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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Getting Your Needs Met W/o Nagging! (2820 Views)
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Getting Your Needs Met W/o Nagging! by sistawoman: 5:42pm On Aug 13, 2008 |
Quote from: proo212 on Yesterday at 04:29:06 PM So guys, shine your eyes if your woman is complaining about something (not nagging) especially when she says she is not happy. Talking from experience here. So how does a woman do this without nagging? How does a woman really bring it home to her man/husband that there are needs that are not being met in a language that he will understand? |
Re: Getting Your Needs Met W/o Nagging! by onyinye2(f): 5:46pm On Aug 13, 2008 |
Pull him close Look his straight In the eye And say "You see i really need this done, And i would really appreciate it If you did it for me now" That is what i think would work But if he still doesn't do it I would resort back to my Old ways of getting things Done. . . . |
Re: Getting Your Needs Met W/o Nagging! by sistawoman: 6:15pm On Aug 13, 2008 |
OK guys come on in and let us hear your voices. We want to know how do we get our physical, mental, spritual needs met by yall w/o nagging yall. what if we said "You know baby i love you to death but you are leaving room for another man to take your place because you are not doing XYZ for me". How would that make you feel? If that is the wrong approach then what is the right one. onyinye2: I like your approach but what if the response is for you to wait and the time he wants you to wait is too long? What do you do then? How do you get him to do it sooner? Is that even possible? |
Re: Getting Your Needs Met W/o Nagging! by onyinye2(f): 6:23pm On Aug 13, 2008 |
sistawoman:That is a simple answer Whenever he wants something I'll make him wait long to see How it feels If he takes to long to do something I just take control of the situation And use my resources to make him. |
Re: Getting Your Needs Met W/o Nagging! by Queenisha: 6:32pm On Aug 13, 2008 |
You have to know the man. I mean know him well and be able to predict him like you're a soothsayer I have studied my man well well. I used to nag until I learnt the trick. I just say it once in a calm,low tone He may say No but 99% of the time,he'll end up doing it The most I'll say in response is "baby please" However if I ask for something and he says no and I respond and raise my voice,99% of the time,he won't do it. even if hell freezes over Men don't like to feel commanded or bossed around. That's just a fact. my mama taught me many tricks to making a man eat off the palms of your hand. |
Re: Getting Your Needs Met W/o Nagging! by rampant(f): 6:44pm On Aug 13, 2008 |
sistawoman dont tell me u r d nagging type? |
Re: Getting Your Needs Met W/o Nagging! by segzicres(m): 6:52pm On Aug 13, 2008 |
snake bite is the only way my babe gets me to do something for her, |
Re: Getting Your Needs Met W/o Nagging! by sistawoman: 6:56pm On Aug 13, 2008 |
rampant: No i am not the nagging type, but there is something that is sticking in my craw and I have broched the subject once before and he wants me to wait but waiting i really not an option. |
Re: Getting Your Needs Met W/o Nagging! by lidbb2(m): 7:34pm On Aug 13, 2008 |
[Queenisha][/You have to know the man. I mean know him well and be able to predict him like you're a soothsayer I have studied my man well well. I used to nag until I learnt the trick. I just say it once in a calm,low tone He may say No but 99% of the time,he'll end up doing it The most I'll say in response is "baby please" However if I ask for something and he says no and I respond and raise my voice,99% of the time,he won't do it. even if hell freezes over Men don't like to feel commanded or bossed around. That's just a fact. ] @ poster queenisha has said how to get what you want from him without nagging. pls note the bold sentences. |
Re: Getting Your Needs Met W/o Nagging! by topup: 7:40pm On Aug 13, 2008 |
This is the secret which I always tell my friends, If you give a man what he wants, and you satisfy him, emotional, physically, (and other things ), he will start to want to please you, without nagging at all. If you bring it up to him and he ignores you, keep playing his game, then usually the conscience comes in, and he'll think 'how can I please this wonderful woman of mine?' and he'll remember what you said, OR he'll come and ask you. It's seen as sucking in your pride, and it truly is, want to be pleased? Please your man first. I hate this, because it sounds SO against all the equal rights we have worked for, but it truly is that way. My dad has told me a million times, men are selfish and tend to think about themselves a lot, so if you give them what they need to be happy, they will soon start seeking for the things that makes the person sustaining them, also happy. I think this is also the secret to any good marriage. |
Re: Getting Your Needs Met W/o Nagging! by lidbb2(m): 7:57pm On Aug 13, 2008 |
@ poster also read what topup wrote above.she also "hit the nail on the head". what she said should work on any normal man. @ topup i agree with all what you said. u seem to understand men. |
Re: Getting Your Needs Met W/o Nagging! by rampant(f): 8:11pm On Aug 13, 2008 |
topup: sweetheart,uve said it all,can i buy u a drink |
Re: Getting Your Needs Met W/o Nagging! by onyinye2(f): 8:15pm On Aug 13, 2008 |
Topup, I hate you for this Gosh i hate admit it but it true Easiest way to get what you want Is to please him Even someone as stubborn as me Has to suck some of that And please the guy first Then I know i will get what i want |
Re: Getting Your Needs Met W/o Nagging! by sistawoman: 8:18pm On Aug 13, 2008 |
And when you have done all of this and this is still not working? |
Re: Getting Your Needs Met W/o Nagging! by lidbb2(m): 8:29pm On Aug 13, 2008 |
then the man is probably not normal. infact,he is not normal at all. psychiatric evaluation may be recommended for him. |
Re: Getting Your Needs Met W/o Nagging! by sistawoman: 8:35pm On Aug 13, 2008 |
Maybe it is just that what i am asking for is not something that he is trained to do. He is romantic, I will not take that away from him but I NEED more time, more attention. He works at night i work during the day. I dont want to have to tell him that when my stomach cramps you should rub it. I dont want to tell him that when my back hurts he should offer to rub it. He does not need to tell me these things. I have told him I NEED a date night, just one night that he does not work, lets go to the movies, dinner, dancing, walk in the park, something outside of the house and away from the kids. It may seem small to other but this is what he did to get me, now keep doing it. |
Re: Getting Your Needs Met W/o Nagging! by onyinye2(f): 8:37pm On Aug 13, 2008 |
sistawoman:It will You see me, I hate giving up anything When i want something, I want it now, not later,now But when i read who topup posted I remember how much easier it was To get what i want when i used this way I got what i need done, and then some It works with all men I mean i even do it with my father When i want something from him I have to do something on my part So he would be happy to give it to me. |
Re: Getting Your Needs Met W/o Nagging! by lidbb2(m): 8:44pm On Aug 13, 2008 |
ahh i see. its that old case of him stopping what made him get you in the fisrt place.no he's got you he feels its not necessary again. its a common feature in relationships. well all you can do is to talk to him and tell him you are unhappy and you feel neglected and so on. you'd be surprised what communication can do in a relationship. he might not know he's taking you for granted. about the back rub and stomach cramps,well you'll have to tell him either directly or indirectly.leave hints in your sentences, like the last time your sister rubbed ur stomach when you had cramps it felt so good,etc. dont assume that he would know everything. he simply may not know at all.you'll have to tell him. |
Re: Getting Your Needs Met W/o Nagging! by rampant(f): 8:44pm On Aug 13, 2008 |
onyinye2: if u think u r stubborn then come to me and i will show u the hard knot stubborness in full @topic im a very stubborn and hot tempered person ,but wen it comes to things like dis ,u just have to dump ur temper and stubborness into a river cos it wont help u at all,at first i almost ran out of his house due to frustration,but trust my mum,who told me she never wants to see me legs in her house i had to accept my faith,and after a while she called me, sat me down and explained sm cetain things to me,and begged me to drop that temper and stubborn nature of mine,and many other things,blive me it hs worked for me and is still working for me though i have not dropped my stubborness,but there r sm places and areas in ur life(especially d married ones)dat u will have to drop all dat ,and use wisdom to climb that ladder uve been wanting to climb no man wants a woman dat will order him around[b],men r babies ,and the only way u can get them is by acting like the babies that they r[/b] |
Re: Getting Your Needs Met W/o Nagging! by Nobody: 8:50pm On Aug 13, 2008 |
topup, may you find fine husband . . . like me Onyinye2, good thing you are learning here . . . nothing annoys me more than a woman who thinks she can whine and nag her way to getting what she wants. 101% of the time i wont budge. |
Re: Getting Your Needs Met W/o Nagging! by sistawoman: 8:50pm On Aug 13, 2008 |
The thing is I am that way or at least i think I am. I am a submissive, respectful wife. The house is always clean, dinner is ready when he comes in for dinner break, the kids are always tended to (in fact they have been gone all summer). I am always sexy, smelling nice, looking nice. We play very well together every night. I will just re-evaluate what I am doing to see if improvement is needed on my part. |
Re: Getting Your Needs Met W/o Nagging! by rampant(f): 8:53pm On Aug 13, 2008 |
sistawoman: dont u think u r pressurizing him?i knw we women crave and love attention like so very annoying much,but smtimes wen d time is not there we have to adjust,since uve told him about it,why not sit back and never mention it to him again,lets see if he wont take u up on d offer |
Re: Getting Your Needs Met W/o Nagging! by onyinye2(f): 8:57pm On Aug 13, 2008 |
davidylan:Ha ha ha Very funny Oka i already knew this I just HATE admitting it rampant:Mba, im fine Im not ready to meet My match. |
Re: Getting Your Needs Met W/o Nagging! by rampant(f): 8:59pm On Aug 13, 2008 |
onyinye2: u will see the real stubborness by d time i start exhibiting mine |
Re: Getting Your Needs Met W/o Nagging! by KarmaMod(f): 9:03pm On Aug 13, 2008 |
It may seem small to other but this is what he did to get me, now keep doing it. and they say only women change after marriage |
Re: Getting Your Needs Met W/o Nagging! by onyinye2(f): 9:03pm On Aug 13, 2008 |
rampant:Mba, i rather change my ways Then to meet someone who is More stubborn then me And i have yet to meet that Person, and i don't want to. |
Re: Getting Your Needs Met W/o Nagging! by topup: 10:35pm On Aug 13, 2008 |
lol lidbb2 - tell that to my ex hehe This is a great topic, I'm really enjoying the responses. |
Re: Getting Your Needs Met W/o Nagging! by HRhotness(f): 10:40pm On Aug 13, 2008 |
Men are simple creatures a little ego stroking and negotiation can go a long way. . . just learn what buttons to push and u will have him in the palm of your hands |
Re: Getting Your Needs Met W/o Nagging! by topup: 10:48pm On Aug 13, 2008 |
sistawoman: Oh I think I get it, it's now an issue of complacency. The problem with a marriage is that you can't threathen to leave for something like that (if you respect the oaths you took infront of God). I feel your pain (or used to feel it), when you try your best, tick all the boxes that men say makes a great woman and a woman they would do anything for. Well, I have a great feeling that this isn't about you, I think maybe your husband os only physically tired and he is compromising on his ability to satisfy you in order to cope. If this is a new job of his maybe you need to give him some time ot adjust to the workload, however, I am sure you have already talked this through with him. You can only pray that he takes on board what you're saying because it seems that you've tried all the sensible and mature options. One thing I will say is maybe take the initiative, I understand you want him to initiate these things, but maybe you should try and guide him in the right direction. Though you hate to ask, ask, maybe it'll become habit and he'll start recognizing and soon you may start hearing 'hunny, do you want me to rub your back' maybe, book a table at your favourite restaurant. I highly doubt that once all preparations have been made, he'll turn you down. You just have to take the necessary steps in pleasing youself, if he won't take the initiative. I hope you haven't relied in the stereotype that the man is responsible for certain things etc, maybe if he helped out more with the kids and at home, maybe you'd be also not have as high expectations in the romance section. Both of you should share these tasks equally, then you won't feel so taken for granted. Hope your situation gets better. Sincerely. |
Re: Getting Your Needs Met W/o Nagging! by jgirl3: 11:02pm On Aug 13, 2008 |
topup, you are so right. I hate the idea of giving him everything just like that. It's like you are spoiling your man with too much and he might take you for granted I think the best way to get your needs met without nagging is to have a grown up discussion with the man. Men cannot read our minds contrary to the idea that they all have in their heads. If you don't tell them, how are they supposed to know what your needs are? When you treat your guy like a King, I guess he'll treat you like a Queen. Meet his needs I cannot believe these words are even crossing my mind and he MIGHT meet your needs Remember some men are just born dogs. They don't know how to appreciate things like that. |
Re: Getting Your Needs Met W/o Nagging! by CodeRED(f): 11:14pm On Aug 13, 2008 |
j-girl: J are u freaking kidding me? How many "men" know what it means to have a grown-up dicsussion? Abeg, 3/4 of them arent even grown. You are forgetting, having a 6inch d.ick, doesnt in anyway contributes to ones maturity. So maybe you will need to restructure that baby girl, LOL, Also ONLY those whose parents treated them like King, can later appreciate when they are treated likewise by their spouses. Those who grew up abuses and maligned won't even know they are being treated like king, even if you stamped the title unto their foreheads, |
Re: Getting Your Needs Met W/o Nagging! by Nobody: 11:19pm On Aug 13, 2008 |
dont waste your time, once a man is comfortable enough in a relationship he has very little interest in a "grown up discussion". that is all your own headache. |
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