AKPOS:- Sweetheart, i’m GEJ

EKAITTE:- U’r kidding, Our president is GEJ (Goodluck Ebele Jonathan)

AKPORS:- I mean, i’m GEJ- GOING ON EMERGENCY JOURNEY!

EKAITTE (Smiles):- Oh! U’re not serious! What kind of journey are u going on?

AKPORS:- OBJ

EKAITTE:- To meet Obsanjo?

AKPORS:- No, it means ON A BUSSINESS JOURNEY.

EKAITTE:- Oh!

AKPORS:- Yes… IBB

EKAITTE:- Babangida?

AKPORS:- I’LL BE BACK

EKAITTE:- *smiles*

AKPORS:- Till then ACN.

EKAITTE:- U want to join Politics?

AKPORS:- I’LL ALWAYS CALL UR NUMBER.

EKAITTE:- Hmmm…

AKPORS:- While i’m away, PDP with love.

EKAITTE:- Whats?

AKPORS:- PLEASE DON’T PLAY WITH OUR LOVE.

EKAITTE:- U know i won’t BRF.

AKPORS:- What has lagos state governor, got to dowith all this!?

EKAITTE (smiles):- I’LL BE RIGHTOUS & FAITHFUL!

AKPORS:- I trust U

EKAITTE:- FOOL!

AKPORS (Screamed):- Whaaat!?

EKAITTE:- FOR OUR OVERWHELMING LOVE!

Who Killed It Akpos Or Ekaitte??

If TECNO fit ping first before NOkIA --- who
told u dt all ur mates weh first u start fit
make am before u finish ?

If CIVIL DEFENCE fit carry gun first before
ROAD SAFETY----who told u dt its by how far ,
na by how well !!....

If GARRI fit sell pass INDOMIE after all d
adverts----- who told u dt u must dress nude
or indecently dis Xmas to jst get married ?

If OgA JONATHAN weh no get even common
shoe before , but now he wears 3 different
shoes per hour --- who told u dt u will
continue being poor ?...over hope dey jareee

If INSPECTOR GENERaL of POLICE fit comot
police for high way and check points thereby
stopping dia N20 rogger -----who told u dt
Naija no go better again ?........no
be me talk am oo

If 2face fit finally repent and marry Anie - ---
who told u dt ur current boifriend no go
marry u ...stick †̥♥ him and dnt be distracted
wit all d yahoo boiz
weh go enter villa dis Xmas

If ma street fit get light every (4-5am) -----
who tell u say hope no dey for constant light
in naija by 2025 ?....ok naa

If Judas fit sell his boss Jesus ------ who told u
dt ur bestfriend or lover no fit do worse than
this?.....be careful!

If them fit tie cow with rope upon all em size
but must use chain to hold dog follow body,

who be that wey dey tell you say you worth
nothing?

As this year runs to an end,i pray that God will elevate us speedily beyond our expectations and he will also establish us in the midst of his kindness and favor...How many AMEN do i get here

Wait a minute,what kind of nonsense is this, This has got to
stop!
When CL0SE-UP does an advert,
they will show you someone's
teeth and how to brush properly.
When GILETTE Does an advert,
they will show you someone's
beards, armpit and they will show you how well the shaving
stick works.
When DETTOL does an advert,
they will show you someone taking his or her bath in the
bathroom with the soap...........
......But what the hell is wrong with
ALWAYS ULTRA Sanitary PAD?
When they are doing their advert, they will never show us
anything!
All we see is a girl rolling on her bed or secondary school
girls singing on the field... How does that show us what the pad is used
for?
LoL Happy new Year in Advance.

WIKIPEDIA- I know everything....

GOOGLE- I have everything....

FACEBOOK- I know everyone....

INTERNET- Without me, you are nothing....

ELECTRICITY- Keep talking bitches!!!!!

BEFORE MARRIAGE

BOY: I have been waiting for this day
GIRL: Do you want me to leave?
BOY: No
GIRL: Do you love me?
BOY: Of course
GIRL: Will you ever cheat on me?
BOY: Never in my life
GIRL: Will you ever kiss me?
BOY: Every chance I get
GIRL: Will you hit me?
BOY: Are you crazy?
GIRL: Can I trust you?
BOY: Yes
GIRL: SweetHeart...

AFTER MARRIAGE

[Read from bottom to top...]

Fact.......lol

get d chains. we have anoda: one here.

Akpos sat down in the bar next to
Ochuko. Both of them were having a
good time
when the news came on TV.
The woman reporter shouts out ‘This is
just in! A
man Is at the edge of a cliff attempting
to jump’
The Ochuko leans over to the Akpos and
whispers,
‘I bet you $50 that this man will jump.’
Akpos
responded ‘You’re on.’
So, both of them stare at the news
waiting to find
out what happens next. Finally, the man
jumps.
Akpos turns to the Ochuko and hands
him the $50.
Ochuko, feeling guilty, says ‘I can’t take
this
money. I saw the news earlier this
morning.
I knew he was going to jump off the
cliff.’ Akpos
replied, ‘Well, I saw it too. But I never
knew he
would do it again.

lol 1 word for Akpors