One day, papa tomato, mama tomato and baby tomato were walking
down the street.
Baby tomato started lagging behind,
papa tomato got angry,
went back,
squishes it,
and says
"CATCH UP".

ACCORDING TO RECENT STUDIES THE PENIS IS THE HEALTHIEST BREAKFAST FOR WOMEN BCUZ IT COMES W/A SAUSAGE, 2 EGGS, AND MILK

A MAN SAYS 2 HIS WIFE: TELL ME SOMETHING THAT'LL MAKE ME HAPPY AND MAD AT THE SAME TIME. THE WIFE SAYS: YUR d*ck IS BIGGER THAN YOUR BROTHER'S

I luv the way it rubs against the soft pink flesh creatin a creamy foamy liquid, as it thrust in & out up& down, can't wait til nxt time I LUV MY TOOTHBRUSH

A boy n girl r dancin @ a Disco. dey kiss n stop instantly.d girl says 2 d boy “r u a mechanic?” d boy says“no y” d girl says“well get ya hands frm under my mini”

Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk! =)

be careful when a guy tells u that he loves u from the bottom of his heart.for this may mean that there is still enough space for another girl on top

What 2 things in the air can make a girl pregnant? HER FEET

A guy picks up a girl 4 the date.

The guy asks: Why are u wearing ur belt around ur knee?

Girl: I promised my mom that I wouldn't let you touch me below my belt.

Remember 2 remember me Forget of forgetting me Even if u try 2 remember 2 forget me, i will never forget to remember to remind u 2 remember me ww.yedo.tk

Friendship is a special kind of love more than endless more than true no matter how busy they are Expect ur friend to keep in touch with u like the way i do

Hurray! Hurray!! Hurray!!! Promo in HEAVEN for sinners like you. Die now and go to heaven witout judgement offer last till feb 9th 007 HAPPY NEW YEAR. Yedo

A good friend is like a good bra, hard 2 find, comfortable, supportive, prevents you from falling, holds you tight, and is always close 2 ur heart!

He came @ night, explored my body, got on top of me, touched me, he bit, sucked, swalowd, when he was satisfyed, he left, i was hurt, BLOODY. MOSQUITO

How long shall we be friends? Do you want a clue? As long as stars twinkle in the sky, till the water runs dry and till the day I die. We will be friends.

Our first hello? d day we became friends? Well, I do and I will always remember. For dat very day, I knew I'd cherish you

You may think that I forgot you. You may think that I don't care, and you may think that I'm not thinking of you. Well, you're wrong. You're still in my dreams.

Sweet candies are nice to eat , Sweet words are easy to say , but, sweet ppl are hard to find , OH MY GOD! how did i find u

This question, do forex indicators really predict actual price movements? is a question many forex traders worldwide really find difficult to answer. This is Emma from  forexismoney I suppose you might have received a previous mail from me i.e THE STORY OF MY FOREX SIDE OF LIFE and I hope you acted on it cos those who did are really thanking God for it. The most challenging part of my early forex life is how to use these forex indicators. I tried so many of them stochs, RSI, Envelops, Parabolic Sars, Fractals, Williams% range, Zigzag, and even the supposed mighty indicator i.e. Fibonnacci yet I lost my money to these forex brokers. Now frankly speaking, will the brokers who want you to loose your money to them put any indicator that will tell you actual price movement on their platform? NO NEVER.DO NOT BE DECEIVED NO INDICATOR ON THE BROKERS PLATFORM WILL TELL YOU THE EXACT PRICE MOVEMENTS.
   Over the years seasoned traders have found a way of interpreting these indicators to suit their own purpose and only a few wise traders knows this secrets I myself inclusive [courtesy of Eric my forex friend]. The people I introduced these indicators to who are now my forex students were amazed. They do tell me that they’ve never heard of it before and yet it works perfectly well. After getting to know these system, I still kept on doing more research, I keep buying foreign materials cos the difference between a trader and a trainer is that a trader will always look for ways to better his trading methods while a trainer is always looking for ways to organize seminars and collect training fees from people. I attended   my first forex seminar in 2006 and after then I have attended several other seminars on forex. Could you believe that the guy that organized that seminar in 2006 was still teaching what he taught people in 2006[as at Nov.2007]? There was no improvement at all. He taught us about moving average of 5 crossing 10 from bottom to top and vice versa in 2006 and he still kept to it in 2007 what a shame. And to think the system is even a lossser after all.
During the course of my further research, I came across an e-book on forex; it is even the latest edition of that book. I bought the book for $700.As I was reading the book my eye caught something in that book and I immediately wrote the author of that book inquiring about what my eye caught. He talked about a forex indicator he developed himself which works well. I asked him to give me this indicator to try out but he said never  .He asked for a fee of $1000 before he could give me the indicator. Since I was ready to try out this indicator coupled with the fact that the author and originator of that indicator is from Russia [Russians are very smart and intelligent people] I decided to pay him that fee. After the payment of that fee he sent this indicator to me. Itried this indicator for 2weeks on one of my live accounts and it worked well. Then in the 3rd week I tried to marry this indicator with my own trading pattern and plan, my God it was like adding petrol to fire. The results were fantastic and really amazing. So I decided to introduce it to my forex students, to my surprise I could not use it on their platforms despite the fact that we use the same platform. So I wrote the originator of the indicator explaining what I experienced  .He said it will only work for me cos he has imputed a code into it that will make it work with my forex account only. I was able to make a bargain with the owner of this indicator and he gave me the resale right of this indicator for $200 per account anybody interested in this indicator will get it. I will have to put it on your computer myself. Several of my students have since gotten theirs. This indicator if combined well with a good trading pattern and plan will tell you when to enter and exit from the market. PLEASE IT IS NOT A TRADE ALERT SIGNAL. It is an indicator that will tell you entry and exit points if well combined with a good trading plan.
  THIS IS AN INDICATOR YOU WILL NEVER FIND ON ANY BROKERS PLATFORM ANYWHERE,
  I am ready to teach only 20people for a fee of #50,000.00 on a one on one basis on how to use this indicator in conjunction with a very good trading pattern that will give you maximum profits from your trades. Although I have said that I will not train people again but I keep getting calls everyday form people begging to be trained and cos of this, I will only train 20 people apart from my existing students. So if you are interested you can contact me on phone or by e-mail, as soon as I train 20 people one on one, I will stop training people about the use of this wonderful indicator. THIS INDICATOR IS NOT A ROBOT.
I bet am the first and only person in Nigeria introducing these indicators to forex traders in this country. I know you will simply LOVE it.
   Please do not see this letter as a sales letter at all cos by God’s grace am very comfortable enough financially trading forex. As many as God has ordained to get this training will definitely get it.
 If I spend the number of hours I use in training people on trading I know how much I’ll make but I have to give and share cos the more I share the more understanding I get myself. I always make sure that I mentor my students to succed. There are some of my students who are old enough to be my grandfather. My oldest student is about 76years and am not yet 30myself.
 There is no short cut to success except through hard work slow and steady wins the race. If you think the forex market is a get rich quick thing forget it. It entails good planning and you must work hard to succed. When I was still in my Forex wilderness I got the contact of a guy at the University of Ife [O.A.U] who promised to help out of my forex predicaments. I paid #70,000.00 into his bank account I traveled all the way from Abuja to Ife.When I got to Ife, it was raining cats and dog I was socked to my undies when I called the guy to inform him of my arrival, he asked me to wait somewhere on campus for him. I waited till around 10pm for him [with my wet clothes] I did not see him; I slept on a bench in the cold till the following morning. The guy showed up the second day and we went to a café on campus. What he taught me was total rubbish I even discovered that I know more than he does. This is just a story out of the several stories I have to tell about my forex wilderness days. My elder brothers story is even more pathetic cos he is a married man and you know what forex can turn someone to especially if you are not getting it right. But we thank God today for what we are making in forex. FOREX MADE US.
            After so much pressure from people, am considering organizing a seminar for people who may not have enough money to come for my one on one training. I will be charging a token fee of #30,000.00 per participant and it is only open for 50 people as soon as that number is complete, registration for the seminar will close. I will be organizing the seminar in Lagos sometimes in January. The exact date and venue will be communicated to people who register .If you are interested in attending this seminar, just send a mail to forexismoney99@yahoo.com indicating your interest. What am going to teach you at this seminar has never been taught in any forex seminar previously held in Nigeria. The reason I said this is because I have virtually attended all forex seminar held in both Lagos and Abuja from year 2006 till date so I know what am saying. This is going to be my first and only seminar .So if you miss this you miss out
 A student of mine called to inform me of how she turned a $1000 account to $5000 in 3 days. She was expecting me to give her kudos but I reprimanded her and I gave my reasons why I don’t support such a thing. She was disappointed. But the very next week she told me that she lost $4500 in a single trade. Ever since then she had kept to the trading plan I gave her. Forex is not about turning $1000 TO $500,000.00 in a month. Forex is about discipline, hard work, and consistency.
Please that seminar will be taking place on weekdays when the market is active and if you have lost money to forex market before I assure you that you will not loose again after this seminar. In fixing the price of these seminar I considered  not overpricing myself and at the time not under pricing myself.
 If you are coming for either my one on one personal training or the seminar that will be coming up in January please kindly delete all those your former forex strategies from your brain [e.g. newstrading from forex bastard, robot trading, and your so called moving averages] cos I will be putting something new into it. As I do not want my students to pass through what I went through before I got it right in forex. Please when coming for the seminar make sure you eat well from home cos this is not going to be a refreshment kind of seminar you are always used to. Make sure that you also bring along a notebook together with a red and a black biro and 4 pieces of A4 printing paper. I have no manual or cds to give out but what I will teach you at this 2days seminar will benefit you very well. This seminar is only meant for people who have drive to succeed.
If after attending this seminar you still lost money to the market then please just pack up your computer and forget about forex trading.
   This seminar is going to be an all-inclusive seminar every participant should be prepared for it.
 In this mail I have been able to tell you two things
1.     Anybody interested in my personal one on one training will pay #50,000.00 and I             will teach them how to use that indicator from Russia together with a trading plan. I will   mentor you till you succeed.
I will be organizing a seminar in January for a fee of #30,000.00 for only 50 people and if you want to participate just mail to register and if for any reason you were unable to attend the seminar after registration please tell me in time so that I can allocate that seat to another person.
         BENEFITS OF ATTENDING THIS SEMINAR INCLUDES;
1.I will teach you a very simple but profitable and powerful method you can use in making profits from forex.
2. I will teach you how to trade just only the London open and stay away from your computer
3.I will teach you how to make a minimum of guaranteed 25pips daily GUARANTEED.
4.I will also teach you how you can make a minimum of 50- over 300 pips in a single trade provided the opportunity presents itself [i have done this several times myself]
5.You will be taught how to trade on 1HOUR AND 4 HOUR charts .
6.I will teach you how not to be emotional about your live trades
For further quetions and enquiries contact me on 0703-574-1935 or e-mail forexismoney99@yahoo.com
Attending any of these programmes is to your own advantage .As I said earlier that am very comfortable trading forex. The decisions you take concerning these letter is solely yours. Am not a forex guru, genius, professor, coach or specialist am just an ordinary trader who knows how to stay on the positive side of price and in the forex market PRICE IS KING.
 Thanks a lot and happy trading.
 Yours in Trading
    EMMA.

When you get this SMS, send it to 1 person u love, 1 u hate, 1 u always think of and 1 u wish to kill. Now, keep guessing why I sent it to u.

sex is like nokia (connecting people) like nike (just do it) like pepsi (ask for more) like samsung (everybody is invited) and like me (care for more)

When things go wrong,when sadness fills ur heart,when tears flow in ur eyes,Always remember three things
1)Am with you
2)U have money
3)Bar is open
lets go.

My eyes r full of uncontrollable tearsbcoz u r far away frm me.I wish if u were near me today to cut these onions for me.

True friends r like diamonds…They r real & rare.False frnds r like leaves…They r scattered everywhere.some times it will be a painful journey finding them.

A doctor can save my life
A lawer can defend my life
A sodier can giv me a peaceful life
but only a friend like u can give me ur wife.

Mr.inside went to see Mr.outside.Inside standing outside called outside outside.but outside sitting inside callled inside inside.when inside came inside outside went outside to see inside.then outside called inside outside.but inside from inside called outside inside.now where is ur brain?inside or outside

If u r not sleeping read this message.otherwise just sleep.I just had a doubtif u r still sleeping bcoz u seem to be sleeping now.so if u still want to sleep i want to tell u that if u still want sleep just sleep.hope i have not disturbed u when u were sleeping and sorry for disturbing u while u where sleeping.Gnight

GIRLS POLICY: Fraud with innicent boys! Fun with handsome boys! Friendship with smart boys! Love with faithful boys! Marriage with rich boys! So be careful!!!

WOMAN has ‘MAN’ in it.MRS has ‘MR’ in it.FEMALE has ‘MALE’ in it.SHE has ‘HE’ in it.MADAM has ‘ADAM’ in it.No wonder “MEN” always want to be inside.

As I wathced the ants crawl up the wall i noticed that no matter how busy they are,they still stop & communicate with another. Hope we can be like them in touch for ever.

Three men were hanging out when they found a bottle, The first man takes it and rubs it and a jeanie got out. The Jeanie tells the 3 mans that she had a special way to grant wishes, 3 pools apears while she explains the rules: Jump in the pool while yelling the thing that you want most in the world. So the 1st starts and shouts "MONEY" as he jumps in a pool full of money, The 2nd one jumps and yells "WOMEN" and into women he lands. The 3rd one starts running and slips "CRAP" He screams.

"E is the most unfortunate character in the alphabet. It is always out of "Cash", forever in "Debt", never out of "Danger", and in "Hell all the time. But notice that "E" is never in "War" and always in "Peace". It's the beginning of "Existence and the end of "Trouble". Without "E", we would have no "Love", "Life", or "Heaven". Go E!