De Beauvoir:

It has to change. It is causing many issues of gender discrimination against women.

How does changing a name or not cause gender discrimination? Its either she bears her husband's name which you call gender discrimination or bears her father's name which is still gender discrimination if I were to use your argument.

To all those that offered matured advice (you know urselves), God bless u n keep all that you hold dear.

To all those advocating divorce, una try well well. U get broda wey I go marry? Abeg oo, na my Esan man house I go old till my b.reasts dey sweep floor.

To all those that insulted hubby n I, I must tell you we had a good laugh reading some comments here. You guys even helped bring us closer.

Much love guys. *takes a bow*

Many married years to u jaawe


I gbadun your humour jooor..

u no know say everything for hia na dievorce?

hahahah

kendraloops: To all those that offered matured advice (you know urselves), God bless u n keep all that you hold dear.

To all those advocating divorce, una try well well. U get broda wey I go marry? Abeg oo, na my Esan man house I go old till my b.reasts dey sweep floor.

To all those that insulted hubby n I, I must tell you we had a good laugh reading some comments here. You guys even helped bring us closer.

Much love guys. *takes a bow*

pickabeau1: Many married years to u jaawe


I gbadun your humour jooor..

u no know say everything for hia na dievorce?

hahahah

Tnx a lot.

The divorce thingy is jst too rampant here. I saw u arguing with its 'chairman' on another thread. They don't know some people are actually in marriage to make it work.

kendraloops:

Tnx a lot.

The divorce thingy is jst too rampant here. I saw u arguing with its 'chairman' on another thread. They don't know some people are actually in marriage to make it work.

It is well.......

May God help us all...

kendraloops: To all those that offered matured advice (you know urselves), God bless u n keep all that you hold dear.

To all those advocating divorce, una try well well. U get broda wey I go marry? Abeg oo, na my Esan man house I go old till my b.reasts dey sweep floor.

To all those that insulted hubby n I, I must tell you we had a good laugh reading some comments here. You guys even helped bring us closer.

Much love guys. *takes a bow*

OOooooooohh man. I am happy for you Dont mind these worwor Nairalanders, they dont like a good thing going on.

You and your husband planned this abi, you are really thick as thieves

chineloSA:

OOooooooohh man. I am happy for you Dont mind these worwor Nairalanders, they dont like a good thing going on.

You and your husband planned this abi, you are really thick as thieves

Haba!! Planned ke? No ooooo. Lemme not go into details sha but trust me, we didn't.

kendraloops: To all those that offered matured advice (you know urselves), God bless u n keep all that you hold dear.

To all those advocating divorce, una try well well. U get broda wey I go marry? Abeg oo, na my Esan man house I go old till my b.reasts dey sweep floor.

To all those that insulted hubby n I, I must tell you we had a good laugh reading some comments here. You guys even helped bring us closer.

Much love guys. *takes a bow*

I'm glad you guys worked it out...dint hear from you for a while and I sorta got worried that you followed the advice of one of those foolish women...like I always say "husband and wife matter no get exact yes or no answer" cos each is unique and you become the enemy when they finally settle themselves. God no go allow divorce or even separation for your marriage lailai in Jesus' name. Amen.

lobell:

I'm glad you guys worked it out...dint hear from you for a while and I sorta got worried that you followed the advice of one of those foolish women...like I always say "husband and wife matter no get exact yes or no answer" cos each is unique and you become the enemy when they finally settle themselves. God no go allow divorce or even separation for your marriage lailai in Jesus' name. Amen.

Wise words, tnx a lot. God bless u. I ad to lay low when I saw the thread had been overtaken by ....... Some people just give 'textbook' advice. I learnt a whole lot sha.

kendraloops:

Wise words, tnx a lot. God bless u. I ad to lay low when I saw the thread had been overtaken by ....... Some people just give 'textbook' advice. I learnt a whole lot sha.

I'm glad. You take care now.

yellowpawpaw:
Forget whatever his reasons were and teach him his father's language. This shouldn't be an issue at all. Like I said, u r still with ur baby. U will be chipping in ur language and baby will be picking small small. U can sing in ur language too abi is it forbidden?
Honestly speaking, its small small molehills like this that becomes mountain if not put in check.
Talk is cheap. Some of us will give advice that will spark fire and still go and jejely manage their own homes very well.
Be wise madam.
Thanks.

Are you retarded? How is she supposed to teach the kid the father's language when she does not speak it? The bottom line is that her husband is not very bright. A baby can pick up as many languages as you throw at him/her, therefore the husband should teach him Esan and the wife should teach him Yoruba. Here is the western world, even Spanish babysitters teach kids Spanish without the Parents complaining.

lobell:

How does changing a name or not cause gender discrimination? Its either she bears her husband's name which you call gender discrimination or bears her father's name which is still gender discrimination if I were to use your argument.

Read what I wrote to pickabeau about a new family getting a new name. If that is done, no one is discriminated against, not the man and not the woman and this help to prevent issues of gender discrimination.

pickabeau1: im saying using the name of the male is not the cause of the syndrome you point out but rather a consequence of a male dominated society
ok.. we are agreed on that

But i do not think your solution of discarding names in favour of a new name is a feasible one

How will you think it's feasible when it is a practice that favours you as a male?

Anyway it has to change. It is doing a lot of damage to the female folk, It leads to sexist attitudes in people, it leads to issues of gender discrimination against women, it makes men see women as inferior/lesser humans AND TREAT THEM AS SUCH, it retards the progress of women because they are programmed to think that their identities don't matter, that they are second class citizens that must always come after men.

I don't even know why I bother. You will most likely fail to fully understand how oppressive the practice is since it places you at the position of advantage and since you have nothing to lose from it.

De Beauvoir:

How will you think it's feasible when it is a practice that favours you as a male?

Anyway it has to change. It is doing a lot of damage to the female folk, It leads to sexist attitudes in people, it leads to issues of gender discrimination against women, it makes men see women as inferior/lesser humans AND TREAT THEM AS SUCH, it retards the progress of women because they are programmed to think that their identities don't matter, that they are second class citizens that must always come after men.

I don't even know why I bother. You will most likely fail to fully understand how oppressive the practice is since it places you at the position of advantage and since you have nothing to lose from it.

Hmmm....I guess u have a point.
Say I will not change my name to keep my root n the women will not

A pseudo name may work...mr n mrs ananse comprising george anan and georgina sewa

Coined name - ananse

De Beauvoir:

Read what I wrote to pickabeau about a new family getting a new name. If that is done, no one is discriminated against, not the man and not the woman and this help to prevent issues of gender discrimination.

Please humor me, who picks out the new name? the man or the woman? And don't say both because they can't both mutually exclusively select the same name.
If the man wins and chooses the new surname, it's tantamount to using his name - and the fight starts allover as in the wife is forced to use the husbands name (I mean the new name he selected) and the converse is true for the reverse scenario!
Laid down rules/customs makes society function properly and one of such rules is that the wife adopts the husband's family name or a neutral name that he decides. Either case the wife still has to change her name. And from what I know of you so far, you will still feel disenfranchised as long as the woman doesn't get to do the choosing.
The same scenario plays out when you have to name a child. The husband and the wife cannot possibly have the same name (or name idea) for the child. But in the end everybody I know has got a name and there was no war before a consensus was reached in less than seven days which is the average time it takes to name a child. If everybody were to go by your arguments then every single family will break up for this seemingly mundane but all-important task of naming a child.

pickabeau1:

Hmmm....I guess u have a point.
Say I will not change my name to keep my root n the women will not

A pseudo name may work...mr n mrs ananse comprising george anan and georgina sewa

Coined name - ananse

Thanks for understanding, this little post really lifted my spirit.

And thanks for showing support to women's empowerment and upliftment.
Feminism loves and appreciates compassionate men like you

De Beauvoir:

Thanks for understanding, this little post really lifted my spirit.

And thanks for showing support to women's empowerment and upliftment.
[b]Feminism loves and appreciates compassionate men like you [b]

O to ye e

Have a splendid weekend

......

....

lobell:

Please humor me, who picks out the new name? the man or the woman? And don't say both because they can't both mutually exclusively select the same name.
If the man wins and chooses the new surname, it's tantamount to using his name - and the fight starts allover as in the wife is forced to use the husbands name (I mean the new name he selected) and the converse is true for the reverse scenario!
Laid down rules/customs makes society function properly and one of such rules is that the wife adopts the husband's family name or a neutral name that he decides. Either case the wife still has to change her name. And from what I know of you so far, you will still feel disenfranchised as long as the woman doesn't get to do the choosing.
The same scenario plays out when you have to name a child. The husband and the wife cannot possibly have the same name (or name idea) for the child. But in the end everybody I know has got a name and there was no war before a consensus was reached in less than seven days which is the average time it takes to name a child. If everybody were to go by your arguments then every single family will break up for this seemingly mundane but all-important task of naming a child.

@bold;

Complete and utter nonsense. It is not all laid down customs that help society function properly. There are laid down customs in some pagan societies that require sacrificing human beings to non existent gods, are those ones helping society function better? What about the laid down customs in some Nigerian tribes that demand burying some human heads with the king when he dies? There is also a laid down custom in my village that involves sacrificing a fair complexioned beautiful woman to the river goddess every year to keep the village from flooding, is that one also helping society function properly?
Or the killing of twins in the past or the custom of keeping slaves? Did they help society function properly?

The only reason you support this particular custom is because it favors you, nothing more. It is making the lives of women miserable but you don't care. All you are interested in is maintaining your position of superiority.

bukatyne:

O to ye e

What does this mean?

De Beauvoir:

What does this mean?

Weekend assignment

bukatyne:

Weekend assignment

Weekend assignment when you can just write the meaning here and get it over and done with?


I really hope you weren't insulting me in that post

De Beauvoir:

Weekend assignment when you can just write the meaning here and get it over and done with?


I really hope you weren't insulting me in that post

Insulting you?

Why would I do that?

I don't do that!

De Beauvoir:

@bold;

Complete and utter nonsense. It is not all laid down customs that help society function properly. There are laid down customs in some pagan societies that require sacrificing human beings to non existent gods, are those ones helping society function better? What about the laid down customs in some Nigerian tribes that demand burying some human heads with the king when he dies? There is also a laid down custom in my village that involves sacrificing a fair complexioned beautiful woman to the river goddess every year to keep the village from flooding, is that one also helping society function properly?
Or the killing of twins in the past or the custom of keeping slaves? Did they help society function properly?

The only reason you support this particular custom is because it favors you, nothing more. It is making the lives of women miserable but you don't care. All you are interested in is maintaining your position of superiority.

Are you a politician? I'm asking because you have tactfully avoided my questions and gone off on a handle about something else.

De Beauvoir:

Thanks for understanding, this little post really lifted my spirit.

And thanks for showing support to women's empowerment and upliftment.
Feminism loves and appreciates compassionate men like you

Thanks but just to say I believe in social justice n equity but dont agree eith all aspects of feminism....
Thanks too for listenjng through other's view points

kendraloops:
I'm so so so very angry this evening. I've been having this issue with hubby for a while now, used to think he was kidding but this evening just confirmed it for me.

I'm Yoruba n he's Esan from Edo state. He speaks yoruba very very fluently even better than me, he teaches me proverbs n all sometimes sef. But anytime I speak yoruba to our baby, he gets irritated kind of n says' my son is an Esan man, stop speaking yoruba to him'.

We had a major row over it this evening again. Don't I count in the boy's life? What's the biggie in him learning how to speak yoruba?

Dont mind popsi "hubby",well ur son'll learn yoruba as far as its been spoken around him




Like me i speak yoruba more than igbo
Upon the fact that i my parents r igbo's


I learnt yoruba 4rm my neighbours,friends n the movies i watched



N i scored A1 in yoruba in my JSCE

ChynoBEATS:



Dont mind popsi "hubby",well ur son'll learn yoruba as far as its been spoken around him




Like me i speak yoruba more than igbo
Upon the fact that i my parents r igbo's


I learnt yoruba 4rm my neighbours,friends n the movies i watched



N i scored A1 in yoruba in my JSCE

Lol, thanks jare. Its all in the past, guess we were still getting to know ourselves better then. Its not an issue anymore, guess the bros was trying to prove levels then.

kendraloops:


My dear, its English oo then he n baby's grandparents speak Esan to him when we go visiting as I don't speak Esan. You just need to see the way he gets when I speak yoruba to baby

Nairaland isn't the best place to discuss marital issue.. How do u feel now getting answers from kids below 15?

Next time, get a counselor or speak to your pastor

kendraloops:



Lol, thanks jare. Its all in the past, guess we were still getting to know ourselves better then. Its not an issue anymore, guess the bros was trying to prove levels then.

So you finally got over it? Good..
Nairaland advice for help you break up your home, then your eye go clear

kendraloops:
I'm so so so very angry this evening. I've been having this issue with hubby for a while now, used to think he was kidding but this evening just confirmed it for me.

I'm Yoruba n he's Esan from Edo state. He speaks yoruba very very fluently even better than me, he teaches me proverbs n all sometimes sef. But anytime I speak yoruba to our baby, he gets irritated kind of n says' my son is an Esan man, stop speaking yoruba to him'.

We had a major row over it this evening again. Don't I count in the boy's life? What's the biggie in him learning how to speak yoruba?

Bump.
Lol... Convo from back in the day.

kendraloops:


My dear, its English oo then he n baby's grandparents speak Esan to him when we go visiting as I don't speak Esan. You just need to see the way he gets when I speak yoruba to baby

This is the problem! You don't speak esan and you are not interested in learning it.

You appreciate him speaking Yoruba and you think he will not appreciate you learning and speaking esan?

You are being self-centered and inconsiderate. Learn esan, and you can then speak but esan and Yoruba to the kid and he will have no issues with it.