Tgal, thanks for that info.

CC, suprisingly, married women abort more than single ladies.
Walk into three or four well know private clinics.
U will be shocked!

chaircover: Thanks Obina
I didn’t even see the context of the debate i.e. couples engaged & I was talking in general. Which brings me to my next question then.

. . when you say engaged to be married do you mean the oyinbo style where they can be engaged for over a year and in some cases the wedding never eventually happens or are we talking about the Yoruba way of doing things where these days the engagement holds on Friday and the wedding the very next day?

Tgirl what did you have in mind dearie?

There's no stipulated period between engagement and actual wedding. It could be a day or could be for eternity or in between. But I'm totally against the two extremes (ie one day or infinity years). I believe the duration between the engagement and the marriage should not exceed 3 years. Personally I think the ideal is 6 to 12 months. However if the intending couples can know the important things about each other (sexual compatibility inclusive) before 6 months, then they can go ahead and tie the nuptial knot.

Tgirl4real:

Yes, the numbers change for each round.

We have 2 rounds left. By the final round, each contestant will post their arguments themselves.

nice one...

Interestin on the abortion debate
I no know say married dey abort eh..

dem tell me say u no count dey pikin for married woman

all na GOD

yellowpawpaw: Tgal, thanks for that info.

CC, suprisingly, married women abort more than single ladies.
Walk into three or four well know private clinics.
U will be shocked!

Lol

Because they can actually walk in there legally with their hubby, unlike d singles. Most hospitals don't even abort except for medical reasons - evacuation.

And the topic "should abortion be legalised" would have been a very good and controversial one. Lol

pickabeau1:

nice one...

Interestin on the abortion debate
I no know say married dey abort eh..

dem tell me say u no count dey pikin for married woman

all na GOD

I was shocked myself after I got married hearing married people talk about it like it's no biggie.

We had such a thread here where the hubby said their baby is yet to be 1 or just 1 and the wifey had aborted 3x cos they didn't want another baby yet. Lol

me sef i trip oo

My peeps around me cannot fathom

If e show, na God do am...

Guess they are still traditional folks

Tgirl4real:

I was shocked myself after I got married hearing married people talk about it like it's no biggie.

We had such a thread here where the hubby said their baby is yet to be 1 or just 1 and the wifey had aborted 3x cos they didn't want another baby yet. Lol

Results?

Results

Results

well done guys

Though disappointed, but relieved!

Nice job the judges.
Tgirl, u gat a great husband.
Debaters, wishing u d best. May d best win.
Cc, I dey feel u.

Goodnight!

Congrats to all contestant.

This result na real shocker.

Welldone to everyone.

PS: Can the contestants use an alternate handle going forward. It will eliminate bias and the usual nld groupies.

I am surprised Contestant 5 and 6 did not dominate in this round despite a very strong opening round.

Sagamite: I am surprised Contestant 5 and 6 did not dominate in this round despite a very strong opening round.

It's not the same contestant numbers from the opening round.

Sagamite: I am surprised Contestant 5 and 6 did not dominate in this round despite a very strong opening round.

Contestant 5 of this round is still contestant 5 of the last round, but contestant 6 of the last round is contestant 1 for this round.

The nos change..

Okay o.

Hmmm....would've thought -and quite liked - for the wider discussion to continue. Presumably input is now open to all?

Obinoscopy: @Chaircover I had to quote the coodinators's post for you to have a grasp of the context of the debate.

I am not endorsing sex between teenagers who are not yet ready to get settled. I'm not endorsing sex between youngsters who don't know the meaning of the word "commitment." My debate is for two consenting adults who love each other and are courting.

From a societal point of view, this position is patently unworkable. Sex before marriage is sex before marriage. And even the merest consideration makes it pretty clear that you can't restrict it to those "intending to marry". I touched on this point in my submission. The human condition and peoples tendencies are clear, once you open the door, it's a slippery slope. To wit;

How would you enforce this? Especially given as people are increasingly repudiating religious stricture and societal norms. It would at best apply to a few "well-intentioned" (although ill-advised) believers.

What of those who consider their relationship committed or permanent, with marriage being a possibility, but by no means certain and possibly not in the near future. Westerners often have long engagements. SBM for 5 + years?You would be simply unable to draw or enforce a line for this.

Look at abortion and abortifacients (morning-after type pills). It was claimed they would only be used in extreme case of danger to mothers health, rape etc. They are now routinely used as everyday birth control, period!

Obinoscopy:
So the issue of abortion or unwanted pregnacies needn't arise. The pregnancy may even be the much desired trigger factor for the couple to tie the nuptial knot.

Wrong, most couples want children after the nuptials. Whether that be due to the stigma or just not being ready/settled in the run up or just after marriage.

It would probably lead to contraception, which is in itself dangerous for women. Men rarely take responsibility here.

Obinoscopy:
As regards my calling God's name. I wonder why you say I shouldn't call His name. I'm yet to see a verse in the bible where God spoke against sex between two adults who are already engaged. The bible only spoke against adultery and fornication. Fornication or sexual immorality is between two people who don't even have any intentions of getting married.

Unbiblical. The marriage bed is undefiled. The only biblically legitimate context for intimacy is between man and wife. It's worth noting that a biblical betrothal was not like our modern day engagements. There was no going back. Hence Josephs mind to "put her away". You can't divorce someone you are not married too.

Again this would be held by only a few hard-core believers. I opened my submission acknowledging the fact that people are increasingly moving away from religious stricture. You can't make it the mainstay of your position - although a noteworthy reference - in this debate.

Obinoscopy:
Finally you talked about virginity. I encourage ladies to keep their virginity intact. However I'm of the opinion that a lady may lose her virgin to a guy who has already proposed. After all, they will eventually get married.

It is hoped/expected. But this is not certain even for the religious. Plus deception is a real possibility, which is something you yourself allude to, as I'll point out next.

Obinoscopy:
The essense of having sex before marriage is to ascertian if all the couples told each other about their sexuality is actually true. For instance, a guy might claim he is potent and fertile. The lady might claim she has high libido. All these can't be verified unless they do it .

Here you repudiate your own point of "After all, they will eventually get married", because clearly "verification" has to take place prior to marriage in the model you propose and failure means "end-of". People can pretend sexually as well as other ways.

Like everyone else that proposes testing you fail to -or ignore - some obvious considerations;

How does one acquire the competency to test? Sebi na virgin?
What does one test for? Thrust power, girth spm (strokes per minute), what? Let me leave out WTB's own for modesty' sake!
How long? Presumably you'd have to practice and perform
What prompts sign-off? Consistent heavenly feeling? Multiple HF? Delivery of a bouncing baby boy?

It means the potential to call off due to non-verification is unlimited. It's a charter for permissiveness and always pushed by those who were probably wanton. Unrepentantly so and hate being convicted.

Obinoscopy:
Marriage is a life-time commitment, we don't want after regrets. We don't want a woman to go into a marriage with a man who never give h orgasms for the rest of her life without her pre-knowledge, it would be cheating on her. The same applies for the man.

Another falsehood;

Firstly, even were there is mutual desire and affection. It has to be worked at and sex "evolves between couples.

Secondly, there is understanding/education/counselling for poor form or style. That's why you get with someone who cares and is committed as they will make the effort to satisfy you.

Thirdly, marrying a "CC" means they will not put their satisfaction first. All this "I must test, I must test" is about self-serving types, who typically can't put sex in context, short or long term.

Fourthly, at best it's a snapshot. Life tends to happen in a marriage. Listen to the guy lamenting about schedules "dulling his dongle". What has that to do with compatibility? Circumstances, situations, stress, illness, pregnancy and birth - i.e. Life - will all impact a couples dynamic when it comes to love-making. Couples typically smooth and manage their sex lives as best they can. That's why you get a CC. If sexual compatibility is key, is divorce in view if it disappears, short or long-term?

Fifthly, great sex does not make a marriage and won't of itself save one. After a point it can't have more than marginal value.

Sixthly, let me rest jor!

TV

Chai.. I'm totally infuriated with my self for not being here.. Crystal-clear short essays that are easily to peruse assimilate.. This is presentations are absolutely enlightening. I really missed something here.


Una weldone o, even as una greet judge, greet unasef, greet Iyabo, greet Nkechi, but una no greet me, I forgive una. Still, my critic eye no gree me rest. See Bleep-ups wey I observe.
1. Construct ya topic so e go directly reflect wetin you dey support without showing ya opponent own.
2. Because una just dey do 'copy' and 'paste', some of una work just resemble. E no too bam like that.
3. Which one come be bulleting and numbering of the points again? That one na dulling on top essay. Number werin you quote, not your points.
4. No dey abuse the bold option. If you use am for title, e don do.
5. We go school. If we see conclusion, we go know. You no need type am join ya essay.

Lol @ Deschyko.

@ TV01, I gueess discussion continues.

chaircover: Please what is "CC"

"Caring and Committed" for the purpose of the debate - not to infringe on your copyrighted version !

chaircover: TV this your grammar sef

I've stepped it down small na .


Where are the champions of wanton permissiveness? Totally ignoring the heartache, pain, suffering and destruction that usually ensues after SBM.

TV

TV pls don't step it down. Me likey.
Its ur signature.

I hv my dictionary anytime I'm going tru ur posts. Lexicology 102 continues!

U guys r xceptional.

yellowpawpaw: TV pls don't step it down. Me likey.
Its ur signature.

I hv my dictionary anytime I'm going tru ur posts. Lexicology 102 continues!

U guys r xceptional.

Lol

From a societal point of view, this position is patently unworkable. Sex before marriage is sex before marriage. And even the merest consideration makes it pretty clear that you can't restrict it to those "intending to marry". I touched on this point in my submission. The human condition and peoples tendencies are clear, once you open the door, it's a slippery slope. To wit;

EXACTLY!!!!!

While I think what every adult does in the privacy of their bedroom is their own business, I don't think trying to differentiate what one is doing by calling it something else....makes any difference. SEX IS SEX IS SEX!!!


In my opinion, the best defense for having sex premarital or no-marital should be - BECAUSE I WANNA!

Now I know that sounds a bit rebellious or self serving but honestly the truth is that's what it's all about. It's not about test driving or getting to know you partner better or whatever else, it is simply because you want too and if you are comfortable with your decision? Why not?!

Update:

https://www.nairaland.com/1527899/family-section-debate-semi-finals

Good job mods

Its good to see all these 'arguing' skills put to constructive use

salsera: Good job mods

Its good to see all these 'arguing' skills put to constructive use

Thanks dear.

Semi final is coming up soon.

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