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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? (27838 Views)
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Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by Nobody: 4:16pm On Dec 02, 2013 |
Might be a generalization,but has anyone else noticed such too? I wonder if there's anything wrong with Nigerian women abroad. The men keep trooping home to marry.Many ladies I know who got married recently married men that came from abroad. I asked one ersthwhile suitor why he wanted to marry me even though he didn't know me well enough. He said: ''no matter how you are,as long as you were raised in a Nigerian home,you can't be as bad as the girls over here. You need to see what they are doing. None of them is wife material. They can't cook, disrespectful, wild, unsubmissive , bla bla bla.'' That's unfair! Imagine being on the phone with my girlfriend that lives in UK next thing she says: 'LoLo I'm coming back finally' And I'm like 'why?' Hmm- she exhales 'There are no husbands here. I'll come back when I'm married' is it that bad? Guys abroad over to you. What's your complaint? Let's settle this matter once and for all 6 Likes |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by HisRib(f): 4:22pm On Dec 02, 2013 |
lorretta u: Might be a generalization,but has anyone else noticed such too? The ones I know wouldn't marry a girl back home. It all depends on the guy. 20 Likes |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by Nobody: 4:35pm On Dec 02, 2013 |
I noticed that too. And it hardly goes down well, in my opinion. Why is because those men want someone they can easily control. "sit down here and don't move" and she obeys. The girls there are deemed unsubmissive, and independent. That independence factor drives them nuts. The ladies know better, and know what respect from a man means and would not tolerate trampling on what they perceive to be their fundamental human rights. The men that think this way are usually selfish and egotistical although they might not show it. They think only about how they'll benefit from a "tamed" and "naïve" home grown lady. Now, he's coming home to look for a wife, but he has forgotten now that because he lives abroad, it'll be very difficult to find a lady who loves him for love and not for his money or his "abroadness". He meets a girl who puts on her best behaviour because, all she can see is her prospects of going abroad.. She is also selfish in this regard and will not show it. When they finally get married and she leaves Nigeria, and the euphoria of getting abroad wears off, you see this same lady displaying her real color. Now she also wants to be independent after her eye don open and she don see as e dey go. The man will see her as unsubmissive and rude and now he is back to where he started from, if not worse. The devil you know is better than the angel you do not know. Most of those girls they eventually marry are people who were recommended for them, and in most cases, the ones doing the recommending are in cahoots with the lady to dupe them. A lot of negative stories abound. . . There's a lot of eye-shining to be done. 53 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by UyiIredia(m): 4:39pm On Dec 02, 2013 |
@ lorretta: The answer is in your OP. The men tend to think girls from Naija are usually better wife-material. I kind of agree but I think there are still wife material up there though. The kind wife material Nigerian men abroad dey find likely abounded in the 19th century. |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by thorpido(m): 4:40pm On Dec 02, 2013 |
The impression most of them have is that girls raised in Nigeria can't be as 'bad' as girls raised abroad. For some of them however,they are getting into an error.A neighbour of mine came home from the US to marry.When the girl got there she became uncontrollable,probably cos she saw the freedom and the power she had as a woman.Today they are divorced. The guy came back again anyway to still pick a woman to marry. |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by Nobody: 4:45pm On Dec 02, 2013 |
No be say dem shoot bird en mama fly, but a lot of the Nigerian girls brought up in the West are not wife material. Nobody says the girl should not be independent, but overstronghead dey kill. There can only be one captain on a ship 13 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by ckkris: 4:52pm On Dec 02, 2013 |
Hillary Clinton is wife material. Mitchell Obama is wife material. Whether black or white. Most Nigerian men DESIRE a marriage that can last a lifetime. Ditto most Nigerian born women. Most Nigerian man will never marry a woman that goes bar-inspiring, that may seek divorce carelessly. 3 Likes |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by shizzle11(m): 5:19pm On Dec 02, 2013 |
lorretta u: Might be a generalization,but has anyone else noticed such too? look no further, the bolded is the answer. And if you Loretta look at deeply, you' all understand why its so 1 Like |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by Nobody: 5:19pm On Dec 02, 2013 |
Very true the recommendation part I won't lie to you.if I've gotten 10 marriage proposals in my adult life. 8 were guys from abroad. They tell their mothers they want to marry and the next thing you'll see is a woman coming visiting to the house to talk woman to woman with my mom. And the story always goes like this: "madam nurse. Achoro m ka nwam nwoke no obodo oyibo bia luru nwa gi nwanyi ejima nke ocha. Ihe ya na amasi m. O ga alota december ka-anyi bia mee ihe isi ya" "Madam nurse,I want my son abroad to come and marry your daughter the fair twin. I like her. He'll come back xmas for us to come pay bride price" Smh I've never even seen the guy in question before. (what if he's a drug dealer) Some will meet u online and propose so soon you'll be surprised. I don't mind if men in diaspora come home to marry their former sweethearts.at least they've known each other before he travelled But what I don't agree with is the assumption that home based girls are better wife materials. What's with many guys and easily controlled females? That's not a nice quality in a wife if u ask me. sexkillz: I noticed that too. And it hardly goes down well, in my opinion. 3 Likes |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by Nobody: 5:24pm On Dec 02, 2013 |
I don't agree with them Read sexkillz post. That what almost always happens. Unless the couple have dated before the man travelled,marrying a stranger in the name of home raised are better than abroad raised,could result in regrets. Tho I can't say I know much about how girls over their behave,but it can't be too bad. Many of them might even be very decent. But not being 'easy to control' is working against them shizzle11: |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by Nobody: 5:25pm On Dec 02, 2013 |
lorretta u: The wife should be submissive to the husband. MUST in fact. Otherwise lack of respect comes in. 1 Like |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by Dannylux: 5:31pm On Dec 02, 2013 |
lorretta u: The bolded cracked me up really. But from this one can deduce that most unmarried ladies abroad lack the African qualities expected of an average African lady. Respect! For guys - After running you will still come back here and marry our women! There's something unique about those born and bred in an African society. They have the fear of God and their husbands (not all ) Most of the females abroad get soiled by the negative impacts of westernization(Not all likewise) and this makes them unappealing for Men who love the African qualities. I see it as a norm for Men to come back for their brides. it happens everyday. 2 Likes |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by Nobody: 5:49pm On Dec 02, 2013 |
GustavoFring:being submissive doesn't mean you can't give and demand your own respect too. Actually being submissive isn't the same as being easy to control. IMO 9 Likes |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by Nobody: 5:51pm On Dec 02, 2013 |
lorretta u: being submissive doesn't mean you can't give and demand your own respect too. Semantics really. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by hotmolo(m): 5:53pm On Dec 02, 2013 |
Sum even train d naija girl de wanna marry tru out skul b4 d marriage. Witout knwin dat sum oda guy is screwin her tru out her skulin years 2 Likes |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by Nobody: 5:59pm On Dec 02, 2013 |
If u say so Oya lemme be submissive and allow you to win the arguement GustavoFring: |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by xynerise: 6:00pm On Dec 02, 2013 |
*African marriage is genuine and sometimes last longer compare to the whites. * Once a black always a black. They need to eat that African food again bro . They either come back and pick a wife or marry a Nigerian over there. * African women endure a lot unlike the white women. *Pressure from family sometimes. * How about his girlfriend/fiancee before he got his VISA? |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by Nobody: 6:02pm On Dec 02, 2013 |
Lol Doesn't he have a well known female he's sure he can live with? Y picking almost strangers? thorpido: The impression most of them have is that girls raised in Nigeria can't be as 'bad' as girls raised abroad. |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by Nobody: 6:05pm On Dec 02, 2013 |
Our girls like obodo oyinbo tinz so dey come home to touch their body with thesame hands they used in washing dead bodies, a thing the yankee-bred naija girls dont like. |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by Nobody: 6:22pm On Dec 02, 2013 |
Some of those Naija men that come home to marry, usually do so out of frustration. They may have been 'toasting' some Naija girls abroad who have been rejecting them because the men were not their 'types'. In other words, some Naija men based abroad feel that Naija girls, who live in Nigeria, are less picky than their abroad-based counterparts. Anyway, on the subject of submissiveness, some Caucasian men here in the US are into "mail order brides". These 'brides' are usually women living in Russia, who are courted and receive marriage proposals online. The White guys believe that these Russian ladies are more submissive than their American women. 6 Likes |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by Nobody: 6:23pm On Dec 02, 2013 |
We aren't talking about white girls Rather nigerian babes who live there with them. I've quite a good number of male friends who live abroad and they say they'd rather marry white girls than black girls born and raised there Unless she's a new immigrant. Don't u think that's too harsh? xynerise: *African marriage is genuine and sometimes last longer compare to the whites. |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by Nobody: 6:25pm On Dec 02, 2013 |
CFCfan: Some of those Naija men that come home to marry, usually do so out of frustration. They may have been 'toasting' some Naija girls abroad who have been rejecting them because the men were not their 'types'.really? That's a new perspective Anyway you'd know better |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by xynerise: 6:34pm On Dec 02, 2013 |
lorretta u: We aren't talking about white girlsThese Naija girls abroad sometimes are arrogant and full of pride just like CFCfan stated. They may not consider the hustlers over there but the rich or average Diasporian. But the home based Naija girls treat the hustler in abroad like king 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by Nobody: 6:43pm On Dec 02, 2013 |
lorretta u: really? That's a new perspectiveAlso, some of these American men go for Asian ladies due to the same perception of submissiveness. These Asian ladies, in general, are pretty much very meek. 1 Like |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by thorpido(m): 6:46pm On Dec 02, 2013 |
lorretta u: LolI guess he wasn't close to any before he left or the ones he knew are married. |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by Nobody: 6:46pm On Dec 02, 2013 |
CFCfan: xynerise:lol this submissiveness thing is causing big problems o Smh. What changed? Is it that men are becoming more demanding or the ladies are becoming less giving 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by Nobody: 6:50pm On Dec 02, 2013 |
lorretta u: lol this submissiveness thing is causing big problems oThe former is largely the case. 1 Like |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by GoodFaith: 6:56pm On Dec 02, 2013 |
lorretta u: Might be a generalization,but has anyone else noticed such too?Going to Nigeria will not solve the problem Go get a village girl or boy after few year of watching TV Story go change I will advice the Nigeria men to marry any lady that make they happy She does not to be a Nigeria woman 11 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by anwunta: 7:30pm On Dec 02, 2013 |
GustavoFring: We guys are quick to quote the 'submissive' part of the bible, but forget to quote the full verse of the particular scripture. What happened to the second part that said "husbands love your wife and do not be bitter towards them"?. If you love and care about your woman immensely, she will naturally submit to you without anyone saying it. And remember, the submission is to HUSBANDS not tyrant or bullies. Like sexkillz said, some of these men want a tame woman that they can bully around and it's not right. If you can't care and love your wife very well, don't expect her to submit and respect you. Respect is reciprocal my brother @OP, another reason is culture. Culture matters a lot and some people wants to imbibe such cultures into their kids and who's to do better than a nigerian woman?. Also forget all the thousand threads created to talk about the faults of nigerian women(they have their faults), the truth is no place like home. If you get a good nigerian woman as a wife, my brother, you have gotten a good thing 16 Likes |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by anwunta: 7:32pm On Dec 02, 2013 |
TribalEAST: Our girls like obodo oyinbo tinz so dey come home to touch their body with thesame hands they used in washing dead bodies, a thing the yankee-bred naija girls dont like. Dumb post of the week 10 Likes |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by melicent: 7:32pm On Dec 02, 2013 |
Moderator Front page tinz 1 Like |
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad Prefer Marrying From Home? - Why? by Nobody: 7:36pm On Dec 02, 2013 |
Are we talking about Nigerian men who have moved abroad or Nigerian men who have been brought up abroad ? Some girls here don't like naija men who moved abroad. They'll be like "ewww his nigerian accent is so strong I don't like it. Hes so fresh (fresh basically means JJC)" Or they'll be like "omg the way he acts is like some village man" blah blah Naija girls here have a very high expectations. They want guys that will take them to soho and drink expensive drinks. They'll be looking for an idris elba when they are attracting nkem owoh's. I guess that's why a lot of naija men are looking for their brides elsewhere. But I'm not saying all girls abroad are like this though, some are willing to date anyone. 10 Likes |
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