Please, patiently read all:::
Relationship Mistakes that cause problem
(Hell) in MARRIAGE.
BY J.T. OMOLE
This is not my first article on relationship
issues but I chose to customize my
articles from now.
I want to share with you some things that
I’ve learnt, seen, and decoded from
relationships and marriages in recent
years.
For the rest of this year; I will be
releasing two articles daily. The first
article in the morning, while the other in
the evening.
QOUTE OF THIS ARTICLE: …because if
you cajole him to marry you, you cannot
cajole him to live with you happily in
marriage and If he cannot not stay to
cover you and your past in a relationship
he cannot stay to cover you, your secrets
and challenges in marriage.
Have you ever imagined why most
marriages are experiencing fire like hell is
been described and yet no one knows the
reason for that in such marriages?
Anyway, some marital problems are
visible to outsiders while most people
kept their problems within. But when you
move closer to them you will feel the
heat around them and yet they smile
when you meet with them outside.
I was getting involved in an issue of a
married couple about two months ago.
Believe me honestly, this couple got
married about two years ago and nothing
good has been said about the husband by
the households, neighbors and friends
because of the way he suddenly began to
treat his wife about two months after the
wedding.
This same man was a very spiritual
brother way back in school and was very
strong and convinced when he met this
fire brand lady. They were both spiritual
and religious. And now I was told the
man no longer allows his wife to attend
any church activities and doesn’t want to
see him with friends. To the extent that
they no longer visit their spiritual father
and pastor (Well, this is too far! As you’ve
just thought). When I got involved in this
matter, I discovered that people shifted
all blames on the man. And I said “FOR
WHAT?” (not supporting the man in
anyway either @ this point ) You don’t
just shift blames of marital problems on
any of the parties if you were yet to hear
the real cause of the problem from both
parties. And of which in this case, no one
knows the reason for their problem.
In my quiet mood I asked; Was she a
virgin before they got married? That
question sounded strange and serious to
those that were with me. And I asked; IF
NO! Did she inform her husband before
marriage? Or did she tell her husband the
truth when he asked her way back in their
relationship before marriage?
This question could be funny to you also,
but most homes that tend to look
interesting in their relationship stage and
later turned to something else in
marriage is as a result of hidden past or
not properly said and discussed before
marriage which by all means affect men
more than women.
And I also asked: were there any past and
experience you had either before or after
you met him and you denied telling him
the truth until in marriage or he heard
from outsiders?
Believe me honestly, the atmosphere
became quiet and moody. There is no
how you can experience Heaven on earth
in marriage without letting your partner
know your past and experience before
marriage. In fact, it is better to tell him
immediately he asked you, because you
not responding immediately would create
another notion.
Telling him/her when asked shows that
you are loyal to the relationship and you
can be trusted. All men tend to ask their
partners about their past and experience
in the relationship. This is not because he
wants to open your healed wound but
just to avoid being encapsulated by
psychological trauma when it is been
heard in marriage by you or from an
outsider. So let him know who you will
be in marriage as regards your past and
experience.
In my little experience in this aspect of
marital life with people, I discovered that
the basic cause of marital problem in
marriage is because of some things that
were hidden from one another before
marriage and got revealed in marriage. I
tell people that; no matter how worse
your past and experience could be, make
sure you tell your partner before
marriage. The results of issues like these
are not directly controllable in marriage,
most especially, from men to women.
Because men get easily captured and
encapsulated with psychological trauma if
heard that of his wife, either from his
wife or outsider in marriage. These are
issues that cannot be told to any family
member let alone neighbors. Ladies don’t
see fault in not telling their partners the
truth about their past and experience
before marriage because they consider
these following reasons
(1) He would not trust me any longer
(2) it means, I will expose myself and
open my shame to the man I am yet to
be married to
(3) if I told him, he could say he is no
longer interested in me
(4) I don’t want to lose him because of
my past and experience
(5) But we are now a new creature, old
things have passed away. He doesn’t
need to know because God has forgiven
me. It’s between me and God. And after
all, he received me and I received him
also.
If you are still using any of these manners
to hide those things you needed to share,
please back out now, because if you
cajole him to marry you, you cannot
cajole him to live with you happily in
marriage and If he cannot not stay to
cover you and your past in a relationship
he cannot stay to cover your secrets and
challenges in marriage. Tell him now, now
that he is committed and know if he
would stay or not. A REAL man forgives.
It takes two to TANGO. Thanks for
reading. Until evening that I will release
another example of relationship mistakes
that causes problem (hell) in marriages,
remain blessed.