@ na2day

You are very defensive. Are you in a similar situation?

I will never understand the need to attack someone and not address the post topic. but anyway

plus_Queen:

Why do you ask?
I already gave you answers
According to you, your Yoruba husband was an immigration arrangee that you claimed to "fall in love with" and married for real.
Your own story
His real motive initially was just papers.
Are you sure he ever changed from that?
Hmm!
For all you know he could have 2 wives and 8 kids somewhere in Akure.
My dear sista your own started on the wrong footing
Have you met his parents or siblings?
I'll hate for you to be part of what the poster is talking about.
Some men can be wicked like that.

Since you know so much about me then you know the answer to your questions. I have already addressed this on the board.

The wives know about it but they chose to keep quiet.

nope, i was wondering if u were

nalijah07:

@ na2day

You are very defensive. Are you in a similar situation?

on a more seriously note, i am not, dont have no woman troubles in my life but i am sick and tired of girls always trying to bash guys without looking at the whole picture thats all.

Even men living in Nigeria live double lives with their wife right beside them.

@na2day?

I dont think her question was to "bash" Nigerian men but to understand the thinking/thought process of the women.

I know i have often wondered what the wife back home thinks, how she feels, what she confines to her closest friends, how she rationalizes this in her head, how much money or material things it takes to give her comfort at night when her husband is in bed with another woman.

What does the husband tell his wife, how does he feel about his Nigerian wife, are there inner struggles that goes on with these men?

I dont think, or at least hope not, the purpose is to "bash" anyone but to understand, explore and grow in understanding of what both parties go through.

ha! u don't nigerian girls very well i see. let me give u a few tips, go read all the threads on nigerian men or guys in general on this forum and u will find nothing but bashings every where but when a guy raises a point against nigerian girls, the first responses have always been to insult the guy's mom, sisters etc. look, my point is, it takes one to know one, if guys are that offensive, i strongly recommend they become lesbians or buy themselves some toys and shut up. look at the story used to illustrate the point of this thread, i am yet to see someone say, hey the nigerian lady preferred the money so she decided to play along, and the guy did let her know what the deal is, survival is the game baby. i am just sick and tired of all these bull talks, u mean to tell me that all the guys they have met, they never came across one christian guy that is just wonderful to be with? that will be the lie of the century, they have lots of them but what they think of those guys is simple, "he is such a nice guy but we are just friends though". there was this thread about how nigerian girls behave in london, u can't believe how many girls came online to defend those girls, bring issues like, "na paper cause am", or "u just met a few bad ones, i am different" etc, so why aren't those excuses valid for guys?

sistawoman:

@na2day?

I don't think her question was to "bash" Nigerian men but to understand the thinking/thought process of the women.

I know i have often wondered what the wife back home thinks, how she feels, what she confines to her closest friends, how she rationalizes this in her head, how much money or material things it takes to give her comfort at night when her husband is in bed with another woman.

What does the husband tell his wife, how does he feel about his Nigerian wife, are there inner struggles that goes on with these men?

I don't think, or at least hope not, the purpose is to "bash" anyone but to understand, explore and grow in understanding of what both parties go through.

na2day?:

ha! u don't nigerian girls very well i see. let me give u a few tips, go read all the threads on nigerian men or guys in general on this forum and u will find nothing but bashings every where but when a guy raises a point against nigerian girls, the first responses have always been to insult the guy's mom, sisters etc. look, my point is, it takes one to know one, if guys are that offensive, i strongly recommend they become lesbians or buy themselves some toys and shut up. look at the story used to illustrate the point of this thread, i am yet to see someone say, hey the nigerian lady preferred the money so she decided to play along, and the guy did let her know what the deal is, survival is the game baby. i am just sick and tired of all these bull talks, u mean to tell me that all the guys they have met, they never came across one christian guy that is just wonderful to be with? that will be the lie of the century, they have lots of them but what they think of those guys is simple, "he is such a nice guy but we are just friends though". there was this thread about how nigerian girls behave in london, u can't believe how many girls came online to defend those girls, bring issues like, "na paper cause am", or "u just met a few bad ones, i am different" etc, so why aren't those excuses valid for guys?

Go back and read my posts. Have i not defended Nigerian men on these boards, have i not stood up and been one of the leading voices to say not all Nigerian men are bad. I am in love with a great, true real Nigerian man. he loves me and only me and despite/inspite of all of his faults and mine as well we make it thru.

If the posters intent was to slander Nigerian men then I am sorry but that is not my intent in keeping the post alive. My intent is education only.

The woman sold her marriage, dignity for a better life in Nigeria. I dont think i could ever do this but I dont know what is like to not be able to provide for my family on my own. I have never been in this woman's shoes and dont know what else the husband has promised her. And I have no idea if the woman is not sleeping around herself.

@ sistawoman - Thank you for vaidating my point that I just want to be able to understand. We do come here to learn. Especially us women that are in relationships with Nigerian men.

@na2day - I have met some really nice "christian" men as well, but from my experience I've met more that are in the situation I described in the begining of the post.

What is wrong with trying to learn? You can't be too sensitive when trying to educate someone who has less knowledge than you.

@ sistawoman

i wasn't referring to u.


@ nalijah07

i was referring to u. despite the fact that u were given an illustration where there are 2 wrongs but u chose to only focus on the guy's fault, that is not learning, that is pointing fingers.

I wasn't pointing fingers, I was just making an observation.

Although I've learned, am I not entitled to an opinion? In my opinion the man comes out the winner. There is nothing malicious in that is there?

**sigh**

nalijah07:

I wasn't pointing fingers, I was just making an observation.

Although I've learned, am I not entitled to an opinion? In my opinion the man comes out the winner. There is nothing malicious in that is there?

**Double sigh**

Have a good day na2day

wishing u same

nalijah07:

**Double sigh**

Have a good day na2day

nalijah stop bothering yourself! polygamy is not a taboo in Nigeria ok? A man can have a wife in  Ogun state, another in Osun, another in Abuja and the women might be fine with. Abubakar an ex vice president in Nigeria promised his wife he would not marry any other woman except her and ended up breaking the promise. Now, he did not travel to America to go and marry another wife he did right under his wife's nose, she did not divorce him.

Now, some men would quickly pack their bags and return home instead of having to marry another wife for whatever reason, so it depends. So kool down baby girl and bother yourself no more.

shit happens

@ ayomifull -

I'm aware that this is the norm. I am just wondering how the wives TRULY FEEL about it. Acceptance is one thing. But how do you feel when you are in bed alone at night knowing that your significant other is in bed with another and that you just have to accept it? It has to break your spirit.

This is like nollywood movie games women play and games men play