The problem I have with my wife is that in the midst of any disagreement or misunderstanding, right there and then, she picks her phone and starts calling her mother, sisters, brothers and sometimes our Pastor. Those who live nearby among those she calls usually flood our home "trying to mediate" while others far away persistently call my phone until I am fed up of explaining that it is just a minor disagreement between us. I have never been violent to her, don't even have the mind to fight my fellow man if provoked and so, I do not know why calling virtually everyone on her contact list whenever we are having a family discussion is her pastime. The worst behaved of all the people she usually calls is my mother-in-law and one of her younger brothers because, unlike all others who enquire "what is going on?" whenever they call, my mother-in-law and brother-in-law calls and immediately takes sides with my wife without listening to my side of whatever the story is, reigning abuses on me sometimes and my wife does not see anything wrong in her mother or younger brother who is also married and much junior to me insulting me. Now, I have stopped most people from coming to interfere in our discussions by refusing to open the door whenever they come, but my mother-in-law is still a pain in the neck as she still keeps calling. The last time this happened, I refused to take her calls and hell was let loose in my home as I was accused by my wife and in-laws of disrespecting their mother by not taking her calls.

confiscate her phone, destroy her sim card, if she questions u, tell. her u are treating her like a child because She's behaving like a child, let. her know you'll continue treating her like a child until She's mature! what nonsense!

Talk to her sense and let her know the implication of what she is doing.

wasak: confiscate her phone, destroy her sim card, if she questions u, tell. her u are treating her like a child because She's behaving like a child, let. her know you'll continue treating her like a child until She's mature! what nonsense!

bross. Sowie o. I knw less bout ladies tho. Buh i fink dey shud b treated wiv respect and care once yuv bin legally joined. Doing wot u said wud only rise up more of wot shezz bin doing. Ma opinion tho.

Is this for real......smh.
Some women sha....my advice is this, sit her down and have a heart to heart talk with her. tell her how sad you always feel whenever she calls her family to interfere in your family problem. If after the talking she doesn't change, before having any argument, make sure her phone is already with you so she doesn't have access to it not to talk of calling her people.


Some mother in laws sha.....is she helping her daughter in building or breaking her home.

wasak: confiscate her phone, destroy her sim card, if she questions u, tell. her u are treating her like a child because She's behaving like a child, let. her know you'll continue treating her like a child until She's mature! what nonsense!

God bless you my brother. I just issued those threats a few days ago out of frustration and I pray she doesn't give me room to carry them out.

That is so Immature! Why involve third parties in ones marriage? Is she a teenager that can't settle amicably with her spouse without running to mama? Marriage is for mature minds and not for toddlers.

I like the way you handled it. Don't take any calls nor open the door when they come to mediate. They should mind their own Business!

Africans and their pokenosing attitude. And one would think they have perfect homes. Jeez!

Please, sit your "mummy's girl" wife down and have a serious talk with her. This nonsense has to stop.

Don't listen to the advice that asked you to confiscate phone and destroy sim,it might not end the way you planned it.surely, she won't stand with arms akimbo while you break her SIM,it might end in domestic abuse.The way you have been handling it is way better,sit her down and teach her how to handle marital issues.


It seems your wife is very young because I can't imagine a grown woman acting this way.

Night$hift:
Now, I have stopped most people from coming to interfere in our discussions by refusing to open the door whenever they come, but my mother-in-law is still a pain in the neck as she still keeps calling. The last time this happened, I refused to take her calls and hell was let loose in my home as I was accused by my wife and in-laws of disrespcting their mother by not taking her calls.

More of this and stand your ground...
Just practice calmness in your spirit

She will grow up with time

Night$hift:

God bless you my brother. I just issued those threats a few days ago out of frustration and I pray she doesn't give me room to carry them out.

As they have said, no threats of bodily harm or damage as the issue could escalate
I will have said talk but seems the woman is not mature enough,,

Night$hift:

God bless you my brother. I just issued those threats a few days ago out of frustration and I pray she doesn't give me room to carry them out.

So after confiscating her phone and destroying the SIM card, the problem will then go away .
Are you looking for more problem or the solution of the problem you already got.


Seems to me you are not respected in the family. Everyone deserves respect..and you my friend should earn that respect.
By seizing her phone cannot guarantee respect.

I don't know how you guys have been living, but sit your wife down and ask her what her problem is. At least that's the first step.

Depending also on the type of woman she is, sometimes silence can really be golden.

To be honest your wife is good but she has a dangerous habit of trying to ridicule her husband..these type of women can be dangerous because they can go to any length to tarnish the mans ego and respect every where, she can even threaten to come to ur office to embarass u..but to get her to cool down u have to always show her love and tell her you are sorry most times even when u are right..also report her to a pastor she respects alot so that he can counsel both of you...make sure you dont keep quiet and suck the pain all in becos when u do, u will be gradually moving to ur early grave..

..

I feel your pain OP, i don't doubt your story because i have dated a girl like that in the past, we could never sit down to discuss issues. It was so bad that if i and my girl had a quarrel it was either her dad or her mum that would call to settle it eventually. They treat her like an egg and she didnt grow out of it, she was so pampered that her mum didnt teach her how to cook. Infact her mum calls me more than my girl and i wasn't happy with that level of family involvement at all. She was quite intelligent and a virgin i guess that was part of what gets into her head. At the end i had to let her go because i couldnt imagine coping with such in marriage.

I think you should have worked on this issue at the courtship stage but its never too late, put your feet on the ground and tell all 3rd parties to mind their business. There are 3 major reasons most marriages crash Money, Sex and 3rd parties. Be Warned.

She's over 35 and I am just 3 years older than her. We have been married for more than 7 years now but the way she behaves sometimes, I just wonder if she really knows what marriage is all about. Even when I engage her on the need to distant 3rd parties from our marriage, she goes back to tell her mother every single bit of what I told her. It's just so frustrating.

joel lala: To be honest your wife is good but she has a dangerous habit of trying to ridicule her husband..these type of women can be dangerous because they can go to any length to tarnish the mans ego and respect every where, she can even threaten to come to ur office to embarass u..but to get her to cool down u have to always show her love and tell her you are sorry most times even when u are right..also report her to a pastor she respects alot so that he can counsel both of you...make sure you dont keep quiet and suck the pain all in becos when u do, u will be gradually moving to ur early grave..

Show her love? Tell her sorry even when he's obviously right? Abegiii, the woman should Behave! She's a grown a$$ woman and not some diaper-wearing-I will tell my mummy for you kid.

This kinda people annoy the crap out of me.

Night$hift:
She's over 35 and I am just 3 years older than her. We have been married for more than 7 years now but the way she behaves sometimes, I just wonder if she really knows what marriage is all about. Even when I engage her on the need to distant 3rd parties from our marriage, she goes back to tell her mother every single bit of what I told her. It's just so frustrating.

She's over 35 and married for more than 7years? Jesu Kristi!

Has she been this way all along?

Nawoooh,nah advanced lady dey behave like this?? .finally, no be by age jare .


I wonder how you guys managed this for over 7years,i hope it's not too late to be corrected.

Phema:

Show how love? Tell her sorry even when he's obviously right? Abegiii, the woman should Behave! She's a grown a$$ woman and not some diaper-wearing-I will tell my mummy for you kid.

This kinda people annoy the crap out of me.

Am glad you said these kind of people drive you crazy thats why you have to show her love constantly becos if you give in to your anger you will be forced to do what you will regret for the rest of ur live..these kind of women are dangerous in the sense that dey know how to ridicule the husband to the fullest through their falsified stories when reporting the man..

She's been behaving like this all these years and I have just been managing to overlook the undue interferences, hoping she would have overgrown the habit by now. But things have gotten so bad now that I don't even have any secret in my home any longer. Her mother, brothers, sisters and our Pastor know any day I come home late or early from work. It's that bad.

joel lala:

Am glad you said these kind of people drive you crazy thats why you have to show her love constantly becos if you give in to your anger you will be forced to do what you will regret for the rest of ur live..these kind of women are dangerous in the sense that dey know how to ridicule the husband to the fullest through their falsified stories when reporting the man..

You are damn right. I wonder what her motives are for always trying to ridicule me before every Tom, Dick and Harry.

There was a night we had a heated argument and in annoynace, I went to my room and locked myself up ready to sleep. But 5 mins later, I heard a knock on my door and felt perhaps my children wanted to come and play in my room like they usually do when they don't find their cartoons interesting sometimes. But as I was not in the mood, I ignored the knock. But it persisted and so I enquired who was by the door and was shocked when my daughter informed me there was a visitor in the living room waiting to see me. I had to ask that she pleads with the visitor to give me a little time to dress up as I was already in my pyjamas. When I got to the living room, behold it was a popular human right advocate that she had invited to the house unknown to me. The man was shocked to notice everywhere was calm and I was already in bed contrary to what he was told over the phone before coming. If I was the violent type, perhaps I would have been in jail by now courtesy of my wife.

Like mother, like daughter. I bet grandma was like that to your FIL(still alive/around?). All you can do really is divorce her or handle the issue with gloves off. No punching or slapping o.
Continue to ignore neighbours, and her family. When she calls her family and they want to talk to you, make sure you tell them to go fcck themselves or come and carry their daughter(abi na dem dey feed una ni?).
No in-law dare talk to me anyhow, I don't interfere in their family matters, I don't expect them to interfere in mine. Period! Nobody is too big to be put in their place, nobody, if you like be grandma-in-law. Let them know you will not tolerate bullshit. In short ban them ALL from your house.
When she's on her calling spree just ignore her or do something else. This would be a good time to leave the house, probably go rent a hotel room or another apartment. Which means you have to start saving for extra accommodation, tell her that cash flow around the house will be a little tight because of your need to seek external solace in her moments of insanity, etc etc.
Or you could just get a divorce.

Night$hift:
There was a night we had a heated argument and in annoynace, I went to my room and locked myself up ready to sleep. But 5 mins later, I heard a knock on my door and felt perhaps my children wanted to come and play in my room like they usually do when they don't find their cartoons interesting sometimes. But as I was not in the mood, I ignored the knock. But it persisted and so I enquired who was by the door and was shocked when my daughter informed me there was a visitor in the living room waiting to see me. I had to ask that she pleads with the visitor to give me a little time to dress up as I was already in my pyjamas. When I got to the living room, behold it was a popular human right advocate that she had invited to the house unknown to me. The man was shocked to notice everywhere was calm and I was already in bed contrary to what he was told over the phone before coming. If I was the violent type, perhaps I would have been in jail by now courtesy of my wife.

My brother, I would advise you get a divorce. This is how HBP starts, that's if you don't already have it. If you die prematurely this woman will live her own life. A word should be enough.

Terrible... That is all i can say!

Night$hift:
She's over 35 and I am just 3 years older than her. We have been married for more than 7 years now but the way she behaves sometimes, I just wonder if she really knows what marriage is all about. Even when I engage her on the need to distant 3rd parties from our marriage, she goes back to tell her mother every single bit of what I told her. It's just so frustrating.

..she's over 35 and she is still this childish??...na waoo!..
..infact i dont even know what to say here sef,cos i cant seem to see how you can get round this one,sorry...

Poster, ur greatest mistake was being lukewarm over this.
Its always good to tackle what u think is very unhealthy in ur r/ship or marriage d earlier u noticed it. If u start super imposing now, u will meet strong opposition and if care is not taken, it might lead to something ugly but,

Since u said ur family life is like a novel now, use that opportunity to invite elders from the two families for a round table talk. I'm sure ur folks r aware of what is happening too.
Now on d d-day, if ur dad is d most senoir representing ur side, let him start and table ur grievance to ur inlaws. If ur dad isn't among, an elderly man should represent him. This is for the inlaws to deliberate on and settle. I will suggest for the sake of peace which u seek, u superglue ur mouth. Watch ur inlaws and wife. Expect tongue lashing but pls maintain calm by all means.
When everything must hv died down, the eldest among ur pple will now tell them the consequence it will attract if such happens again. And they mean everyword they say.
This will give u d desired respect u need from ur wife and her pple. Small fear will catch her.

Meanwhile, as a man, since u know ur kind of woman, endeavour to carry her along in everything u do. Ur actions will help her detach completely from her pple and cling to u completely without knowing it. We don't know how u guys live but I promise u, if somethings which only u knew changes, ur wife will also change.
All d best

Sorry bro, your wife is Immature, she will never get it no matter how you explain it to her that she's in the wrong. What causes your misunderstandings? I would say, pick your battles, if you can let it go, then let it go. You don't have to fight or discuss about everything only things that are really serious.

Your wife needs some serious counselling on how not to run her mouth, don't know who will do that for you sha. You Don marry be sey you don marry, you got no choice but to manage am like that. Wish but the best.

Night$hift:
There was a night we had a heated argument and in annoynace, I went to my room and locked myself up ready to sleep. But 5 mins later, I heard a knock on my door and felt perhaps my children wanted to come and play in my room like they usually do when they don't find their cartoons interesting sometimes. But as I was not in the mood, I ignored the knock. But it persisted and so I enquired who was by the door and was shocked when my daughter informed me there was a visitor in the living room waiting to see me. I had to ask that she pleads with the visitor to give me a little time to dress up as I was already in my pyjamas. When I got to the living room, behold it was a popular human right advocate that she had invited to the house unknown to me. The man was shocked to notice everywhere was calm and I was already in bed contrary to what he was told over the phone before coming. If I was the violent type, perhaps I would have been in jail by now courtesy of my wife.

..now your story is bordering on the ridiculous!...are you sure you are not catching trips at people's expense here??...which one is human rights lawyer again??...hian!...*unfollows thread*...

fresh_dude: My brother, I would advise you get a divorce. This is house HBP starts, that's if you don't already have it. If you die prematurely this woman will live her own life. A word should be enough.

This your advice na wa oooo....so the best solution to this problem is divorce

Poster,

I am in shock. You are a good man and keep being a good man by not being violent. Please do not ever hit this woman because that is exactly what she wants. May I ask why they keep doing that? Are they the ones feeding your family or is your wife the bread winner. I know there is no justification for their action, but I just want to know the origin of their madness. Secondly, where is your family in all of these? Have you involved or informed them at all?

I hate divorce and it is a sin, but if what your have written is true, then you should tell your wife that you want a separation. These people will kill you before your time. Why would a woman want to put her husband in jail? For what purpose? Bro, be careful as they all seem mad. Wetin be human rights activist? Its not your wife's fault as you can see it is a family trait but it needs to stop for your own good.

fresh_dude: My brother, I would advise you get a divorce. This is house HBP starts, that's if you don't already have it. If you die prematurely this woman will live her own life. A word should be enough.

Dont be too hasty to be calling divorce

haba....

@OP calling a strange person to your house at night..!
You guys may need to go to counselling
Ur wife may have anger issues and spontaneous..

Is she a housewife or working class woman