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Six Dating Behaviors That Scare Single Men Away - Romance - Nairaland

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Six Dating Behaviors That Scare Single Men Away by simplycute(m): 7:26am On Jul 16, 2008
You're dating a guy, and it's the crucial first few weeks. You really like this guy, and you're wondering what you can do (or avoid doing) to keep this relationship going and not scare him away.

The truth is there are certain things that women can do that will scare men away. Don't sabotage a potentially great relationship that could have gone somewhere by scaring a man off right at the beginning.

Here are six dating behaviors guaranteed to scare men off that all women should avoid:
1. Trash-talking your ex. Don't talk negatively about an ex-boyfriend in front of a guy you're dating. I don't care if you're on your first date or on your 15th date with a guy, don't ever trash-talk your ex. Your ex is somebody you dated, invited into your life, and with whom you spent a lot of time. So don't talk negatively about your ex in any way, because what a guy thinks when you do this is that if he ever becomes your ex that you're going to trash-talk him the same way. So, when a man asks you about your ex, you can politely say, "We are no longer together. It was a great relationship while it lasted, and I learned a lot." That's it.

2. Paranoia Runs Rampant. Here you are dating a man you really like, and the first couple of weeks are going well. Then, that first boys' night out happens. In the beginning, you send him a text that says, "Have a great time tonight!" As the night progresses, however, seeds of doubt start forming in your mind about what he's doing, and you start to think "Is he cheating on me? Is he flirting with other women? Where is he right now?" So then, you lob another text in to him asking "What's going on? What are you doing right now?" Even though he tells you he's just hanging out with his friends, you proceed to make a major blunder:

“You start checking up on him with continuous texts throughout the night. This paranoia will push a man away.”
You start checking up on him with continuous texts throughout the night. This paranoia will push a man away. So when you are dating a man and he's out with his friends, respect his "guy time" -- it will make you the cool woman he's always wanted to find.

3. Trash-talking other women. A huge mistake many women make is trash-talking other women in front of the man they're dating. For example, you are out with him when a woman walks by wearing a skimpy short skirt. You say, "Look how promiscuous that woman looks! I can't believe she is going around in public like that!" What you are doing when you make comments like this to a guy you're dating is telling him that you're not confident in the way you look. It tells him that you don't love who you are and haven't embraced your own body. You are planting a seed of doubt in him, causing him to wonder if he he should date someone else who is more confident (and tolerant). Don't trash-talk other women. It makes you look really insecure.

4. Fishing for compliments. This is something that can drive a man crazy. Here is a typical scenario: The guy you're dating looks at you and says, "You really look beautiful tonight!" Ten minutes later, you look at him and ask, "How do I look tonight?" Stop fishing for compliments. Real compliments come from the heart. Allow us to compliment you when we really mean it. If we don't give a compliment at the exact moment you desire it, just accept it and be OK with that.

5. Clingy and possessive. You don't need to do everything together. You're still getting to know him. If there are things he likes to do that simply don't interest you, be cool with it. You don't have to be joined at the hip. If you are going to a cocktail party together, you don't have to be next to him at every moment. If you see him speaking with some woman at the party, do not immediately run over and start grabbing his hand and giving him a big hug -- and certainly don't do this all night long. You are being clingy and possessive when you do this.

6. Pushing friends on him. Avoid pushing friends on us too soon. Example: A woman will hang out with a guy on the first or second date and say to him, "You have to meet my friends Jenna and Amy. You also have to meet my friends Phil and Anne; they're such a great couple, and you'll love them!" A man hears this and thinks, "I don't even know you yet. Can I get to know you for a month or two before I have to go meet all of your friends and be put on display as 'the boyfriend?'" We don't want to be "the boyfriend" right away. It's too much pressure. We want to get to know you slowly and learn what you're all about. Believe me, once we get to know you -- and like you -- we will be more willing to get to know all of your friends.

Following these tips will help you get past the first month of a new relationship with a man and avoid some of the major pitfalls that can end a new relationship before it even starts. Be the confident woman you really are so we have a chance to embrace you. Don't scare us off before we have a chance to get to know you!

culled 4rm, ating coach, blogger and author David Wygant
Re: Six Dating Behaviors That Scare Single Men Away by CH3COO(m): 7:31am On Jul 16, 2008
nice  cheesy . write a book for nairaland's sake.


your username sounds too gay for a dude and you post like a she.
Re: Six Dating Behaviors That Scare Single Men Away by simplycute(m): 7:45am On Jul 16, 2008
lol hey dude i am not gay ok i think you have a problem undecided
Re: Six Dating Behaviors That Scare Single Men Away by CH3COO(m): 8:06am On Jul 16, 2008
whatever you say gay.
Re: Six Dating Behaviors That Scare Single Men Away by CH3COO(m): 8:06am On Jul 16, 2008
i mean guy.
Re: Six Dating Behaviors That Scare Single Men Away by simplycute(m): 8:13am On Jul 16, 2008
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha you are funny but 2 be frank i'm not gezzzzz
Re: Six Dating Behaviors That Scare Single Men Away by Templa(m): 9:00am On Jul 16, 2008
it's all goodbuddies. the post is alright and true. kudos to u poster. wink
Re: Six Dating Behaviors That Scare Single Men Away by segzicres(m): 9:10am On Jul 16, 2008
hey gay,simply cute i mean he's only tryin to get to u. don't fret.
Re: Six Dating Behaviors That Scare Single Men Away by Amanijuls: 9:33am On Jul 16, 2008
Hey! Why are u pple calling him gay?
No mind them jare,
U are the bomb!Those tips are hot and real.
Re: Six Dating Behaviors That Scare Single Men Away by iice(f): 9:36am On Jul 16, 2008
Who does that? @ Topic - Kids?
Re: Six Dating Behaviors That Scare Single Men Away by LordChaser(m): 9:37am On Jul 16, 2008
I've read this article on Yahoo main page. . . . Sooo true.
Re: Six Dating Behaviors That Scare Single Men Away by segzicres(m): 9:38am On Jul 16, 2008
anamalijus pls how long did it take u to read d post? n i suspect ppl of d same orientation defendin each other. no hard feelins.
Re: Six Dating Behaviors That Scare Single Men Away by Ibime(m): 10:28am On Jul 16, 2008
lol . . . you guys are funny
Re: Six Dating Behaviors That Scare Single Men Away by Temivict(f): 11:49am On Jul 16, 2008
That was nice post
Re: Six Dating Behaviors That Scare Single Men Away by Gamine(f): 12:02pm On Jul 16, 2008
Thanks to YAHOO
Re: Six Dating Behaviors That Scare Single Men Away by smooooooth: 12:07pm On Jul 16, 2008
Gamine:

Thanks to YAHOO



learn to give a man some kudos, even if it was copied & stolen.

so how u dey,
Re: Six Dating Behaviors That Scare Single Men Away by Gamine(f): 12:15pm On Jul 16, 2008
Who u be?

Now that is one behavior, scaring me away!!
Re: Six Dating Behaviors That Scare Single Men Away by Nobody: 12:27pm On Jul 16, 2008
Gamine:

Thanks to YAHOO

No be small thing o  grin


smooooooth:

learn to give a man some kudos, even if it was copied & stolen.
grin
Re: Six Dating Behaviors That Scare Single Men Away by SENATORJD(m): 12:33pm On Jul 16, 2008
CH3COO:

whatever you say gay.
CH3COO:

i mean guy.
hhahhahaah grin
Re: Six Dating Behaviors That Scare Single Men Away by segzicres(m): 12:51pm On Jul 16, 2008
senator jd u lame jor.
Re: Six Dating Behaviors That Scare Single Men Away by tpia5: 5:44am On Aug 24, 2011
a psycho man wouldnt be scared away though grin
Re: Six Dating Behaviors That Scare Single Men Away by WebSurfer(m): 7:29am On Aug 24, 2011
Re: Six Dating Behaviors That Scare Single Men Away by MMM2(m): 8:01am On Aug 24, 2011
.
Re: Six Dating Behaviors That Scare Single Men Away by Strawberry001(f): 8:03pm On May 29, 2018
CH3COO:
nice  cheesy . write a book for nairaland's sake.

your username sounds too gay for a dude and you post like a she.
Lol cut him some slack.
Re: Six Dating Behaviors That Scare Single Men Away by Strawberry001(f): 8:04pm On May 29, 2018
simplycute:
You're dating a guy, and it's the crucial first few weeks. You really like this guy, and you're wondering what you can do (or avoid doing) to keep this relationship going and not scare him away.

The truth is there are certain things that women can do that will scare men away. Don't sabotage a potentially great relationship that could have gone somewhere by scaring a man off right at the beginning.

Here are six dating behaviors guaranteed to scare men off that all women should avoid:
1. Trash-talking your ex. Don't talk negatively about an ex-boyfriend in front of a guy you're dating. I don't care if you're on your first date or on your 15th date with a guy, don't ever trash-talk your ex. Your ex is somebody you dated, invited into your life, and with whom you spent a lot of time. So don't talk negatively about your ex in any way, because what a guy thinks when you do this is that if he ever becomes your ex that you're going to trash-talk him the same way. So, when a man asks you about your ex, you can politely say, "We are no longer together. It was a great relationship while it lasted, and I learned a lot." That's it.

2. Paranoia Runs Rampant. Here you are dating a man you really like, and the first couple of weeks are going well. Then, that first boys' night out happens. In the beginning, you send him a text that says, "Have a great time tonight!" As the night progresses, however, seeds of doubt start forming in your mind about what he's doing, and you start to think "Is he cheating on me? Is he flirting with other women? Where is he right now?" So then, you lob another text in to him asking "What's going on? What are you doing right now?" Even though he tells you he's just hanging out with his friends, you proceed to make a major blunder:

“You start checking up on him with continuous texts throughout the night. This paranoia will push a man away.”
You start checking up on him with continuous texts throughout the night. This paranoia will push a man away. So when you are dating a man and he's out with his friends, respect his "guy time" -- it will make you the cool woman he's always wanted to find.

3. Trash-talking other women. A huge mistake many women make is trash-talking other women in front of the man they're dating. For example, you are out with him when a woman walks by wearing a skimpy short skirt. You say, "Look how promiscuous that woman looks! I can't believe she is going around in public like that!" What you are doing when you make comments like this to a guy you're dating is telling him that you're not confident in the way you look. It tells him that you don't love who you are and haven't embraced your own body. You are planting a seed of doubt in him, causing him to wonder if he he should date someone else who is more confident (and tolerant). Don't trash-talk other women. It makes you look really insecure.

4. Fishing for compliments. This is something that can drive a man crazy. Here is a typical scenario: The guy you're dating looks at you and says, "You really look beautiful tonight!" Ten minutes later, you look at him and ask, "How do I look tonight?" Stop fishing for compliments. Real compliments come from the heart. Allow us to compliment you when we really mean it. If we don't give a compliment at the exact moment you desire it, just accept it and be OK with that.

5. Clingy and possessive. You don't need to do everything together. You're still getting to know him. If there are things he likes to do that simply don't interest you, be cool with it. You don't have to be joined at the hip. If you are going to a cocktail party together, you don't have to be next to him at every moment. If you see him speaking with some woman at the party, do not immediately run over and start grabbing his hand and giving him a big hug -- and certainly don't do this all night long. You are being clingy and possessive when you do this.

6. Pushing friends on him. Avoid pushing friends on us too soon. Example: A woman will hang out with a guy on the first or second date and say to him, "You have to meet my friends Jenna and Amy. You also have to meet my friends Phil and Anne; they're such a great couple, and you'll love them!" A man hears this and thinks, "I don't even know you yet. Can I get to know you for a month or two before I have to go meet all of your friends and be put on display as 'the boyfriend?'" We don't want to be "the boyfriend" right away. It's too much pressure. We want to get to know you slowly and learn what you're all about. Believe me, once we get to know you -- and like you -- we will be more willing to get to know all of your friends.

Following these tips will help you get past the first month of a new relationship with a man and avoid some of the major pitfalls that can end a new relationship before it even starts. Be the confident woman you really are so we have a chance to embrace you. Don't scare us off before we have a chance to get to know you!

culled 4rm, ating coach, blogger and author David Wygant
Made sense. A little guilty of d 1st one tho

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