@poster i will put u in my prayers and i pray ur hussy realizes it before its 2 late

I have an aunt also who puts condoms in her hussy's bag cos my aunties adviced her 2, and she is happier 2day. Cos of my uncle(who is a stench christian and all) my aunt cant have a child cos he beat her (she was pregnant)after a confrontation dat he was sleeping with the next door's neighbours wife and the wifey told her dat her husband comes 2 her ouse wen he claims hes travelling, parks the car at anoda place so she cant suspect and dey f**k all day she had anoda miscarriage and wen she reported 2 family members 2 intervene dey said wat more can she ask for dat he gives her house keeping money and money for petrol and told her 2 face her business she wept so hard dat day and recently she adopted a boy and my uncle didnt accept the child and she told him wateva

@sistawoman
Wen i was younger where I grew u r told men are useless and cheats and WILL ALWAYS CHEAT ON YOU IN ANY FORM so ur job is provide 4 ur kids,prepare his meal and lay on his bed d day u feel like so d issue is we cant erase wat the older generation mothers have done just pray God gives us non-CHEATING husbands cos its an epidermic everywere u turn its in ur face and train our kids 2 be better and 4 our girl children not 2 take crap from anybody and 4 the boys 2 have a conscience

This is such a common problem. Let me share something with you - this was told to me by a leading female Christian fellowship leader in Lagos
1) turn a blind eye and put it to prayer
2) do not blame the girls, pray for them
3) always accept your partner's explanation even if its a bit ropey
4) never ever snoop - seek and you will find

Now, I don't personally agree with all 4 of the above, I am simply sharing. I think there is often a mix up between Spiritual advice and Cultural advice. I think the acceptance of cheating is more of a Nigerian thing than a Christian thing.

Don't call the girls because by doing that you are validating them. They are nothing, you are the wife. Please remember this.

You are the only one who really knows if he can change or if he will always be this way. What is your heart telling you?

Kunbee:

@sistawoman
Wen i was younger where I grew u r told men are useless and cheats and WILL ALWAYS CHEAT ON YOU IN ANY FORM so ur job is provide 4 ur kids,prepare his meal and lay on his bed d day u feel like so d issue is we cant erase wat the older generation mothers have done just pray God gives us non-CHEATING husbands cos its an epidermic everywere u turn its in ur face and train our kids 2 be better and 4 our girl children not 2 take crap from anybody and 4 the boys 2 have a conscience

How do you teach your girls not to take crap but you take crap?

Dont our children not only learn from what they hear but also from what they see?

Its is now a major problem wt nigerian men, INFIDELITY. Even if u lay down ur life 4 dem, u r still not a good wife,

My recommendation, is prayer cos there is nothing God cannot do. I believe if is God dat ordained this institution called marriage, Him alone can settle every home in disarray. Intensify prayers for your own sake, if u knw wat i mean,

@sistawoman
[b]Wen i was younger where I grew u r told men are useless and cheats and WILL ALWAYS CHEAT ON YOU IN ANY FORM so ur job is provide 4 ur kids,prepare his meal and lay on his bed [/b]d day u feel like so d issue is we cant erase wat the older generation mothers have done just pray God gives us non-CHEATING husbands cos its an epidermic everywere u turn its in ur face and train our kids 2 be better and 4 our girl children not 2 take crap from anybody and 4 the boys 2 have a conscience

i laugh i laugh things like this makes me laugh. i will not marry a man who has eyes outside God nor go let me see and i will do everything in my power to keep a good home and make him happy (same goes for him). i will accept nothing less if i dont cheat he should not.
I have grown up and seen alot of nonsense (a woman wastes her entire life with a useless man and unhappy marriage. What a life to live)and there is a limit to what i will take. Turn a blind eye to a cheating man, place condoms in his bag so he cheats with sense, keep shut cos at least he is providing money and taking care of things.God forbid, let me be single then and be happy. i always tell myself there is one life to live and everyone deserves to be happy. i could never accept a marriage like that and be happy. i dont deserve it and by God i will teach my daughters not to accept less from any man.

How do you teach your girls not to take crap but you take crap?

Dont our children not only learn from what they hear but also from what they see?


Luckily 4 me im not married and i will not be anytime soon so i dont know about that, and i pray all d time 4 a non-cheating husband cos[b] ALL [/b] my uncles cheat with or without their wives knowing, but i think my psyche is affected a little cos if my hubby does it i will be like whateva and train my childen in the way of the Lord and i am yet 2 see a marriage that is cheat-free unlike urs

@ poster

Call every girl on his phonebook? Good work. Like say them nor know he is married.

Kunbee:

Luckily 4 me im not married and i will not be anytime soon so i dont know about that, and i pray all d time 4 a non-cheating husband cos[b] ALL [/b] my uncles cheat with or without their wives knowing, but i think my psyche is affected a little cos if my hubby does it i will be like whateva and train my childen in the way of the Lord and i am yet 2 see a marriage that is cheat-free unlike urs

But children learn from not just what you say but what you do.

Do you really want your girls to turn a blind eye to thier husbands cheating?

Do you think that my husband stays faithful cuz i pray harder or because he knows I am out the door faster than he can say "but baby"?

There are no "but baby's" when it comes to cheating. In our marriage it is understood that the same standards he holds me to he is also held to.

He always says "no man can eat my meat", and I turn and say "no woman shall taste mine either". I believe in quid pro quo. And am not afraid to stand on my two feet alone and support my children by ourselves.

I would never want my boys to grow up knowing that I allowed my husband to cheat on me thus installing in them the idea that they can just do that to women. And I would never want my daughter to think that I was so deseperate to keep a man and marriage that I turned a blind eye to his cheating.

If I want to taste another womans puzzy i will do it first hand. I dont need to taste it off his manliness.

I wrote dat story above so that nobody would pity my aunt but see the advice she was given over the issue, my wonderful sistawoman i wish i can debate dis issue with u but not on this forum with us derailing the thread, but i repeat Nigeria is different from America u cant just getup and leave if u do u r gonna be stigmatized and ur kids are going 2 hate tell ur hubby 2 give u info on Nigerian men cheating cos its hard 2 type and u understand, Here are somethings they would tell u and sound justified

1. Am i the only one doing it

2. What is new under the sun

3. Forgive me so that God can forgive your sins

4. Please stop making unnecessary noise in my head

Its cool u train ur kids that way but Nigeria is different, i dont know why my aunt is still married to dat[b] IDIOT[/b] but i eavesdropped and i think she said he was gonna die sooner or later of sumthing so she might as well stay, and who will marry a barren woman and besides it is wrong 2 leave ur husband until he sends u out of the house (almost all Nigerian women say this especially YORUBA women) and some also say its wrong 4 a man 2 be a 1-woman man cos either he is weak or she has used her vagina or charm 2 trap him

But sista things used to be like that here in the states as well, until women said enough is enough.

I can not and will not just "accept" that "men will be men". I will not continue to give all that I have to this man for him to just disrespect me and cheat on me.

The way things are setup in 9ja men will never appreciate and value and respect their women as they should. They will never really see their true worth because they are taught and society expects them to cheat and keep a girl on the outside.

But that is every persons own cross to bear. Me for myself, i made the mistake once of accepting a cheating partner back into my life and spent another 2 years with him that were a waste of time on a cheater. I never really got over the fact that despite all the men that tried to toast me I never once cheated on him or thought about it, but he did it to me.

I understand that things are so much more different in 9ja then here in the states, but with a change in attitudes from the women then men will start to slowly change. - Lead from behind

Has this gotten rid of cheaters in the States? Hell no!!! but thanks to good divorce laws and property sharing many think twice before committing the deed.
They often remember that it is cheaper to keeper or just end the marriage before sleeping with someone else.

I hope you also did not 'steal' the guy from another girl before you married him. many girls think they are smart when they snatch a guy from another girl without realising that that is a sign that the guy is unfaithful.

I hope that's not the case with you

@poster, it seems to me that you are really in love with that your hubby hein you also you couldn't sleep because of him huh ? e be like say sleep no dey your face, tchioo you better get over it and carry on with ya life is hes not worth fighting or living for !!

why do women always want to confront the "woman" this woman owes you nothing, it is your "man" that you need to talk to, calling another woman is like begging her to stay away from ur man and that might even be worse because some women have that " i can take your man " mentality,.,.,ur husband is lieing and you know this,,however let t go for now unless u want to cause yourself sleepless nights and heart attack, just keep an eye open to him, also as i always tell nmy friends who are having issues, ,,if someone wants ur man let him go, odds are they will eventually send his backside back to u once the novelty wears off and that is when u can decide what u want to do, jmo, it's not worth to lose ur mental state over a guy.

love text lol!!!, its all about money !!!

Euchena:

In regard to all the cheating husbands,

We as wives can't change a cheater but If you are lucy enough to find out his girlfriends name like I did, What you do is expose her name to the public and let the world know where she comes from.Let her village know that they have produced a husband stealing harlot, then what will her parents and relatives think of her then. Sometimes you just have to shame them both. De demons work best under the cover of darkness and like it if no one knows whst they are doing. EXPOSE THEM

May I ask a question in regards to this;

Have you forgotten that some men lie about their marital status
How do you deal with the girls who didnt know that the man was married?

Besides, I find it very unreasonable for you to blame the girls and expose them. What will that change? I can guarantee you that for every ten girls you know who your husband is cheating on you with, there are a hundred others you are not even aware of. The girls are not the problem. The HUSBAND is the problem , not the girls.