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Is It Ideal For A Mother-in-law To Move In With A Newly Married Couple?? - Family - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Is It Ideal For A Mother-in-law To Move In With A Newly Married Couple?? (21928 Views)

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Is It Ideal For A Mother-in-law To Move In With A Newly Married Couple?? by QweenMercy(f): 6:26pm On Jul 08, 2014
Is it ideal for a mother-in-law to move in with a newly married couple??
If NO state ur reasons..
And if YEs also state ur reasons...
Leggo!!!
Re: Is It Ideal For A Mother-in-law To Move In With A Newly Married Couple?? by Nobody: 7:32pm On Jul 08, 2014
Not advisable at allllllll. There is absolutely no way a mother-in-law's presence won't have a negative vibe in a young marriage, whether its the mother-in law of the husband or wife. There is no way a mother-in law wouldnt want to be in control in that marriage.

The first year of marriage is usually tough because the couple are just getting to LEARN to live together inspite of their different backgrounds. And as years pass by, they get to understand each other better. Now add the influence of a mother-in law to the mix, ahhhh, Recipe for disaster!! The wife's role in the home will always be looked upon with a microscope, her cooking, how she keeps her home in fact every single thing she does will always be criticised by the mother- in law. Even the mother of the wife will want to question how the husband runs his family.

Not all mothers -in law are bad BUT their influence in marriages must be avoided/minimised at all cost or else there will always be conflicts that will refuse to end. Which is why the man as the Head has a huge role to play in this. Mothers-in law are free to visit but please couples should be allowed to focus on their families and should learn to chase off any form of influence in their marriage if they really want to enjoy their marriage.

44 Likes

Re: Is It Ideal For A Mother-in-law To Move In With A Newly Married Couple?? by Lordabas: 7:51pm On Jul 08, 2014
Sophyrocks: Not advisable at allllllll. There is absolutely no way a mother-in-law's presence won't have a negative vibe in a young marriage, whether its the mother-in law of the husband or wife. There is no way a mother-in law wouldnt want to be in control in that marriage.

The first year of marriage is usually tough because the couple are just getting to LEARN to live together inspite of their different backgrounds. And as years pass by, they get to understand each other better. Now add the influence of a mother-in law to the mix, ahhhh, Recipe for disaster!! The wife's role in the home will always be looked upon with a microscope, her cooking, how she keeps her home in fact every single thing she does will always be criticised by the mother- in law. Even the mother of the wife will want to question how the husband runs his family.

Not all mothers -in law are bad BUT their influence in marriages must be avoided/minimised at all cost or else there will always be conflicts that will refuse to end. Which is why the man as the Head has a huge role to play in this. Mothers-in law are free to visit but please couples should be allowed to focus on their families and should learn to chase off any form of influence in their marriage if they really want to enjoy their marriage.

I concur.

2 Likes

Re: Is It Ideal For A Mother-in-law To Move In With A Newly Married Couple?? by Danhumprey: 8:01pm On Jul 08, 2014
For wetin nau? Make the mother-inlaw dey watch them b.anging each other on the bed?undecided


I for one,won't tolerate my mother-inlaw's presence in my matrimonial home in the early days of our marital life!
Re: Is It Ideal For A Mother-in-law To Move In With A Newly Married Couple?? by Nobody: 8:17pm On Jul 08, 2014
to me o, itz not ideal coz most mothers-in-law tend to interfere in matters that could be easily resolved by d couple, then make a big deal out of it

2 Likes

Re: Is It Ideal For A Mother-in-law To Move In With A Newly Married Couple?? by QweenMercy(f): 9:07pm On Jul 08, 2014
Sophyrocks: Not advisable at allllllll. There is absolutely no way a mother-in-law's presence won't have a negative vibe in a young marriage, whether its the mother-in law of the husband or wife. There is no way a mother-in law wouldnt want to be in control in that marriage.

The first year of marriage is usually tough because the couple are just getting to LEARN to live together inspite of their different backgrounds. And as years pass by, they get to understand each other better. Now add the influence of a mother-in law to the mix, ahhhh, Recipe for disaster!! The wife's role in the home will always be looked upon with a microscope, her cooking, how she keeps her home in fact every single thing she does will always be criticised by the mother- in law. Even the mother of the wife will want to question how the husband runs his family.

Not all mothers -in law are bad BUT their influence in marriages must be avoided/minimised at all cost or else there will always be conflicts that will refuse to end. Which is why the man as the Head has a huge role to play in this. Mothers-in law are free to visit but please couples should be allowed to focus on their families and should learn to chase off any form of influence in their marriage if they really want to enjoy their marriage.

True talk...seconded!

2 Likes

Re: Is It Ideal For A Mother-in-law To Move In With A Newly Married Couple?? by myads890(m): 1:05am On Jul 09, 2014
She has no reason to. Even if her husband is dead, the best solution will be to buy her a vibr*tor

1 Like

Re: Is It Ideal For A Mother-in-law To Move In With A Newly Married Couple?? by madridguy(m): 5:42am On Jul 09, 2014
Sophyrocks: Not advisable at allllllll. There is absolutely no way a mother-in-law's presence won't have a negative vibe in a young marriage, whether its the mother-in law of the husband or wife. There is no way a mother-in law wouldnt want to be in control in that marriage.

The first year of marriage is usually tough because the couple are just getting to LEARN to live together inspite of their different backgrounds. And as years pass by, they get to understand each other better. Now add the influence of a mother-in law to the mix, ahhhh, Recipe for disaster!! The wife's role in the home will always be looked upon with a microscope, her cooking, how she keeps her home in fact every single thing she does will always be criticised by the mother- in law. Even the mother of the wife will want to question how the husband runs his family.

Not all mothers -in law are bad BUT their influence in marriages must be avoided/minimised at all cost or else there will always be conflicts that will refuse to end. Which is why the man as the Head has a huge role to play in this. Mothers-in law are free to visit but please couples should be allowed to focus on their families and should learn to chase off any form of influence in their marriage if they really want to enjoy their marriage.

You said it all. Barka lahu fihi

1 Like

Re: Is It Ideal For A Mother-in-law To Move In With A Newly Married Couple?? by LMAyedun(m): 5:42am On Jul 09, 2014
myads890: She has no reason to. Even if her husband is dead, the best solution will be to buy her a vibr*tor
What has Vibr*tor got to do with the issue at hand undecided

16 Likes

Re: Is It Ideal For A Mother-in-law To Move In With A Newly Married Couple?? by Smartsyn(m): 5:43am On Jul 09, 2014
totally not ideal, the newlyweds should be allowed to find their footings as a family together






Meanwhile,most mother-in-laws can be controlling and possessive atimes.
Re: Is It Ideal For A Mother-in-law To Move In With A Newly Married Couple?? by gbaskiboy: 5:48am On Jul 09, 2014
Sophyrocks: Not advisable at allllllll. There is absolutely no way a mother-in-law's presence won't have a negative vibe in a young marriage, whether its the mother-in law of the husband or wife. There is no way a mother-in law wouldnt want to be in control in that marriage.

The first year of marriage is usually tough because the couple are just getting to LEARN to live together inspite of their different backgrounds. And as years pass by, they get to understand each other better. Now add the influence of a mother-in law to the mix, ahhhh, Recipe for disaster!! The wife's role in the home will always be looked upon with a microscope, her cooking, how she keeps her home in fact every single thing she does will always be criticised by the mother- in law. Even the mother of the wife will want to question how the husband runs his family.

Not all mothers -in law are bad BUT their influence in marriages must be avoided/minimised at all cost or else there will always be conflicts that will refuse to end. Which is why the man as the Head has a huge role to play in this. Mothers-in law are free to visit but please couples should be allowed to focus on their families and should learn to chase off any form of influence in their marriage if they really want to enjoy their marriage.
hmmmm! Practical research in motion, I agree with you

1 Like

Re: Is It Ideal For A Mother-in-law To Move In With A Newly Married Couple?? by Nobody: 5:55am On Jul 09, 2014
To do what? Coach the newly couple how to behave? To me,its hell No. Told my fiancee,no family,from my side,or her side is coming to stay with us.new couple needs privacy to bond together,and during that period,Trespasser will be prosecuted.

8 Likes

Re: Is It Ideal For A Mother-in-law To Move In With A Newly Married Couple?? by Diamonddamsel: 6:00am On Jul 09, 2014
What will she be doing in their house?Not ideal at all.

1 Like

Re: Is It Ideal For A Mother-in-law To Move In With A Newly Married Couple?? by kibo: 6:00am On Jul 09, 2014
It depends and is subject to many conditions.

- If it entails health concern, house keeping, age restriction (too old to take care of themselves), and the opposite spouse is comfortable. This shouldnt be an issue.
- On the flip side, if there is no cogent reason like the ones listed above. Then moving in should not be a viable option, especially when she is the kind of interferring or manipulative in-law. It could break the home.
Generally Speaking, it would eventually boil down to personality type and agenda. My candid contribution.

myads890: She has no reason to. Even if her husband is dead, the best solution will be to buy her a vibr*tor

This is your best solution ?? I wonder what you were thinking. Common sense must be really elusive.

3 Likes

Re: Is It Ideal For A Mother-in-law To Move In With A Newly Married Couple?? by Impulse80(m): 6:01am On Jul 09, 2014
Why would she want to move in?

1 Like

Re: Is It Ideal For A Mother-in-law To Move In With A Newly Married Couple?? by hydeka: 6:06am On Jul 09, 2014
Why should she? I thought they say a man (and woman) shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife/husband and the two shall become one. Her presence will just mess up this already complex mathematics.

10 Likes

Re: Is It Ideal For A Mother-in-law To Move In With A Newly Married Couple?? by feminineA: 6:06am On Jul 09, 2014
The day your Mother in law moves in with you is the day trouble starts in your home. No matter how she likes you. she will always find fault in all your doings , the faults she will ignore in her female kids


Don't try it if you dont want to be frustrated and trying to impress her in-impressible heart

3 Likes

Re: Is It Ideal For A Mother-in-law To Move In With A Newly Married Couple?? by GboyegaD(m): 6:08am On Jul 09, 2014
Did she forget to teach her child something that she needs to teach him /her in their new home.

9 Likes

Re: Is It Ideal For A Mother-in-law To Move In With A Newly Married Couple?? by echobee(f): 6:12am On Jul 09, 2014
GboyegaD: Did she forget to teach her child something that she needs to teach him /her in their new home.

grin grin grin grin grin grin.
NO IS D ANSWER. IT IS NOT ADVISABLE.ORELSE DAT HOUSE GO DIVIDE AND D MOTHER INLAW WILL BE D COMMAND IN CHIEF.

1 Like

Re: Is It Ideal For A Mother-in-law To Move In With A Newly Married Couple?? by Nobody: 6:13am On Jul 09, 2014
yes its gud a lot of matches will be played at that period and they will need a reffere.
Re: Is It Ideal For A Mother-in-law To Move In With A Newly Married Couple?? by dagentility(f): 6:26am On Jul 09, 2014
No way,what happened to the house she was living in before we got married. I love my privacy alot. If i wear bum short now,she go dey scream say i wan seduce her son.

4 Likes

Re: Is It Ideal For A Mother-in-law To Move In With A Newly Married Couple?? by DesChyko: 6:29am On Jul 09, 2014
No.. No.. No..
A newly married couple needs time to gel and adapt to the changes in their lives, without undue interferences from third parties.
This is because such parties will surely impact on their lives and favour one partner over the other.
Re: Is It Ideal For A Mother-in-law To Move In With A Newly Married Couple?? by lilmax(m): 6:32am On Jul 09, 2014
No it is not ideal
Re: Is It Ideal For A Mother-in-law To Move In With A Newly Married Couple?? by shalomtemmy(f): 6:44am On Jul 09, 2014
Sophyrocks: Not advisable at allllllll. There is absolutely no way a mother-in-law's presence won't have a negative vibe in a young marriage, whether its the mother-in law of the husband or wife. There is no way a mother-in law wouldnt want to be in control in that marriage.

The first year of marriage is usually tough because the couple are just getting to LEARN to live together inspite of their different backgrounds. And as years pass by, they get to understand each other better. Now add the influence of a mother-in law to the mix, ahhhh, Recipe for disaster!! The wife's role in the home will always be looked upon with a microscope, her cooking, how she keeps her home in fact every single thing she does will always be criticised by the mother- in law. Even the mother of the wife will want to question how the husband runs his family.

Not all mothers -in law are bad BUT their influence in marriages must be avoided/minimised at all cost or else there will always be conflicts that will refuse to end. Which is why the man as the Head has a huge role to play in this. Mothers-in law are free to visit but please couples should be allowed to focus on their families and should learn to chase off any form of influence in their marriage if they really want to enjoy their marriage.
i totally agree with u

1 Like

Re: Is It Ideal For A Mother-in-law To Move In With A Newly Married Couple?? by brabus(m): 6:51am On Jul 09, 2014
Yes - it makes life easier and reduces the risk of failed marriages.

It's better than having to talk to your ex-gf/bf when you're down.

Finding a good mother-in-law is the main issue. My mom lived with me for 2 years after my wedding and I'm glad she did. The problem with us is that we want to live our life in pretense, do not want our families and friends to see our failings. We want to conceal our inadequacies

Anyway, my marriage is thankful for my mom stayed a while after we tied the knot. She was there to take care of the kids while my spouse is learning how to be a mother from a real mother and not from a friend. I couldn't do that myself and there's no school in this life for that.

We learn the easiest way.

5 Likes

Re: Is It Ideal For A Mother-in-law To Move In With A Newly Married Couple?? by ochejoseph(m): 6:58am On Jul 09, 2014
YES!!!

But on the following conditions

1. If the Girl was pregnant outside wedlock and about to put to bed or has just given birth

2. If the bride has started receiving the Dino Melaye kind of treatment (Black eyes, swollen lips, before day break)

3 If the couple already had a child before the wedding and wants to go on honey moon alone

4. Finally ,if the newly wed decides its time to end their new union in slow motion !

3 Likes

Re: Is It Ideal For A Mother-in-law To Move In With A Newly Married Couple?? by owobokiri(m): 6:59am On Jul 09, 2014
We tend to blow this thing out of propoortion most times. A young gal is courting a guy and gets on well with the guys mother, pretending to find no problems with her presence in her guys place all the while. Then the marriage is solemnized and she turns a tiger finding faults with her every act all of a sudden. This just happened with a relative and I don't think the young gal is totally innocent. She knows why the woman was/is there! She just lost her husband and has no female issues. You don't expect her to go and die of lonliness in the village! It is not the ideal situation but be flexible sometimes! He is your husband, we all know, but he is somebodys son too! Everybody is saying no no no as if a mother in law is one wingless witch from hell, including ladies who will use the excuse of childbirth to bring in their mothers on almost a permanent basis. The man should take charge. You know and understand the two women, try to manage things in a matured way. While mothers shouldn't make their married childs home their permanent home unless situations like the above example forces them do so, any marriage that can only succed when the mother in law is treated as an outcast should not be consumated in the first place! You freedom loving ladies should find ways to accommodate your mother in laws. Your husbands came from a family, they didnt drop from the sky.

20 Likes

Re: Is It Ideal For A Mother-in-law To Move In With A Newly Married Couple?? by Nobody: 7:00am On Jul 09, 2014
Sophyrocks: Not advisable at allllllll. There is absolutely no way a mother-in-law's presence won't have a negative vibe in a young marriage, whether its the mother-in law of the husband or wife. There is no way a mother-in law wouldnt want to be in control in that marriage.

The first year of marriage is usually tough because the couple are just getting to LEARN to live together inspite of their different backgrounds. And as years pass by, they get to understand each other better. Now add the influence of a mother-in law to the mix, ahhhh, Recipe for disaster!! The wife's role in the home will always be looked upon with a microscope, her cooking, how she keeps her home in fact every single thing she does will always be criticised by the mother- in law. Even the mother of the wife will want to question how the husband runs his family.

Not all mothers -in law are bad BUT their influence in marriages must be avoided/minimised at all cost or else there will always be conflicts that will refuse to end. Which is why the man as the Head has a huge role to play in this. Mothers-in law are free to visit but please couples should be allowed to focus on their families and should learn to chase off any form of influence in their marriage if they really want to enjoy their marriage.
So on Point!..

1 Like

Re: Is It Ideal For A Mother-in-law To Move In With A Newly Married Couple?? by Nobody: 7:07am On Jul 09, 2014
QweenMercy: Is it ideal for a mother-in-law to move in with a newly married couple??
If NO state ur reasons..
And if YEs also state ur reasons...
Leggo!!!

A big Nooooooo!, wey get comma without ending..
Because thats always the beginning of commotion, destruction and manipulation for d couple. Its never advisable for any mother-in-law in her right senses to do that.
D bible never instructed any mother-in -law to leave her home to cleave 2 her child nw...only d couples re permitted to do that.
So wetin lost wey d woman dey find 4 her pikin haux? Abi them been tell am say them no go born ni?
The so-called rubbish really pisses one off.

1 Like

Re: Is It Ideal For A Mother-in-law To Move In With A Newly Married Couple?? by brabus(m): 7:09am On Jul 09, 2014
For those who says NO, there must be reasons.

For me, here's my main reason

I told my wife if she can get along with my mother, she'll easily get along with me. Why? "Because I can never hit my mother!"
Re: Is It Ideal For A Mother-in-law To Move In With A Newly Married Couple?? by Karleb(m): 7:10am On Jul 09, 2014
dagentility: No way,what happened to the house she was living in before we got married. I love my privacy alot. If i wear bum short now,she go dey scream say i wan seduce her son.

undecided the son you don already marry, abi you no the meaning of MIL? undecided

2 Likes

Re: Is It Ideal For A Mother-in-law To Move In With A Newly Married Couple?? by Nobody: 7:11am On Jul 09, 2014
Perhaps i forgot to add its only advisable when d wife is nursing a child. In this case, the help of d mother-in-law is always needed bt only for a short time.

1 Like

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