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Re: Banned From Speaking My Language To My Baby by Nobody: 9:32am On Nov 11, 2013 |
deols: All these you are saying are long stroy the truth is that that Guy just want to save his identity which is his SON , i bet you if it were a girl he wouldnt mind his wife teaching her Yoruba and we all know Yoruba ppl know how to colonize things and make it their personal own even when they have to share it with another... That brother is right , mehn protect your own ooo, b4 e enter voice mail 1 Like |
Re: Banned From Speaking My Language To My Baby by Nobody: 9:43am On Nov 11, 2013 |
dasparrow: @Post Oh boy, take this cigarette ... Let me light it jare, You too much. |
Re: Banned From Speaking My Language To My Baby by ChristyG(f): 9:54am On Nov 11, 2013 |
CHESSBOARD:and how are u yorubas trying to colonize others?did u even read the story at all?.u just saw yoruba and u decided to bring out ur useless generalisations and tribalistic views. |
Re: Banned From Speaking My Language To My Baby by Chomzy19(f): 10:04am On Nov 11, 2013 |
jay bee: I honestly don't understand why couples don't discuss issues like this before deciding to get married. Marriage is all about tolerance, there is obviously a problem the moment either party starts feeling own view/opinion/say is say regardless of how it will impact the other person.TG Nigerian men like this, Gothrones, tingtinz etc. exist at least their is hope I hv failed to understand d concept of for peace to reign in ur home bla bla bla jst do n accept watever he says its really funny cos wen u keep accepting things u dont lyk for a long tym witout speaking out one day u'll get to ur breaking point n all hell will be let loose n dt scenario is usually very ugly n scary Y dont d boy learn d two lang simultaneously, in d Nig of today dt knowing d 3 major lang givs u an edge over non-speakers, I'm Igbo trying my damndest best to b fluent at yoruba lang n someone is trying to prevent his child frm learning it... I tire for pple oo 1 Like |
Re: Banned From Speaking My Language To My Baby by Nobody: 11:10am On Nov 11, 2013 |
sorry to say o op, I have never seen an Edo man married to a yoruba woman marriage work out good. They end up divorcing. Edo man marrying a yoruba woman is fire ooo. My dear, this is just the begining, infact this is even minor compared to what i have personally witnessed yoruba women suffer in Edo men's life all because of marriage. You have the man's mother to contend with if she's still alive, family members, funny laws like of old. I wish you well ooooooooooooooo. |
Re: Banned From Speaking My Language To My Baby by nyenyej: 12:30pm On Nov 11, 2013 |
kendraloops: I'm so so so very angry this evening. I've been having this issue with hubby for a while now, used to think he was kidding but this evening just confirmed it for me.Madam, dis shouldn't be an issue for discussion at all or u get confused by peoples comments. Speak English to your child and maintain peace in ur Home. Let ur husband teach him Esan, since u cannot speak Esan, learn. U say in d west, environment will teach ur child Yoruba. Most importantly maintain peace in ur home, don't speak language to d child since it causes problems in your home. It won't change anything. Goodluck |
Re: Banned From Speaking My Language To My Baby by deols(f): 2:05pm On Nov 11, 2013 |
CHESSBOARD: The son belongs to both of them! And I have no problem with him learning his father's language. The mother does not see it as a problem either. The way the man goes about it is the problem. Not learning Yoruba is not an automatuc way of learning esan and does not stop the Esan learning process. He does not have to make it the mother's problem. To teach his son Esan is his duty and the wife should teach her son Yoruba. 2 Likes |
Re: Banned From Speaking My Language To My Baby by deols(f): 2:11pm On Nov 11, 2013 |
Chomzy19: her husband's son?? Not their son? I pity d unfortunate female that will end up wit u! Very unfortunate! |
Re: Banned From Speaking My Language To My Baby by Nobody: 2:19pm On Nov 11, 2013 |
So the man wants his son to pass up the opportunity of being bilingual. |
Re: Banned From Speaking My Language To My Baby by winteriscoming: 2:58pm On Nov 11, 2013 |
I think the husband has made a miscalculation. He has slighted her. She says nothing to him now, she keeps it in her heart, but God help him he makes a mistake. I don't envy him. |
Re: Banned From Speaking My Language To My Baby by PAGAN9JA(m): 8:33pm On Nov 11, 2013 |
gothrones: get lost. what whopping? All you kept saying is about my "mommy and daddy". Egg-head. |
Re: Banned From Speaking My Language To My Baby by gothrones(m): 10:00pm On Nov 11, 2013 |
^ That's because you are mommy and daddy's boy. Ye are not a man. |
Re: Banned From Speaking My Language To My Baby by PAGAN9JA(m): 10:03pm On Nov 11, 2013 |
gothrones: ^ so because I love and respect my parents, Im not a man you are weird. and you are tras-se.xual. |
Re: Banned From Speaking My Language To My Baby by lobell: 10:59pm On Nov 11, 2013 |
tintingz: why can't she just stick to her father's name instead of changing names like slaves? It will cause too many problems...believe me. If you retained your father's name, would you still carry the title 'Mrs'? How can you and your married sister(s) (imagine you have like 5 of them) all bear Mrs. Kofo (Kofo being your fathers name)? |
Re: Banned From Speaking My Language To My Baby by lobell: 11:09pm On Nov 11, 2013 |
Afam4eva: I know of a thousand and one issues and know nothing of a million and one other ones that will never cross your 'matured' minds until after you get married and you are blindsided by one of them by 2pm on some idle Tuesday! You'd be so shocked that your matured mind had never considered it and be shocked even more that you don't have an adequate response! Whether or not you marry from your tribe, whether or not you cover 'all' the bases. You'll be surprised how these things keep coming up. The bible calls them little foxes. They're inconsequential seemingly but they do enormous damage that's very expensive to repair. 2 Likes |
Re: Banned From Speaking My Language To My Baby by soulglo: 6:42am On Nov 12, 2013 |
He can speak his language and you speak yoruba to the baby. Children can learn languages easier than adults. You can have that child combining english, yoruba and Esan in one sentence by the time he is 2 |
Re: Banned From Speaking My Language To My Baby by armyofone(m): 7:50am On Nov 12, 2013 |
Sort of like: mom, kilode bo dia ye...dad fi oje inside my unu We did the mix so bad my dad laughed over it. We the childen still speak mom tribe more without any mixing. soul_glo: He can speak his language and you speak yoruba to the baby. Children can learn languages easier than adults. You can have that child combining english, yoruba and Esan in one sentence by the time he is 2 1 Like |
Re: Banned From Speaking My Language To My Baby by snoopzilla: 9:17am On Nov 12, 2013 |
@garrydome, This is link i was talking about where you can get a US Number on your Naija sim, that enables you to Make call (with US caller i.d), Receive calls and Sms. http://usacallsms.com You dont need an app or software, just make use of your phone. |
Re: Banned From Speaking My Language To My Baby by bukatyne(f): 10:05am On Nov 12, 2013 |
willibounce: @ least young ladies wud learn never to marry an 'educated illiterate'. Some men are educated, yet very backward. I pray they do |
Re: Banned From Speaking My Language To My Baby by bukatyne(f): 11:14am On Nov 12, 2013 |
Lol@ thread! Welcome to Nigeria where Compromise in marriage means 'the wife should forgo all her dreams, identity for the marriage without the hubby doing same' Let peace reign means 'if hubby says 'jump', wife asks 'how high' Children are for the men with women being their conduit etc. Nigerians need their dictionary as well a Bible. It is well 2 Likes |
Re: Banned From Speaking My Language To My Baby by Nobody: 9:40pm On Nov 12, 2013 |
lobell: It's not going to cause any confusion, don't be ridiculous. Let's take the scenario you painted above and assume that all the 5 sisters you mentioned in your example are males, I am sure you won't say that there will be confusion if they all bear their father's names after marriage but strangely enough, you think there will be confusion if they are females and they bear their father's name after marriage. Let women have independent identities please, this control freak attitude of chauvinists is very oppressive and need to stop. 1 Like |
Re: Banned From Speaking My Language To My Baby by enigmatique(m): 2:35am On Nov 14, 2013 |
De Beauvoir:You see, De Beauvoir, it's not really a man's world. It's presently a man's world because females have failed to find their own niche, the things that no one can do except females. So, they pathetically hang in limbo! But all is not lost, coz you are still alive, so you can still find out that unique female position. Now, about your last post, consider this: if two companies merge, there are only three ways they can name the new company: 1. Use the name of company A. 2. Use the name of company B. 3. Form a new name by mutual discussion and agreement. Now, you will agree with me that one of the ways of doing option 3 above is to join their former names. If we now apply this to a marriage, it means that the couple can either use the husband's name, the wife's name or a new name they form, which can be done by joining their former names. However, I personally dislike joining names for this reason: if Joseph Akin and Ngozi Emmanuel marry and become Akin-Emmanuel, when their children want to marry, what will happen? If their daughter, Mary, wants to marry a certain Hamza Yusuf-Bitrus, what will they do? Can they SENSIBLY follow in their parents' steps? That would be impossible. Even if they do, think of what will happen in the case of their own children! So eventually, some names will have to be dropped and it has been agreed that it should be that of the wife. Think about it. PS: By the way, I've seen a family that changed its surname to a name that was neither the husband's nor the wife's. But it was taken from the husband's family or something sha. |
Re: Banned From Speaking My Language To My Baby by Nobody: 1:55pm On Nov 14, 2013 |
enigmatique:In a situation like this, a new name ought to be formed in order to be fair/just to all parties involved. So eventually, some names will have to be dropped and it has been agreed that it should be that of the wife. Think about it.Who and who agreed that the wife's name should be dropped? When did they come to that agreement? Leadership of women by men was imposed on women under the aegis of religion, it wasn't something women or even men for that matter, had much of a say in. My belief is that for things like this, new last names should be formed for new families while the father and mother get to keep their own first names. |
Re: Banned From Speaking My Language To My Baby by pickabeau1: 3:30pm On Nov 14, 2013 |
De Beauvoir: All well in a world where connection to prior names was not important Names are an identifier and form a place holder Example... Montbatten is the surname of William... Charles etc Kate is now Montbatten If he gets a new name upon marriage, say Windsor There will be no way to connect Windsor to Montbatten... Traditionally the man;s name has always been used as the woman was identified by her man Dont forget in Japan, you take your wife's family name... so its not all bad |
Re: Banned From Speaking My Language To My Baby by Nobody: 4:25pm On Nov 14, 2013 |
pickabeau1:If he gets a new name, all former documents and records with the old name still remain valid, all he needs is a change of name affidavit. We need to change the way we live and think in order to progress, we cannot keep sticking to the same ways of life which we employed centuries ago in this day and age, we must embrtace change to see development. When you say that there will be no connection btw the new name and the old name; how's so? The Montbatten name was adopted during world war 1 as the family name of William's ancestors, it's not tied to any geographical area or any couintry, it's just a family name and it could have been displaced and replaced by another name that would be the new family name of the new family William and Kate wanted to start. People follow traditions too much......there is so much aversion to change in human beings. How sad. |
Re: Banned From Speaking My Language To My Baby by pickabeau1: 4:39pm On Nov 14, 2013 |
the name montbatten acts as a common identifier tieing all lines of the family together say you were de beauvoir, that name ties all related to you tradition defines humanity it only becomes stifling when it tries to block progress where is the progress being blocked here |
Re: Banned From Speaking My Language To My Baby by Nobody: 4:51pm On Nov 14, 2013 |
pickabeau1: the name montbatten acts as a common identifier tieing all lines of the family together But traditions change.....The only constant thing in life is change and change also affects traditions. The tradition of making women bear their husbands' names leads women and men to see their identities as unimportant, something that must be discarded in favour of the husband's. It brings about inferiority complex in females who see themselves as less than men as a result and they think and act according to how they see themselves. The tradition of making women bear their husbands' names is also the reason why people (mostly Africans) see female children as less important than male children, because females cannot carry on the family name. It is also a very big contributory factor in many sexist attitudes we see today, due to the less importance placed on female children, people also place less importance on the female specie It was also the reason why there was mass infanticide of female children in China after their government introduced the one child policy. Chinese parents started killing their female children or abandoning them to die because they felt that female kids have less importance than males. |
Re: Banned From Speaking My Language To My Baby by lobell: 5:10pm On Nov 14, 2013 |
De Beauvoir: Exactly my point Beau...There's already enough confusion as it is with male siblings without compounding the issue further with names of female siblings! This 'name-dropping' issue is not religious as you might want to paint and neither is it chauvinistic. It is more of a culture thing and everybody well almost everybody is used to that arrangement and turning it on its head will take some doing. |
Re: Banned From Speaking My Language To My Baby by pickabeau1: 5:46pm On Nov 14, 2013 |
I dont think name changes are responsible for females not being the cause of patriarchal traditions but rather are an expression of it This is because men are seen as initiators of families and thus women and kids are identified by the fathers name Say.. John the son of Smith, Sandra the wife of Simith ergo John Smith or Sandra Smith respectively I believe the underlying attitudes can be solved and moreover women are free to keep their maiden names A close friend of mine did not change her name for 3 years after marriage and the hubby was ok That is being accepted nowadays .. De Beauvoir: |
Re: Banned From Speaking My Language To My Baby by Nobody: 6:19pm On Nov 14, 2013 |
pickabeau1: I dont think name changes are responsible for females not being the cause of patriarchal traditions but rather are an expression of itWhat? I don't understand.....I said making it compulsory for women to bear their husbands' names after marriage leads to issues of gender discrimination. I didn't say it was solely responsible for patriarchal traditions. pickabeau1: This is because men are seen as initiators of families and thus women and kids are identified by the fathers nameIt's because men are seen as superior to women and as a result, they are expected to lead their wives and children instead of women. It is because men are taken to be the head of the families that is why the tradition of women the man's name being taken the name of his family came about. In India, in the past, women used to propose marriage to men and even pay their groom price and still go ahead to bear their husbands names, although that practise is now dying away and is no longer common. What i am saying is, both the husband and wife should adopt one name which they will both bear and which the children will also bear. If the children are made to bear only their fathers' names, the belief that the mother is less important will carry on and this in turn will fuel discriminatory attitudes towards women because their kids cannot bear their names and carry on the family name, so female children will be seen as inferior/less important etc. I am repeating myself now. |
Re: Banned From Speaking My Language To My Baby by Nobody: 6:20pm On Nov 14, 2013 |
lobell: It has to change. It is causing many issues of gender discrimination against women. |
Re: Banned From Speaking My Language To My Baby by pickabeau1: 6:25pm On Nov 14, 2013 |
im saying using the name of the male is not the cause of the syndrome you point out but rather a consequence of a male dominated society ok.. we are agreed on that But i do not think your solution of discarding names in favour of a new name is a feasible one De Beauvoir: |
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