It strange when i notice that my wife started receiving midnight call this days and when i ask her she said it a friend. How come your friend is not calling during the day i asked her but her replied is that he call on his own convenient time.So i got upset with her and she started crying and swearing that she got nothing to do with this guy his just a friend not until last week when we are about to sleep and the MSG come in to my wife phone when i open the MSG it was a love MSG from the friend of my wife telling her he want to hold her kiss her and he cant imagine his life without my wife.

what amaze me is that my wife still crying and swearing that she has nothing to do with this guy his just a friend .

am confuse i don't know maybe i should believe her or not


NAIRALAND PLEASE ADVICE

am confuse i don't know maybe i should believe her or not

yeah . . .Believe her

This is tricky. It can also be very hurting. I think you should give her the benefit of doubt.

I doubt if she realli has norrin to do with this 'friend'.

believe her until you can catch her at her game (if it is true)

then

Check yourself and your marriage, something is wrong somewhere.

lol!

@ poster, despite it all, pele.

Missy B, Feelitx

thax for your concealed but how do i know maybe she is lying or not

this is really serious

your advice is needed

spikedcylinder

what do you mean

Seriously.
Unless she's planning a  middle of the night surprise birthday party for you, I would say she's lying.
Sorry.

Personally this is what I think:
Firstly. . . She's a married woman and should therefore
have nuttin to do with regular night calls.
Secondly:A love text from the same midnite 'friend'?
Mehn it's not by cryin' and swearin' O.She has to CONVINCE me beyond every doubt
that there's norrin goin' on.

She could be innocent but I doubt.(I'm nt tryin' to cause kasala in ur marriage O.)
Ask her to call the dude in front of you and tell him NEVER to cal her at night again
cause you aren't okay with it.
Watch closely. . . I think there's more to it than jst 'friendship'.

Can she not tell him to stop calling?

Better not let her fool you.

I also suggest DNA tests for the kids.

cant tell you if she is lying or not, but what i want to point out is that women can easily get tears outta their eyes just like that, its like they have control over when they want tears out or not, and swearing to them is so so easy, they are born actress, but that doesnt mean your wife may not be saying the truth o.  

I honestly think she is innocent. But she needs to get her friend to halt those calls.That kind of behaviour is not acceptable type behaviour.

She could be innocent but I doubt.(I'm nt tryin' to cause kasala in ur marriage O.)
Ask her to call the dude in front of you and tell him NEVER to cal her at night again
cause you aren't okay with it.

thank you very much Missy B

i will do as you said

I'm nt tryin' to cause kasala in ur marriage O.)

this is not the case you were just trying to help

LadyT:

Can she not tell him to stop calling?

Better not let her fool you.

I also suggest DNA tests for the kids.

brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhh!

For claiming notin is btwn dem on top of such messages,
wahala dey oh!
But how much do you trust her?
Giv her close markin, 'd soup go soon done'

have you checked her sent messages?

Is she sending back love text messages to him or is she saying this is not right please dont talk me that way i am married?

You should sit down with your wife and ask her honestly where you are lacking.  has she brought some concerns to you that you thought to be not important and brushed off?

Why dont you call her late at night or send her love text messages?

If in fact she is cheating or about to cheat there has to be cause, most women just dont up and do it.  There is a need that this other fella is fullfilling.  Shine your eyes wisely, it maynot be too late to save your marriage.

sistawoman:

Why don't you call her late at night

When they are on same bed?

sistawoman:

have you checked her sent messages?

Is she sending back love text messages to him or is she saying this is not right please don't talk me that way i am married?

You should sit down with your wife and ask her honestly where you are lacking. has she brought some concerns to you that you thought to be not important and brushed off?

Why don't you call her late at night or send her love text messages?

If in fact she is cheating or about to cheat there has to be cause, most women just don't up and do it. There is a need that this other fella is fullfilling. Shine your eyes wisely, it maynot be too late to save your marriage.

Even if she's not sending back love messages, she's obviously cheating and lying. She's also playing on his emotions and being unnecessarily manipulative.

Maybe the guy's an ex he dosent know about

Missy B:


When they are on same bed?

They cant be in the same bed when she is getting midnight calls. Okomi would cut off my head if i was laying next to him talking to some dude at midnight. Hissssssss

sistawoman:

They can't be in the same bed when she is getting midnight calls. 

Says who?
Where will husband and wife sleep if not on same bed?

sistawoman:

Okomi would cut off my head if i was laying next to him talking to some dude at midnight.  Hissssssss

That is Okomi.


Why the hiss?

You should sit down with your wife and ask her honestly where you are lacking.  has she brought some concerns to you that you thought to be not important and brushed off?


THNX sistawoman

BUT I HAVE SAT HER DOWN TO ASK HER THE SAME QUESTION BUT  SHE SAID SHE IS NOT LACKING ANYTHING AND SHE STILL SAY THE SAME OLD STORY THAT NOTHING IS GOING ON BETWEEN BOTH OF THEM THAT HE IS JUST A FRIEND

MAYBE I WILL DO WHAT MISSY B HAVE SAID : TO ASK HER TO CALL HER FRIEND IN MY PESENT AND TELL HER NOT TO CALL HER AGAIN AT MIDNIGHT BUT WHAT ABOUT DURING THE DAY MAYBE WHEN AM AT WORK THEY CAN STILL CALL EACH OTHER

THIS IS REALLY TOUGH AND I don't WANT MY MARRIED TO BREAK UP

AM SO CONFUSED RIGHT NOW

Missy B:

Says who?
Where will husband and wife sleep if not on same bed?That is Okomi.


Why the hiss?

Okomi = my husband

Maybe he works at night, i know my husband does.

the hiss because i cant imange my hubby laying next to me and allowing me to talk to someone else at midnight.  It would never be allowed in my house.  I would never disrespect him like that. . . . he throw a hissy fit when one of my friends called me @ 3am one night just as he was getting home.  It took alot of convincing that the friend ment no harm was just going thru something and needed my help but forgot the time difference.

Maybe i should not have hissed but more like a suck of the teeth or an ahhhhh!!!!

kaaz:

You should sit down with your wife and ask her honestly where you are lacking. has she brought some concerns to you that you thought to be not important and brushed off?


THNX sistawoman

BUT I HAVE SAT HER DOWN TO AKS HER THE SAME QUESTION BUT SAID SHE IS NOT LACKING ANYTHING AND SHE STILL SAY THE SAME OLD STORY THAT NOTHING IS GOING ON BETWEEN BOTH OF THEM THAT HE IS JUST A FRIEND

MAYBE I WILL DO WHAT WHAT MISSY B HAVE SAID : TO ASK HER TO CALL HER FRIEND IN MY PESENT AND TELL HER NOR TO CALL HER AGAIN AT MIDNIGHT BUT WHAT ABOUT DURING THE DAY MAYBE WHEN AM AT WORK THEY CAN STILL CALL EACH OTHER

THIS IS REALLY TOUGH AND I don't WANT MY MARRIED TO BREAK UP

AM SO CONFUSED RIGHT NOW

If you have asked her where you are lacking and she refuses to tell you then there is nothing you can do.

You have to catch her in the act then send her packing. I hate to put it to you like that. Okomi and i have said to each other if there is something that i/he is lacking we must share it and if we do not address each other needs then it is on my head for why Okomi stepped out and the same with him but if i fail to tell him where he is lacking it is not his fault for me stepping out. i hope that was clear.

We have had this understanding from the start. We are honest with each other no matter if it will hurt the other person or not.

Maybe she feels like you will send her packing. Have you tried to tell her i believe he is a friend put that aside i want to talk about us. Make her feel like your conversation about what you are lacking has nothing to do with this situation. She has to know that no matter what she says you will be receptive to it. That is what i love about my husband. i can tell him the truth and if it stings it stings but we can talk about it and work it out. He will not go into a rage about anything i tell him.

Kaaz,

This is not the time to be confused.I think this is a minor issue,as suggested, get her to call her friend and let him know that you will not tolerate such calls,be it at midnight or any other time.

Then if you get to find out that they are talking again,you would have got all the answers you require.

Be strong brother.It can only get better.

kaaz:

BUT WHAT ABOUT DURING THE DAY MAYBE WHEN AM AT WORK THEY CAN STILL CALL EACH OTHER

THIS IS REALLY TOUGH AND I don't WANT MY MARRIED TO BREAK UP

AM SO CONFUSED RIGHT NOW

Deal with the nite calls part FIRST.
Atleast you would have gained your respect.
She isn't suppose to receive calls LATE at nite IN YOUR PRESENCE
without your consent even if the caller is female. . not to talk of when its a guy.

i sincerely think people should review their perception of marriage,
  how is d rln/ship that anor man you do not know is calling ur wife, i mean she has a lot to explain, its not  about saying 'he's just a fren

i strongly suggest You find out from her who the person in question is, is it someone You know,
  the way i see it, d woman should b anxious to sort out the issue and re-establish trust-  even if she was just enjoying the attention,

but seriously, it is a show of disrespect for a spouse for someone he/she doesnt know to call at that time of the nght

nuff said,  ur marriage needs checking out, something obviously aint right

wanita_s:

i sincerely think people should review their perception of marriage,
how is d rln/ship that anor man you do not know is calling ur wife, i mean she has a lot to explain, its not about saying 'he's just a fren

i strongly suggest You find out from her who the person in question is, is it someone You know,
the way i see it, d woman should b anxious to sort out the issue and re-establish trust- even if she was just enjoying the attention,

but seriously, it is a show of disrespect for a spouse for someone he/she doesnt know to call at that time of the nght

nuff said, ur marriage needs checking out, something obviously aint right

You are correct my sister , Iya fortunes dare not try that with me o !

My brother take heart it's one of those things.

Next time if there will be, you have to be observant in choosing a wife.

I wonder the kind dude that'll be calling my wife after 8'30pm or even in my presents.

Try to be a man and not with violence to figure out who commands in your house before another man father a baby you'll help in training.

I'm a man I give my woman respect no woman calls my number even in her absent except she's a family member.

You need not to believe but you should know, your wife is eating the forbidden fruit from another dude.

O boy there is fire on the mountain already, though the fire is still very much controlable.

She might not be having an affair with the guy but somehow, somewhere the guy has a place in her heart.

I had a similar experience with this girl that calls me almost every midnight after we just got in contact. She started getting into me, cos she seems to be filling a vacuum in me. At a time I almost got carried away with this girl, if not for my wife fierce intervention, she reported the midnight calls and sms to my pastor and parents. But the truth is that I don't have any affair whatsoever with that girl only that she was creeping into me small small. Thank God for my wife's intervention.

My bottomline to the poster is that the earlier you do something the better, else your wife maybe carried away into an affair with the guy. Again there may be a vacuum you're not fillimg in her which the guy seems to be filling, talk to her and know where you may not be living up to her desires.

Your wife must be a very good actress to convince you to still trust her inspite of all you have seen.
As for you, well, na you know who you be