chineloSA:


This is serious o. Simply tell the wedding planner if you had one.Unfortunately you still have to pay for all the services plus the services to cancel. Also use the invitation list to send them cancellation cards or e-mail or message's

Also don't underestimate the power of snowballing, tell a few people in a few circles and it will snowball like that. People will phone for confirmation.

If you need a "AM SINGLE AGAIN PARTY" don't hesitate to contact me

That's wack. Sorry o.

idiot som1 that is going through a cancellation period,u want him to contact you? You must be very foolish to want to reap where you did not sow.

Exactly the same way you invited or informed them. So if you invited someone by card send a letter informing them that you regret to inform them that the wedding will no longer hold. Those invited by phone should be informed via the same media

Getting a refund will be quite difficult so be ready to loose some of your money. Request for a refund and if they refuse negotiate for a percentage payback

You keep trends? Good!

nannymcphee: Pls when going over to her parents house, go with able bodied men or plain clothes police, just incase they want to act funny. Regardless of who was at fault it's a shame to both families so u can't tell how they will react

pls it will be beneficial for the house to know what happened, so that one can learn, but I hope it has nothing to do with these events

In apr, u posted this

www.nairaland.com/1267302/quick-expulsion-weak-sperm-pls

In may, u posted this

www.nairaland.com/1277940/dear-nairalanders-no-desire-sex

in all, your greatest challenge will be the physcological effect of a cancelled marriage coupled with ur ability to bounce back

Gosh whatever his reasons are he does not need to say.

Whatever u do, don't go the girl's home alone, and don't allow yourself to be sucked into "nobody is perfect speech". U ve made ur decision , be prepared for some days of depression, but , don't change ur mind

Prince Justice: Hope you have not paid her Bride Price?

gud question?

The rate at which planned marriages are failing these days is quite alarming, its no more nollywoods, real life scenario. I never believed white wedding preparations could come to an abrupt end even when the bride price has been paid, bride 6 months pregnant, e be like action movie for my eyes. Wedding was scheduled to hold in mid August, cards printed and distributed, aso-ebi sold, hall was paid for (quite expensive in yaba area), bridal train chosen and their wears made etc. On the day of the traditional marriage which was held a month to the proposed date for the white wedding, the bride was nowhere to be found, my brother paid her bride price in her absence, after traditional rites, where was the bride, we were assured the bride would be brought to us in my hometown, 1hr after we got back to my hometown, we got our shocking news, a sealed envelop containing the bride-price, returned to us. Reason the brides mother said my big bro was not financially capable for her daughter as he could not afford to give her(bride's mother) complete 500k, to throw an evening party for her club friend. Of which my bro had already parted with 250k in respect to this club party stuff. According to her its a party each club member throws on the day of their daughter's wedding, and she couldn't afford been laughed/mocked at. It was like nollywood movie, believe me, that was the biggest joke I've ever experienced, wat amazed most was that the pregnant bride supported her mother in canceling the traditional and the planned white wedding.

go nd watch d film 'one careless night' by mount zion

arcbabe: idiot som1 that is going through a cancellation period,u want him to contact you? You must be very foolish to want to reap where you did not sow.

You must also be a mo ron to think that I am serious

A joke can never be an insult, but can heal a broken heart. So park jare

OP, it was only to cheer you up

funshybam:


very good suggestion.
I'm also faced with a similar situation with my baby mama... the gurl too refused to communicate with her people....still on it though, but this was the same advise I got from my counsellor.... It made alot of sense

All the best

@op!i completely understand ur reason 4 keeping d details quiet but i want u to know u can win this!just take it 1 step at a time.

As an Engineer, am so used to having a back-up plan that I dont see myself cancelling or postponding my wedding if there happens to be good reasons to cancel the first engagement. Kindly switch to 'plan B'. I will always have a substitute fiancee who will be duely informed and arrangements fasttrecked even if its on that wedding day and the occasion will still hold with little or no noticiable change.
THIS A JOKE OOOOH.
But on a serious note, having a 'plan B or a back-up plan' is important, just in-case.

ipasco: From a male reader
I'm not asking if I should cancel my wedding because that has been decided I am only asking how do you go about canceling it and letting invited guests know that this wedding will no longer hold.

My ex-fiancee's friends have already paid for the aso-ebi, the wedding invitation has been printed, the hall for the reception booked but there will be no wedding. My wedding was supposed to hold this December but I'd rather commit suicide than marry this woman.

I won't go into details about what she did but understand that no man cancels his wedding except it's serious. My parents have been informed about the new development but her parents are yet to be informed.

She has refused to tell them, insisting that I do it since I canceled the wedding. But her parents are the least of my worries. How do I tell excited family members, friends and colleagues that this wedding will no longer hold? Where do I start?

I was once in your shoes and had to tell her parents as she refused to tell them and instead chose to disappear to the UK.

It is simple. Once you get to the point you consider cancelling the wedding, you shouldn't be bothered about sentimental reactions.

Step 1: Go to see her parents and let them know that you are calling it off. I advise you go with one of your parents or family member so they understand that your family is aligned too.

Step 2: Communicate to those you invited via email or SMS that the wedding has been called off and apologize for the setback it might have on their schedule or finances (assuming they have purchased asoebi, etc)

Step 3: List out all the financial commitments you have made wrt the wedding (booking hall space, caterer, etc) and start discussion with the vendors on this. You might have to compensate them for whatever they have spent. Do this tactically so that they no not deceive you by claiming they have spent all you gave. Worst case scenario, you might be able to recover 50% of all you've invested.

Step 4: Do not go about explaining to everyone why you called it off. If asked, just say you cannot talk about it at the moment. Trust me, people would respect that and move on.

Step 5: Don't turn back. You would be a dog to go back after doing all the above.

Any which way, Life goes on. I moved on with my life when I had to do this and trust me, I do not regret one bit.

Rather a happy man than a depressed being all in the name of marriage....

Op...i wish i could tell u to try n make things up....cos i don't wanna imagine d hurts n trauma....but from ur tone its sounds something serious.....just do it respectfully,like u respected her when u both were in luv....if possible go to her parents with an elder or ur father.....n part in peace....that's d most important i guess....n Plsss know ur partner well enough before going on such venture again to avoid issues like this....goodluck....

U've already cancelled it..send mass SMS. Switch off ur phone and go on vacation

soul_glo: Gosh whatever his reasons are he does not need to say.

Here you are on another 'marriage thread' with your classic 'dumbidity'

So we're supposed to join OPs pity party and 'strategize with him' on how to 'Cancel' his proposed marriage (or is it announce) BUT somewhere in ur **** mind, we shouldn't know why?

We don't friggin kno this dude (or the lady)! So there's a difference between spilling it here and telling other invitees that desire juicy gossip!

If OP can't say Y he's canceling, shouldn't U feel silly counseling him to just break the hearts of the lady's folks?

What if he says the reason and its suddenly a bad idea to visit them alone? Or if he shouldn't at all? Or if there is a chance he's wrong?

If I were an invitee I DON'T NEeD to know his reason unless he's willing to share, BUT if he's asking for advice on how to go about things, its only SANE and LOGICAL to know why!

Dumb_glo

Ms Nas:
What the hell did you just write? Is this English or French? Damn

OP, since the wedding is off....just do the honorable and inform her parents yourself. Give them that last respect and take time to answer their questions. Trust me, they will ask a LOT of questions, so brace yourself for that.

Inform every other person you invited about the cancellation via sms, as someone said, they will be too busy gossiping to ask you questions.

As per the Aso Ebi part, I doubt if anybody will ask for a refund for that. I personally won't as I can still wear the material other times. Pele Sogbo?

u b gbooooooooooooo u no tel me say u no go school abi na nite school u go?mtcheeeeeew meanwhile OP just try and take my advice and save ursef all dis stress.

Like nannymcphee, I noticed you posted on
What to do if a girlfriend slaps boy friend's mother: https://www.nairaland.com/1193441/girl-friend-slap-boy-friends
and forgiving infidelity: https://www.nairaland.com/1274930/question-guys-why-it-harder.
Do these have anything to do with it? Personally, for the first as a girl, my bro's (wife now) ever tried something like that? She would be completely unrecognisable by the time I'm done with her .

so @topic: while I'm dying with curiosity to know what happened, it is absolutely none of my business. I am so sorry that this has happened to you. Please don't forget that whatever fault there may be goes both ways. You have already received excellent advice from judii, ifyalways, MsNas & ruffhandu; and superbrain summarized well. As baby123 said do not ever be vindictive about it.
my 2 kobos worth:
1. BEFORE you do anything. Take a step back, clear your mind and assess everything and make absolutely certain that this is where you want to go.
2. Don't ever speak a bad word about her, even if she is the devil incarnate in female form.
3. Take a break, even if just a weekend, after it all just to relax and clear your head and shut that chapter.
4. It will hurt, but over time you will heal. Please do not let this experience colour your view of women, it should make you more discerning but not more distrusting.
5. Be ready for the insults, pitying looks, whether her family who may not understand, or friends etc.
6. Definitely visit the parents WITH someone preferably immediate family who was there for introduction.
7. Send message (sms or email) to guests:

sample message:

Dear All,

We* thank you for your support and good wishes during this time of preparation for the upcoming nuptials between myself and 'ex's name'. However, it is with great regret that we wish to inform you that after great deliberation we have decided not to go ahead with the wedding. We recognize that you may have made arrangements towards attending this and would like to sincerely apologize for any inconvenience this may cause to you. This is a very challenging time for us and so we will greatly appreciate your prayers. Please respect our privacy at this difficult time.

Thank you.
signed (both names, yours and hers)

*Yes, We. I deliberately used 'we' above, do not in any way give off any impression that you called it off or it was a one-sided decision even if you did and it was. And if tomorrow she decides to spread that she called it off, let it be. Don't fight back, you see, the truth will ALWAYS come out.

I wish you well, and I hope you are able to move on from this to better things. I repeat "make absolutely certain that whatever the reason may be you have not done something worse otherwise you will be acting hypocritically". Remember there's this thing called 'Karma' and she is a very heartless and efficient B***h. Blessings.

Pattey:

Here you are on another 'marriage thread' with your classic 'dumbidity'

So we're supposed to join OPs pity party and 'strategize with him' on how to 'Cancel' his proposed marriage (or is it announce) BUT somewhere in ur **** mind, we shouldn't know why?

We don't friggin kno this dude (or the lady)! So there's a difference between spilling it here and telling other invitees that desire juicy gossip!

If OP can't say Y he's canceling, shouldn't U feel silly counseling him to just break the hearts of the lady's folks?

What if he says the reason and its suddenly a bad idea to visit them alone? Or if he shouldn't at all? Or if there is a chance he's wrong?

If I were an invitee I DON'T NEeD to know his reason unless he's willing to share, BUT if he's asking for advice on how to go about things, its only SANE and LOGICAL to know why!

Dumb_glo

You never dissappoint. You made a complete idiot of yourself on another thread. I ignored you and you decided to come on this thread and pick out my post and make a comment about it. Pathetic little boy.



I'm not asking if I should cancel my wedding because that has been decided I am only asking how do you go about canceling it and letting invited guests know that this wedding will no longer hold[size=8pt][/size].

I guess you missed that part of the OP's post. I should force him to tell me his life story for your amusement. Ewu nairaland. Village idiot. Go learn to read and then comprehend. You seem to have serious issues with both

aggiel: The rate at which planned marriages are failing these days is quite alarming, its no more nollywoods, real life scenario. I never believed white wedding preparations could come to an abrupt end even when the bride price has been paid, bride 6 months pregnant, e be like action movie for my eyes. Wedding was scheduled to hold in mid August, cards printed and distributed, aso-ebi sold, hall was paid for (quite expensive in yaba area), bridal train chosen and their wears made etc. On the day of the traditional marriage which was held a month to the proposed date for the white wedding, the bride was nowhere to be found, my brother paid her bride price in her absence, after traditional rites, where was the bride, we were assured the bride would be brought to us in my hometown, 1hr after we got back to my hometown, we got our shocking news, a sealed envelop containing the bride-price, returned to us. Reason the brides mother said my big bro was not financially capable for her daughter as he could not afford to give her(bride's mother) complete 500k, to throw an evening party for her club friend. Of which my bro had already parted with 250k in respect to this club party stuff. According to her its a party each club member throws on the day of their daughter's wedding, and she couldn't afford been laughed/mocked at. It was like nollywood movie, believe me, that was the biggest joke I've ever experienced, wat amazed most was that the pregnant bride supported her mother in canceling the traditional and the planned white wedding.

Na her papa go marry her at last, she go become her mother's rival. Rubbbbbishhhh. She would have put FOR SALE... HIGHEST BIDDER on the daughters forehead.

soul_glo:


You never dissappoint. You made a complete idiot of yourself on another thread. I ignored you and you decided to come on this thread and pick out my post and make a comment about it. Pathetic little boy.



I'm not asking if I should cancel my wedding because that has been decided I am only asking how do you go about canceling it and letting invited guests know that this wedding will no longer hold[size=8pt][/size].

I guess you missed that part of the OP's post. I should force him to tell me his life story for your amusement. Ewu nairaland. Village idiot. Go learn to read and then comprehend. You seem to have serious issues with both

You should probably go back to that thread and see how silly other respondents considered you to be. . .

And since you insist on advising someone on how to announce cancellation of his intended wedding, you should probably accompany him to his 'former' in-laws to be. . . And peradventure his reason is such he should have gone there with SANE people and not you; your scars should tell a good story of your idiocy.

Rubbish!

Pattey:

You should probably go back to that thread and see how silly other respondents considered you to be. . .

And since you insist on advising someone on how to announce cancellation of his intended wedding, you should probably accompany him to his 'former' in-laws to be. . . And peradventure his reason is such he should have gone there with SANE people and not you; your scars should tell a good story of your idiocy.

Rubbish!

You really are obsessed with me. If it was even a dog I might maybe smile at it but you paying this much attention to my posts all over nairaland is quite embarrassing. You ever stalked a woman before?

soul_glo:


You really are obsessed with me. If it was even a dog I might maybe smile at it but you paying this much attention to my posts all over nairaland is quite embarrassing. You ever stalked a woman before?

Excuse you? Ohun na da? Ayanma!!!

Once upon a time, you demonstrated soooo much idiocy on a 'marriage thread', and I find you doing same thing here again. . .

You can call this service to humanity; trying to force some sense in2 U so as 2 @ least save D not-so-fortunate guy that thinks by finding you, he'd have found a good thing

Sigh. You really want me to notice you don't you. Okay. I have noticed you. I noticed you on the other thread. I have noticed you again now. I am sure you will find me on another thread. I will also notice you then. Will that bring joy to your empty life? Please answer so that whenever you run into a thread where you see that soul_glo is following I will walk through the crowd of posts and specially notice you. It is the least I can do.

soul_glo: Sigh. You really want me to notice you don't you. Okay. I have noticed you. I noticed you on the other thread. I have noticed you again now. I am sure you will find me on another thread. I will also notice you then. Will that bring joy to your empty life? Please answer so that whenever you run into a thread where you see that soul_glo is following I will walk through the crowd of posts and specially notice you. It is the least I can do.

*yAwns*

Immatex: As an Engineer, am so used to having a back-up plan that I dont see myself cancelling or postponding my wedding if there happens to be good reasons to cancel the first engagement. Kindly switch to 'plan B'. I will always have a substitute fiancee who will be duely informed and arrangements fasttrecked even if its on that wedding day and the occasion will still hold with little or no noticiable change.
THIS A JOKE OOOOH.
But on a serious note, having a 'plan B or a back-up plan' is important, just in-case.

Waaaat! substitute fiancee? Guy u are a genius. And you expect a happy married life? People like you have up to 20 gals at the same time and even in marriageits same.

Patty & soul_glo, pls kindly take ur rivalry elsewhere lest you derail this thread.

The OP opened this thread cos he
Needs a way out.

Thanks

Immatex: As an Engineer, am so used to having a back-up plan that I dont see myself cancelling or postponding my wedding if there happens to be good reasons to cancel the first engagement. Kindly switch to 'plan B'. I will always have a substitute fiancee who will be duely informed and arrangements fasttrecked even if its on that wedding day and the occasion will still hold with little or no noticiable change.
THIS A JOKE OOOOH.
But on a serious note, having a 'plan B or a back-up plan' is important, just in-case.

I will take u up on ur serious note, pls how do u build ur future with two people at
The same time?? before u can talk abt engagement with a lady, u must have gotten very serious with her, how then will u be able to have that same seriousness with someone else(the plan B). It beats me

I'm currently in a relationship & there are certain things I share cos of our level of seriousness & I can't imagine myself sharing and planning the same with some one else.

what if your plan B has a plan B too, meaning the relationship is already built on deceit

I made my stand clear to my partner that deceit & outright cheating or building something emotional with someone else is automatic nullification of our relationship

send out dis-invitation cards...post it on facebook and maybe twitter.....don't use nairaland sha o....they might think it's another sahara reporters hoax..........



I would also commend you for breaking out of marriage....luckily you didn't learn the hard way that having a partner or being a bachelor is way better than going into marriage

Very simple dear colleague, As you knew bad rumor spread than that of good one, print the cancellation cards then give it to the peoples the same way you did that of invitation cards .......God help u, a broken courtship is much more better than a broken marriage....ciao.