cannonnier: Just create a thread, there will be enough people you will here from.

DesChyko:
Lol.. Create wetin?
You want me to die by Nairaland firing squad? Hahaha

Zahrabinnta: Yes,the bride price aspect is meaningless,traditional weddings are great and all but when money is being exchanged over a human head it makes some men think that they own the wife.

EnlightenedSoul: An extremely multi-faceted article. I'm not sure what to address first!

I think about all this quite a bit. Like you, I'm on the fence regarding the topic of bride prices. Interesting are the sentiments expressed in the song you shared btw! Personally, I feel it's an outdated practice. Still, despite having been born and spent most of our time in the West, all my older siblings have gone the traditional route, bride price included. Not surprisingly, when I expressed my thoughts, my folks had the exact same old-world parental reaction expressed in the article; it was inconceivable. Nowadays, I've even noticed people compete in the areas of "grandest bride price" and "grandest wedding"!

Inter-ethnic African unions/relationships are still full of hurdles, at least in my case, but I feel it shouldn't be so terribly hard to incorporate something of both cultures within the ceremony. Like you, I value the idea of a cultural wedding, and like you, I also feel there are quite a few traditional practices that are better buried in the past - weddings aside.

It's very easy for those of us living outside the "box" to cherry pick what we like about our respective cultures, but there are those who live it everyday, and in reality it is they who hold the reigns. Changing even one aspect of a local culture is easier said than done. There is a certain comfort in tradition, and people are generally not creatures of change. Society also has a way of shaping the perceptions of the populace. Before some purist suffers an aneurysm: when I say change, I do not mean westernization but rather a local cultural innovation, especially within certain areas, and within reason. It shouldn't mean a complete change of identity.

I feel we desperately need to free our minds in order to move forward.

CongoleseQueen:
As an individual who was raised in a home centered around culture, I fully understand the importance of traditional practices. However, I have struggled with grasping the reasoning behind some of these practices. I recall having a conversation with a friend about the process of traditional marriage. She once told her mom that she was not interested in receiving a bride price. She is all for having a traditional wedding, but refuses to participate in a ceremony that she feels is unnecessary. Her mom was certainly not pleased with her request. In fact, she informed her that it wasn’t a decision that lied in her hands. It had already been decided for her the moment she was born. While I do see where her mother is coming from, I don’t think she should be forced to adhere to a custom that doesn’t apply to her as an individual. If anything, it should be a choice.

In 2004, activists from Nigeria, Uganda, Kenya, Tanzania, Senegal, Ghana, Rwanda and South Africa gathered in Kampala for the International Bride Price Conference to discuss ways of eliminating its practice in Africa. Quite frankly, I don’t think it is a good idea to get rid of it completely. I simply think that people should not be forced to participate. It should be optional.

A single African country can have anywhere from five to two hundred tribes, and each tribe carries its own customs. With so many rituals in place, individuals who come from the same country, but belong to different tribes, are not encouraged to marry. This is not a progressive way of thinking. If these traditions aren’t creating unified sense of belonging, why are Africans still holding on to them?

For many Africans, the rise of inter-tribe and inter-Africa marriages is a sign that tribal disputes have ended. That’s like saying, inter-religion marriages have ended religious wars and disputes. It couldn’t be further from the truth. Tribal fighting is still an ongoing problem in Africa. Africans are still committing atrocious acts of violence towards one another due to tribal differences. A friend of mine once said that Africans are always complaining about how badly they were treated by Europeans, but refuse to acknowledge the fact that they are doing the same thing to each other.

Inter-tribe and inter-Africa marriages are becoming more popular due to Western influence. Most Western societies encourage cultural diversity and tolerance. Africans who have been exposed to it tend to become more open. The average African, living within the borders of Africa, would prefer to marry a person from their tribe. In fact, they have zero interest in knowing what goes on in other regions.

South Africa was listed as one of the world’s most multilingual countries. The average South African can speak or understand all of the country’s main languages. This is a great strategy towards creating a sense of unity and belonging within its frontier. It is a fantastic way of promoting cultural diversity.

In conclusion, before we start advocating for a “united Africa”, let’s first encourage a “united Congo”, “united Nigeria”, “united Sudan” and so forth. Africans love culture. That is what makes our continent so beautiful. However, it’s very difficult to genuinely appreciate the culture when it is playing key role in dividing our people. Africans hold traditional practices very close to their hearts, as they have been passed on from generation to generation. Change is not something most of us are quick to accept, but if we are working towards a unified and progressive Africa, accepting cultural diversity and tolerance is the right way forward.

iam_ord: I must say africa is loosing its place as the time goes by.. You blame it on the attitude of the black people..u see one reason why we don't move forward is because we are afraid of change.. All races have passed through what we r going through.. Some modified and threw out the ones that r not needed so as to customize the tradition for this generation and beyond.. But we over here.. Just like it that way .. Africa has lost its place in time..this time a lot of family members see the bride price as a chance to amass wealth.. And can kill for that.. A lot of irregularities go unchecked..and now the irregularities have become Part of the present tradition.. This is because black leaders and majority of the people are not intelligent enough to understand that there has to be reforms in all sectors of culture and traditions. to make it conform with present day .we lack vision..and very soon.. All history will be wiped out cos we don't learn

milychocs:

LOL
Dude....Mother Africa weeps for this post
Colonialism on display
Chai

sebyluv:
Babe stop being theatrical. we have all being Colonized, its Jst left for us to forge better paths for ourselves. If does Trad rites ain't good enuf again, den let's go ahead with better things.

Number_One: Africa is facing a serious identity crisis.
We gladly accept foreign religions and cultures (especially Christianity and Islam) while looking down on ours.

[size=18pt]If we question traditional practices, how many religious practices have we questioned?[/size]
There are many religious practices that raise more questions than these traditional practices.

Look at places like Japan which are modern cities but maintain most of their ancient traditions.
Must Africa copy the west in the name of modernization?

milychocs:
I dont blame our parents for naming us, but it is now left for us to #bring our positive Africanness back...with ethnic names, natural hair (okay, you may perm it for manageability), promoting traditional marriages and other positive cultural activities and behaviours.....
Okay...white weddings have started being a tad embarrassing to me.....bring an oyibo to a white wedding in Naija, and take him to a trad wedding, he would be all "wow" about the trad, true story
Some schools in Nigeria celebrate Halloween....I rest my case
My view, no theatrics intended

Cheers

So I went home and asked my mother if I could be called Zoe. I remember she was cooking, and in her Nigerian accent she said, “Why?” I said, “Nobody can pronounce it.” Without missing a beat, she said, “If they can learn to say Tchaikovsky and Michelangelo and Dostoyevsky, they can learn to say Uzoamaka."

Zedric: Lemme ask a simple question. Do u know americans(and the other white people) that u want us to start copying still observe traditional marriage rites? Ever heard of the pratice of throwing grains of rice at newly-weds or jumping the broom? If we cancel our traditional rites because we are trying to be like them, won't it be just stupid?

CongoleseQueen:

Where in my article do I mention copying Americans? Please show me. I never said that. Reformation isn't bad. All societies have gone through it -- it is part of growth and evolution. In addition to that, we already copy the European culture. So it's too late for your suggestion.