Uduak u eh, in MS voice, your 1 no dey tire to enter 0

^^^^
laughing in Cantonese!
Great job @Rock

kingphilip:
Ruthia where av u been its been lng i saw u last

i've been around, i no dey make noise again

Ruthia: i've been around, i no dey make noise again

missed ur noise tho....
Wat r u doing been awake at 3.21am

I don read am... Need more

Rock 2day na sunday u no get any xcuse nt to drop lik 4-5 updates na!....No spoil today 4 me o

Happy sunday to u all.

Uduak come update o. I don return from church.

Winnie1950: Uduak come update o. I don return from church.

Choi!!! Dis conji no dey leave una ni?!

Fellow Nairalanders... Am back for real and i go type till my fingers enter voicemail

The rock5555: Fellow Nairalanders... Am back for real and i go type till my fingers enter voicemail

dancing skelewu 4 what u just said now

Fellow Nairalanders... Am back for real and i go type till my fingers enter voicemail

^ ^ I dey wait oo

I don stand for here taya waiting for an update. Uduak jst dey waste time with all these free camel toes.


*looks around to discover 5 empty Alomo bottles under my seat in the front row***
@Sexy sapphire,are they yours?

BLEEP MASTER
************
"So why did you invite me to your house today?" Racheal asked me.

"Ehen, you wan know?" i replied and shifted close to her, she reciprocated my efforts by also drawing nearer.

"Yes i wan know" she replied.
Game On be that na, my mind told me as i bent forward to plant her a soft kiss, she almost bite my lips, mehn the babe no dey slack at all, na so she follow my mouth like terminator.

One thing led to another and we were already frolicking around the sofa, her hands trying to tear off the sunday shirt i wore to impress her, i helped her removed it myself and went straight for her Manchester.

I occupied my hands ministry whille my piangolo was complaining for lack of action, she was in the spirit cus she started tearing my zip next, if say i know say na lion i wan bleep i for run for my life.

We were in stage two when i heard my name in dream land or so i thought, it was Aunty Charity trying to make me fail in my current mission but my sense pass hers, i no gree answer, i just continued my 69 with Racheal.

I heard Aunty Charity's door opening but what do i care, she rarely comes to our house so i continued to my mission's third phase which involves the real practicals

"Uduak do quick oo, before my madam starts looking for me" Racheal complained so i laid her down missionary style and looked for my Cds which submitted it self, when i don set my bianpolo to enter her obiasis the curtain just opened.

I was staring at the shocked Aunty Charity, i could see her make out the words 'Oduwa' then she smiled and closed the curtain, Racheal did not know what went wrong she was waiting for my private intrusion and when i was slacking she jacked me in and enveloped me with her sweet kitty cat(Chai i dey write bad thing on sunday)

After two spicy rounds i was trying to catch my breath when we heard the gate opened, she took her wrapper and shirts and flew with wonder woman skills under the dining table while me in confusion just flinged my clothes after her and jack my fathers towel and tie around my waist then sat down sweating.

This all happened in the space of 10 seconds(i guess i broke Usain bolt records or so i thought).

"Uduak my inlaw i don bring your wife ooo" Mama Otusha came in and dropped Otusha on our couch.

"Ok ma, no problem, i go take care of her" i replied nervously cus my heart was beating fast and the way Mama Outsha was eyeing my rod was frightful, it had refused going down, but i thought when fear and tension catch you, your pole suppose go hide but my own was daring Mama Otusha in a way of Madam come na, i go hammar you too.

She made to go then stopped and asked me wether i saw Racheal cus she claimed that she wanted her to serve customers and she was no where to be found.

"Ma i never see her oo, na in the evening she dey come lessons" i replied.

"Toor no problem na, make i go shop" She replied and went out then stopped at the entrance of the door and threw me another Boko haram question.

"No be her slippers be this?" Mama Otusha asked.

"Ehn slippers..... Ehm i no know ooo" i managed toi say out before a saviour came to my rescue.

***********************
"Make we go commercial break"

This is the Preacher's son family commercial break. Am Uduak Peter reporting live from my toilet where i dey type(b4 i 4get na inside toilet inspirations dey flow oo )

so now we wan do offering and collecting of gate fee so that this minis3 go move forward.

The provision go be Gym materials for my Bouncers with two cartorns of alomo.

Long Koboko for my mai guard and ushers to flog those noise makers who wan cause trouble.

A big office table and chairs with Hp laptops for my secetaries even though Machine x have been kidnap by Boko haram.

20k for my lawyer to defend me anytime sometin wan happen.

3 bottles of Champange each for my godfathers to gyrate it.

And 2Mb everyday for me and my Nairaland son to used for updating every day.

Then two rose flowers each everyday for my Nairaland wifes.

Failure to do this go cause Captain Sinzu to bring his barrack boys to mend una life.

Thanks for listening i dey anticipate ooo..

#End of commercial break#

Typing resumes.. Check back by 1pm....

Rock, i'm still expecting to see you on my thread.


Oga foxy, if you are seeing this...i've just started the story we talked about some months ago, kindly check the link in my signature. Bless!

Oya break neva finish

Break over

Abeg,make u dey describe dat.......part well oo.

Winnie1950: Uduak come update o. I don return from church.

Haba!!!8:45am?

Spambot know say I go ban u if u nor update

come update naaaaaaah. 1pm don pass ooo

buoye1: Haba!!!8:45am?

yes na. I always attend first service (6:30- 8:00 am). Dunamis church.

THINKING GENIUS
****************
"Uduak no be Racheal slippers be this?" Mama Otusha asked me, my heart skipped ten beats, how can i make that useless blunder of the century, i thought i covered all the loops holes but i was caught twice. WTF

"Mama Francis na my own ooo" Aunty charity rescued me. I heaved a sign of relief and waited for the next call of duty.

"Ok, e resemble my girl own thats why" Mama Otusha apologised and went out.

Aunty Charity left the slippers and went and back into her room but not after ordering me to come when i was through. Racheal came out from under the table smiling her fingers were soaked with her juice, she was fing'ering herself.

"Uduak abeg make we do one round quickly" she pleaded but i gave her a bad eye which made her dress quickly.

Is only she knew that my dicck was paralysed thats why it refused going down she would have left me alone.

"Oduwaaa, you no wan come again bah?" Aunty Charity quaried me.

"Ma i don come oo" i replied and ran to her room, i hesitated and then summon enough courage to go in.

What i saw made me pick race, Aunty Charity was calling me back but i held my chest to avoid my heart from spiling out and locked myself inside, i was really terrified.

*****************************
"Racheal no go kill me oo" I cried out one day after one of our numerous hot sexcapedes, the girl was a real rough rider but things were spinning out of control, she wanted to be with me all the time, she hardly respected her madam and wanted me to defend her when anything went wrong, she was growing horns which i knew would be broken one day. But my problem was getting rid of her before kasala burst on my head, though my game was covered from everyone except the angry Aunty Charity i had no problem but her controlling of my life was making me restless.

Racheal wanted to know who i called and who was calling me, she would buldge me with useless questions when ever she came visiting.

Then an idea pinged into my large brain, i had the perfect idea to make Racheal leave me alone, i would have used another girl to take her of my back but the only one i could think of was Naomi who would be glad and willing but would surely stuck to me like a leech if i dare involve her, it would be worse than Racheal.

The perfect decoy was no other person than Peter, that was the perfect revenge to deal with him for betraying me twice.

I dialled his number which he immediatly picked up like he was waiting pateintly for my call.

"Bros you sabi do runs ba?" i went straight to the point.

"Haba Peter, you don forget say na me be the oga womaniser" he bragged.

"Toor oga womaniser, i get one fine babe for you, she fine no be small and you go fit fucck her sharperly" i boost Racheal qualities.

"Mehn Peter you too much, this go be the best thing you don do since wey don born you" He joked.

"Best thing abi, you go hear am na" I thought wickedly.

I set their date for him and sent him her number, he began his toasting mission and told me that she was flowing with him.

After a week he called me back.

"Wetin dey shele?" i asked him.

"Mehn she say she wan see me" he replied excitedly.

"Ok her aunty get Restuarant so come meet her for there" i informed him.

He was glad and thanked me very well, if only he knew what big mess he was getting himself into he would have not taken the title 'Oga Womaniser'.

*****************************
"Chai make i go chop my sunday rice and stew joined with Five alive oooo"

The rock555:


****************************
*****************************
"Chai make i go chop my sunday rice and stew joined with Five alive oooo"

chop fast sama us updates jhor

Winnie1950: yes na. I always attend first service (6:30- 8:00 am). Dunamis church.

Ok......but that 6:30 seems too early 4 me oo

*****************************
"Chai make i go chop my sunday rice and stew joined with Five alive oooo". Make I chop ma own too

As me no get rice chop,mak I drink my garri too.,abeg who go borrow me sugar and kulikuli?

........waiting.......

buoye1: Ok......but that 6:30 seems too early 4 me oo

you must be a late rise then.

Were is Rock❓❔❕❗

Winnie1950: you must be a late rise then.

not really winnie!Mondays-Fridays... up early,wknds...Late rise