wasak:
Mr bigboy I can assure u I know how to handle a woman better than U. he should take her to an expensive place? please read ur comment and laugh @ yourself. A woman is like a crooked rod,if u handle her too lightly she remains crooked, if you use too much force, the rod might break. the only way is to maintain a balance between the Both

fresh_dude: And how do we know she's sane?

byvan: There is definitely something that OP is not saying,no one is this good.i believe she knows something about you that you don't know that she knows, thus her preparation to live a life without you.

Something is definitely wrong somewhere and it is not just with OP's wife.

byvan: There is definitely something that OP is not saying,no one is this good.i believe she knows something about you that you don't know that she knows, thus her preparation to live a life without you.

Something is definitely wrong somewhere and it is not just with OP's wife.

Eegulize: The Selfish Spouse/Relative

" The great danger for family life, in the midst of any society whose idols are pleasure, comfort, and independence, lies in the fact that people close their hearts and become selfish," John Paul II.

Selfishness has been described as one of the major enemies of married love and of love within the family. This description is psychologically correct because selfishness, while falsely appearing to have many benefits, actually turns the person in upon himself/herself, thereby interfering with healthy self-giving which is essence of marital love. Subseqently, this personality weakness creates significant pain and suffering in marriages and families. It is a major cause of marital anger, permissive parenting, addictive behaviors, infidelity, separation and divorce. Unless it is uncovered and addressed, selfishness will lead spouses to treat loved ones as objects and not as gifted persons.

http://www.maritalhealing.com/conflicts/selfishspouse.php

@OP
Be strong and courageous but don't contemplate divorce. The Lord will see you through.

Genius100: Na wa for you silly Nigerians. How can your wife be working, making as much as you, yet she's not contributing at all to take care of the household expenses. All you unmarried man better have this discussion with your wives before getting married. Only a selfish, self centered, greedy woman will think it's right for her to keep all her money to herself to the extent that the man has no savings.

Guy, the only option for you at this point may be to threaten a divorce and be ready to go through with it. If she comes and beg and is remorseful then you must renegotiate how things work in the house. As the man, you definitely should pay for more but she must contribute as well. Second, you need to prioritize saving your money as well. When you create a situation where a woman has next to nothing to lose by leaving you, then they threaten divorce. Stop sacrificing your entire being while your wife is just there putting her money in the bank and planning for life without you.

Ultimately you have to man up. If she goes talking to her mom and she starts calling you, do not pick the phone. You have to run your own house. If she cannot respect your authority then call it quits and move on. It's not easy but my intuition tells me you have to show that you are ready to divorce her if she does not do the right thing for things to get better.

bukatyne:

Funny enough, most people think this man's actions are 'manly'

soul_glo:

So true. I have realized that it is not just the women that want it that way. The men do it to give themselves this false sense of superiority. As if the woman will grow a p3nis and impregnate him if she starts contributing financially. After they have equated their worth as a man by being the one that pays all the bills they turn into insecure and bitter tyrants because their wives are making money. The wives in turn see them as less because when they made the money they acted more like their superior not their friend. Now the tables are turned nobody wants to be friendly and nobody wants to compromise. The man himself will be too embarrassed to ask the woman to chip in because he knows he blew that chance with his behavior when he made the money. In summary stupid pride. Something Nigerians are very good at. Prideful over silly things. Like a woman slapping her husband because she paid for the pot or the freaking soup in the pot and a man telling his wife to "pack out of his house" because he knows for a fact she has no where to go. SMH. Please don't feel too sorry for them. They will not change.
It is virtually impossible to plan for the future together without knowing what each other makes but you still see cases were either husband or wife is buying land and building houses in Nigeria without the other knowing. They all have their motives so don't feel bad for them. If the wife does not know how much the husband really has then she will have no idea when he spends $5000 on another woman. If the man does not know what his wife makes then he will not know that she has opened a boutique in Nigeria and paying the school fees of her entire extended family. All this money that should have been accounted for and agreed upon as a couple.

When Nigerians start understanding that money is not what makes a man or woman, when they start understanding that the things that are important in life are our moral values then maybe they could weather the storms better. Being able to pay bills does not make you a man. [size=18pt]Even animals act movies and get paid LMAO[/size]. Being able to cook soup and give birth to sons does not make you a woman even your 13 year old child slave you brought from the village can do both. Don't feel that because you pay the bills you have fulfilled your role as a husband and because you cook and your husbands stomach is so distended he looks like he needs to be de-wormed you now have a certificate of womanhood and should bring nothing else to the table. Those times have passed.

soul_glo:

So true. I have realized that it is not just the women that want it that way. The men do it to give themselves this false sense of superiority. As if the woman will grow a p3nis and impregnate him if she starts contributing financially. After they have equated their worth as a man by being the one that pays all the bills they turn into insecure and bitter tyrants because their wives are making money. The wives in turn see them as less because when they made the money they acted more like their superior not their friend. Now the tables are turned nobody wants to be friendly and nobody wants to compromise. The man himself will be too embarrassed to ask the woman to chip in because he knows he blew that chance with his behavior when he made the money. In summary stupid pride. Something Nigerians are very good at. Prideful over silly things. Like a woman slapping her husband because she paid for the pot or the freaking soup in the pot and a man telling his wife to "pack out of his house" because he knows for a fact she has no where to go. SMH. Please don't feel too sorry for them. They will not change.
It is virtually impossible to plan for the future together without knowing what each other makes but you still see cases were either husband or wife is buying land and building houses in Nigeria without the other knowing. They all have their motives so don't feel bad for them. If the wife does not know how much the husband really has then she will have no idea when he spends $5000 on another woman. If the man does not know what his wife makes then he will not know that she has opened a boutique in Nigeria and paying the school fees of her entire extended family. All this money that should have been accounted for and agreed upon as a couple.

When Nigerians start understanding that money is not what makes a man or woman, when they start understanding that the things that are important in life are our moral values then maybe they could weather the storms better. Being able to pay bills does not make you a man. Even animals act movies and get paid LMAO. Being able to cook soup and give birth to sons does not make you a woman even your 13 year old child slave you brought from the village can do both. Don't feel that because you pay the bills you have fulfilled your role as a husband and because you cook and your husbands stomach is so distended he looks like he needs to be de-wormed you now have a certificate of womanhood and should bring nothing else to the table. Those times have passed.

jumzzy448: Wow......I think you both should separate for a while. I feel you are giving in your best to see this marriage working out while your wife isn't. If she feels she's tired, let just say it instead of all these headaches and troubles she's making you go through.
Na wa oo.

Ujujoan:

The actions of people around you is a direct reflection of who you are.

wasak:
confiscate her phone, destroy her sim card, if she questions u, tell. her u are treating her like a child because She's behaving like a child, let. her know you'll continue treating her like a child until She's mature! what nonsense!