Imani:

Sometimes they work, other times, they don't.

Different strokes for different folks.

Yup!! Imani, where have you been, girl? You stayed away so long. . . .I was beginning to think we should send out a search party!

laudate:

Yup!! Imani, where have you been, girl? You stayed away so long. . . .I was beginning to think we should send out a search party!

aww, thanks laudate.

I was in Nigeria collecting data for my dissertation. I managed to travel to Calabar which is a lovely place apart from the loose lifestyle

I am sure you have been able to keep our "dear friend" in check. where is he by the way?

My namesake is back Funny enough,I went to Nigeria for a month myself and was off NL for that period.Welcome back. Your abscence prompted me to think that my furious protestations to Seun about you usurping my identity had borne fruit.Just kidding

I-man:

My namesake is back Funny enough,I went to Nigeria for a month myself and was off Nairaland for that period.Welcome back. Your abscence prompted me to think that my furious protestations to Seun about you usurping my identity had borne fruit.Just kidding

Oga I-man, you have come again with your trouble making!!!

First you delibrately tried to usurp my identity, then you are stalking me . . . both on and off Nairaland. 

Anyway, good you are back too.    [s]I was beginning to think you went home to get married [/s]

`

Ivvie:

I see nothing wrong in it. Abraham did it for Isaac and it has been done for ages. Parents care for their children and wouldn't make wrong choices (in their understanding) especially in this aspect.

I guess if you and your parents had identical tastes in everything, had the same experiences, same views on every subject, and lived in the same medieval times. . . . .yeah, they could choose a spouse for you. Afterall, children even if they are full-grown adults, are not expected to have a mind of their own, right??

I personally think that arranged marriages are just wrong because it's not even based on true love; half of the time they don't even know a single thing about each and they just don't work.
And also the other thing that I just absolutely hate is when they try to arrange these types of marriages at birth or even before the child is actually born.
Even if the marriage lasts or if they've been together for a while, they're never really happy in the end anyway and if they say that they are then most of the time they're just trying to put a front up or mask their true feelings.
I believe that we as humans should just let things run on it's natural course and let God deal with all of it and stop trying to control our futures because it's really not even up to us.

lindabong:


Even if the marriage lasts or if they've been together for a while, they're never really happy in the end anyway and if they say that they are then most of the time they're just trying to put a front up or mask their true feelings.

How do know this? You think what you read in your media is always correct because you think the media knows what's going on in everyone's mind and life?

Who decides the measure of every individual's happiness?

You should only speak for yourself and not start making assumptions that every other person who says something that does not fit your expectation has to be making such things up.

@Topic,
I would not agree to an arrange marriage but just the other day I went to a hair salon and there was this magazine which states about the difference between arrange marriage and the ones with the free will marriage and they showed a statistic chart stating that there were more divorce couples on the free will marriage compared to those arrange marriage so does it mean that the free will marriage is bad?

Arranged marriage is bang right out of order, simple as that!

Brash!:

Arranged marriage is bang right out of order, simple as that!

who created that order?

dudu-bobo:

who created that order?

I created it and if u defy it, i wld smack u silly!

@dudu-bobo
Ok first of all what the does media have to do with anything, so don't go and start bashing my opinons just because you don't agree with them.
Everyone one is entitled to their own opinion so I was just simply answering the question from my point of view, if you don't like it then simply get over it.
I was just trying to state a few simples example of what happens in a[i] failed[/i] arranged marriage and[i] yes[/i] in some of  instances what I stated are true.
So my whole main point was that arranged marriage to me is wrong and that you shouldn't try to control other people's destiny and future.

@ lindabolong. you have yet to tell us how you arrived at the conclusion below.

Even if the marriage lasts or if they've been together for a while, they're never really happy in the end anyway and if they say that they are then most of the time they're just trying to put a front up or mask their true feelings.

`

@topic
theres nothing wrong with arranged marriages if the guy/girl has a choice of rejecting or choosing the matches the family come up with

@dudu-dumbass
next time you want to spell my name then spell right!
and okay I will explain
most of the women who have said that they were in arranged marriages said that they weren't truely happy within their marriages and that they regretted it, and that's simply why I stated what I had stated.

@Ivvie
how is what I stated a fairytale?
so now you're trying to say that my way of thinking is simply based on movies and hollywood, I don't think so
It's my opinion and I have the right to think what I think and if yall gotta problem with it then get over it and just move on with it.

lindabong:

@dudu-dumbass
next time you want to spell my name then spell right!
and okay I will explain
most of the women who have said that they were in arranged marriages said that they weren't truely happy within their marriages and that they regretted it, and that's simply why I stated what I had stated.
@Ivvie
how is what I stated a fairytale?
so now you're trying to say that my way of thinking is simply based on movies and hollywood, I don't think so
It's my opinion and I have the right to think what I think and if yall gotta problem with it then get over it and just move on with it.

@Lindoblong, you are good with insults, isn't it?
since your brain is oblong, try straightening it out. Are you so daft that you think you have heard from MOST of the women in arranged marriages?
These stupid people just open their gullets and spill rubbish. The only women who come out to say such are the ones whose arranged marriages were wrong in the first place. The world has not heard anything from 99% of the people in arranged marriages; yet it suits idiots to make claims based on the handful of people who come out to speak about their bad experiences.

Daftness magnified

@dudu-dumbass
thanks i'll be taking that as a complement!
you think you all big and bad just cause you tryna talk shit over the freakin keyboard, nigga please.
what you need to do is move around with all that bullshit.
if somebody sees your ass in the streets you aint gon try to talk shit then.
that how much of a punk you is.
you feel that you can justify your low self esteem by trashin other people's opinions.
so i said my piece and its over.
just leave it alone.
we all know that you're for arranged marriages and i'm not and lets just leave at that cause its so freakin stupid that you tryna talk shit to me on the freakin computer just because you dont agree with my statement, so childish.

lindabong:

@dudu-dumbass
thanks i'll be taking that as a complement!
you think you all big and bad just cause you trying to talk shit over the freakin keyboard, nigga please.
what you need to do is move around with all that bullshit.
if somebody sees your ass in the streets you aint gon try to talk shit then.
that how much of a punk you is.
you feel that you can justify your low self esteem by trashin other people's opinions.
so i said my piece and its over.
just leave it alone.
we all know that you're for arranged marriages and i'm not and lets just leave at that cause its so freakin stupid that you trying to talk shit to me on the freakin computer just because you don't agree with my statement, so childish.

@linda oblongbrain

with your kind of language and rant, i now understand why you are unable to reason logically.

`

Yes arranged marriage is RIGHT!

people against arranged marriages, and recommending that the individual choose their partner, implicitly assume that the individual knows what is best for him/her. Unfortunately it is not always the case. The same parents, whom some of you feel shouldn't have a say in the choice of the spouse, will be the first people the aggrieved party will run to when things go south.
Arranged marriages is suited to some, and not suited to others. Stop making sweeping statements like all humans are same and sane.

Poster, are you mad?

What kinda question is this? Who likes living without a personal right?

Arranged marriage . . . there is no right or wrong in this.
Forced marriage is very wrong though.
We all marry for different reasons, some for love, some for security e.t.c so who is to say a couple in an arranged marriage is not satisfied in it.
There is nothing bad in arranged marriage as long as there is consent from both people involved.

vanitty:

Arranged marriage . . . there is no right or wrong in this.
Forced marriage is very wrong though.
We all marry for different reasons, some for love, some for security e.t.c so who is to say a couple in an arranged marriage is not satisfied in it.
There is nothing bad in arranged marriage as long as there is consent from both people involved.

Do you know what arranged marriage means?
It's obvious you don't.
Forced marriage or arranged marriage, they're both on the same playground.
Neither side has the [i]consent [/i]to marry another. . . .
In arranged marriage, both people concerned may have knowledge of what is to happen, but CANNOT say "nay".
Forced marriage may be a result of a consequence (such as pregnancy), therefore the "dude" has no choice but to marry her, could only happen in third-world country or if the guy has any sense of responsibility.

^ Toyin
I think you are confusing the two.
The definition you just gave is for forced.
In a true arranged marriage both couples have to be willing and can always say no.
In the situation when after they say No, the parents insist then it becomes forced. Do you get it now?
You cannot equate “arranged” with “forced”
They are very different from each other.

Maybe I am confusing the two,
But if both are willing, then how is that arranged?
It's same as a regular proposal, only with representatives from each side.

Muslims do arranged marriage most of the time.
Do the kids ever know till it's the last minute?
Do have the personal right to ever say no?

It is arranged because they didn’t meet the regular way couples do. The parent “picked” the spouse however the marriage was performed with the full and free consent of both couples; they may choose to marry one another. They always have the choice to opt out.

If a muslim lady or gentleman cannot say NO, then it is forced. No two ways about it.

vanitty makes a valid point there esp. in trying to explain the difference between arranged/ "forced"