http://nationalmirroronline.net/new/when-your-partner-goes-on-sex-strike/
http://nationalmirroronline.net/new/when-your-partner-goes-on-sex-strike/

Call her to order fast

Every day we hear of funny, weird and or sometimes new or not so new methods of punishing one’s partner of a wrong that may have or not have been committed against one’s person and these methods even when non violent, are supposed to go a long way in creating an impact through an awareness of how deeply hurt we are concerning the supposed act of omission or commission our partner may have committed. These methods in most cases are believed to be foolproof and without a serious side effect to our person.

One of these methods is that of a sex boycott or strike by a partner who believes he or she has been hurt and is seeking for a non violent means of redressing the hurt. People believe that globally now women have been relegated to being sex objects in their relationships and some people believe that there may be valid reasons while a woman may go on a sex strike.

When sex becomes a weapon of choice in a relationship, the bed becomes a battlefield. People across the ages have sometimes viewed a sex boycott as a form of passing a strong message across to their partners concerning issues they feel non-violence means can equally help solve as I’ve already pointed out above.

In fact, it is now the norm among a lot of educated females and some supposed enlightened ones who believe that they have a right to their body to say that having sex with your partner is an issue that is strictly yours and not supposed to be a shared idea. They say that you should only have sex with your partner only when you believe that you can respect him and get the same respect back.

They believe that women should be responsible for their sexual activity instead of the joint responsibility that is generally expected in a loving relationship and I’m not one to refute or say that the belief is totally wrong. I’m not saying here that a woman does not have a right to sexual advances refusal from her partner.

As much as our cultural and religious mores says that no partner can abstain from sex without the permission of the partner, over westernization or female liberation should not be used as an excuse to perpetuate something that is not morally right within any relationship.

For me, a sex strike or boycott is a destructive, passive aggressive behaviour of abuse, designed solely to punish a partner regarding their differences of opinion and or conformity. It is a sexist temper tantrum of an immature personality.

I believe women have always had a choice about issues concerning them and if at all there is a problem, verbal means of communications are even better and will yield faster and better results than a sex boycott that may lead to creating or worsening an already bad situation or creating something worse.

A lot of women at this point will say that it is just paying men back in their own currency. Women have always erroneously believed that the average man is always using sex as a means of punishing them. They will go further to say that men have always been in the habit of sexual withdrawal whenever there is a misunderstanding between couples but I want to beg to differ here.

I need to point out at this junction that a partner who is doing such is only creating an excuse for the other person to stray and look for someone else to help keep his or her partner happy outside the walls of the relationship. It is a silly means of trying to force your partner to see things from your point of view.

Sexual withdrawal or sex boycott is also another means of saying there is a deep rooted problem in the relationship. I believe that good sexual communication in any relationship is the first step in the direction of solving a lot of issues in a relationship.

When one partner therefore goes on a sex strike or boycott, the person is therefore saying that there’s no good sexual communication between the couple. A woman doing so is even worse off because our society is very permissive of a man having extra marital affairs that may lead to his marrying another woman.

Therefore as a man who cherishes good sexual communications in a relationship, I’ll try and call my partner to order and also see if we can handle the root causes that may have led to her taking the decision, but if she’s not ready to listen or heed my warnings,, I’ll go the route of the typical African male and get myself a new partner fast who will be on the same page with me.


Call it off!

Undoubtedly, sex is a major need, if not the number one need, of men in marriage. You know all the talk about conjugal rights? Just call it sex rights! One way to determine the state of health of a marriage is to gage the ‘sex life’ of the marriage. Researchers have come up with all sorts of statistics, one of which states that in a good marriage, the couple have sexual intercourse at least four (4) times per week.

Please do not ask me if they did the research amongst workingclass couples in Lagos who commute from the mainland to the island daily. People always preach to women not to use sex as a tool of manipulation or not to deny their husbands their ‘sex rights’ no matter how unhappy they (the women) may be. Why? The theory is that once a man does not get it at home, he will go out to ‘get some’. But let us consider the reverse side and look at this issue from the woman’s angle: what if your husband goes on a sex strike?

Unlike the kind of strikes that trade unions embark on, sex strikes are not usually announced or clearly expressed, most times. It may take a woman some time to know that her husband is on a sex strike if he does not state it. This is because most men still have sex with their spouses even when they are not so happy with them.

You know what they say about how men have sex with their heads while women have sex with their hearts? Topic for another day! Anyway, once a woman realizes that her husband is deliberately depriving her of sex for a continuous period, what should she do?

A school of thought says that men can beg for sex, but women should never do so. In the same vein, a woman can make ‘the moves’ towards sex, but not too often.

This is because a woman should be sought after and not vice versa. Based on this proposition, it seems that a woman whose husband embarks on a sex strike should just wait for him to call off the strike; she should not beg him or make the moves to break the jinx. If we go with this school of thought, then the woman should either become celibate or she should indulge in extramarital affairs. I do not subscribe to this.

Although I agree that a woman should be sought after and she should maintain some level of dignity, I believe that a woman should be able to do whatever it takes to salvage her marriage. Since we have identified the fact that sex is a vital part of a good marriage, then both parties should consistently make efforts to keep the fire burning.

I am therefore of the opinion that if a woman realizes that her husband has gone on a sex strike, she should make obvious and deliberate efforts to call off the strike. First, she should talk about it; ask the man why he has gone on strike.

Even if you think you know why, just seek clarification. Now, if the reason the man has gone on strike is that he is having an affair and does not need your home activities, do not expect him to tell you.

In this regard, the first step is not a final solution, most times. If his reason is that you did something to upset him or that you have failed to do something, please apologise and make fresh commitments to avoid the hostilities. You ask: what if he is the one who upset you and instead of apologizing, he is “carrying face”?

Nothing stops you from swallowing your pride and sorting out the issues. According to a wise marriage counselor, it is better to agree than to be right. Beyond the talk, give him some green light.

Men are moved by what they see. Make him desire you again. Think about what gets him in the mood and do those things! He is your husband, so please go all the way! If it does not work the first time, try again… and again…and again. My message to men: the above advice does not apply to women only. Therefore, if your wife goes on a sex strike, woo her all over again till she calls off the strike!

Do not let pride get in the way and compel you to start having extramarital affairs because you will eventually regret doing so. Sex is very important in marriage and scientific research shows that the sexual atmosphere of a marriage can affect the individual productivity of the man and the woman in all ramifications – health, career, finances, etc.

Clearly, a sex strike will negatively affect both the person who embarks on it and the other spouse. So, how should you react to a sex strike? Call it off !




http://nationalmirroronline.net/new/when-your-partner-goes-on-sex-strike/
http://nationalmirroronline.net/new/when-your-partner-goes-on-sex-strike/

When your partner goes on sex strike, you go on infidelity strike!!!

If He/She refused to give you your rightful 'meal', then 'eat' in the available but very decent 'food canteen' around!!!

Abi I no talk well? Guys, wey tin bi wuna opinion?

These talk abt sex all the time hope u guys knows it kills as well somtimes I wonder wat so special abt sex.

Everything is special abt sex!!! It is the base for human emotional comfort, it boost psychological stability, it eliminate stress and regulates the hormones among many other things!!! So, sex promotes lifes and living!!!

Sex shldn't be everything. I think sane and married women do this to drive home their points. Matured men know how to pet and resolve it most times,except If love has gone sour. BTW, Kongy dey hold women too o

Waspy: Sex shldn't be everything. I think sane and married women do this to drive home their points. Matured men know how to pet and resolve it most times,except If love has gone sour. BTW, Kongy dey hold women too o

YES!!!

But, we are talking abt a case when a woman gives a pre-conditions for sex, and if not met, her spouse will not enjoy / experience sex with her again. Have you not read the article, please click on he link for more explaination of this.

Uselss girl... Way tin she no na WhatsApp and Facebook.... She no go turn in nairaland for better topic. Nice one bro...

It's a man with a good sense of duty and or honor, or fear towards possible repercussions who will rope himself into a s£x strike game when the alternatives. Another reason could be . . . his wife is one helluva f*ck. Well one thing is for sure, there 'all have to be a compromise for the strike to end. Otherwise the marriage could break. Or you live in a s£xless marriage till death, which IAS so unlikely I'd say its wishful thinking on my part.

Akinjohnson: Everything is special abt sex!!! It is the base for human emotional comfort, it boost psychological stability, it eliminate stress and regulates the hormones among many other things!!! So, sex promotes lifes and living!!!

wrong?

190: why would she go on sex strike

I hope she doesnt mind wen i start bringing other women to the house

be patient

Then my money stays in ma pockets.

190:

thats the first thing nau!

after all im gna be spending it on women outside who are in turn taking care of me

where the money wan from come for person wen nor dey nyash me

Ha!