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Wat Do Y'all Think About Da Idea Of Marrying A Guy 4rm Nigeria & Bring Him 2 Us? - Romance (3) - Nairaland

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Re: Wat Do Y'all Think About Da Idea Of Marrying A Guy 4rm Nigeria & Bring Him 2 Us? by Studentet: 9:31am On Jul 25, 2008
Chinesedoll,

i noticed you've been campaigning for this your so called cousin for along time. The same way naija guys say no naija wife material abroad, na the same way naija girls say no naija husband material abroad. which one are we going to believe?

Chinese, i hope you are not having the same difficulty in manchester?
Re: Wat Do Y'all Think About Da Idea Of Marrying A Guy 4rm Nigeria & Bring Him 2 Us? by princessk1: 10:13am On Jul 25, 2008
@poster
WONDERFUL IDEA

somebody's life is about to change. hopefully he will stay wit u for a few years before he brings his naija wife, dont mind all those sayin u shouldnt, great idea .DO IT!
Re: Wat Do Y'all Think About Da Idea Of Marrying A Guy 4rm Nigeria & Bring Him 2 Us? by jkpretty(f): 10:16am On Jul 25, 2008
@ Poster
Find the right man where u are, the man u are going back to find might be different from the one u left. Remember the only constant thing is change.
Re: Wat Do Y'all Think About Da Idea Of Marrying A Guy 4rm Nigeria & Bring Him 2 Us? by manchibabe: 11:51am On Jul 25, 2008
@ chinesedoll
abeg o, if he is from niger delta hook me up oo, if fiona is still waiting to go to 9ja to ship her ex,

wats ur yim so we can chat
Re: Wat Do Y'all Think About Da Idea Of Marrying A Guy 4rm Nigeria & Bring Him 2 Us? by smooooooth: 12:09pm On Jul 25, 2008
have u asked if the guy will love to come join and get married to you. guys dnt think the way u girls think sometimes u know, thats why he is a MAN.

i was in same situation, my girl left, mine shld have even been better cos all the 5yrs she was there, we kept contact, and lately she wants us to get together again and wants me to come and stay with her and probably get married and raise kids. she said she no mind the cost or stress o. but i told her plain, NO. cos i dnt feel her anymore. and i had a girl then that i was crazy about,wont even go now she's gone. besides i got a job i love and a country that i have faith in,

so its berra u move on, dear, and find someone there, cos the guy don forget u, the only time he gonna show interest is if he's jobless and that na just to chop ya money, bone u.

but u can try sha, i may be wrong this time, (remeber we are not liable for any heart break o)
Re: Wat Do Y'all Think About Da Idea Of Marrying A Guy 4rm Nigeria & Bring Him 2 Us? by onyinye2(f): 3:18pm On Jul 25, 2008
HCH3COO:

not really. culture and environment play a big role in determining how you turn out.  the culture shock i experienced when i moved here was just  shocked  shocked .  you are a gross domestic product of america's privacy-obsessed individualized society.  whereas in nigeria religion, discipline, and commanded respect sets the tone for the rest of your upbringing. American bred kids usually lack that discipline and tenacity.  i'm suer if you grew up in that third-world slum called nigeria you will value the opportunities you are given here in America more.   Equality-seeking deranged women everywhere.  How do you even begin to arrive at that equality.  There's no way it can be evenly split.  Even the bible deems the man the head of the house.

What the hell are you talking about?? yes i grew up in the states and that just made me stronger. Seeing how parents sacrificed alot and struggled made me to value all the wonders america has to offer. And by the way are basically saying that american bred people are out of control and have no religion, discipline or respect. Who the heck have you been around?? Because i have alot of discipline, i was raised in the church, and dont even get me started around respect. You obviously been watching way too many movies to even talk about american people. I know the opportunities in america and i have taken full advantage of all them. From getting a scholarship to go to school, to being able to vote and know that the election aint faulty. Wow so you are bascially saying that im equality deranged? just because i dont want to be seen as inferior to a man im deranged? Abeg go and educate yourself because all you talk of is nonsense.
Re: Wat Do Y'all Think About Da Idea Of Marrying A Guy 4rm Nigeria & Bring Him 2 Us? by Orimili(m): 4:19pm On Jul 25, 2008
onyinye2:

What the hell are you talking about?? yes i grew up in the states and that just made me stronger. Seeing how parents sacrificed alot and struggled made me to value all the wonders america has to offer. And by the way are basically saying that american bred people are out of control and have no religion, discipline or respect. Who the heck have you been around?? Because i have alot of discipline, i was raised in the church, and don't even get me started around respect. You obviously been watching way too many movies to even talk about american people. I know the opportunities in america and i have taken full advantage of all them. From getting a scholarship to go to school, to being able to vote and know that the election aint faulty. Wow so you are bascially saying that im equality deranged? just because i don't want to be seen as inferior to a man im deranged? Abeg go and educate yourself because all you talk of is nonsense.

I've noticed that a lot in this forum. There's a lot of people here that know nothing about American-born and raised Nigerians beyond what they see on TV. I also grew up in the church, with much discipline and respect for others. One of the things I learned from this forum is that ignorance know no borders, and that there probably isn't much you can do about it, because they are too far gone to realize it.
Re: Wat Do Y'all Think About Da Idea Of Marrying A Guy 4rm Nigeria & Bring Him 2 Us? by HCH3COO: 6:59pm On Jul 25, 2008
Orimili:

Dude, I lived in Nigeria and the US long enough to experience both cultures, and frankly, I cannot agree with you on this one. The same problems you see with American culture existed in Nigeria for a long time. It's not fair to bring this "I grew up in X, so I'm better than you" mess into this. The only reason such problems are not obvious in Naija is because they are silenced. We are living in a time where women can do many of the things that man can do. I don't think Onyinye was trying to say that women are going to replace men, which you seem to be implying. It is because of this mentality that Nigeria is falling behind, when it should have been a progressive first-world country decades ago. If Nigerian-born Nigerians were so great, we would not be here having this discussion at all.

/rant

Now back to the topic . . .
blah blah blah.  no one is saying growing up in nigeria means you should have a holier-than-thou attitude, or that you are a better person.  there is a gigantic difference between the two breeds that can be noticed from a mile away.  we don't really conduct too much research on these stuvvs but if you were to carry out a survey, i'm sure you will find it to be true.  america has basically no culture, and american kids have way too much freedom to behave like hooligans.  i am speaking from what i have noticed.  you don't have to agree.

Orimili:

I've noticed that a lot in this forum. There's a lot of people here that know nothing about American-born and raised Nigerians beyond what they see on TV. I also grew up in the church, with much discipline and respect for others. One of the things I learned from this forum is that ignorance know no borders, and that there probably isn't much you can do about it, because they are too far gone to realize it.
ignorance will always know no borders. ignorance is also turning a blind eye to unfathomable racism because it is protected by law. but here sits ye, talking about ignorance.
Re: Wat Do Y'all Think About Da Idea Of Marrying A Guy 4rm Nigeria & Bring Him 2 Us? by HCH3COO: 7:13pm On Jul 25, 2008
onyinye2:

What the hell are you talking about?? yes i grew up in the states and that just made me stronger. Seeing how parents sacrificed alot and struggled made me to value all the wonders america has to offer. And by the way are basically saying that american bred people are out of control and have no religion, discipline or respect. Who the heck have you been around?? Because i have alot of discipline, i was raised in the church, and don't even get me started around respect. You obviously been watching way too many movies to even talk about american people. I know the opportunities in america and i have taken full advantage of all them. From getting a scholarship to go to school, to being able to vote and know that the election aint faulty.
there's no wrong in having an opinion from observation, is there? with that said, i don't think i need you to tell me if what i see is real or not.
you are just talking about yourself here.  this doesn't apply to everybody.  you are completely delusioned if you believe that environment shares no big role in how you turn out.  i don't need to watch tv to see how american teenagers or what have you behave.  from constant disrespect for parents, to celebrity worship, consumerism and so forth.  the average american child would rather spend the day shopping than worshipping God on sunday.  discipline? let's not even talk about discipline, if you dare spank your child you could end up in jail with your child taken away from you.  a culture of liberty aka "i can do whatever i want" and law-backed disgusting practices is what america has.

Wow so you are bascially saying that im equality deranged? just because i don't want to be seen as inferior to a man im deranged? Abeg go and educate yourself because all you talk of is nonsense.
what the hell did you read? yes, i did imply that you are not just equality deranged but also equality obsessed. you fail to understand that you can be a wife to your husband without feeling like an inferior human being.  yet you sit there telling me that you are a product of the church.



What's considered better in this back and forth discussion is based on opinion.
Re: Wat Do Y'all Think About Da Idea Of Marrying A Guy 4rm Nigeria & Bring Him 2 Us? by Pittbaby(f): 7:25pm On Jul 25, 2008
@HCH3COO

I think you have made a very unfair generalisation of Americans, There are equally unrespectful, non-church going people everywhere.And I really don't think  Nigerians can accuse any one of consumerism (no offense intended !!!)
Re: Wat Do Y'all Think About Da Idea Of Marrying A Guy 4rm Nigeria & Bring Him 2 Us? by timmfikk(m): 7:33pm On Jul 25, 2008
You guys need to break everything down and understand yourself without any arguments. to me i can never compare any culture to one another, i eat rice in my home every morning never means someone living away from me should also eat rice or bean every morning as well. A word is enough for the wise and future brighter ones.
Re: Wat Do Y'all Think About Da Idea Of Marrying A Guy 4rm Nigeria & Bring Him 2 Us? by Pittbaby(f): 7:35pm On Jul 25, 2008
@ Timmfikk

My exact thots O!
Re: Wat Do Y'all Think About Da Idea Of Marrying A Guy 4rm Nigeria & Bring Him 2 Us? by HCH3COO: 7:35pm On Jul 25, 2008
Yes pitt we can make that kind of comment.  the shopping malls are the cathedrals of worship in america. The only kind of consumerism the struggling, working class nigerian tends to practice is the kind required for survival.  it's an unfair generalization but i made that point earlier on that i will generalize.   the casual american kid is a spoiled brat.

timmi i agree o. is something wrong with me wanting my kids to experience drinking garri in the hot sun before they move on up to eating rice in their air conditioner?
Re: Wat Do Y'all Think About Da Idea Of Marrying A Guy 4rm Nigeria & Bring Him 2 Us? by Pittbaby(f): 7:50pm On Jul 25, 2008
@ HCH

I totally disagree with the spoilt brat statement. The average teenage middle classkid here ( particulary w/ naija parents ) is so much mature than the average middle class teenage kid in Naija. I know kids here who have developed business plans and run their own business , work full time jobs to pay for college and have a clear outlook on what they want to do in life . Not the case in Naija where parents still hand hold kids into their 20's
Re: Wat Do Y'all Think About Da Idea Of Marrying A Guy 4rm Nigeria & Bring Him 2 Us? by Pittbaby(f): 7:56pm On Jul 25, 2008
and in terms of consumerism O . I will rather shop in an airconditioned shopping mall than go to balogun market , where the price of some laces is more than the average naija monthly salary .

Yes things are more convenient in america , yes please over extend themselvesin the US , but thats because its available. Trust me if it ws available in Niaja , we go do pass. Naija's in America as a testament ( I know Students who but $700 coach purses ) we like good things just like americans O!!!
Re: Wat Do Y'all Think About Da Idea Of Marrying A Guy 4rm Nigeria & Bring Him 2 Us? by HCH3COO: 8:01pm On Jul 25, 2008
Pittbaby:

and in terms of consumerism O . I will rather shop in an airconditioned shopping mall than go to balogun market , where the price of some laces is more than the average naija monthly salary .
i will rather not spend too much time shopping for things i don't need.  away with useless spending.  i don't think you understand the concept of consumerist worship i am talking about here.

Yes things are more convenient in america , yes people over extend themselvesin the US , but thats because its available. Trust me if it ws available in Niaja , we go do pass. Naija's in America as a testament ( I know Students who but $700 coach purses ) we like good things just like americans O!!!
well i guess you now understand the point i'm trying to make.  there's no problem with people spending their money if they have it, but i am one to believe that too much of anything is a bad thing.  students buying 700$ purses that they use for a week then store in their closets never to use again. if i know how hard it is to earn money I won't spend it like a reckless driver.
Re: Wat Do Y'all Think About Da Idea Of Marrying A Guy 4rm Nigeria & Bring Him 2 Us? by Pittbaby(f): 8:09pm On Jul 25, 2008
well I guess you have your opinion of all Americans that can't be changed . unfortunately they also have their  view of us  that I hope we can change.

And I understand consumerism !!!! and never disagreed with you about the fact that the US is a consumerist nation afterall why are we paying $4:00 PER GALLON.

BESIDES when did 250K lace become a nenecessity

mY POINT NIGERIANS AND AMERICANS ALIKE ARE EQUALLY CONSUMERIST. ITS JUST EASIER IN THE US .

grin grin grin
Re: Wat Do Y'all Think About Da Idea Of Marrying A Guy 4rm Nigeria & Bring Him 2 Us? by ghanaman: 8:16pm On Jul 25, 2008
Woman do whatever pleases you, dont listen to so called love doctors here, if you wanna go to your homeland to seek for love do it
Re: Wat Do Y'all Think About Da Idea Of Marrying A Guy 4rm Nigeria & Bring Him 2 Us? by HCH3COO: 8:21pm On Jul 25, 2008
Pittbaby:

well I guess you have your opinion of all Americans that can't be changed . unfortunately they also have their  view of us  that I hope we can change.
lol  cry

And I understand consumerism !!!! and never disagreed with you about the fact that the US is a consumerist nation afterall why are we paying $4:00 PER GALLON.

BESIDES when did 250K lace become a nenecessity
250k lace is not a necessity so why would i say it is?  isn't it people the likes of babangida's wife who buys such things? go figure out why.

mY POINT NIGERIANS AND AMERICANS ALIKE ARE EQUALLY CONSUMERIST. ITS JUST EASIER IN THE US .

grin grin grin
not equally consumerist because the state of the economy doesn't allow it.
equally but easier? america is probably the most consumerist nation in the world by far. the ease of making the money allows them the freedom to spend it like careless drunks.  i think you forgot the part where i mentioned about your average nigerian spending for survival instead of spending to get the latest iphone.
Re: Wat Do Y'all Think About Da Idea Of Marrying A Guy 4rm Nigeria & Bring Him 2 Us? by Pittbaby(f): 8:43pm On Jul 25, 2008
@HCH

I get your point,  and I am not talking about struggling naija's ,  I am talking about the ones with money (even small) that buy expensive things haba people who make less money than me they buy 250 K (naira) lace, thats not even consisdered expensive in some circles. besides naija people dey buy Iphone o!!! even when there is no internet to support the thing

And check your facts before you says americans are the most consumerist . They have the highest per capita income for a country off its size, and thus influence the world economy more  . but they are not the biggest spenders in the world , Go to Switzerland and start counting the number of Porsches and Maseratis you see once you leave the airport.


I get it you like to argue ,  oya fire on
Re: Wat Do Y'all Think About Da Idea Of Marrying A Guy 4rm Nigeria & Bring Him 2 Us? by Orimili(m): 8:48pm On Jul 25, 2008
HCH3COO:

blah blah blah.  no one is saying growing up in nigeria means you should have a holier-than-thou attitude, or that you are a better person.  there is a gigantic difference between the two breeds that can be noticed from a mile away.  we don't really conduct too much research on these stuvvs but if you were to carry out a survey, i'm sure you will find it to be true.  america has basically no culture, and american kids have way too much freedom to behave like hooligans.  i am speaking from what i have noticed.  you don't have to agree.

"blah blah blah?" That's no way to reply to a statement that basically negated everything view you have tried to push to others. Anyway, If you take the time to read through the messages on this forum, you will see the truth about the attitudes. Your "holier-than-thou" attitude is more apparent than ever. Yes, there are differences between cultures, but you are very wrong to say that Americans do not have a culture of their own. You, my friend, have seen one too many movies. If you have been here long enough, you would notice.

Yes, there are some American kids that behave like hooligans, but can you seriously claim that the same types of kids do not exist in Naija? I think not. You may notice more cases here, due to the fact that the US has ~300 Million People, versus the ~150 Million population of Nigeria. If you take a ratio of well raised people to the bad ones from both places, they will most likely be the same. You are wallowing in ignorance if you can say what you said with a straight face. There are bad fruits in every tree. I speak from what I have noticed. (Edit: forgot a couple of words)


ignorance will always know no borders.  ignorance is also turning a blind eye to unfathomable racism because it is protected by law.  but here sits ye, talking about ignorance.

Speak for yourself, you are the true face of ignorance and racism.
Re: Wat Do Y'all Think About Da Idea Of Marrying A Guy 4rm Nigeria & Bring Him 2 Us? by Pittbaby(f): 8:51pm On Jul 25, 2008
@ Orimili

so sensible people still exist
Re: Wat Do Y'all Think About Da Idea Of Marrying A Guy 4rm Nigeria & Bring Him 2 Us? by superstan(m): 8:52pm On Jul 25, 2008
fionaa:

whose whining? u think i sound desperate right? i don't blame u,

it's just something i'm thinking about for now. it's not like i'm gon get married by 2morrow morning. i'm still in school. i have pre-law school after college. i'll have 2 start my career and other thing in-between. it's just the wrongest (if that is even a real word) guys u can ever imagin,  that come my way. my firned said i need cleansing. Bull S**T,

i get asked out at least 4-5x a week, but it's always the wrong guys. there's a 28yrs old haiti guy @ my mum's job (who by the is married) who talks and talks about leaving his wife for me. he's so obsessed with me (pysco!). my next door neighbor sent flowers and a movie ticket 2 my work place 4 dayz after his wife moved out.

u see what i mean. i beleive that there is "ALMOST" no hope in this market.

priceless!!!

nigerian men have become groundnuts that people want to import to the usa.

what a calamity. cry cry
Re: Wat Do Y'all Think About Da Idea Of Marrying A Guy 4rm Nigeria & Bring Him 2 Us? by HCH3COO: 9:10pm On Jul 25, 2008
Pittbaby:

@HCH

I get your point, and I am not talking about struggling naija's , I am talking about the ones with money (even small) that buy expensive things haba people who make less money than me they buy 250 K (naira) lace, thats not even consisdered expensive in some circles. besides naija people dey buy Iphone o even when there is no internet to support the thing
if you are not talking about the struggling naija, then there is probably nothing to talk about.  for the typical naija family (in naija) it's a struggle every day.    isn't that what we're comparing here with consuming?  that's what this comparison is supposed to be about.  i am not talking about those yahoo yahoo boys 419-ing their way to obtaining those iphones or what have you. no denying that the naija boy will buy an iphone if he has the money to do so, but that's not as likely to occurs as it is with americana.  if you have the money in excess you will spend it, hence the reason for your consumerist propaganda.  the naija boy no get the money to dey spend any how when the resources no dey there.

And check your facts before you says americans are the most consumerist . They have the highest per capita income for a country that size, and thus influence the world economy more . but they are not the biggest spenders in the world , Go to Switzerland and start counting the number of porsches and maserati's you see once you leave the airport.

i checked my facts.  got it from a book i read a while ago and i don't think much has changed since then. the statement i made is that americans consume way more than they need to.  before you talk about size, don't forget to compre america and china. 45% of meat and fish is consumed by Americans, overall energy 58%, of all telephone lines 74 % belongs to americans, consume 84% of all paper and own 87% of the world’s vehicle fleet.   these figures according to george ritzer's research but i am not asking you to take his stats as fact.
Re: Wat Do Y'all Think About Da Idea Of Marrying A Guy 4rm Nigeria & Bring Him 2 Us? by HCH3COO: 9:20pm On Jul 25, 2008
Orimili:

"blah blah blah?" That's no way to reply to a statement that basically negated everything view you have tried to push to others. Anyway, If you take the time to read through the messages on this forum, you will see the truth about the attitudes. Your "holier-than-thou" attitude is more apparent than ever. Yes, there are differences between cultures, but you are very wrong to say that Americans do not have a culture of their own. You, my friend, have seen one too many movies. If you have been here long enough, you would notice.
I don't shelter an holier-than-thou attitude. you are simply confused on the difference between preference versus attitude. americans have a mish-mash culture, does that count? the hiphop culture that encourages abusive language and foul treatment of women? what culture? freedom of speech? there is no such thing as american culture, if there is kindly explain it to me. america is too mixed to have a recognised culture of its own. it is the immigrants living in america who bring their culture here to practice. that's not american culture, it is still the culture of those immigrants.

Yes, there are some American kids that behave like hooligans, but can you seriously claim that the same types of kids do not exist in Naija? I think not.
who's saying they don't exist.  i said they're granted the full freedom to do so easily and are protected from parental discipline; however, if you look at a nigerian child who dare tries that with his parents, the police themselves will slap you if you don't punish them.
You may notice more cases here, due to the fact that the US has ~300 Million People, versus the ~150 Million population of Nigeria.
i have already explained that population is not the reason for the discrepancy. 
If you take a ratio of well raised people to the bad ones from both places, they will most likely be the same.
'well raised people' is a subjective term that changes relative to the person you are communicating with.  needless to say, i am not here to argue that the kids are not well raised, but i still retain the opinion that from what i have noticed here these kids treat like elders like peers.   but according to you, they hold no blame because it is glorified by a culture of freedom.
You are wallowing in ignorance if you can say what you said with a straight face. There are fruits in every tree. I speak from what I have noticed.
i said it without blinking, is that the same thing?  Ignorance doesn't prevent me from comparing one culture with another and offering my opinions on what i see as the differences.  I don't accept bad behaviorism just because i'm living in America.  That's you.

Speak for yourself, you are the true face of ignorance and racism.
the true face of ignorance is blind support for hateful, and completely sexist remarks because it is american law.  again, that is you, not me.
Re: Wat Do Y'all Think About Da Idea Of Marrying A Guy 4rm Nigeria & Bring Him 2 Us? by Orimili(m): 10:15pm On Jul 25, 2008
HCH3COO:

I don't shelter an holier-than-thou attitude.  you are simply confused on the difference between preference versus attitude.  americans have a mish-mash culture, does that count?  the hiphop culture that encourages abusive language and foul treatment of women?  what culture?  freedom of speech?  there is no such thing as american culture, if there is  kindly explain it to me.  america is too mixed to have a recognised culture of its own. it is the immigrants living in america who bring their culture here to practice.  that's not american culture, it is still the culture of those immigrants.

Google, or any academic database, is your friend. Hell, Wikipedia, as inaccurate as it is, can give you a crash course, if you follow the right references, into the many things that make up the culture and society of the United States. If you cared to open a few books or make a few searches, you would notice that American culture (or as I should say, the collection of American cultures), whether you may like it or not, is a valid one, just as Igbo culture is a valid one. Sure, it may have derived from other cultures, but who's culture hasn't? American culture has grown to be distinct from every other culture in the developed world. That is a fact.

As for hip-hop culture. I shake my head at how you just proved your own ignorance. Are you really going to make a generalization about a group of people, based on what you see on TV and radio? By that regard, one can assume that Nigerians, as well as the rest of Africa, is nothing but a group of savages who live in huts with bones in their noses, speaking a clicking language, but we both know that's not true, right?


who's saying they don't exist.  i said they're granted the full freedom to do so easily and are protected from parental discipline; however, if you look at a nigerian child who dare tries that with his parents, the police themselves will slap you if you don't punish them.

This must be a different America, because I distinctively remember being beaten by my parents in public for doing something wrong, as well as my friends. The police know not to get involved in family matters unless someone's health or safety is at risk. The police have more important things to do, such as stopping crime, something I've rarely seen in Naija. There is a clear difference between discipline and child abuse. Child abuse laws protect against the latter, not the former. I guess you have never seen some Nigerians run away fro their homes due to dislike of being punished.



i have already explained that population is not the reason for the discrepancy. 

If you did, you failed very hard at it.


'well raised people' is a subjective term that changes relative to the person you are communicating with.  needless to say, i am not here to argue that the kids are not well raised, but i still retain the opinion that from what i have noticed here these kids treat like elders like peers.   but according to you, they hold no blame because it is glorified by a culture of freedom.

And like I said before, everyone is entitled to an opinion, especially yourself. Yes, I noticed the same behavior, just as I have noticed similar behavior in Naija. Mind you, in the US, your parents are responsible for you until the age of 18, therefore, they are free to discipline you in any matter they choose, unlike in some parts of Naija. If the child doesn't like it, he or she has a choice to live in the streets, or as a ward of the court, which, for a sensible person, means that they have no option but to listen to their elders.  What you are describing is an extreme theme that I usually see portrayed in the media, which you are still making generalizations upon.


i said it without blinking, is that the same thing?  Ignorance doesn't prevent me from comparing one culture with another and offering my opinions on what i see as the differences.  [B]I don't accept bad behaviorism just because i'm living in America.[/B]  That's you.

Neither do I. I do, however, accept the rights that the US constitution gives me because this is what America was built on. There is a thing that America was built on called personal responsibility. If a child decides to be a bad fruit, it's the child's fault. If the parent chooses to let the child become a bad fruit, it's the parent's fault. America was built on the ability of one to live their lives, not having its every aspect ruled by a governing body. You don't like it, I get that. What can you do about it? Don't raise your children here. You have that choice, as my parents had theirs, and were able to raise five successful children (Two doctors to be, one businessman, and two professional athletes). It comes down to you, whether you can really handle bringing someone up in a free country, and not using culture as a crutch to hide your parenting skills, or lack thereof.


the true face of ignorance is blind support for hateful, and completely sexist remarks because it is american law.  again, that is you, not me.

If it brings peace to your heart to think that way, who am I to change it?
Re: Wat Do Y'all Think About Da Idea Of Marrying A Guy 4rm Nigeria & Bring Him 2 Us? by HCH3COO: 11:05pm On Jul 25, 2008
Orimili:

Google, or any academic database, is your friend. Hell, Wikipedia, as inaccurate as it is, can give you a crash course, if you follow the right references, into the many things that make up the culture and society of the United States.
why can't you give me the summary in your own simple words.  you suggested that america has a culture and i am asking you to explain the culture to me.  90% of the people i have talked to agree that there is none.
If you cared to open a few books or make a few searches, you would notice that American culture (or as I should say, the collection of American cultures), whether you may like it or not, is a valid one, just as Igbo culture is a valid one. Sure, it may have derived from other cultures, but who's culture hasn't? American culture has grown to be distinct from every other culture in the developed world. That is a fact.
Paraphrase: you agree that it is not "American culture", it is just a derivative of other cultures.   That's like collecting excerpts of other people's works, making them into a bigger book, and calling their work yours.  it's not yours, it's their work you are borrowing.

As for hip-hop culture. I shake my head at how you just proved your own ignorance. Are you really going to make a generalization about a group of people, based on what you see on TV and radio? By that regard, one can assume that Nigerians, as well as the rest of Africa, is nothing but a group of savages who live in huts with bones in their noses, speaking a clicking language, but we both know that's not true, right?
you keep shouting ignorance left, right, front to back, what is ignorant about telling truths?  keep shaking your head but make sure it doesn't fall off.  it will require surgery and lots of money to put it back together.    the people practicing the culture of hiphop are influenced by the commanders of hiphop.  the commanders of hiphop are the little waynes calling women bitches and hos, sagging their pants and all sorts of other nonsense . . .
you think hiphop culture is good and i don't like it, it's my freedom to choose.
This must be a different America, because I distinctively remember being beaten by my parents in public for doing something wrong, as well as my friends. The police know not to get involved in family matters unless someone's health or safety is at risk.   The police have more important things to do, such as stopping crime, something I've rarely seen in Naija. There is a clear difference between discipline and child abuse. Child abuse laws protect against the latter, not the former.
LOL! Lies upon lies upon lies.  This is the same America where parents get thrown in Jail for spanking their children.  Just confess that you don't know what goes on in America and I will explain what you would like to know.
Just because you don't see it doesn't mean it doesn't happen.  It happens grand scale.  Did you miss this: http://www.volunteertv.com/home/headlines/15157311.html
or this: "This is an emergency notification regarding yet another arrest and incarceration of Kay Henson by her probation officer in the Walworth County jail. Kay is on probation because she spanked her ten year old son with her hand and was charged with felony child abuse."

Sally Lieber, a california assemply woman, introduced a legislation last year that would land you in jail for a year if you smack, or spank your child.    But of course you don't see this in the America that you live in. LMAO.

I guess you have never seen some Nigerians run away fro their homes due to dislike of being punished.
I have.  But they tend to stay.  Our culture okays punishment as a form of discipline.

have noticed similar behavior in Naija. Mind you, in the US, your parents are responsible for you until the age of 18, therefore, they are free to discipline you in any matter they choose, unlike in some parts of Naija.
your parents are free to discipline you in any matter they choose . . . . duhhhh you have basically said nothing. this applies everywhere.  it's the manner of discipline that is in question.

If the child doesn't like it, he or she has a choice to live in the streets, or as a ward of the court, which, for a sensible person, means that they have no option but to listen to their elders.  What you are describing is an extreme theme that I usually see portrayed in the media, which you are still making generalizations upon.
you are lying again.  i won't discourage you from staying glued to your tv, but i do enrourage you to go outside to experience the real world.  when you do that don't be shocked to find kids littering grocery stores, yelling at their parents, knowing that their parents can't beat on them for misbehaving.
If a child decides to be a bad fruit, it's the child's fault.  If the parent chooses to let the child become a bad fruit, it's the parent's fault.
keyword: chooses.   No one is choosing to become a bad fruit here.
It is my duty as a parent to prevent my child from being a bad fruit.  you are free to let your kids become bad fruits if you want - that's your palava.
America was built on the ability of one to live their lives, not having its every aspect ruled by a governing body.
yeah while nigeria was built on the ability of people to destroy their lives, huh?  another empty statement.  whether or not you agree, the governing body has a say in many things you do. America or not.

You don't like it, I get that. What can you do about it? Don't raise your children here. You have that choice, as my parents had theirs, and were able to raise five successful children (Two doctors to be, one businessman, and two professional athletes). It comes down to you, whether you can really handle bringing someone up in a free country, and not using culture as a crutch to hide your parenting skills, or lack thereof.
like you said it's my choice.  it's not something done out of fear of not being able to properly raise my children, and i don't think becoming a professional athlete, or whatever businessman automatically makes you a good person, but that's again my opinion.  you could be a mass murderer for all i know.

If it brings peace to your heart to think that way, who am I to change it?
It brings peace to my heart  cheesy .
Re: Wat Do Y'all Think About Da Idea Of Marrying A Guy 4rm Nigeria & Bring Him 2 Us? by Nobody: 11:35pm On Jul 25, 2008
you must choose wisely.As the wrong guy will dump you as soon as he finds his footing. The right guy will Love you more for the opportunity you have given him.
Re: Wat Do Y'all Think About Da Idea Of Marrying A Guy 4rm Nigeria & Bring Him 2 Us? by Sisikill: 11:40pm On Jul 25, 2008
Loooooong Sigh

I gotta invest in some trouble repellant coz he can't seem to go anywhere without trouble following. I mean he's made some excellent points but his approach. . . lawd-a-mercy, his approach needs serious work.
Re: Wat Do Y'all Think About Da Idea Of Marrying A Guy 4rm Nigeria & Bring Him 2 Us? by HCH3COO: 11:50pm On Jul 25, 2008
blood of jesus  lipsrsealed

sisi i have missed you now  embarassed

pit, orimi, etcetera
It's a bad generalization to start off with (i mentioned that i did it on pu rpose)  . . I apologize for it i don't usually generalize and we move on.   
but I retain some of my opinions
Re: Wat Do Y'all Think About Da Idea Of Marrying A Guy 4rm Nigeria & Bring Him 2 Us? by na2day2(m): 3:06am On Aug 28, 2008
@ post

sista, why u dey look for naija? u no dey hear say wetin dey for sokoto fit dey your shokoto? i dey for usa with u oooo, i bi proper naija boi, no even fit speak like akarta, my naija accent still dey intact, i no wan loose am. send me email jare decyberworld@yahoo.com me sef dey find wife grin grin grin
Re: Wat Do Y'all Think About Da Idea Of Marrying A Guy 4rm Nigeria & Bring Him 2 Us? by bokodike(f): 1:37am On Aug 29, 2008
Can someone show me where its written about specific USA culture or even language.

In regards to the post of bringing naija man here for marriege, change they say is a constant thing in life except for God who doesn't for With God all thing are possible, and I'm writing from experience. If that is your choice take it to God in prayer.

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