I need your advice on how to effectively annul the traditional marriage between my
sister and her abusive husband.
My sister had been living with him for five months but had to flee her matrimonial home because of her husband incessant battering that has left her bruised physically and emotionally.
On several occasion, our family and that of her husband had to intervene and cautioned the husband for him to change his ways but to no avail.
The last straw was when my sister lost her only pregnancy as a result of his beatings by which we had to advise her to leave the marriage.
My family had made several attempts to return the bride-price to our in-laws which they refused, requesting for a reconciliation between the two. We also turned down their request because my sister is too terrified to go back to the marriage, fearing for her life.
Since our in-laws had refused to collect the bride-price what are the other options or procedures one should take to annul an ibo traditional marriage. Though this will lead to divorce, I think the best option is for my sister to leave the marriage and look for better life elsewhere rather than become a victim of domestic abuse (I love my sister so dearly and I've always wished her the best in life)
Secondly, will my sister have any chance to remarry by the time this is over? Pls, to anyone that have had such an experience, I need your advice. God bless you all as you contribute.

Your family needs to call a family meeting where it is documented that the bride price should be returned and the bride is also in agreement. Then you have to go to customary court to get it annulled. Usually, the court will advise you to drop it at the "groom's" local government and inform them in writing before and after you do so. Then you guys are free to go.

Make sure you involve the customary court since it is not an amicable break-up.

@op,the story is xo touching.By Right,A Sane man is not suppose to Hit a woman.not rulin out the fact that,as women we have Bad mouth And loose Tongue.Its Beta to quit the union Alive,than to return with her corpse.I think your family,should just find any available means,to refund the dowry.we have had casese of husbands battering their wives.As sure,ur sister would find love again,but the traumatic expirience,she had with her previous hisband. Wil take time to erase.i wish her Best of luck.

Once their is no child involved, re marrying won't be a problem if it is her destiny to be married. I think the court should get involved,there must be a way to return the bride price.Meet the elders and find out the way forward,its good you took this decision.Always better to be a living Miss than a dead Mrs.


Do what blank said.

Pls,why do some Men,like Batterin their wives?

5 months??

wow////

Annie2gud: Pls,why do some Men,like Batterin their wives?

Frustration,bad upbringing,low self esteem,drunkness or even sheer stupidity.Yet again,some women are unbelievably crazy,they pull their husbands by the collar and even hit him,before you know it,man looses temper and here comes battering.

Let her flee first the parents would sort out the annulment

All the cash, goats Yam if they need to be returned do it ASAP

blank: Your family needs to call a family meeting where it is documented that the bride price should be returned and the bride is also in agreement. Then you have to go to customary court to get it annulled. Usually, the court will advise you to drop it at the "groom's" local government and inform them in writing before and after you do so. Then you guys are free to go.

Make sure you involve the customary court since it is not an amicable break-up.

Thanks a million for your advice.

Annie2gud: @op,the story is xo touching.By Right,A Sane man is not suppose to Hit a woman.not rulin out the fact that,as women we have Bad mouth And loose Tongue.Its Beta to quit the union Alive,than to return with her corpse.I think your family,should just find any available means,to refund the dowry.we have had casese of husbands battering their wives.As sure,ur sister would find love again,but the traumatic expirience,she had with her previous hisband. Wil take time to erase.i wish her Best of luck.

Thanks. I hope my sister would find her heart desire and pick up her life once again.

blank: Your family needs to call a family meeting where it is documented that the bride price should be returned and the bride is also in agreement. Then you have to go to customary court to get it annulled. Usually, the court will advise you to drop it at the "groom's" local government and inform them in writing before and after you do so. Then you guys are free to go.

Make sure you involve the customary court since it is not an amicable break-up.

GBAM!
Abeg, don't listen to that reconciliation crap!

...

byvan:


Frustration,bad upbringing,low self esteem,drunkness or even sheer stupidity.Yet again,some women are unbelievably crazy,they pull their husbands by the collar and even hit him,before you know it,man looses temper and here comes battering.

My sister is someone of a decent character and not the type that fights or lashes at anyone. She admitted to walking away from him whenever he starts insulting her and our family, and that tends to infuriate him the more because he felt disrespected by that.

He's a Sadist.

tojos:


My sister is someone of a decent character and not the type that fights or lashes at anyone. She admitted to walking away from him whenever he starts insulting her and our family, and that tends to infuriate him the more because he felt disrespected by that.

He is either frustrated or grew up in a home where dad hits mum and its ok.

Are you saying she did she not know he was an abuser prior to the union

tojos:


My sister is someone of a decent character and not the type that fights or lashes at anyone. She admitted to walking away from him whenever he starts insulting her and our family, and that tends to infuriate him the more because he felt disrespected by that.

pickabeau1: Are you saying she did she not know he was an abuser prior to the union

She wouldn't have known since the guy appeared to be a nice fellow. Little did we know that he would turn out to be like this.

At OP!
5 months is too short! If it was a civil marriage done in the registry, you will have to apply to court before you can go to court to divorce.
For Customary marriage go to the nearest Customary court, near where she lives to file.
You can reach me on 08093779782 for more.

Really tragic though this is hard to fathom

Abusers can only hide their true nature in very few circumstances however this is not a forum to diissect the underlying causes but rather move forward

For now let her stay in her parents place and start getting her life (career, education etc) back on track
By virtue of abandonment the marriage can be dissolved
Consult a lawyer

tojos:


She wouldn't have known since the guy appeared to be a nice fellow. Little did we know that he would turn out to be like this.

i.:
At OP!
5 months is too short! If it was a civil marriage done in the registry, you will have to apply to court before you can go to court to divorce.
For Customary marriage go to the nearest Customary court, near where she lives to file.
You can reach me on 08093779782 for more.

Thanks a million. However, I want to know which location to file. Is it at our town's location or the groom's location, because he's not from our location?

In the midst of that madness you wrote up there all I see is a blessed woman. She is free

blank: Your family needs to call a family meeting where it is documented that the bride price should be returned and the bride is also in agreement. Then you have to go to customary court to get it annulled. Usually, the court will advise you to drop it at the "groom's" local government and inform them in writing before and after you do so. Then you guys are free to go.

Make sure you involve the customary court since it is not an amicable break-up.

Do you know how long this process would take?

Your sister should be a woman and command respect from her husband.
Not your business really!
If CLARA CHIME can escape, so can she!

Since its an igbo marriage.
Simple.
The middleman with one or two elders should return the money and whatever that is needed to be returned.
Don't u guys have kingsmen?
Its their duty to do the needful.
Not a court thing at all.

Just like yellowpawpaw said,the middle man and some elders from ur place should return the money to the husband and in someplaces like my place they will take the bride price to the igwe's palace and notify the husband to go and collect his money back

ifyude: Just like yellowpawpaw said,the middle man and some elders from ur place should return the money to the husband and in someplaces like my place they will take the bride price to the igwe's palace and notify the husband to go and collect his money back

God bless u.
The family shouldn't hv gone without d middle man. U don't return money to the guy and his family. U return money to the kingsmen. There is no way due process is followed and the money will be rejected. If such happens, take it to ur king or chief.

Or, is it abuja marriage?

yellowpawpaw:
God bless u.
The family shouldn't hv gone without d middle man. U don't return money to the guy and his family. U return money to the kingsmen. There is no way due process is followed and the money will be rejected. If such happens, take it to ur king or chief.

Or, is it abuja marriage?

Good question . . .

a nuru'm na ndi igbo na agba zi nkwu na lagos/abuja . . .

That's why someone will ask a question like this.

Were they not joined together traditionally by group of elders...
Then my advice
call back those elders and unveil what is going wrong with the marriage. If no meaningful achievement. Then i suggest your family returned everything collected to save your sis from her daily punching before you lost her completely

to the best of my knowledge, if a man wants to annul a traditional marriage, all he has to do is go to the brides family accompanied with some elders and a keg of palm wine stating that he is no longer interested in the marr iage, thereafter the bride price would be returned.

thats how it is done where i come from and it is called igba alukwaghim.

As long as the marriage did not take place in a registry, by law they are not married. A traditional marriage is informal.

Thank God for kinsmen, this is their job.