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Love Or Submission...which Should Come First In Marriage? - Family - Nairaland

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Love Or Submission...which Should Come First In Marriage? by Crystalline(f): 11:53pm On Jun 29, 2014
A man says...I don't love my wife because she is not submissive perhaps if she were submissive, i'd have loved her.


A woman says...I am not submissive to my husband because he doesn't love me, if he had shown me love, i'd have been submissive.


Ephesians 5:22...wives be submissive to your husbands as unto the LORD

Ephesians 5:25...husbands love your wives just as CHRIST loves the church.

Now my question is "which should come first...LOVE or SUBMISSION?"

Your honest views are welcome.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Love Or Submission...which Should Come First In Marriage? by Nobody: 12:15am On Jun 30, 2014
Submission comes first! Don't forget that accepting to date you is an act of submission, and there is no way two people will go to next level without first submitting to each other. No matter the infatuation, nobody (right thinking person) will propose marriage to somebody thats not submissive even in courtship.
Submission is the glue that holds two people together, be it in friendship or marriage.
And submission is a two way thing of give-and-take and not mono-directional

22 Likes

Re: Love Or Submission...which Should Come First In Marriage? by Crystalline(f): 5:34am On Jun 30, 2014
Nemeka: Submission comes first! Don't forget that accepting to date you is an act of submission, and there is no way two people will go to next level without first submitting to each other. No matter the infatuation, nobody (right thinking person) will propose marriage to somebody thats not submissive even in courtship.
Submission is the glue that holds two people together, be it in friendship or marriage.
And submission is a two way thing of give-and-take and not mono-directional



Thanks Nemeka, more views r welcome
Re: Love Or Submission...which Should Come First In Marriage? by 3Dimension: 5:40am On Jun 30, 2014
Submission and love...

Which should come first?

Love:
And which should come last?

Still LOVE.

Embedded in Love is submission, peace, joy etc.

A woman can be submissive but will neva love the man.

Mind you if a typical naija man says the wife is not "submissive" he actually wants a puppet to control left, right and center.

40 Likes

Re: Love Or Submission...which Should Come First In Marriage? by Sijo01(f): 5:43am On Jun 30, 2014
LOVE!......... A woman can submit the whole of her and forget about herself is she's loved.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Love Or Submission...which Should Come First In Marriage? by Nobody: 5:44am On Jun 30, 2014
Nyashing

2 Likes

Re: Love Or Submission...which Should Come First In Marriage? by sammieguze(m): 5:45am On Jun 30, 2014
Both go together

1 Like

Re: Love Or Submission...which Should Come First In Marriage? by snowland(m): 5:45am On Jun 30, 2014
I think Love comes first before Submission because you can not submit to who you do not love. Love opens so many doors.

6 Likes

Re: Love Or Submission...which Should Come First In Marriage? by Innodon(m): 5:46am On Jun 30, 2014
Love brings submission

7 Likes

Re: Love Or Submission...which Should Come First In Marriage? by Project400: 5:47am On Jun 30, 2014
Crystalline:
Ephesians 5:22...wives be 1. submissive to your husbands as unto the LORD
Ephesians 5:25...husbands 2. love your wives just as CHRIST loves the church.
Now my question is "which should come first...LOVE or SUBMISSION?"
Your honest views are welcome.

Submission is the principal thing, ma. smiley
2 Drivers cannot move a vehicle. One has to be submissive.

7 Likes

Re: Love Or Submission...which Should Come First In Marriage? by Nobody: 5:48am On Jun 30, 2014
Love comes first during courtship and submission must come first in marriage. It takes more than love to keep a marriage.

9 Likes

Re: Love Or Submission...which Should Come First In Marriage? by Cecediva(f): 5:49am On Jun 30, 2014
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Re: Love Or Submission...which Should Come First In Marriage? by justi4jesu(f): 5:49am On Jun 30, 2014
smiley
Re: Love Or Submission...which Should Come First In Marriage? by DollyParton1(f): 5:51am On Jun 30, 2014
Love is the ultimate.
You love people the way they are. Whether submissive or not. Pure love is unconditional. The fact is whether a man shows love or not, a submissive woman will be. And whether a woman is submissive or not, a loving husband will be.

6 Likes

Re: Love Or Submission...which Should Come First In Marriage? by Nobody: 5:51am On Jun 30, 2014
A) A man says...I don't love my wife because she is not submissive perhaps if she were submissive, i'd have loved her.

- BIG LIE: Being submissive to a man will not suddenly make him love you if he does not already.


B) A woman says...I am not submissive to my husband because he doesn't love me, if he had shown me love, i'd have been submissive.


- A woman can absolutely be (and unfortunately they often are) "submissive" without an ounce of love in her heart for the man or love shown. The reason she hasn't been submissive is because she isn't submissive.

Essentially,

A = SUBMIT to me for my LOVE.

B = LOVE me and I will SUBIT to you.

These two statements are of the dark variety, and just plain scary.

7 Likes

Re: Love Or Submission...which Should Come First In Marriage? by Big4wig(m): 5:58am On Jun 30, 2014
Unless she physically threw him over her shoulder and carried him away, she did not steal your man, he left.ladies should be both submissive & loving

1 Like

Re: Love Or Submission...which Should Come First In Marriage? by ednut1(m): 5:59am On Jun 30, 2014
the foundation of marriage is submission. but since there is gennder equality bullcrap. there shud nt be marriage but co habitation hahaha

1 Like

Re: Love Or Submission...which Should Come First In Marriage? by tintingz(m): 6:07am On Jun 30, 2014
To men, submission defines love.

But I think love covers it all.

1 Like

Re: Love Or Submission...which Should Come First In Marriage? by Nobody: 6:07am On Jun 30, 2014
Submission begets real love...
Submission gives inner peace to the man and thus cause him to live longer...
Submission makes a man to always run home to his wife after the day's job.

Submission does the magic.

Except the man is not a real man...

1 Like

Re: Love Or Submission...which Should Come First In Marriage? by Emmaomotob(m): 6:13am On Jun 30, 2014
smiley
ednut1: the foundation of marriage is submission. but since there is gennder equality bullcrap. there shud nt be marriage but co habitation hahaha
wink.
Sijo01: LOVE!......... A woman can submit the whole of her and forget about herself is she's loved.
.You are right but not all women expectially not those slots and shemales in Western world that say they are strong women as if the word woman signifies weekness and divorce like dogs.ALL MADE EQUAL A WOMAN NEEDS LOVE AND A MAN NEEDS HIS PRIDE INTACT.We are all equal but to man God gave autority which you must back by love.I FOUND OUT THAT EQUALITY OBSESSION IS MOSTLY A WESTERN THING BECAUSE OF HOW THEY WERE TREATED IN THE PAST,THAT IS WHY THEIR MARRIAGE DON'T LAST.LIKE ARISTOLE SAID THE ONLY THING A WOMAN NEEDS IS LOVE

1 Like

Re: Love Or Submission...which Should Come First In Marriage? by Nobody: 6:16am On Jun 30, 2014
It's love first, last n always. If a woman loves, u will definitely be submissive. If a man shows love, she becomes submissive, if she is submissive, den d man will definitely love her.

5 Likes

Re: Love Or Submission...which Should Come First In Marriage? by lilmax(m): 6:17am On Jun 30, 2014
Is there any need to stress this? As you can see in the bible submission comes first,i cant even love a woman that is not submissive

1 Like

Re: Love Or Submission...which Should Come First In Marriage? by Danielotuya(m): 6:20am On Jun 30, 2014
Like you av already pointed out frm d good book...it is different for both parties. For Men it is submission while on d Women's angle it is Love.

2 Likes

Re: Love Or Submission...which Should Come First In Marriage? by lilmax(m): 6:28am On Jun 30, 2014
Please dont tell me this nairaland data loss affected the fake feminists,this is the topic they rant about
Re: Love Or Submission...which Should Come First In Marriage? by TRADELYN: 6:32am On Jun 30, 2014
grin LoVe is the greatest; so, it should come first.

We LoVe You shocked

2 Likes

Re: Love Or Submission...which Should Come First In Marriage? by wazobiaforu(m): 6:32am On Jun 30, 2014
Just tell me a Man that love an arrogant wife...


Love, must be there before a man will ask "will you marry me" and love must also be there before a lady will say "yes I will"

Some people minimize their submission while in courtship with "you are not yet my husband" or not yet my wife.

So now that you are married, the next thing is Submission, so submission come immediately after Marriage



MAN appreciate a submissive and respective wife
WOMEN appreciate a man that show love

2 Likes

Re: Love Or Submission...which Should Come First In Marriage? by Nobody: 6:36am On Jun 30, 2014
3Dimension: Submission and love...

Which should come first?

Love:
And which should come last?

Still LOVE.

Embedded in Love is submission, peace, joy etc.

A woman can be submissive but will neva love the man.

Mind you if a typical naija man says the wife is not "submissive" he actually wants a puppet to control left, right and center.
Exactly! I totally agree.

4 Likes

Re: Love Or Submission...which Should Come First In Marriage? by Afrocatalyst: 6:37am On Jun 30, 2014
Love.

2 Likes

Re: Love Or Submission...which Should Come First In Marriage? by madan(f): 6:44am On Jun 30, 2014
Love and submission work together. Its not a matter of which is first or second. For the fact that the woman ws being talked to first in the bible abt submittin and the man second abt loving his wife, does nt mean one has to be done before another. If you dont love a woman, can u agree to marry her Nope. The love must come and she must strengthen it with submission. Thanks

4 Likes

Re: Love Or Submission...which Should Come First In Marriage? by Nobody: 6:44am On Jun 30, 2014
wazobia_for_u: Just tell me a Man that love an arrogant wife...
I'm guessing your idea of "arrogant" here means a woman with confidence or one who actually has a mind of her own? A woman who tells her husband when he's doing something wrong and doesn't just sit back and swallow all his BS? Funny! Majority of African men actually just want a puppet as a wife. Its 2014, now a man actually has to listen to his wife for that marriage to work. That's why there should be courtship before marriage, where they both get to spend time together and understand each other better and figure out if they're right for each other and NOT just rush into the marriage. Marriage should be 50/50. smiley

10 Likes

Re: Love Or Submission...which Should Come First In Marriage? by Nobody: 6:45am On Jun 30, 2014
lil max: Please dont tell me this nairaland data loss affected the fake feminists,this is the topic they rant about
what's this one saying? :-S :-/
Re: Love Or Submission...which Should Come First In Marriage? by ITbomb(m): 6:50am On Jun 30, 2014
80% of the time, the reason guys leave their gf of 4 years to marry a younger girl they met 3 months ago is lack of respect and submission over time probably cos of familiarity.

So even in courtship, some submission is necessary though guys only demand it in marriage. But love should always compliment it

7 Likes

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