.

Sista:
Example: I was telling another nairaland member to not marry a white man. Somegirl, she is a white nairaland member, I was not even talking to her but she made it a point to interject and ask me was I aware that specific African tribes fought each other? To me, she was talking out of turn because I was not talking to her and to me she was talking sunshine when I was talking lollie pops I first told her that their was nothing about my people that I needed her to inform me of and then I asked her what was the basis of her question? She took many days to finally tell me her basis, and to this day I don't know if her answer was based on further observation of me.

I remember reading this. But your reaction is exactly the type of thing people want to avoid. At the time, I thought you were making a bru-ha-ha out of nothing. Maybe you didn't mean to sound defensive when you asked her why she had brought this up, but I read it that way. For what it's worth I think her answer was genuine but I don't know her.

Sista:
Black Americans Black Africans, what is the difference?

I made that distinction b/c I think it's important to note that "we" (Africans) don't do it w/ ill intent or see the bad results.

Sista:
The only thing I can agree with you on this one is more so, CA do not mind hurting black Americans more than they hurt each other on the continent of Africa. Also it goes both ways, AA people don't mind hurting CA more than they hurt each other here in America. Still, we are all hurting each other. And the only time we unite is when we set trip with another group of black people.

Good point. We got to turn this ship around but I think we're doing so. Correction: I see lots of people changing but not everyone is open to change at this moment. Those of us who are need to be on our job, especially in day-to-day life though. It's not easy though. To me, the way this usually works or begins is by being frozen out. So at your place of employment and/or school a certain person won't be spoken to so the dialogue never happens. I've been that person more times than I can count.

Sista i see it from another point.
Black people still talk to each other. Talking is a good therapy.
They are not ashamed to hide their feelings.
They hardly die alone at home were no one misses them for days.
But white people bottle it up.
I have not seen many blacks with a nervous break down.
Well some times here but the lonely ones.

Please, Sista, stop talking about me. You don't like it when people talk about you and I don't like it either. Especially, when you mention our conversations out of context so that they MUST be misunderstood. If you still have issues with me, talk to me but not about me. My dear, good night.

chinani: For what it's worth I think her answer was genuine but I don't know her.

Nwaanyi oma, daalu. Ekele diri gi.