recently, my hubby told me that while i was pregnant 4 him b4 he got married, another lady was also pregnant 4 him. ive been married for 4 years and have two kids. ive had a very turbulent marriage and im not saying its all his fault, im also 2 blame. i was sincere during our months of courtship and not 4 1 day did he tell me that someone was pregnant 4 him. now im at crossroads

before this revelation, i was contemplating a separation till we could work things through - other issues like infidelity
now, do i go on a permanent separation cos i dont know what other secrets i may find, maybe he has a child outside?

can the church dissolve the marriage based on this information that was withheld?

Hey Ula,

I'm not sure what country you're in, but in the UK (and please seek legal advice to confirm this) a court can have a marraige annulled if it is proven that the marraige was entered into under false pretenses.

I suppose the non-disclosure of additional dependents could be considered. However before you go down that road, I think you should consider your posotion and really ask if seperation is what you really want,. I know you're hurt and i can't imagine how you must feel, but it's a hard slog out there and raising 3 kids by yourself is going to be tough.

I wish you the best

U are definitely going through a very diffult time and I sympathize with u,

. . . . . . . I don't think the Church would want to dissolve any marriage,

most especially cos of the fact they ultimately want peace for their members and they strongly believe in

reconciliation, . . . . . If u want that then u can very well speak to the elders of the church.

But it sounds like u had initially contemplated separation before the recent revelation,

cos like u said the marriage had been turbulent, for sometime,. . . . . . I'll suggest u spend

sometime apart briefly, clear Ur head and really think about how much more u can take

from this man, and see if u still have any genuine feelings for him, and if he is willing to be

truthful to u hence forth, then see if u can find it in Ur heart to forgive him, and then u both can move from there, . . . . .

It's a gradual process and I don't think it'll be easy, . . . . .but I certainly wish u well.

My dear sis,i feel your pains, take out your time and talk with him, try and focus your life on your children ALL MEN ARE LIARS YOU DON'T NEED TO WASTE YOUR TIME THINKING ABOUT HIM,

chisomquee:

My dear sis,i feel your pains, take out your time and talk with him, try and focus your life on your children ALL MEN ARE LIARS YOU DON'T NEED TO WASTE YOUR TIME THINKING ABOUT HIM,

Sis. go to the nearest pharmacist and buy a pill called "chilling Pill" take it with lot of water and you will be fine.
I am sick and tired of "all men are lairs" have u dealt with all men?

Hehehehe.

Anivara:

Hey Ula,

I'm not sure what country you're in, but in the UK (and please seek legal advice to confirm this) a court can have a marraige annulled if it is proven that the marraige was entered into under false pretenses.

How do you describe PRETENCE in this scenario ?

@Poster,
Since you agreed that both of you have faults in the failing marriage.Why not have talk with your husband and think about what brought both of you together the first time"LOVE".If the love is still there you can reconcile and find a common ground to bring your love back to life.Remember there is no erfection in human nature,both a dogs play(u fall 4 me,i fall 4 u)can make your marriage a success.

brownbobo the love you are asking her to try and connect with in the first place was a false one. It was based on lies. She certainly does not want to go back to that. I am not saying that things cannot be worked out but when you say infidelity, who was unfaithful? You or him?

yeah but your husband is married to YOU now. He could have went off and married the other one but he didn't. I wouldn't let that ruin my marriage.

Actually yeah, you can get your marriage annulled. Because you married under false pretenses. In other words the marriage can be treated as if it never existed.

you both should sit and talk about it, if he is willing to change and you want to forgive him (prolly because of the kids) then you should speak to a counselor or your pastor, as for me, i cannot be with a man who would disrespect me enough to cheat on me, cuz seeing his face would remind me of what he did and the hatred would keep building up n i'll end up doing something bad to him