A boy named Tunde, his girl friend's name is Bukky and Tunde's best friend is Tope who is a girl.Tunde introduced Tope and Bukky together, Bukky and Tope chat together on normal ground, but still yet Bukky is not comfortable with Tunde and Tope's friendship.

Tunde love his girl friend very well, he told Bukky everything about Tope, he said to her that Tope is a very good friend to him right from time, he told Bukky to believe that nothing is between both of them. Bukky believe that, Tunde and Tope love each other in fact Tope go to Tunde's house anytime and Tunde also go to Tope's house anytime, both of them chat together on phone, go out together, buying things together, both of them do things together every blessed day. Bukky called Tunde and told him to minimize the way they do things together,Bukky said she is confused about Tunde and Tope's behavior she said the relationship between both of them is becoming too much. Bukky warn Tunde to stop Tope from coming to his house or coming once in while, Tunde said nobody can stop them making friends, he said that nobody can depart them ,he said if Bukky try to seperate him from Tope, He'll break his relationship with Bukky. Tunde try to calm Bukky down to believe that nothing is between them. Please what is your advice for them,do you think Tunde is having an affair with Tope?

No, he's not cheating, but I think Tunde should be with Tope. Best friends make the best long-term partners.

I don't think Tunde is cheating either but i don't understand how Tunde can be very good friends with Tope right from time and have Bukky as his girlfriend when really it should be Tope

Tunde is nt cheating but he should really be with tope for they do things and have things in common bukky shud open her eyes and i seriously hope that her case wont be like of the film (Brown sugar).

I always argue with Tunde that he loves Tope more than Bukky, but he claims that Tope is just his Best friend, that the love he has for her is a special kind of love. Tunde is always happier with Tope around than with Bukky, Tunde said he wanted Tope to be his girl friend, but she wasn't conceding since Tunde is IGBO (Note: names used here are not the real names) and Tope Yoruba, Tope's parents don't want Igbos. For more than two years, they've been very close claiming to be best friends. Most times I suspect they might be having sex!.

@ At thread starter -
"Tunde said he wanted Tope to be his girl friend, but she wasn't conceding since Tunde is IGBO (Note: names used here are not the real names) and Tope Yoruba, Tope's parents don't want Igbos. For more than two years, they've been very close claiming to be best friends

According to the above, I would be concerned too if I were Bukky. It sounds like the only reason they are not an item is because of their parents, However, if their friendship has lasted this long despite their parents objections to courtship/marraige, sooner or later they will become one. My advise, tell Bukky to cut hjer losses sooner rather than later or she will be hurt, Tunde is not being fair at all to poor Bukky.

hmmm, What I think here is that Tunde got tired of waiting for Tope, so he got bukky! However, Bukky has the right to worry but I advise she doesn't nag nor accuse Tunde as she might be wrong. They might just be friends.

what is your advice for Bukky,what do u think she can do?

Bukky needs to chill, I'm sure she's got male friends that she's really tight with but doesn't do anything sexual with them. Instead of being envious, she should offer to make the friendship a three way friendship, that is, volunteer to go with them whenever they want to go shopping or whatever they do cause for all she may know she may like Tope too.

All this names sef.
I'm so dizzy

*Morenike:

All this names sef.
I'm so dizzy

I know. It is sounds like a word twister or something. "Tunde's girl friend name is Bukky , who is also a friend of Tope, who is Tunde's best friend. Who introduced Bukky his girlfriend to his best friend Tope who is a girl." Yada yada yada.

Miami_NBF:

what is your advice for Bukky,what do u think she can do?

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I think Bukky should look for another boyfriend,this Tunde is using her as a consolation prize because he cant get Tope. If he geniunely loved Bukky he wont blackmail he wouldn't try to blackmail Bukky by threatening to end the relationship if she came between him and Bukky. If Bukky and Tunde end up marrying would Tope still be hanging around their matrimonial home.

*Morenike:

All this names sef.
I'm so dizzy

 Lol   I had to keep going back to keep track.

Tunde is one confused chap.  .  .he still maintains the closeness with Tope because hez hoping she/her people will change their minds about him, and while he waits and hopes,hez keeping Bukky as spare tyre. Reserve player. Plan B.
This is grossly unfair to Bukky. Either he keeps trying to convince Tope and releases Bukky, or he should cool things with Tope and concentrate on building the same kind of close friendship with Bukky. If he thinks he can't do that,then perhaps he and Bukky are not meant to be at all.

Tope is being wicked in my opinion. As a woman,she should stop and think how she would feel if her man was spending so much time with anutha woman in the name of being 'best friends'. She can have him as her best friend if she wants,but she should be smart enough to quit spending all that time with Tunde and encourage him to spend it with Bukky instead. If she waz truly a best friend with Tunde's best interests at heart,she wouldn't do things that will sabotage his relationship with Bukky. Obviously,she doesn't seem to care about that.  .  .i thot best friends were supposed to look out for each other.

Bukky should not let herself end up being the dumbest mumu ever in all of this in the name of 'love'. Tunde obviously prefers Tope to her. Is it love or stupidity that will let a woman consent to taking second place in her man's heart??
 She should talk to Tope about this( since shez already talked to Tunde). See how Tope responds. If nuthing changes, abeg sisi Bukky, find ya level o. When your boyfriend threatens to leave you because of anutha woman,girl,what are you still doing with him?? There will definitely be a man that will treat her how a man in love should treat the woman he loves, not this second-place thing. Time usually isn't on the side of the ladies when it comes to these things,lol.

I don't see anything wrong in a man having a close female friend other than his girlfriend,but definite and clear lines have to be drawn. If shez not your girlfriend, don't treat her how you should treat your girlfriend.
 And the female friend should respect the girlfriend's status.

If a guy can't handle all of that,then hez better off not being close to any girl other than his girlfriend. Enuff of love triangles already.

Mehn. . .this my post take style long sha

I have been on the other side of that coin.

One of my best friends is Rob. We have known each other for over 15 years. I had a bf once that was not comfortable, like you, with the amount of time we spent together. He was not comfortable that Rob was always at my house. He was not comfortable that I called Rob first when there was a problem. He asked me to end my friendship with Rob because he was not comfortable.

The bf had the nearve to ask me to choose between a relationship of 15 year and 2 months. I looked my BF str8 in the eye and asked him where he needed me to drop him off.

Like Rob for me, for Tunde Tope has prob. been there thru it all. Tunde has been able to count on Tope and go to Tope and share everything with Tope. No one, but the right one, will be able to take Tope's top spot.

When my husband came along he took that top spot from Rob and Rob reconized that and backed down and let me do my thing with my husband.

If Bukky is not the one, Bukky will never be able to take Tope's spot. If Bukky insists Bukky will get dumped. If Bukky makes it her business to tag along she will get dumped. But if Bukky hangs in there and proves to Tunde and Tope that she is the one then all she wants is hers. The only way to prove this is time.

I wonder how long Bukky and Tunde been dating.

sistawoman:


If Bukky is not the one, Bukky will never be able to take Tope's spot. If Bukky insists Bukky will get dumped. If Bukky makes it her business to tag along she will get dumped. But if Bukky hangs in there and proves to Tunde and Tope that she is the one then all she wants is hers. The only way to prove this is time.

I wonder how long Bukky and Tunde been dating.

From the above and the poster's story, obviously Bukky's not the one. I'm sure the story will still be the same in 2 years.

This whole thread in confusing because of the names sef

Honestly, am familiar with these characters. I knew that Tunde loved Tope before meeting Bukky, Since then, He doesn't want to let go. Even the Tope have broken 2 relationships while Tunde was still waiting, yet he still hang on. It's almost 3 years now. This case came up last month when Tunde was hospitalized, that was when Tope and Bukky met face to face for the first time. Bukky be-friended Tope immediatly thinking she'll use that to keep them at distance, but it seems not to be working. Tope started frequenting Tunde's house in the name of checking on him, but Bukky was so jealous that they always argue about it. I know these guys and am really confused, but I highly believe that Tunde loves Bukky as a wife to be, as for Tope, he tells us they are 'best of friends' but

sunej:

Honestly, am familiar with these characters. I knew that Tunde loved Tope before meeting Bukky, Since then, He doesn't want to let go. Even the Tope have broken 2 relationships while Tunde was still waiting, yet he still hang on. It's almost 3 years now. This case came up last month when Tunde was hospitalized, that was when Tope and Bukky met face to face for the first time. Bukky be-friended Tope immediatly thinking she'll use that to keep them at distance, but it seems not to be working. Tope started frequenting Tunde's house in the name of checking on him, but Bukky was so jealous that they always argue about it. I know these guys and am really confused, but I highly believe that Tunde loves Bukky as a wife to be, as for Tope, he tells us they are 'best of friends' but

how long have bukky and Tunde been dating.

sistawoman:

how long have bukky and Tunde been dating.

For about a year plus now!

A year plus? In short,all the players in this game are confused

Confused u say? Things has been moving fine till last month, with the way I see Tope these days, it seems she wants to have Tunde, cos she's more dedicated than before.

then make sure she is uglier than u

a word they say, is enough for the wise, the only thing at the end of the tunnel for bucky is darkness. tunde is only using her as a past time until tope finally yield to his advances.

why is it difficult to choose between a best friend and a relationship at stake?

Tunde dey selfish small (and confused)

Bukky should find a best friend (guy) and apply the same strategy.


It will surely work.

Bukky is there on site seeing.

When she is done she will find her levels.

I am somewhat in the same situation. I do not agree with this I tell my mate that I am not comfortable with that because no matter how much we use the word platonic it is not so. In reality that opens the door for decete.[color=#770077][/color]

You guys are causing serious trouble here. Bukky is acting on all these replies, it's not fair, it's confusing and torturing the poor girl. Tunde really love her, now she doubts it.

don't let that bother you, remain ur good self as a constant reminder of ur love for him. His best friend is also ur friend so accommodate her. I advice you not to be jealous cos things might worse with this.

Sistawoman you always sound wise, i agree with you completely
Bukky should not try to tell him who he makes friends with. What
i think Bukky can do if she really loves Tunde, she should be friends
with Tope and learn more about Tunde from Tope. Like the saying
gone "Keep your friends close and your enemies ever closer."

As a person the truth has being confirmed by Cristalz, Bettes, Iyanlax, Kibanty is a real fact.

Tunde is trying to confuse every body about when he met Tope is just 2years plus, not three years, what can you say about this that happened like a month ago? Any time Tope come to Tunde's house,Tunde will send his junior sister out of the house and told her not to tell Bukky that she came around,but later Bukky will know.
Tunde do embarrass Bukky in front of Tope any time they are together and also Tunde feel very happy when Tope his with him than if Bukky is with him,

a word they say, is enough for the wise,don't mind him, u are not confusing Bukky, Bukky is not acting on what u people said. she will find solution to the problem, I mean a best solution.