Corporate Lingo - Jokes Etc - Nairaland
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What Would You Do If A Conductor Slaps U In Corporate Attire? / Corporate Diction / Corporate Culture (2) (3) (4)
| Corporate Lingo by ituen(m): 7:27am On Sep 21, 2008 |
"COMPETITIVE SALARY" We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors. "JOIN OUR FAST-PACED TEAM" We have no time to train you. "CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE" We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings. "MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED" You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day. "SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED" Some time each night and some time each weekend. "DUTIES WILL VARY" Anyone in the office can boss you around. "MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL" We have no quality control. "CAREER-MINDED" Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way). "APPLY IN PERSON" If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled. "NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE" We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality. "SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE" You'll need it to replace three people who just left. "PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST" You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos. "REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS" You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect. "GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS" Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it. |
| Re: Corporate Lingo by Cayon(f): 12:00am On Sep 22, 2008 |
Respect. Nice  |
| Re: Corporate Lingo by Scopium: 7:37am On Sep 22, 2008 |
[size=13pt]Coooooool  [/size] |
| Re: Corporate Lingo by clemcykul(f): 8:02am On Sep 22, 2008 |
i think i love this type of company policy  |
| Re: Corporate Lingo by Gabry(f): 9:45am On Sep 22, 2008 |
Yeah me too ohh |
| Re: Corporate Lingo by chioya(f): 10:39am On Sep 22, 2008 |
but wait a minute  |
| Re: Corporate Lingo by Scopium: 2:39pm On Sep 22, 2008 |
[size=13pt]You dey always wait a minute[/size] |
| Re: Corporate Lingo by clemcykul(f): 3:08pm On Sep 22, 2008 |
she think say she still dey use her nokai 3310 make call |
| Re: Corporate Lingo by spenchuks(m): 3:13pm On Sep 22, 2008 |
pls where the job dey  |
| Re: Corporate Lingo by Gabry(f): 3:14pm On Sep 22, 2008 |
See yourself in the mirror befoe you judge ohhh  |
| Re: Corporate Lingo by spenchuks(m): 3:19pm On Sep 22, 2008 |
atleast better dan u  |
| Re: Corporate Lingo by clemcykul(f): 3:20pm On Sep 22, 2008 |
but u cant affrd a mirror  |
| Re: Corporate Lingo by Gabry(f): 3:26pm On Sep 22, 2008 |
Clems, He be poor abi? Spen, ok. you said it. I have no comment |
| Re: Corporate Lingo by Scopium: 4:49pm On Sep 22, 2008 |
clemcykul: [size=13pt]Naaa I disagree. They always find a way to squeeze in a mirror inside their purse[/size] |
| Re: Corporate Lingo by Gabry(f): 1:25am On Sep 23, 2008 |
She meant for the males Scopium. |
| Re: Corporate Lingo by ituen(m): 7:38am On Sep 24, 2008 |
dont blame scorpium, been to a boys' school all his life nursery, primary, secondary n tertiary |
| Re: Corporate Lingo by spenchuks(m): 11:06am On Sep 24, 2008 |
no he's a seminarian  |
| Re: Corporate Lingo by clemcykul(f): 4:07pm On Sep 24, 2008 |
who dash u? |
| Re: Corporate Lingo by MrInfo1(m): 10:36pm On Sep 24, 2008 |
Mummy |
| Re: Corporate Lingo by ituen(m): 12:49am On Sep 25, 2008 |
na who tell u |
| Re: Corporate Lingo by clemcykul(f): 10:32am On Sep 25, 2008 |
ask am o he dey do like say him mama like am |
| Re: Corporate Lingo by MrInfo1(m): 11:31am On Sep 25, 2008 |
If my mama no like me, she for don abort me from belle na |
| Re: Corporate Lingo by clemcykul(f): 11:42am On Sep 25, 2008 |
ur ryte for the first time in history. u get small sense sha |
| Re: Corporate Lingo by MrInfo1(m): 11:55am On Sep 25, 2008 |
i just no like to dey show myself no mean say i no get sense |
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