I would try to keep this short and straight and i would use names for easier understanding.I have 2 close friends BAYO and TiTi,they have been dating for like 2yrs plus.i have be friends with Titi for 6yrs and also met bayo in 2010,we all have been really close friends since then,Honestly i think am more closer to Titi than Bayo.This morning Bayo informed me that his introduction would be holding Next 2weeks i was like 'yeah' congrats to you and Titi but to my greatest suprise,he said its not Titi but a girl name funke whom he met during Nysc service,Honestly i have met the girl like several times but i only tot it was a quickie runz cos he always said they were just friends with benefits,what shocked me the most was when he Begged me not to tell Titi any of this,that she wasnt aware of this introduction,i asked if he was still dating Titi but all i got back was murmuring but no definate Answer.Pls my question Should i tell or hint Titi or keep my mouth shut and get screwed by my guilty conscience?

Put yourself in Titi's shoes. She wil be heartbroken but it's for the best. I think you should tell her and Titi herself should deal with the pain without giving Bayo any hint that she knows about the plan. She has to be strong.

guy, it beta she finds out herself Dan u telling her, let dm end wat dy started any ao dy like it....so d blame wount b on u if he didn't finally do d introduction cos any tin can hapin.
but sha o make we talk tru, u self like d titi gal......lolz

nutigal: Put yourself in Titi's shoes. She wil be heartbroken but it's for the best. I think you should tell her and Titi herself should deal with the pain without giving Bayo any hint that she knows about the plan. She has to be strong.

thanks for the advice,i havent had rest of mind Since morning cos have been thinking of Ways to tell Titi or to even remain quiet,my main concern is Bayo wants me to go for the introduction with Him.I cant imagine how Judgement/Rapture Day would be cos i have been judging myself with the ''Why's'' like Why didnt i tell titi when bayo told me he met a corper,Why didnt i tell titi when i first say Funke and bayo Together,Why didnt i tell Titi when i knew Funke was having sleepovers at Bayo house.Lots of Why but due to personal experience i try avoid involving myself in other People relationships

Its not your place to tell her, just pretend as if you thought she knew.

Abbey2sam: Its not your place to tell her, just pretend as if you thought she knew.

brother thanks for the advice how can i pretend to someone i see 2 to 3 times a week,she coming over to my place on wednesday and also is it possible to pretend to a friend of 6yrs.Honestly we dont have any Sexual or any form of relationship between is purely Friendship

put yourself in titi shoes how would you feel if both of your friends you trusted betrayed you.

Then make a decision

its beta u tell her, to save her from emotional trauma in d future, she will even hate you more if she later knw u knew but refused to tell her, but u have to be wise in telling her cos some gals wl just go an tell dia bf wat they heard and from who, first start by testing her, tell her wat hapnd lyk its some one else's story, ask her wat wl she advice d psn, gauge d answer she wl give, dat wl guide u in wat to do

"It's better if you tell her......."
"It's better if you let her find out for herself....."
It's hard either way n she would feel betrayed no matter what. I think u should not follow ur friend for d introduction to make sure u r neutral in d whole matter.

zazi akoni: its beta u tell her, to save her from emotional trauma in d future, she will even hate you more if she later knw u knew but refused to tell her, but u have to be wise in telling her cos some gals wl just go an tell dia bf wat they heard and from who, first start by testing her, tell her wat hapnd lyk its some one else's story, ask her wat wl she advice d psn, gauge d answer she wl give, dat wl guide u in wat to do

wow thanks alot,thats a great advice,i would keep that in mind,i would wait for more advice cos shes really brilliant,she grabs things easily

Renylee: "It's better if you tell her......."
"It's better if you let her find out for herself....."
It's hard either way n she would feel betrayed no matter what. I think u should not follow ur friend for d introduction to make sure u r neutral in d whole matter.

darling it seems u truely understand my dilemma but is there a way i can avoid losing any of them as friends cos if i tell her and ignore the introduction,Bayo would be pissed at me and that may be end for us and Also if i dont Tell Titi and she finds out i know abt the introduction,am sure i will definately lose her trust and friendship.Its like am in a Lose-Lose Dilemma

Titi is ur very good friend n u met d guy through her (correct me if m wrong). I think u've known her longer than d guy n u should value her friendship more so, leave d guy n save ur relationship with Titi.

what pride do u find in being frends with someone who doesnt care abt betraying a gal? u are just making tins hard for urself. u shudnt have supported Bayo to see Funke frm d beginning,redeem urself. u are as guilty as Bayo.

nutigal: Put yourself in Titi's shoes. She wil be heartbroken but it's for the best. I think you should tell her and Titi herself should deal with the pain without giving Bayo any hint that she knows about the plan. She has to be strong.

And if such news were unveiled to you.

Do you think you can take it good fate without displaying your madness.

Mr. Man keep it a top secret for now and let peace reign.

By your statement, since your are very close to Titi. You should indirectly discourage Titi to let her dislike Bayo.

Oga OP, i am not saying you should go ahead to develop another trik to hurt Titi.

But, give her a chance to find another date.

With this.
before she find out, the memory of Bayo must have fade out in her brain.

SHALOM

Renylee: Titi is ur very good friend n u met d guy through her (correct me if m wrong). I think u've known her longer than d guy n u should value her friendship more so, leave d guy n save ur relationship with Titi.

i didnt meet Bayo thru her,i met bayo thru my bestfriend not Titi and also they kinda meet at my bday party in 2011 so i didnt officially introduce them

Udeme288: what pride do u find in being frends with someone who doesnt care abt betraying a gal? u are just making tins hard for urself. u shudnt have supported Bayo to see Funke frm d beginning,redeem urself. u are as guilty as Bayo.

guy no blame me ooo,i dont have any right to challenge any of my male-friends for having female-friends,how would u feel if a friend challenge u on that kinda thing,i didnt go to NYSC with him so its hard to keep track of him

keep your mouth shut. It's not your issue nor is it your burden. Let him man up when he is ready. When Titi finds out make sure you don't say or hint that you knew anything.
or
wait until 2 weeks before the introduction and say Titi did you buy your Aso ebi? she would be like what are you talking about and then you would tell her about it and deny that you had no idea of her dating status with the A-hole
or
be a good friend and tell her
or
convince your friend to not treat her like that and make him tell her

it's up to you bro

I'll rather you tell me if I am Titi. Hurts are better dealt with when it doesn't come as so much shock as it would be if you friend broke the news of his pending engagement.

Meet up with her and tell her Bayo has been seeing someone behind her back for a while which you knew but probably thought it wasn't serious (which is the truth) and that he's planning on marrying said girl. She'll feel hurt (possibly even with you), call off the relationship herself (which will her help her heal faster) and if she's a smart girl will know it took guts for you to tell her the truth and continue being friends with you.

About going to the intro, it's your call really. I'd rather you go as there is really no need crying over spilled milk. He's in love with someone else and that isn't really a crime.

Miner13:

And if such news were unveiled to you.

Do you think you can take it good fate without displaying your madness.

U have no idea how strong women are even in their weakness.

Amya: I'll rather you tell me if I am Titi. Hurts are better dealt with when it doesn't come as so much shock as it would be if you friend broke the news of his pending engagement.
Meet up with her and tell her Bayo has been seeing someone behind her back for a while which you knew but probably thought it wasn't serious (which is the truth) and that he's planning on marrying said girl. She'll feel hurt (possibly even with you), call off the relationship herself (which will her help her heal faster) and if she's a smart girl will know it took guts for you to tell her the truth and continue being friends with you.
About going to the intro, it's your call really. I'd rather you go as there is really no need crying over spilled milk. He's in love with someone else and that isn't really a crime.

Thank you so much,ur advice is highly appreciated,coming from a lady makes it alot better

Pls Fiji,I advise you to tell Titi. As a lady,I'll really hate and detest a friend who keeps such from me. I'll feel doubly betrayed.
That Bayo of a fellow is a snake. Don't be concerned about losing his friendship. He's totally not worth it. If he hasn't told Titi he wants to marry someone else,that means he intends to keep on dating her. And she will feel so free with him as per her boyfriend. Maybe even sleeping with him. She'll probably find out about the wedding a few weeks to the date.

I think I'm a calm Woman but if someone does that to me, jezebel will be an angel when compared to what I'll do to him.the total humiliation and betrayal will even be worse when my own friend decides to help cover up such a wickedness.

No one says a man must marry his girlfriend. If u can't marry her,let her go! Tell her and let her go. Don't toy with her feelings and treat her like dirt. What's his reason for not telling her the truth? What's his intention? Why is he asking you to do something he knows you're not comfortable with? IMO he's a selfish nimcompoop and doesn't give a fig about your feelings nor Titi's. To me, I think losing his friendship will be a blessing to you.

Look at it this way
This type of friend can plan with other persons/people to sidetrack you and maybe siphon money that both of you worked for with you in the dark about it. And come the next day shake hands with you, smile with you and dine with you while winking to his partner in crime behind your back. Because they both know they've 'sold' you out. I've seen it happen.

Agree with some of Loretta's surmise....

Madam Loretta, wetin u dey do for NL....
No be honeymoon u dey, pls go answer Oga jhor!!


.

Firstly @lorretta u congrat on ur wedding,may God be with u and ur hubby,I wish u a Blissful Marriage.Secondly that a Wonderful Advice,thanks alot but ur words are kinda funny with that jezebel phrase it got me cranking.i would try to work on some of ur advice,i was avoiding be called a snitch,but i think its better i tell her tomorrow,Pls what if this lead to the introduction be affected or called off? That may be a stigma on me forever.Good

How will it lead to the introduction being called off? Unless he doesn't know what he wants sha.anyway I understand you not wanting to be called a snitch. But some things are just too big to be toyed with.

Amen to the goodwishes.

fijiano202: Firstly @lorretta u congrat on ur wedding,may God be with u and ur hubby,I wish u a Blissful Marriage.Secondly that a Wonderful Advice,thanks alot but ur words are kinda funny with that jezebel phrase it got me cranking.i would try to work on some of ur advice,i was avoiding be called a snitch,but i think its better i tell her tomorrow,Pls what if this lead to the introduction be affected or called off? That may be a stigma on me forever.Good

Ask the bayo dude to tell titi ogiving him 24hrs or u tell
Very simple

Dyt: Ask the bayo dude to tell titi ogiving him 24hrs or u tell
Very simple

Exactly what I had in mind. The same way he is putting you in a tight corner put him too. Tell him if he doesnt make things right within two days, he should count you out , if he doesnt do the needful you go ahead and tell her. Be sure that after this thing the triangle will neva be the same. Choose who you want to stand with , but I advise you stand on the side of truth

I will suggest u write an anonymous letter to Titi, letting her know wats going on. She will be soo mad at u for hiding such a thing. # some men r heartless tho#

Kenfil: I will suggest u write an anonymous letter to Titi, letting her know wats going on. She will be soo mad at u for hiding such a thing. # some men r heartless tho#

kenfil thanks for the advice,a letter sounds nice but i would prefer it coming from me so that i wont look like a bad friend

Am surprised you are asking such a silly questions.If titi was your sister will you allow a guy to hurt her this way.Please bayo does not deserve your friendship.Am surprise you even want to attend the so called bayo wedding with him.That also makes you a betrayal to titi.Please for Christ sake go and tell titi.

Thank you all for all ur advice,Titi is coming over to my place today,she said shes gonna show around 11am,i didnt invite her to come due to the News but she usually visit my place 2-3times a week,am planning to break the news to her as gently as possible.i will update u guys Later abt the outcome,i just dont know what to expect

No update yet cos she said shes at the salon and shes coming to my place around 3